The meeting continued without much more issue. He figured it was because of his rank. It was obvious he was there to keep his team in charge and alive. If they were too busy planning, maybe they wouldn’t try to go out into the field. He gave them more weight. If one person tried to scoff at a change she wanted, he would order it to be done anyway. And there was no arguing with James, the old friend and teammate of Director Thompson. No one was that stupid, not in the IMPO. The WMC and the IMAS, certainly, but not in their home organization.
As people began sending out the orders and plans, others started to wander out, looking for places to sleep.
“You can all come to my condo,” James offered as they were left alone. “I know you all need sleep. I have a few couches and a spare bedroom.”
“Seriously?” Zander perked up immediately. He felt for the reckless redhead. He wasn’t much of a planner, and the day must have been wearing on him.
“Yes. Let’s find Vincent and Jasper, then you can all come with me. I’m only two blocks from the headquarters, and I’m actually in a good halfway point between here and one of the safe houses. It should work out.”
“And the animals?” Quinn asked, pointing to the zoo following the team. A jaguar and two wolves. He knew Vincent probably was already letting Kaar figure himself out but the collared big predators needed a place to stay and bunker down.
“My building has a rooftop garden for Magi animal bonds.”
“Then it’s acceptable.” Quinn’s ice blue eyes were tired, more tired than James had known the feral Magi was capable of.
“I just sent Vin a message that you offered us your place. He says he and Jasper will be right out.” Zander sat back down, kicking his feet up. “Today sucked.”
“It’s only going to get worse,” she whispered, not looking at any of them, her eyes glued to the blueprints in front of her.
James felt a chill run down his spine. Something about her, in this sort of situation, made him wonder how the entire team was into her. She was downright terrifying. In that moment, the only emotion he got from her was a cold pleasure. While her face gave none of it away, nor did her posture, something pleased her.
Something wasn’t just pleased, it was excited. He hadn’t gotten that from her before the Amazon mission.
What was she so happy about?
“Let’s get out there and meet the guys,” he said quietly, breaking his gaze off her. That feeling from her was going to stick with him for a long time, that much was certain. It worried and concerned him. Why was she happy? Excited?
It made no sense.
He walked out of the room, the rest of them following in silence. She was last, her mood not shifting, but none of the rest of the team seemed concerned in any way over it. Quinn was annoyed and uncomfortable from being in the city, a general feeling that always happened when he saw the feral Magi in a crowded place. Elijah was worried, probably over the mission. Zander was feeling down, weighted, something James was picking up from many of the agents in the building when he reached out to check the general mood.
“Hey!” Jasper called. “Thanks, James, for the place to stay. I hear the hotel is taking in a lot of us, but I was hoping we wouldn’t get shuffled in with the rest.”
“No, I wasn’t going to let that happen. The hotel might be more comfortable than my condo, but it would also expose you all to the madhouse. I think my condo is better for Sawyer as well. The hotel isn’t secure enough, in my opinion.”
“Thanks for looking out for me,” she said quietly from behind him. “Means a lot.”
“Of course.” He grinned back at her, but wasn’t feeling it. He remembered a time when his grins were genuinely happy and his jokes were more than just a cover. With her, they always had to be. Even the time he met her and didn’t know who she was, he’d been uncomfortable with the emotions flowing through her.
He was too old to be so happy, but he knew it was reassuring to such a dark group of people like Vincent’s team. Even though ones like Jasper and Zander seemed normal, he knew better. Like calls to like. Vincent had found men for his team who had at least a little darkness that echoed his own, even if he did it unconsciously.
“Let’s go. Elijah, Vincent, you both know where I live. You can drive there with a couple of rentals I’ve secured. I got them while you were getting ready for pick up.” He worked too damn much. “You can take the animals in the SUV. Sawyer, I want you to ride with me.”
The idea made him uncomfortable, but there were still things he needed to talk to her about. Things he was being asked to keep secret for them. And he wanted to make sure the newest addition to his team wasn’t going to be the thing that ruined it.
“Sure?” She frowned at him and her confusion washed over him. He pushed it away, locking out his empathy. He was tired of being bombarded by the emotions of others for the day. It was a neat trick he’d learned as an agent, the ability to separate from his empathy, which always wanted to be on. He’d basically learned to ignore it.
They walked down quietly to the parking garage. Vincent told them that he and Jasper would give them a brief back at the condo. Good. He wanted to know exactly what they were up to. He’d never seen his team truly in action, so his curiosity was also very much invested in this entire situation.
He tried to keep it like that. A situation. He couldn’t get caught up in thinking about it. His government had been attacked. His team had been attacked, but as an agent, he had to remain focused. This was just another case.
He hoped they were all remembering that lesson as well. He’d made sure, during their training, to teach it to them. A case is a case. An agent had to be able to step back and look at something objectively, with no emotions clouding their decisions.
He got Sawyer’s door for her and closed her in.
“Are you going to interrogate her about…what’s going on between us?”
He looked over his car at Vincent, staring at him from the SUV. He nodded once before getting into his car.
