by Karen Booth
Sawyer left very early that morning and Kendall made a point of getting to work on time. But something was off from the moment she walked through the door. Maureen, the receptionist, was on the phone. She glanced up at Kendall, then averted her eyes. No smile. Had someone else been fired? Had the firm been dumped by a client?
Kendall walked down the hall, and it was more of the same, except now it was hard not to take it personally. People were avoiding eye contact, only muttering good morning. In fact, she didn’t hear a single demonstrative thing until Wes yelled from his office, “Good morning, Kendall. Beautiful day, isn’t it?”
She stopped dead in her tracks. Something was definitely wrong. She poked her head into his open doorway. “What’s going on?”
The smugness in his smile radiated like heat off asphalt in summer. “Just working hard. Trying to impress the boss. You should try it sometime.” He dropped the grin. “Seriously. You should try it.”
Kendall wasn’t about to stick around for clarification. She padded lightly into her office. She was just being paranoid, right? People were busy. They were preoccupied. She opened up her laptop bag and that’s when she saw the note waiting on her desk.
Kendall,
I need to talk to you first thing.
Jillian
The blood in her veins turned to an icy sludge—cold and heavy. Jillian had never before left her a handwritten note. It was always a verbal order left with reception. This wasn’t good. She wasn’t being paranoid.
Kendall straightened her dress and her spine, leaving her phone behind. As she marched down the hall and turned into the reception area outside the executive offices, she was struck by how much she wanted this job. Intellectually, she’d known she wanted it from the moment it was a possibility. Heck, she’d wanted it before then, when it was remote and unlikely. Walking past the empty VP office, the reminder to everyone that this prized position was up for grabs, Kendall was overcome with territoriality. She wasn’t generally like this, but dammit, this was her job.
Jillian’s assistant caught sight of Kendall. “Ms. Ross. Jillian wants to see you right away.” It sounded like an executioner’s decree.
“That’s why I’m here.” She forced a smile. Happy people are harder to fire, aren’t they? Into Jillian’s office she went, even when her knees felt like rubber and her heart, although working twice as hard as normal, wasn’t succeeding in pumping any blood at all.
“Kendall. Close the door, please.”
Kendall turned to do as instructed, but Jillian’s assistant was already there, doing it for her. Best to shut out the desperate cries for help, huh? “You asked to see me?” Kendall remained standing. It would make for a quicker escape.
“I know about you and Sawyer Locke.”
Hearing it out loud was like taking a knee to the ribs. She could hardly breathe. She’d thought about the consequences of her actions. She hadn’t thought about what the delivery of those consequences would feel like.
“Someone sent me photos,” Jillian continued. “I don’t know who, but it doesn’t matter. It’s obvious to me that you have not only crossed the line, it has been going on for a while. And that means there has been an ongoing effort on your part to deceive me. To say that I’m disappointed would be an understatement.”
Now she knew how stupid she’d been to base her fear solely on losing her job. Jillian’s words were far worse. Kendall had thrown away the trust of her mentor. How could she have done that? Kendall’s mind whirred with excuses, none of which were worth a thing. Just look at him. You try to resist him. She knew how pointless it all was. And she hated the way Jillian thought of her now, like she didn’t put her career first.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” she asked.
Except now, there was more than her career to worry about. There was a baby, who would need food and clothes, diapers and a college fund, and most certainly a roof overhead. “Yes. Please let me explain.”
“I have zero tolerance for this.”
“I know that. But I’m telling you that Sawyer and I were involved before he even set foot into this office. So it’s not quite what you’re thinking.”
Jillian’s focus narrowed. “The first meeting he had in our office? I only got the impression that you knew each other. There was no evidence of romance.”
Kendall didn’t know exactly how to proceed. She was walking a very narrow line right now. “There wasn’t any that day. It was in the past.”
“I’m not sure that makes things better. You should have said something.” Jillian sat back in her chair, shaking her head from side to side. “I will never understand why a woman is so willing to commit professional suicide because of a man.”
“I had no way of knowing he was going to walk into this office.”
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth? Right then and there.”
“Did I even have an opportunity? I had no time to prepare for the meeting, and my primary goal was winning the account. I was not thinking about romance. I was thinking about my job and nothing else.” Okay, so that part was a little bit of a fib, but it was mostly true and that was as good as things were going to get today.
“I have to take you off the account. Effective immediately.”
Kendall’s pulse raced. All that work. All those hours. It meant so much to her. And it meant so much to Sawyer. “No. No. Please don’t do that. I’ve busted my behind on this account. The Grand Legacy is going to be the pinnacle of my PR career so far.”
“Sorry. I don’t care about the past you and Sawyer might have. I only care about Sloan PR. And that means the account is going to Wes.”
“But...”
“My decision is made.” She turned away and began flipping through a stack of papers on her desk.
Does this mean I’m not getting fired? “What about the VP position?”
“It’s Wes’s to lose now. As far as I’m concerned, you’re no longer a candidate.”
