Jasper stepped closer to her and she eyed him. “We told Vincent and Elijah. They understand.”
“Oh, not right now, please,” she snapped, walking away from him. He winced at the tone of her voice. He should have known better, but he also wanted her to know as soon as he could tell her. If the other guys weren’t hurt, then she might let go of her anger sooner.
“Maybe you should corner her when we make it to the next hotel,” Elijah suggested. “Just…uh…be ready to protect yourself.”
“She wouldn’t hurt me,” he growled at the cowboy. Mask or not, Sawyer wouldn’t hurt him or Zander. He knew that. He trusted her with his life. “She’s just mad, but…”
“You should be focused on Axel, not what comes after him,” Elijah reminded him.
“She and Vincent are focused enough on Axel for the rest of us.” Jasper resisted rolling his eyes. He had never done that to anyone and didn’t want to start. “Plus, I’ve done really well not touching on my feelings about him, and I don’t want to start.”
“Ah, covering it all?” Elijah asked, shoving Alfie to another agent to take away. “So you aren’t feeling the boiling rage that we’re going after the man that brutalized her? Or made Vincent’s life hell before we met him?”
Jasper clenched his jaw. Oh, of course he felt it. Of course he wanted blood and gore from Axel, for all of that and more. For every stain he left on their life. Every haunted, twisted, awful nightmare she had marked Jasper with. He wanted retribution for all of it.
“If I give in to that, Elijah, I’ll never be allowed to look myself in the mirror ever again,” he whispered harshly, looking away from the cowboy. He realized they were alone now. Sawyer was off doing something. Vincent was talking to other agents. He knew Quinn was still in the hills, taking down anyone trying to run, because there were always runners. Zander was helping any prisoners of Alfie’s. His team was doing what they always did.
Elijah hummed for a moment before stepping back in front of him. “Is it that bad?” he asked softly.
“Our government has sent out an assassin to kill her creator. Our military tried to get all of us killed through ignorance and stupidity in the Amazon. Our organization had someone in it willing to kill you and Sawyer, not to mention a lot of other people, to install a new regime in place of the WMC.” The anger built up in him. His faith in everyone was shattered, completely gone, not even the smallest thing remained. “The only thing I have any sort of respect for anymore is this team, Elijah. And we’re going after the man who has made hell on earth for some of our family. Those two bear the scars from him. Fuck, Sawyer now also bears the scars of what our side has done to her.” Jasper took a deep breath, trying to contain it. “That bad? It’s so much worse.” Jasper stepped around the cowboy and headed back for their SUV.
He had to get out of the IMPO before it broke him. Before all of this broke him and took away everything he loved, not just about others, but about himself. He needed Sawyer to understand that he was absolutely okay with this mission, and that was part of the problem. He wanted her to kill Axel and cut him open. He wanted her to kill him in every nightmare and then kill him in the real world. He wanted her to run over to the WMC and tell them to shove it.
He didn’t feel good, and that was exactly the issue. He couldn’t live like this. They would deal with Axel, and then he had to get out before it completely ruined him, if this job hadn’t already.
He leaned against the hood, trying to push it all down. As grief faded from James’ death, he was being consumed by this. He hadn’t even told Zander the whole of it. The whole of everything going on in his head and the feelings in his heart. He wasn’t willing to admit out loud that he was okay with them going out and killing a man. He deserved it, Axel Castello.
But Jasper felt sick that he was fine being an executioner. He wasn’t fine with being fine. He wanted to hide behind his shield. All the things his parents taught him, everything he had left of them. The world’s a good place, they would always say to him. Their people were good people. Their government loved them and Magi around the world could rely on them.
Now Jasper felt like it was all a lie and he couldn’t handle it. He needed to tell Sawyer all of this. She would understand if he just explained all of it.
Not knowing how long he stayed there, he jumped when someone touched his shoulder. Looking up, he found a concerned Zander.