“Be kind to her, James. Don’t give her a reason not to trust you.”
“Vincent is telling me to make sure I don’t make you distrust me,” James said, turning his car on. He looked back to make sure no one was in his way then pulled out. “Personally, I think it’s the other way around right now, Sawyer.”
“I was told you know, so let’s cut to the chase. Am I sleeping with them? Yes. Am I using them? No.” She sounded so sure of it.
He didn’t say anything else until they were on the road. “We don’t have much time for this, so I’m also going to get this said quickly. Do not lie to me. I don’t want…details, but I need to know…”
“I love them,” she whispered, looking forward still.
And he stopped ignoring his empathy and was hit with the full force of those words. He saw tears come to her eyes and knew they were honest.
“They are everything to me. My family, my friends, my lovers. There’s…problems, sure. Elijah and I have things we need to work out, but I’m beginning to see where I want him, where he fits.” She tapped her chest. “He once told me I give away pieces of my heart like Halloween candy. He’s not wrong. I do. I just never expect to get a piece back from someone.”
“And they gave you pieces back.”
“They did.” She looked at him and smiled. “I’ve been so lonely, James, that now I’m greedy. And I won’t apologize to you for that. I loved Zander and Jasper my entire life, and I’m finally experiencing that. And gods, don’t I know what the reaction would be if the world found out I was sleeping with Vincent Castello? But he and I understand each other so well. And I fought that one. I fought him. He’s fucking Axel’s brother.” She took a deep breath and he just felt the love and pain fill her chest. The hurt of being so in love that it couldn’t stay contained. And some sadness he couldn’t place.
“What about Quinn and Elijah? How did you really end up with five people? And are you sure it’s love? Can you even…do that?” He was curiou
s, but now he didn’t think it was a ploy. He just thought it was outside the realm of his experience.
“I don’t know when I fell for Quinn,” she admitted to him like it was a secret. “One day I was scared of him and the next I was seeing this totally different side of him. He couldn’t read and that…I could relate to that. I took care of kids, you know? I…taught Henry how to read.” She choked over those words. “And then when they were saying he was going to go on a fucking suicide mission…I couldn’t let that happen. And if that meant risking all our lives, then that was how it was going to be.”
“I know he has his GED now. Thank you for helping him.”
“He’s very intelligent - he just needed a different approach than the guys were trying. Plus, they let him push them around, and I don’t blame them for that. I didn’t let him push me around and that made a difference.”
“And you have things to work out with Elijah.”
“I love that dumb cowboy, I do, but I don’t know if it’s…on the same level as my love for the others. He’s a great man and a good friend.” She smiled, looking out of the car. He tried to ignore the sickening, to him, sexual pleasure from her. He didn’t need that. Something about whatever she was thinking of made her feel very happy.
He felt like an old pervert. He couldn’t look at this girl like that. Sure, she was in her mid-twenties, but he was way too old for that, no matter what. He shut his empathy back down.
“But he loves me and I know it. He’s been an ass because he was avoiding his feelings, thanks to his past. But we’re working on it. I can say I don’t see a life without him and right now, that’s what we’re going with.”
“Shit, I missed my turn,” he muttered. “To my own damn house. I make this drive every day.”
“Didn’t do it on purpose?” she asked, giving him a look.
“No, actually I didn’t. I have empathy. I know you aren’t lying to me based on the strength of your emotions. I just needed you alone to make sure I wasn’t being clouded.”
“Ah…”
“I already knew Zander was in love with you. I knew the others held strong feelings, but only whispers. I didn’t know how you felt, and I didn’t know you were…with all of them. Don’t ask me to begin to understand that. As a man, I can’t comprehend it, but I’ll let it go.” He turned down a side street, cranky over the traffic he was having to deal with for even longer. His short drive was already bad enough thanks to New York. “Look, I don’t…care. I just had to make sure we weren’t all being played by you. I’m not around you guys as much as I would like to be, to watch this all and see how it works, just you being on the team, so I have to be nosy when I get the chance.”
“I get it.” She shrugged. He could feel some small amount of hurt from her, knowing that he couldn’t one hundred percent trust her, and he hoped to make that up as time went on.
“I look at them as sons, as younger brothers. I used to be in their shoes. They are my priority, and in turn you are, as a member of the team. I’m sorry.”
“I get it, James.”
“How are you, otherwise?” he asked softly, deciding to use this extra time to dig about something else.
“I’m fine. This is a big thing but I’m not-”
“Not this. How are you about December? Henry?” Vincent had let him know, and now he was going to do his job for her. He needed to know she was okay.
Silence greeted him for nearly a block. When he was turning onto his street, she finally opened her mouth. “I’m distracted from it, and that’s all I can ask for. It’s always there, in the back of my mind, asking me to think about him, asking me to remember how I screwed up, how I failed him. The best I can be is distracted enough to not give in to seeing how he connects to everything. And I mean everything. Everything leads back to a little boy who looked like his father and uncle.” Her voice got shaky at the end. “I miss him, but there’s no bringing him back, so I just need to be strong and stay distracted. In January, I can let myself think of him, but not this month.”