She wasn’t sure of the wisdom of begging, but she had to make a case for herself. “You know I’m perfect for that job.”
“You were perfect. Past tense. I can’t give it to you now. I’m already being a hypocrite by letting you stay on. Don’t forget that I fired Wanda for nearly the same thing.”
“Why are you letting me stay?”
“It’s not because you’re brilliant. It’s because I’m too short-staffed right now.”
“Oh.”
“And if you want to keep the job you already have, stay away from Sawyer Locke. I don’t even want to know that you’re talking to him on the phone or sending him an email. One word of that and you’re done, Kendall. There is no wiggle room, especially not with a client this high profile.”
“Yes, ma’am. Of course.” Kendall’s heart was about to dissolve into nothing. Not only was this everything she deserved, it was everything she feared, all wrapped up in one big depressing package.
“Until then, I want you on your A game. On time to work. Every day. No more arguments with Wes. I don’t want to hear him complain about you even once.”
Why don’t you just give me an impossible task? “Of course. What do you want me to work on if I’m not working on the Grand Legacy?”
“You’ll need to take Wes’s smaller accounts to free up his time. Ask him what he wants off his plate.”
Kendall’s stomach lurched. “Are you saying I report to Wes now?”
“In a way, yes. I don’t have time to figure out who’s doing what. You two will have to work it out. I definitely want you taking the lead on Yum Yum Dog Food. Wes hates that account. They’re impossible to work with.”
Great. “Okay. Thank you.” Kendall didn’t have a choice but to be thankful. She was lucky to get out of Jillian’s office with a job of any sort. There was a baby to worry about now, and
she was the only person she could count on when it came to taking care of the tiny life growing in her belly.
* * *
Sawyer got a text from Kendall. We need to talk. In private. No restaurants.
Last time she’d made this request, she’d told him she was pregnant. What now? Twins? Okay. Where?
My apartment. 6:30? Please be discreet.
Discreet? What in the world was going on? Everything okay?
Not really. But I can’t talk about it now.
Sawyer was still wrestling with the pregnancy. He might have reacted poorly, but he couldn’t help it. Everything with his dad had put him on edge that day after nearly a lifetime of living with Locke drama. Maybe the Lockes simply weren’t cut out for love. His father was good at getting married, but Sawyer wasn’t convinced he knew what love was. Noah had shown no ability to be with a woman for more than a few days. His sister, Charlotte, ever the flighty party girl, was off sowing her wild oats in Europe and had been for the last two months. She always had lots of male attention, but rarely a boyfriend. Maybe it was genetic. Maybe the love their mother had shown them was all there ever would be. Not everyone lived a life filled with personal satisfaction, did they? Sawyer had done fine up until now without it. The one time he’d dared to think love or commitment was a good idea, he’d ended up with his heart torn in two. His work, although frustrating at times, never failed him. When his dad wasn’t interfering, there were days when he couldn’t see any reason to put effort into anything else. And the opening of the hotel? That would be a long-awaited dream come true. Maybe the Grand Legacy, and nothing else, was meant to be his future.
He arrived at her apartment on time, in a cab rather than having his driver take him. He was prepared to try to make Kendall happy, however shaky things were between them. Maybe he’d get to stay for dinner. Maybe he’d get to sleep over. Maybe she’d let him have a night off from the baby discussions and he could have the chance to come to terms with the idea of the pregnancy on his own. He didn’t want to shut the door on Kendall, as much as he was entirely uncertain about his ability to make it work, and even more unsure of becoming a dad.
“Hey,” she said, answering the door. She had no makeup on, her hair back in a ponytail. She was wearing yoga pants and a big, baggy top. Her feet were bare, but the most striking detail was her eyes. They were crystal clear, but ringed in pink. She’d been crying.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just come in.” She looked both ways down the hall and closed the door, flipping the latch.
Sawyer got settled while Kendall peeked between the shades and closed them.
“Do you want to tell me what you’re doing? I feel like we’re in a spy movie.”
She perched on the edge of the chair opposite him, her arms wrapped around her waist, closing herself off from him. “Not that far off, unfortunately. I almost got fired today. Jillian found out about us.”
“How?”
“Photographs. Someone sent her pictures of me leaving your apartment the morning after your dad tried to bribe me.”
“I’m so sorry if it was my dad. I really hope it wasn’t.” Sawyer shook his head and sat down on the couch. “You know, I understand that most companies don’t like the appearance of this sort of thing, but we knew each other before you had the job. That changes things. I don’t think it’s the same.”
“As far as Jillian’s concerned, that makes it worse. She feels like we were colluding that day you came in for the first meeting.”
“What about the pregnancy? Did you tell her about that?”
“No, I didn’t tell her that. That would just make it more complicated. We’re not actually dating, Sawyer. We’re not a couple. How would I even explain that?”
“We’re having a baby together. It’s very simple.”