“Hey, man…” Zander murmured, rubbing his back gently.
“How were the prisoners?” he asked, needing something else to think about.
“Good. Or they will be. You don’t want to hear about all of that. We’re going to load up soon, I think.”
“Great.” Jasper shoved his hands in his pockets, nodding. Sure enough, they got word as soon as Vincent’s voice echoed in their heads.
“We’re leaving. Travis is waiting for us at the hotel to portal us to the next location. Plus I still need to get on a secure line and find out how the other raids went.”
Jasper didn’t wait. He jumped into the SUV and turned it on. Zander jumped into the passenger’s seat. Elijah didn’t come back to their ride, leaving Sawyer and Vincent with them.
“He’s going out to get Quinn and the animals to meet us,” Vincent explained.
“Sombra is having too much fun tormenting one guy. Quinn should be stopping her and securing him soon,” Sawyer added.
“What is she doing?” Zander sounded a little more excited than he should. Jasper caught a grin out of the corner of his eye.
“Just chasing him around, terrorizing him. You know her. She loves a good game. I’ve told her to just take him down, but she knows he’s the last one.” Sawyer was chuckling now. Jasper looked into the rearview mirror and caught her removing her mask. He watched it move off her face like a smoky ink and become the emotionless, porcelain-looking mask he’d seen before.
“That was cool,” Zander commented. “Can I try?”
“No,” she answered, chuckling. Jasper turned to see out the back window as he backed out. He caught a glimpse of her running her fingers over the mask. “It takes sublimation to use and practice to make sure it doesn’t kill you.”
“Well, damn,” Zander mumbled petulantly. “It’s hot, I’ll give you that.”
Jasper could barely restrain a cough of shock. Vincent raised an eyebrow. Jasper swiftly moved them out of the other agents’ way and got them moving. He didn’t want to touch that statement with a ten foot pole.
They made it back to the hotel in record time and Vincent disappeared to talk to the other teams. Elijah and Quinn were there only minutes later and Travis shuffled and tried to get comfortable, waiting on the team to give him the go ahead for the next portal.
“You doing all right, Travis?” Sawyer asked. She must have noticed he wasn’t totally comfortable.
“Too many portals. You know, it gets exhausting. I’m just hoping I can make all of them. I don’t want to have to pass this off to another Magi.” Travis smiled. “Seriously, that’s all. I’ve been the Magi for your portals for a long time, Sawyer. I don’t want that to change.”
“I’ll be stranded before I take someone else’s portal,” she promised softly.
Vincent was back only moments later. “We’re good, and they’re moving now to the next locations. Everything hit perfectly. We’ve got Alfie, Janie, and Martinez in custody.”
“Who’s next?” Elijah asked from his spot, leaning on a wall.
“We’re going after Leonard. Fergus and his team are going to get Gerald. Travis?”
“I’m on it!” Travis jumped up and the magic began.
One raid down. One night to sleep, then another. Jasper knew this was going to be a gauntlet.
16
Sawyer
Sawyer found herself in another quickly-booked, cheap hotel, rooming with the same two men and Sombra, who was already curling up for a cat nap in the corner. She still didn’t know how to feel about them, so she stayed focused on the mission. Leonard, l
iving in the Congo and selling arms to any backwoods dictator that wanted them. He made Axel a fuck-ton of money. That prick, of course he would set himself up to take over for Karen and Missy when they were out. What had Sawyer said about that group once? The best of the best at being the absolute worst.
He’d found some to match up to the old ones.
Axel sure knew how to pick them.
“Sawyer, are you going to sleep today?” Zander asked, shouldering her as he stopped to drop his bag.
“What time is it?” she asked. She didn’t have a watch or see a working clock in the room.
“Already five in the morning. We need to hunker down and then get to work tonight.”
“This is going to run the fucking team ragged,” Jasper muttered, shaking his head as he tossed his things on the other bed.
“It’s what we have to do,” she reminded him.
