“Sure, give me ten minutes.” The smile she gave him made his heart ache. The fact that she could smile like that killed him a little inside. How could she go through what he saw in her nightmares and still smile like hanging out with him was the best thing that ever happened?
And the most fucked up thing about it all was that he was mad at her. For all of it or none of it, he didn’t know which. He was mad that she became a criminal, mad that she took the law into her own hands, mad that she never looked for them to help her when it got bad.
He wasn’t mad that Zander had to tell him about it, though. He was jealous that she told Zander and not him.
He got into the Range Rover and waited for her. He leaned his head on the steering wheel and closed his eyes.
“Axel.” He mumbled to himself. That was the who... maybe. He was missing something very important, and that was also driving him mad. Maybe it was Axel in her dreams because he recently tried to kill her. Dreams were fickle things, wreaking havoc on memories and confusing the truth.
“I’m here.” She jumped in, and he sighed. “Let’s go.”
Jasper opened the garage door and started the Range Rover without saying anything. He knew he was cornered. He could have told her no, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to.
It took her two minutes to begin nailing his ass to the wall over avoiding her, and she did it in true Sawyer style.
“What the fuck has been your problem?” Her excited and happy outlook over going into town with him was dropped in favor for a glare. He shook his head.
“Nothing.” He was going to fight this with every fiber of his being.
“Liar,” she growled.
“You don’t get to call me a liar,” he bit back. “Not after the life you’ve led.”
“So that’s where we’re at? I tell you and Zander something important about myself and then you avoid me? That doesn’t make a lot of sense, even for you, Jasper.”
“You didn’t tell me anything,” he snarled, pointing a finger at her. “You told Zander, and he had to tell me. The only thing you’ve told me was that you didn’t look for us when we searched for you for years.”
“Is that what this is about?” She looked to be feeling some blend of anger and confusion. “I… didn’t want to tell the same story twice. Sorry for not wanting to… I thought you would like hearing from Zander more anyways since you two…”
“It doesn’t matter,” Jasper sighed, clenching his fists on the steering wheel until his knuckles were white.
“It does,” she insisted. “Jasper, I didn’t do it like that to hurt you.”
“It. Doesn’t. Matter.”
“Well, if that’s not the problem, then what is?” She was back to glaring holes into the side of his head.
He flatly ignored her and continued driving them to town. He wasn’t even sure he could put it into words. His rigid sense of morality was furious at her life of crime. His old feelings for her were being pulled back to the surface by her gorgeous body, sense of humor, and tough spirit. He was upset for her because of what happened to her. He was haunted by her nightmares. He wasn’t sure which one was worse. He was positive there were more emotions hiding underneath those. It was all just too much for him.
He refused to say a word until he parked them at the small hardware store in town.
“Let’s get this stuff you need,” he mumbled, cutting the engine and getting out. He waited for her at the door. She wasn’t allowed to be more than ten feet away from a member of the team while they were in town. She couldn’t be out of their line of sight, either.
She didn’t say anything to him this time, just stomped around him and inside the store. He followed as she filled a small cart. He had no idea with what, not paying attention to what she was grabbing.
When they reached the check out, he paid for it. She could have, if she knew she was rich again, but she didn’t. They had unlocked her accounts, convincing James that the money should be given to her students and Charlie. They hadn’t told her that all the money was slowly being funneled to them, but they would eventually. They didn’t want her knowing that the money was accessible.
They loaded the car in silence until Jasper decided to try a different approach to the problem.
“I’m hungry,” he said, trying to sound friendly. “Want to grab a bite to eat?”
“Sure,” she responded brusquely. He winced at it. She was furious with him.
“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?” She snapped, slamming the back gate closed. “Be a friend? A human being? What, Jasper? Act like an adult about your problems?”
“Damn it,” Jasper snarled, hurt by what she was saying. “I’ve never been the one you argue with. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to fix how I feel. I’m sorry for that but I don’t need your bad attitude.”
“You don’t fix feelings,” she hissed. “You confront them, and you talk about them. It’s fucking hard, I know, but it’s not a math equation that you just solve and there’s a definitive answer at the end.”
“You want to talk?” Jasper glared at her. “I am fucking furious with you. You became everything I hate in this world. You have a complete disregard for order and the law. You think that just because the law isn’t doing something, that means that you can. You’re arrogant, secretive, and have only given me half-truths since the moment we saw each other again.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “And I hate myself for being angry at you.”
“Jasper.” She looked stunned. “You are allowed to be angry over that, I get that.”
“You got hurt,” he growled, sounding like an animal in pain. “Someone hurt you when you could have been with Zander and me. We should have protected you. And I have no right to be mad at you after what you went through, but I am. Being mad at you is the last thing I want. You getting hurt was the last thing I imagined when Zander and I left. I had wanted so much, but never that.” The anger left him and he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him, slowly, knowing that if he forced her around, he could trigger something. Once he had her close enough, he took her chin. “I’m no good at this.”