“Are we having a baby together, Sawyer? Because I don’t think we are. Especially when I go to the doctor on my own and it’s apparently my job to convince you this is a good idea in the first place. When you sleep over every night, just so you can tell me time and time again that you have dozens of reservations about this. It doesn’t make me feel good or secure or happy.”
The circles he and Kendall had talked themselves into were endless. “And I told you, I never asked for this. If it was my call, I would never become a dad. Ever. It’s just not part of the way I see myself.”
She closed her eyes and sat back in her seat, pulling her legs up and resting her feet on the edge of the chair. “I’m so glad you have this choice, Sawyer. Really, I am.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t say that. I’m being honest with you, Kendall. What more do you want from me? I can’t manufacture a happy response to any of this. And surely you wouldn’t want me to make something up.”
“Look, I almost got fired today because of you. I almost threw my entire career away so you and I could sleep together a few times.”
Her words hurt so much more than Sawyer ever imagined. “That makes it sound so terrible.”
“It’s all terrible. Every last bit of it. And it only gets worse. Jillian pulled me off your project.”
Wow. It really did get worse. Sawyer couldn’t fathom moving forward with the Grand Legacy project without Kendall. In fact, there were a lot of things he couldn’t imagine without Kendall, but things were going off the rails so quickly, he couldn’t keep up. “No. She can’t do that.”
“She not only can do it, she’s done it. You signed a contract with the agency. It doesn’t guarantee my involvement. Now you get Wes.”
“The guy who gossiped about the engagement ring? I don’t want to work with him.”
Kendall shrugged. “What do you want me to say? We put ourselves in this terrible situation and we’re just going to have to live with it. We knew it was wrong and we did it anyway.”
He drew in a deep breath. It was time to fix things. Kendall was excellent at fixing things. He had to show her he could do the same. “I’ll go talk to Jillian. Straighten this all out. It’ll be fine. I don’t want you to worry about it.”
The color rose in Kendall’s cheeks. “Don’t you dare go to my boss about this. I do not need you going in there and sticking up for me. That will destroy any remaining shreds of respect Jillian might have for me. She thinks I’m a woman who’s willing to sacrifice her career for a man, and the truth is, Sawyer, I’m not. I’m not that woman. I was fine before you ever came along and I’ll be fine without you after you walk out the door.”
It felt like his heart was going to hammer its way out of his chest. “What are you saying?” He was so overwhelmed right now with emotions that were impossible to separate—anger, sadness, regret, uncertainty.
“This has to be over, Sawyer. You don’t want to be a dad and I don’t want to lose my job. And until you’re ready to show me that you’re on board with the baby, it’s too painful for us to be together.” The tone in her voice had become so definitive. So resolute.
Sawyer didn’t know what to say. “I don’t think you’re thinking this through.”
“The job was just the final nail in the coffin. I’ve seen the writing on the wall since the night I told you I was pregnant. I saw it in your eyes. You don’t want this. I know you don’t. And that’s okay. I can’t expect you to be excited or thrilled about something that you never asked for. It’s not fair to you.”
Funny, but as she told him everything he’d been thinking, it occurred to him that it wasn’t at all the way he wanted to feel. He wanted to be excited. He wanted to be thrilled by the possibilities. Here was this incredible woman in front of him and she had his child growing inside of her. But he wasn’t sure he had it in him to be a dad—a real dad, the kind of dad who reads bedtime stories and takes his kid to the park and shows unconditional love. His uncertainty about his own abilities was his biggest stumbling block. It made him feel like a fai
lure to think it, let alone admit it to Kendall.
“I’m not worried about being fair to me,” he said, watching as she got up out of her seat and opened the apartment door. “I won’t shirk my responsibilities. You have to know that.”
Kendall gestured for him to leave. “I know you won’t. I know that much about you, Sawyer. I know you’re enough of a stand-up guy to help me pay the rent and buy diapers. That’s not the problem.” He went to her, but she made it clear with a turn of her shoulder that she didn’t want him to touch her. “The problem is I need a man to stick around for longer than it takes to hand out some money.”
Fourteen
Sawyer’s stomach rumbled and groaned. He shifted in his seat, trying to ignore it, but the PR report he was reading was yet another reminder of everything that was wrong. It’d been two weeks without seeing Kendall and it was slowly killing him. She refused to take his phone calls. There was no way to know if she actually listened to his messages. He was guilty of leaving several.
Yet another grumble rose from his belly. He’d hardly eaten lunch. Food didn’t hold much allure right now. Nothing pleasurable held any appeal at all. Not without Kendall. But he had to eat. And he didn’t want to do it alone.
“Hey, Noah,” he called out to the near-empty office. Like most nights, everyone but he and his brother had gone home at five. It was now after six thirty.
Noah appeared in the doorway, pulling on his coat. “I’m getting out of here. I can’t stand another minute behind these four walls.”
“Do you have dinner plans? I’m starving.”
“Honestly? You look worse than starving. You look like you’re dying. You have dark circles under your eyes. Your skin looks like hell and that suit is practically hanging off you.”