“I know. I’ll be in the shower.” Jasper stormed out. The room practically shook with how hard he slammed the bathroom door. Sawyer didn’t know how to react to any of that.
Zander was innocently stripping and laid down on the bed, as if it never happened. “Come on. We can watch a movie while we all take turns getting clean.”
She sighed. So fucking normal in the middle of one of the most important weeks of her life.
“Yeah, we can watch a movie,” she agreed, pulling off her sweaty work clothes. She didn’t like the idea of getting in bed like this, but Jasper had just claimed the shower first and she wanted off her feet. In her sports bra and black cotton underwear, she spread out next to Zander but didn’t touch him.
He flipped a movie on and threw an arm over her shoulder. As the movie got started, she relaxed in a way she hadn’t for days, begrudgingly admitting to herself that Zander was right there with her. They weren’t leaving her…yet.
He must have noticed her jaw clench or heard her teeth grind. “Calm down, Sawyer. I’m right here.”
“You won’t be for long,” she reminded him.
“Please stop pushing me. I don’t want this to be a fight. Of all the things, not this.” He leaned closer, kissing her neck. She tried to pull away as his long, lean body pressed against her side. “We’re leaving the IMPO. We’re not leaving you.”
“You’re leaving the team,” she repeated.
“After this case. But we’re not leaving you.”
She didn’t see the distinction. To leave the IMPO was to leave her. She was bound to them. She was their fucking predator. It was her life. This case…
“And she finally stopped to think about it,” Zander murmured, figuring that’s what her silence was about. He kept kissing her neck. “Sawyer, after this case, you don’t need to stay with the IMPO either. They’ll pardon you. They’ll have to, if they don’t want us taking this all public. And I will. If they play you again, I’m letting the world know everything and you’ll be free anyway. We’re leaving the IMPO, not you, because you’ll be able to come with us.”
She was somewhat speechless. Was that really their plan?
“What about the other guys?” she finally asked. She would never leave any of them. She couldn’t. That wasn’t an option. She was too happy with this, the team. She couldn’t toss aside Quinn and Elijah for Zander and Jasper or the other way around. And then there was Vincent. They had so much together, all of them. They had been through so much. Leaving them wasn’t an option.
“We’ll stay with them no matter what any of us choose. We talked to Vincent and Elijah. We’ll find places to help them or do what we want. We’re not going to break this up, promise.” That eased some of her fears immediately. Zander’s face was open and honest, telling her he couldn’t lie. “And you can do whatever you want, Sawyer. Anything you want.”
“I’m not sure what I want after this,” she admitted. “The IMPO at least knows how to use my skills. Where else would I go?”
“We’ll think about it when we get there,” he promised.
“Why couldn’t you just fight with me like I wanted?” She had been hoping for yelling and screaming so she could tell them again how she hated the idea of them leaving. Then Zander decided to play her with some logic. Damn him.
“Because I’m learning when not to get pissy with you. Plus, this is more serious than a screaming match. This is just the way it is. Jasper and I are leaving the IMPO, and an argument between you and me? I guess it feels like that cheapens the discussion.”
She swallowed a lump in her throat, choking on her emotion. Good gods, he was different. He was moving faster than her, faster than she was ready for, that was certain. And when he looked up, there was such an honest love in his green eyes that she knew he wouldn’t leave her.
“I’m sorry I freaked,” she mumbled. He gave a satisfied chuckle, leaning in to kiss her. She sank back instinctively and he took that as the opportunity to crawl over her. She made him work for it, dodging his attempts until he finally caught her in a kiss that sent all sorts of signals to her mind, heart, and body. She pushed him away, realizing where this was going to go. “We can’t. Jasper could walk in.”
“I don’t particularly care,” he whispered, kissing her again. “And neither should you.”
She glanced at the bathroom door then back into green eyes. “How fast can we do this?” she asked with a small smile. She needed it. She wanted to touch him and remind herself that he wasn’t going to leave her, not ever. He belonged to her and he wasn’t going to walk away, not from her. “You really mean all this, don’t you?”