He swooped down and cautiously kissed her. He’d been wanting to kiss that tiny scar. He’d been wanting to devour her. If she wanted him to confront his feelings, then fine, but he was going to confront all of them, including the ones that he’d avoided as a teenager. The ones that made all of this so much more complicated. The ones that never seemed to go away.
Her lips parted against his, and he growled softly, deepening the kiss. He felt her nails bite into his shoulders, and she pushed him back gently.
“Jasper,” she gasped when he pulled back reluctantly.
“I have always wanted to do that,” he whispered against her lips. They were swollen now. “Sawyer…”
“I liked that but… I’m sorry,” she whispered back. He narrowed his eyes on hers at the guilt that laced those words. “I can’t. Between you and Zander and… shit.”
“And Elijah?” Jasper pried, knowing where this was going. He’d seen those two flirt with each other now, more times than he could count. It made him jealous as hell in ways he never felt when it was her and Zander. She always was a bit of a wild spirit. He could totally see her falling into Elijah’s bed without thinking about the consequences. Hell, it was what got her caught. “We’ll deal with this after Axel.”
“Good idea,” she mumbled. “I am sorry, Jasper. I don’t know where my head is at; I can only imagine how twisted this is for you.”
“We’ve got a lot of unresolved shit,” Jasper sighed, leaning against the Range Rover.
“Yeah.” He watched her bite her bottom lip. “I didn’t realize how much. Sorry for being a bitch.”
“I needed you to be a bitch about it, or I never would have told you.” He chuckled, feeling a little lighter.
“Anything else you want to talk about?” she asked
him quietly.
He stopped chuckling as the weight immediately dropped back on his chest. He couldn’t tell her that he knew about her nightmares. She would think he was violating her privacy, and he didn’t want her to think he was prying into her mind.
“No.” He gave her a weak smile. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
“Maybe we should just head back,” Sawyer mumbled. “I need some time to myself.”
That hurt, but he knew better than to think she would still want to hang out after he kissed her. He shouldn’t have done that, but he didn’t regret it either. And she had liked it.
“Yeah,” he said, walking to the driver’s side. He watched her get in silently, and didn’t miss the way she touched her lips while they rode home. He wanted to do it again, and that was a feeling he was more than okay with.
He watched her disappear into the house when they got back and leaned back in his seat. He felt better from having spoken to her. He just needed to figure out what to do about her nightmares without her figuring out that he knew about them. He also needed to apologize to Zander. Jasper had been an ass and he knew it.
He readjusted his pants and slid out of the Range Rover out, heading for his office. He thought the hard on would pass on the drive home, but that hadn’t happened.
“Zander.” Jasper pushed into the office, and he groaned at Zander who was nearly nude for some reason. “Why are you wearing less clothing now than earlier?”
“The AC broke in here and it’s fucking hot,” Zander growled. “You’ll be just like me in about ten minutes, I promise.” Jasper closed the office door and sighed. It was hotter than sin in the office.
“I’ll tell Elijah later,” Jasper said as he walked to his seat. He stripped his shirt off as he went, throwing it on the back of his chair. “I did something really fucking stupid.”
“Oh?” Zander was suddenly curious, and Jasper nodded.
“I kissed Sawyer,” Jasper informed him, hoping he didn’t piss off his best friend. The response wasn’t the one expected.
“Fucking finally,” Zander laughed. “Thank god.”
“What?” Jasper frowned at the redhead.
“Golden boy,” Zander continued to laugh as he tried to talk. “Oh, golden boy.”
“I hate that nickname,” Jasper reminded him. It came from his blonde hair, but Zander also used it because Jasper was the good one of the group. He didn’t break the rules, he didn’t sleep with random women, none of the stuff his teammates had a good time doing. Hell, he didn’t drink.
“Too bad,” Zander chuckled, falling back into his chair. He kicked his feet up on his desk and grinned at Jasper. “You going to kiss her again?”
“What the fuck?” Jasper was confused as hell.
“No,” Zander looked away as he spoke. “You’ll probably want to wait until the Axel stuff is taken care of. It’s the best idea, really.”
Jasper suddenly figured it out.
“We were dumb teenagers when we made that plan, Zander.”
“Could still work now.” Zander shrugged. Jasper didn’t like the devilish smirk that curved across that handsome face. Zander, in that moment, looked every bit the playboy he was known for being. “I’ll do the heavy lifting, promise.” He winked at Jasper.
Jasper looked to the ceiling and prayed to the gods for mercy. Zander was going to get him killed.
“Oh shit, one more thing happened while you were out.” Zander sat up straight. “Vincent let me know that Jon escalated his complaint about us yesterday. We might get stuck in mediation with his team.
“For fuck’s sake,” Jasper sighed. “Why can’t he let this go?”
“Because he’s jealous that Vincent gets special treatment from the higher ups. He hates that a young team like ours gets kept on an assignment like catching Axel.” Zander grabbed a thin file and showed it to Jasper. “He also had his team look into us and Sawyer, so they’re looking into our personal relationship with her and trying to make sure we aren’t using our jobs to protect her from justice as a criminal. Shielding her from repercussions.”
“Of course,” Jasper groaned. They were doing exactly that. “What’s Vin say on it?”
