“I hate you,” Vincent said, a smile breaking out on his face. A second later, he was chuckling as Elijah laughed. “I hate you so much.”
“Yeah, I know.” Elijah grinned. “Finish your smoke and meet me back in there. I’m going to check on Jasper.”
“Wait,” Vincent said quickly, stopping the cowboy. When Elijah looked back at him again, halfway in the door, Vincent let him go again. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“For teaching me what real brotherhood is. And for helping me find the brothers we have now.”
“It’s not hard,” Elijah whispered. “Brothers would do anything for each other, and you already knew that. You just needed to find the brothers who returned that.”
Vincent swallowed on that. Was that right? Had he always known that brothers should stick together and do anything they could for each other?
Yes. He had. He knew. It’s why he’d killed his father. Because brothers would do anything for each other.
It had just never been returned, and now it was.
And slowly, Vincent let go of Axel in his heart. He’d resisted and he’d lied about it, saying he was over his brother, but he’d never been honest. Somewhere, he was always just holding onto a little shred of love, hoping.
“Vin?” Elijah didn’t keep moving inside, just waiting there for more.
“I’m fine, you can go,” Vincent murmured, waving him along. “I might have another.” He waved his cigarette around before taking another drag. “I think I’ll quit after this.”
“Okay.” Elijah finally went inside, the door closing firmly so Vincent was alone again.
“It’s over, Axel,” he whispered, looking back out into the city. He felt that stupid need to say it out loud. “Every day, these guys have reminded me time and time again why you aren’t my family, but they are. It’s time I finally believe, since everything you’ve ever said to me has been a lie.”
All the promises. All the small things from his childhood he was constantly holding on to. Sawyer had said it once. He loved a boy, a brother that no longer existed. Axel Castello was not his brother. Antonio was, and Antonio was long gone.
“I’m coming for you. I’m going to catch you.” Vincent took a deep breath, leaning on the rail, talking to the wind as if his brother would hear the words. Kaar landed on the rail, bumping his head to Vincent’s arm. A rare wave of encouragement and support came from the raven. “And I’m going to kill you.”
23
Sawyer
Night was approaching and Sawyer began to worry. Quinn still wasn’t back from the woods. The wolves had come back hours before, curling up in Vincent’s office with her and Sombra.
But no sign of Quinn, and the wolves weren’t giving up anything. They barely even moved. When she put down dinner for the wolves, they had eaten but not moved. They didn’t go looking for their Magi at all.
“Sawyer?” Elijah called in. She had heard the other guys come home, but hadn’t moved to go see them, captivated and stuck with the sad wolves.
“What’s up?” she called back.
Elijah walked in after that, still wearing his thick winter coat. She didn’t know why he waited, since it was his office too. “He’s still out there, isn’t he?”
She could only nod, pointing down to the wolves. Sombra was staying with them, physically comforting the animals, who seemed forlorn and lost.
“Want to come get him with me?” Elijah held the door open wider, an invitation.
“Yeah, let’s go. It’s time.” She grabbed her jacket, swinging it on as she walked to Elijah and left the office. Sombra stayed behind to keep the wolves company.
“How long has he been out there?”
“The moment we got home, he took off. The wolves came back shortly before dinner. That was four hours ago, and they’ve been like that since. Elijah, what’s wrong?” She hadn’t wanted to ask about their argument, but if Elijah did anything to hurt Quinn, she didn’t know how she would deal with that.
“He and I argued about a lot of things,” Elijah explained softly as they walked through the new home. “I don’t like how he behaved on the last raid. I really didn’t like how he behaved in the hospital.”
“He’s an adult and you aren’t his father.” She felt insulted for Quinn.
“He’s feral,” Elijah murmured, turning to her. “Never forget, Sawyer, that Quinn mentally is an animal first, just because of how he was raised. He will always be feral. We’ve tamed and trained him, but he’ll always be feral.”
“What are you trying to say? That he can’t grow up and change? Become more human?” She felt more insulted. Did he think Quinn was stupid? No, not Elijah. She never would have thought he would behave this way.
“No, that’s not…” Elijah groaned as they walked out the back door. “His first instinct in any situation will be to act the way he had for his entire life before meeting the team. I didn’t like his behavior in the hospital and on the raid because he didn’t remember anything the team taught him.”
She stopped before stepping off the porch as Elijah kept walking. “What did I miss on the raid?” She had never thought to ask what really went down.
“He killed a lot of people, without even giving them a chance,” Elijah answered. “And not because they were enemies, but because he could. He could have as easily captured them all. Hell, Vincent finally reined him in and convinced him to do that instead. No, he lashed out and killed people…like he used to.”
She was beginning to see. Now she was understanding. “You think it’s…our fault? That he did that?”
“Yes and no.” Elijah held out a hand. She took it slowly. Not just her fault. Not just his. Not only Quinn’s. But everyone’s.
“Keep explaining,” she ordered, without any strength.
