by Dee Ellis
Blinding light danced on my lids, and I was freezing. I tried to snuggle into my comforter, tried to find the toes-warm contentment I’d had before. I couldn’t, and I grumbled loudly. Well, it was meant to be loud because I was pissed, but my throat felt like I’d gargled rocks, and it hurt to breathe.
Fire. Fire!
I coughed around the smoke before realizing the air I was breathing was clear. Sterile even. Slowly, my heavy lids drifted wide enough open to place the brightness. A hospital. Damnit. The cold made sense, as did the stench of alcohol and plastic. Warmth burned through my hand and up my arm suddenly.
At first, I thought it was from the burn that must be there. From when I’d tried to open the door to escape. But, no, that was the other hand, wasn’t it? Why was my hand so heavy? My head shifted sideways on my pillow, and I had my answer. As warmth bloomed through me and that girly softness returned, I smiled.
Hunter.
Collapsed in a chair beside me, still in his uniform, was a mussed and fucking beautiful Hunter. One arm was out, bent awkwardly up over the chair he had pulled beside my bed. The weight of our laced hands resting at my belly felt heavier than they really were. I knew it was some emotional shit making that so, but I didn’t try to figure it out.
Instead, I shifted onto my side towards him. My free hand came out to smooth over his face, touching his jaw, thumb tracing his mouth. Damn, he was a good-looking motherfucker. Strong jaw covered in a days’ worth of stubble, full pillowy-soft lips, sea green eyes, and an impish grin that when he meant it, included the slightest dimple.
I mean, he was also a fucking firefighter; with thick muscle banded arms covered in a litany of dark, swirling tattoos and a broad build that made you want to cuddle up in his lap. Some girls might not like his shaved head, but I loved it. Had imagined my nails piercing it as he fucked me hard or had his face buried between my thighs.
Hunter meant trouble for me. With a capital T. Mostly because I thought those things; like all the time, I thought those things. Since I’d first laid eyes on him, even before that Thanksgiving debacle, I’d thought those things. Then, he went and looked at me like he saw me, and it had changed.
A few nights ago, I’d spotted him at a pub I liked to drown my sorrows in. Since the night at the diner, it felt like I’d been looking for him everywhere I went. Then, there he was. I wanted him to barge into my space like I knew he wanted to. Like he did whenever we hung out with the others, and he made no secret he wanted me.
Just as he was about to that night at the bar. Until he saw her. Holly Byrne. Or rather, Holly Montrose—his whore of an ex-wife. No, she’s not just a whore because I want Hunter and she had him first.
Holly is a whore because I know she broke him, and that night, it looked like she had enjoyed it. In fact, it looked like she was aiming to do a little bit more damage.
Regardless of my situation, of how much capital T-R-O-U-B-L-E Hunter Byrne was for me, I stepped right the fuck in. I said all the types of things that ate at a whore like her. I painted a picture of Hunter and I as passionate lovers, both madly in lust and deeply in love. It worked.
“That was ballsy, Lola Bear.” Hunter had smirked at me over the third beer I’d shoved his way.
“Been told I’ve got brass ones. People like her,” I didn’t like her and refused to use her name after our encounter, “Deserve the worst of everything to find them.” I knew about people like her, intimately so; I said this with confidence.
“What about people like me? People who spend years wallowing in heartbreak instead of manning up and moving on? Like...I believe you did, Darlin’.” Seated at that bar, our fingers woven tightly together, I let him see me.
Over duck Reubens and a few drinks, I told him I thought wallowing had its place. Just as much as moving on did. Hunter never let my hand go. We talked and drank like that show I put on for Holly could have been real. Like we made sense and we both knew it. We both had pain, and it seemed as if the other wanted to ease it.
Hunter walked me home in the glittering snow, still holding my hand. While we walked, we talked more. About movies and music and all that shit you talk about on dates. It was not a date, though. Except, when he set me at my door two hours later, he made it feel like one.