“He wants us to step back from her, so they don’t think we’re favoring her in anyway. We need to treat her like any other protectee. Maybe kissing her is a bad idea…” Zander looked thoughtful for a moment, and Jasper glared.
“Kissing her is a bad idea, no matter the circumstances, right now.”
“Says the guy who’s kissed her.” Zander sent a grin to Jasper.
Jasper didn’t have anything to say to that.
19
SAWYER
Damn. Damn it all to hell. Sawyer was so mad at herself. Of all the guys she locked lips with, it was Jasper. Just when she didn’t need another layer of confusion, she had to let those feelings get stirred up.
It was a fantastic kiss, though.
“I’m so stupid,” she mumbled. She knew what he’d been doing when he pulled her close. She couldn’t be kissing a guy like that when she was also living with him. And lying to him. Lying through her teeth, every damn day, about all of it.
Does Sawyer know anything about Axel? No, she would tell them. She had ‘no idea’ why he wanted her dead. Every time she said it in some bid to protect herself from their condemnation, she felt the guilt eat away at her. It was bad enough when she could pretend her feelings for Jasper and Zander were platonic. Now, Jasper had to go and reawaken the rest: ones she never got over, but instead had buried away. She was crushing on Elijah something fierce, and she blatantly ignored the awkward sexual tension between her and Vincent during training. She wasn’t touching that situation with a ten-foot pole.
There was no ‘after Axel’ for her.
A knock on her door startled her out of her thoughts. She’d been pacing around the room, lost in her anger at herself and not paying attention. Normally she heard someone coming up the stairs…
“Come in,” she called. The door still didn’t have a lock, and that was still a problem. She found Shade and Scout in her room every couple of days, just covering all of her stuff in their fur.
“It’s me.” Vincent stuck his head in the room. “We need to talk about something. Come to my office?”
“Yeah, I’ll be right down.” She nodded and watched him leave. Her body betrayed her at the mere sight of him now. Any of them really. She hadn’t gotten laid in months and was now locked in a house with five sexy men. She still wanted to dislike Vincent. He was still controlling, intelligent, and a bit manipulative. He was gorgeous and did terrible things to her libido though.
She gave it ten minutes before heading down into his office on the first floor. She met his dark green eyes as she entered the room. Those eyes were stunning in his face. Maybe she just really liked Italians, no matter what Axel had done to her.
“Have a seat,” he told her quietly, gesturing to a seat on the other side of his chess set. She had eyed it several times since she was forcibly moved into their home, but hadn’t played yet.
She was decent at the game, but not great. It helped her learn to plan ahead and make strategies. It was game for those who knew how to get into their opponents’ heads.
“You play a lot?” she asked, sitting down slowly. She was on the white side. She was always black side when playing before, so this was a new experience for her.
“I do.” Vincent was focused on the board, and she was starting to wonder why he wanted to see her. It couldn’t just be for a chess match. “You?”
“I was taught a long time ago,” she said, toying with the pawn she knew she wanted to move. She pushed it up to d4 and Vincent gave a small smile.
“Really?” Vincent gave a soft chuckle. He pushed up his d-pawn into d5.
“I don’t play white side, but I do know the Queen’s Gambit.” She smiled at him.
“I should have expected it from you.” He met her eyes as he said it. She moved her c-pawn to c4, completing
the opening. Now it was his turn to accept the gambit or not. “Choices, choices,” he mumbled. He took her c-pawn with his d-pawn and accepted.
The game was on.
“Who taught you how to play?” he asked as they continued to play slowly.
“My ex,” she whispered, thoughtful over her next move. “You?”
“My older brother,” he told her. “He always played white side. He liked having the first move, as older brothers normally do.”
“My ex normally played white side, as well,” she sighed. “I wonder what would happen if we introduced them.”
“My brother would find a way to get his side of the table.” Vincent moved another piece, but she wasn’t paying attention. She watched the way his eyes lit up when he stumbled on the opening she had left.
“I don’t know.” She shook her head and completed her move, letting him fall into the trap she’d set. His eyes narrowed on her. Axel had used the same trap on her multiple times. “Check.”
“I haven’t seen…” He trailed off, staring at the board. He blinked a few times, and she watched his face. It was stupid of her to use the trap, but she wanted to see how well he knew Axel. She wanted to test his intelligence. She wanted to know if he was as smart as he thought he was. “Huh.”
She was a little irked when he correctly got out of check and backed her into a corner through the next two turns.
“Check,” he whispered.
“Wasn’t there something you wanted to talk to me about?” she finally asked, knowing that it going to be check mate for her in two more turns.
“Yes.” He looked up from the board. “Sorry. Only Jasper normally plays with me, and he isn’t as good as you.”
“That surprises me,” Sawyer chuckled. “What’s going on?”
“In about a week, we’re going to be needed in Atlanta for a meeting with Jon’s team. He’s discovered your prior friendship with Jasper and Zander. He’s using it to get back at the team for some nonsense. I wanted to give you a heads up, so you can remain on your best behavior. You’ll have to come with us.”
The Redemption Saga Box Set Page 21