“Every fucking word, Sawyer. You can be anywhere, doing anything. As long as you come back and I have a piece of you. Just as long as you let me stay in your life.”
“Always,” she promised, touching his cheeks. She pulled him back down for another kiss. He groaned. She reached down and shoved his boxer briefs past his hips, freeing him for her. She ran a hand along the underside of his shaft. He was trying to push a hand under her sports bra to push it up.
They were still trying to finish getting naked when the shower cut off. They were naked when the door opened, completely oblivious to Jasper walking out.
“Are you two fucking serious?” he asked.
Sawyer felt like she jumped out of her skin for a moment.
“Ignore us,” Zander said with a groan. He kept kissing her neck, even after Sawyer stopped responding. She was caught staring at Jasper in the bathroom door, a towel hanging low on his waist.
And Jasper’s appearance did nothing to stop how much she loved what Zander was doing to her body as a hand slid over her ribs and belly to between her legs. Jasper’s eyes narrowed at the same location.
“Really?” he asked, a guttural sound. She could see his chest moving from how hard he was breathing. He was like a storm tied to a post, and the post was about break. Along with everything around him.
“Come on!” Zander finally stopped kissing her and looked back at his best friend. Sawyer didn’t say anything. “We’re caught up in some shit. We were trying to have a moment.”
“Yeah, I see that,” Jasper said, snapping like a rabid animal.
And Sawyer knew something was wrong. This wasn’t embarrassed Jasper. This was hurting Jasper.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly, pushing Zander away as she swung her legs off the bed. He groaned again, falling on his back. They all ignored the erection standing tall for everyone to see, and the redhead did nothing to cover it.
“We’re not leaving you,” Jasper muttered.
“Zander and I just talked, I’m sorry for-”
“I’m leaving the IMPO before I become an awful person like all of them. That’s why I need to get out, and you need to know that. I heard what you and Zander were talking about. I heard all of that.”
She stopped walking to her Golden Boy. Oh. Oh, that changed everything.
“I hate that they can send you to do their dirty work. They fucked this up. They should have done it months ago, and yet they gave him time to play his fucking games. I hate
that I want you to do it for everything he’s ever done to you and so many other people. I hate that I’m part of an execution squad and part of me is okay with that. It’s not my place to say who should live and die, and yet…” He touched his chest, trailing off. “I killed a man and I don’t feel a shred of guilt for it…I’m saving myself. Before I’m…one of them. All I have left of my parents is their sense of right, and I’m losing that, Sawyer. This job is taking it away from me and I just can’t do it anymore.”
She took one stumbling step at his admission. Her Golden Boy was broken. She saw the storm in his eyes, could feel it in his heart. This was his problem. This had been his problem since she had shown up. She knew it.
“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” she asked softly. “About how bad it was?” She knew he had tried and she had flipped out, but this seemed so much more than he let on. This was eating him alive.
“I was already feeling shitty about the IMPO and the WMC when we came to New York, I think, but James…The grief helped cover it up. Now we’re on this case and this is it. This is the last I can do, especially with the way I feel right now. I’m going to support you one hundred percent to finish this, but then I need to get out.” Jasper looked away from her.
She reached for him and pulled him into a kiss. “I love you,” she murmured against his lips. She felt selfish for her previous behavior. She hadn’t known just how deeply this was tearing her gorgeous man up. She should have. She should have realized how deeply this was affecting him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen when you first tried to tell me.”
He kissed her back, then pulled away. “I’ll go on a walk while you two-”
“Stay!” Zander ordered, sitting up. “We can…” She looked back at him, frowning. “I mean…Uh…”
“Oh.” She realized why his face was getting red. He was still hard. She knew Jasper was too, since he was hiding it from Zander with her now. “You want to try that?”
The Redemption Saga Box Set Page 148