“I think the IMPO and the job we do is slowly twisting him. And that’s why I’m having you on this walk with me. The argument between Quinn and I ended with one thing. I’m leaving the IMPO and I’m taking him with me. He finds it a betrayal to the organization that gave him a place in our world. I told him that the IMPO, the WMC, the IMAS…they have already betrayed him. He knows it, but the IMPO gives him the ability to use his power without real repercussions.”
“He’s thinking like a human,” she realized softly. “Power. The ability to hurt people, to do as he pleases…for what he wants.”
“In his case, to protect us and others. And no, the IMPO will never stop him doing what he did the other night. But then again, they don’t have a moral high ground to stand on, even if they wanted to. Neither does the WMC.”
“And you yelled at him because you’re worried about him.”
“I’m worried about what this world could be like if it continues to twist Quinn from a strange and wonderful man who happens to be powerful into…a vicious, rabid man with all those human faults who uses his power to get what he wants.”
“He’s not evil,” she bit out, refusing to think Quinn would ever take that path.
“Neither are you, but you’ll still use that human power to do what you feel is needed. Sawyer, the difference is that you’re on our league, our level. If you fell, then others can stop you.”
“But even with good intentions, Quinn could do serious damage and no one could stop him.”
“Exactly. So I’m taking him out of the IMPO, whether he likes it or not. He’s not happy, Sawyer. He deserves to be happy and have the time to live in this world without being consumed by it. And what if someone tries to use him one day? What if someone threatens us and tries to blackmail him? Look at what happened to those guards who killed Missy. They were good men, and look what happened to them and what they did for the people they love.”
“What would he do?”
“I don’t care, as long as it’s not this. As long as he’s not constantly exposed to this evil and being used. As long as he remains…good.” Elijah shook his head sadly. “I shouldn’t have a right in this, but I can’t not protect him fr
om himself. I care too much to see him go down such a dark path thanks to the world we live in.”
“I understand and I’ll help you,” she promised. Now she really understood. She didn’t like it, but she understood. “We’ll make sure he’s always happy, Elijah.”
“I knew you would understand.”
“So this means I’ve lost four of you from the team, huh?”
“Yeah, but that’s all you’ll lose us from.” He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “Thank you for backing me up, little lady.”
“Let’s go get our wolf,” she murmured, pulling him close to kiss him properly.
Together, they made the first step into the woods. They didn’t know these new woods well yet, but she knew Quinn wouldn’t let her and Elijah get lost in them. They kept going deeper in, knowing only the general direction of where Quinn had decided to set up camp. Since it was after sunset, she couldn’t find the landmarks she had begun to use during the day. There were no worn trails yet on their new property, so it was harder to navigate.
“There he is,” Elijah whispered. She looked around, trying to see what he did. Elijah grabbed her jaw and pointed her gaze.
And there he was. Quinn in his wolf form, staring at them from the top of a large rock. The scene morphed into Quinn just sitting on the rock, wary and confused. “Why did you two come out?” he asked. “I wanted to be alone.”
“We’ve been worried,” Elijah answered. “Talk to us?”
“Okay.” Quinn jumped up and walked away.
Sawyer and Elijah hurried after him and two hundred yards away, they finally got to Quinn’s new camp. Quinn threw some logs onto a lit fire and Elijah obviously pushed some magic into the flame, making it catch better and grow bigger. Next, several rocks rose from the earth, big enough for people to sit on. Sawyer just took her own seat, waiting on the two guys to stop dancing around each other. They worked well in tandem. Elijah was always so comfortable in Quinn’s space where no one else was.
Finally, they settled and she was in the middle.
“What do you two want?” he asked, rubbing his hands close to the fire.
“You haven’t come inside yet,” she reminded him. “What’s wrong?”
“Been thinking about what you said,” he said, directing it around her to Elijah. “I spent the day out here to remind myself what makes me really happy, so I could remember the feeling of it again.”
“And you haven’t been happy?” She felt wounded. She’d thought he was happy with them.
“I’m never happy in human cities. I’m comfortable around people I know and care for, but I’m not truly happy. This place, while it’s not the land I had a month ago, makes me happy already. It feels like a place I am meant to be.” Quinn stood up again, pacing. “Elijah, you’re right. Every case has eaten me up a little bit. Every single one. I’m beginning to think like them. I’m more powerful than them. I could just kill them and no one could ever stop me.” A vicious growl erupted and shook Sawyer to her bones. “And that feels so wrong. Like the bitch in the Amazon. Like Axel. But out here, I feel normal again, and I’m happy, and I don’t…hurt people. I never wanted to really hurt people like this before…The job doesn’t make me happy. It never has. It was just something I could do, and it gave me a place that I would have never had otherwise in this world I know so little about.”
She didn’t know what else to do except jump up and pull him into a hug. She just held him as she realized the job had been rotting everyone on the team. Jasper, Zander, Quinn. She knew Vincent was a mess. She looked down at Elijah as she held Quinn. He wasn’t like the rest of them. He knew what needed to be done.
“It’s okay,” she whispered to her wolf. “It’s okay. You aren’t like them. You never have to be like them. You can stay out here forever. You’re better than all of them. You’re so much better.” She knew why Elijah didn’t want to see Quinn torn apart by the modern world he wasn’t raised in. He was so wonderful exactly the way he was, and he would lose all of it if he stayed in the mess. He was too good for all of it.