“Okay. You tell me if you need a day, though. You tell me if there’s anything I can do.” He meant it. Every word.
“Jasper is getting me scheduled with a therapist, to finally get to the root of it and find some peace. Maybe in time, I’ll be normal, living a semi-normal life.”
“Good. I’m glad these guys are looking out for you too. And…I’m glad you look out for them. I know you do. You all work well together.”
He meant actual work, but the more he considered it, the more he realized he meant their relationship as well. Broken souls, hurt people, all coming together to find something that works for them. He honestly couldn’t find a way to begrudge them that.
He pulled into his parking garage and parked. He saw Elijah and Vincent had both beaten him here with the rest of them, waiting at the elevator across the concrete.
“I hate parking garages,” she muttered.
“Why?” he asked.
“They tend to go boom.”
He couldn’t disagree with that, and they were living in dangerous times.
18
Sawyer
The night at James’ house had been blissfully peaceful in a world that felt like it was falling apart. They had made a large meal in his kitchen, talked to their handler about their relationship, explained some of the nuances so he understood better, then watched a movie before everyone passed out.
James had made one thing clear before they all passed out, though. No ‘hanky panky’ in his condo. Sawyer was given the bedroom alone.
The next morning, she was getting ready when Vincent walked in. “I avoided giving a briefing last night because I thought we all needed a break, but I’m going to tell you now that right now it looks like the IMPO is run by a bunch of idiots.”
“Oh, yeah. I could have told you that,” she replied, pulling on her shirt. She’d already showered and just needed to get dressed, and he wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know.
“Funny. The team they put together to investigate who hired the Triad is useless. They are looking externally and none will even begin to acknowledge there might be an internal threat. When I brought up the exposing of our home’s location, they all glared at me, like it would change anything. They think someone leaked it to a criminal, or maybe just was careless enough to let it get out. They aren’t taking it seriously.”
“What’s on the agenda for today?” she asked. “Other than you dealing with idiots. That just means you and Jasper need to work on your own, and work well. We’re counting on you.”
“The WMC members that are alive are arriving at their safe houses. You should know that.”
“I probably already did, but I want you to tell me, fearless leader.” She was trying so hard to keep the mood light, hoping it would make this all easier. But in the back of her mind, she was so excited for this to get painful and rough. She was perversely ready for the Triad to try again, and she was keeping her plans close to her chest.
He stepped closer to her, rubbing his hand over her hip and pushing her shirt back up to expose skin he could touch. “You hate when people tell you what to do.”
“Maybe we’re both gluttons for punishment,” she whispered. She’d once called him one. She kissed him slowly. James hadn’t said no to that, and she’d made a point to use that loophole. She kissed all of them the night before, even Elijah, who seemed surprised. She had to use her time wisely, so when she could steal a moment to remind them that she owned them, she did.
She was pulled in so many directions, but only five really mattered to her. Six if she included the current situation looming over New York and their people.
“No hanky panky. We promised,” he murmured against her lips.
“Then stop standing in there kissing and get out for breakfast,” James snapped as he walked by the guest bedroom.
“Wow, he really is like a dad,” she muttered, glaring at the door.
Vincent chuckled. “The l
ess he sees, the easier it is for him to lie.”
“I would rather him just go back to not knowing.”
“Too late for that.”
She huffed in some small frustration and went out into the living room. She leaned down to scratch Sombra.
“I know you won’t like it, but you have to stay here, girl. I don’t want you getting hurt in all of this.”
She adamantly disagreed. It hit Sawyer like a punch to the gut.
“Please. I can’t have you getting hurt, and there’s going to be so many people. If things happen, bullets will fly and you can get shot on accident. I’m sorry.”
“I’m doing the same to the wolves,” Quinn called out from the living room. “She’ll have company.”
Sombra just didn’t want Sawyer out there alone. She also hated the metal building she kept being stuck in. She hadn’t liked them the first time she had to go through New York either.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again. She just couldn’t have Sombra in danger, not during this. “I’ve already lost you once.”
Images of a little black cat went through her mind. An understanding bloomed in the jaguar. She still wasn’t happy, but she understood that Sawyer’s fear would not be appeased, no matter how strong the new form was.
It amazed Sawyer that her jaguar knew she was once Midnight, but had no memory of it. The abuse, the pain that Axel tortured her with. Small blessings, in her mind, that her jaguar didn’t know what her previous form had been through all because of her.
“Thank you.” She straightened up and looked over the team. “I heard James snapping about breakfast?”
“I could go for something to eat,” Elijah teased, his eyes heated for a moment. The hazel eyes moved down her body and looked directly at the spot she knew he wanted his ‘breakfast’ from. She could have gone for that, grinning at him.
“No.” James growled it out, pointing a spoon at the cowboy. “None of those types of jokes either.”
“Roger that,” Elijah said, chuckling. He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes. Zander and Jasper were chuckling as well as they found seats at James’ dining table.
The Redemption Saga Box Set Page 120