“I just want to protect you all,” he murmured, his head buried into her shoulder. “I can do that-”
“But at what cost, love?” she asked softly. “At what cost?”
Not a cost she was willing to let him bear, certainly. One she would bear. One she already carried. She could do it one more time, she was sure of it. Just one more time. For Quinn, for Zander and Jasper. For Vincent.
For the teary-eyed Elijah, who waited silently.
When she released Quinn, he went to the cowboy and the two big men embraced. She heard Quinn whisper an apology. Elijah offered one back. And she knew those two would be okay.
The emotions were running so high on the team, she knew these moments were bound to happen. She knew they were all shaken by their own experiences and issues. The case with Axel kept bringing it all to a head and she was tired.
She was so tired.
“What’s next?” Quinn asked. “I know Vincent sent me here to think, to get right again, but what’s the team’s next move?”
“Are you sure you want to keep going?” she asked, needing to know he would be okay.
“I won’t make the same mistakes,” he promised. “I lost control. Of my magic, of myself. While I was out here, I remembered all the reasons Elijah and Vincent wanted me to control everything, to hold back. Like Jasper in Atlanta. He wouldn’t have lost his leg if I hadn’t brought the building down.” She winced. She had asked him to do it. “I’m not going to risk any of you, and I’m not going to become them.” He pointed away, out into the world. “There’s better ways. I just have to always remember that. I needed today to remember that.”
He wasn’t going to become the monsters they kept running into and battling against.
“Tomorrow night is the third raid,” Elijah explained. “A replacement team is going. We’re going to review everything we know. Let’s hope we can find where he’s hiding and finish this.”
Sawyer nodded. That was all they had. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. She knew Vincent was back in the house, probably pouring over things she didn’t know yet. She knew Jasper was digging around photos of Axel lookalikes, hoping for one to be him. Zander was keeping Charlie occupied and safe in their home.
And now she and Elijah knew Quinn would be okay, and it was his final mission. Elijah’s too.
“I think we should have a team meeting,” she declared. “So everyone can talk and clear their heads.” She was seeing her wonderful guys break apart and she couldn’t allow that. Anything but that. Was she hurt when they announced they were leaving the IMPO? Of course, but she couldn’t let them lose each other. This argument between Elijah and Quinn had proven her point. This could have broken them.
“That’s a great idea.” Elijah ruffled Quinn’s hair as he spoke, causing Quinn to try and push Elijah away. “Everyone’s still up. We can do it right now.”
“I think that’s for the best. Right now, I think we’re all over the place, and it’s not working.” She was glad her cowboy agreed with her. She had plans, ones her men might not like, ones they might leave her for, but she wouldn’t be responsible for them falling apart. They were a team before her and they should always have each other, IMPO or not.
“Let’s do it.” Elijah kept an arm wrapped tight around Quinn, not letting the feral Magi get away. “You too.”
“I figured,” Quinn growled. “I wasn’t planning on avoiding it.”
“Sure.” Elijah was teasing now. Sawyer felt glad that everything seemed more relaxed between them. That meant they were moving on past the argument.
On the way back, she and Elijah made sure to put Quinn in the middle. They found Vincent sitting in the new dining room and he looked up from his papers with a sigh. Kaar bounced around on the table, eating seeds from Vincent’s free left hand.
“Why are all of you up so late?” he asked. He eyed her the most, almost accusingly.
“W
e want to call a team meeting,” she explained. “Care to call down those two?”
“Why?” He was suspicious now.
“For everything. Anything. We have the night free. Let’s do it.” So she could make sure they would survive this mission, emotionally and physically. She had already fucked up and Zander got shot. She had already messed up and Missy was killed, something Vincent, and in turn, her, had promised wouldn’t happen to the doppelganger.
Vincent’s eyes went unfocused for just a split second. “They’ll be down soon.”
She slid into a seat as Zander and Jasper entered. Elijah found a seat as well, as Quinn went to get the wolves and Sombra out of the office. She noticed that the wolves were already in a better mood. That was good. Sombra sat next to her, leaning against her thigh so she could have her head scratched. Sawyer obliged, unable to resist the physical connection with her bond.
“So, a team meeting,” Vincent declared. “Who wants to start?”
The deafening silence made Sawyer more uncomfortable than anything else she had ever encountered. She had never really known a time when these guys seemed like they couldn’t really talk to each other, but tonight it seemed like everyone was having a hard time.
So she started.
“I’m worried about all of you,” she admitted. “That this case might be taking a deeper, more painful toll than it should. That maybe I should have forced all of you to rest more after James died instead of jumping to chase Missy’s information into the raids.”
“I hate that you wear the mask,” Jasper mumbled, looking across the table at her. “I hate it, Sawyer. I don’t want you to.”
She’d figured that was coming.
“The mask doesn’t bother me,” Zander said, shrugging to prove how much he didn’t give a shit. “I’m more wondering how we’re all not going to die.”
The Redemption Saga Box Set Page 155