“I like how moving on looks on you, Darlin’.” Hunter pressed me to my door, hooked those thick arms around me and swept me off my feet.
Meaning, he kissed me so deeply, so sweetly, and somehow still so dirty that I was thankful for that door behind me. Large hands slid down to cup my backside, and he lifted me against him, his tongue plunging into my mouth. He tasted like beer and smoke and trouble.
This time, it was me who stopped. Hunter touched his nose to mine, whispered a drawling g’night, and then took one more kiss. I watched him go as Gerdie was chirping about me being a bad girl. I’d dreamt of Hunter every night since.
Now, he here was, holding my hand and waiting for me to be okay.
“Hunter.” I could barely make out my own voice, but his head lifted and his fingers tightened within mine.
“H-hey Darlin’. Let me get the nurse...” I tugged at his hand and shook my head.
“No...no, not yet. Please. Can you just...” I buried my face into my pillow, not sure why I was about to ask this.
“Tell me what you need, Lola Bear. Tell me, and I’ll get it for you.” There it was; that was why I was about to ask him for trouble.
“Can you just....” I sighed and scooted away from him.
Hunter frowned then his eyes took in the empty space my move left. Those mossy eyes went molten and he moved quickly. Boots, coveralls and soot and all, he climbed into the bed beside me. I curled up into his chest as his hands began smoothing over my back. I couldn’t breathe right, but I felt like it had nothing to do with the smoke in my lungs.
Like he had done it a thousand times before, he shifted us so he cradled me against him. His boots left soot streaks in the crisp white sheets, but I could care less. I burrowed into his muscled chest, breathing deep fire, and smoke and safety. My arms slid beneath his and I closed my eyes. It somehow felt right that he’d been the one to find me tonight.
“Gerdie...” Panic crawled over me but Hunter brushed his lips over my temple.
“Hush. She’s at my place. Levi took her for you. The cage was toast, though.” At that, Hunter brought me closer, and I tipped my head back.
“Is...is everything gone? What happened? Why am I here?” I was clearly asking the questions out of order, but Hunter just smiled.
“You passed out on the stretcher, Darlin’. They kept you good till I got back to you, just like I promised. Place wasn’t even open, actually; it was some bad wiring. I can take you back when you want. It’s not all gone, baby. Not everything.” Hunter tipped his head towards the window sill behind us.
Covered in soot, but still in one piece, sat my secrets. The floorboards had given them up, apparently. Tucked inside an ancient silver music box were pieces of my past I preferred to keep buried. But, there were also mementos I held dear. That I’d carried with me for most my life. As well as chunks of cash I tucked away for emergencies.
“How did you know?” Again, his lips brushed over my temple and I snuggled into him.
“Mmm, I don’t know, Darlin’. I just did. Saw that bird peeking its head up. Thought it was important. How you feeling, baby?” I tipped my head back and peered up at him.
Hunter was trouble, but he was glorious, beautiful, delicious trouble that I wanted to try on. I didn’t answer his question with words. Didn’t know what words I could give him then. Instead, I lifted close and pressed my mouth to his.
He crushed me to him, both of us breathing fast and taking. I pressed against him, angling my body over his. Hunter was moving too, his hands shoving at the gown I wore, skimming over my ribs, up, up to cup my breasts. We moaned at the same time as his thumb circled the stiff peak, my hips rocking against him.
We ended up with me straddling him, one of his h
ands full of my tits, the other tangled in my short hair. My hands moved too, shoving at his soot covered shirt, seeking the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips. Hunter beat me to the punch, his fingers plunging into the front of my panties.
I had wanted men before. Had wanted their touch and to chase that explosion that burned through you for a moment or two. But this. I had never wanted someone to reach out and take from me. Because, with Hunter, I knew it feel so much more like getting. And, I also kind of doubted the burn he could give me would fade away quite so fast.
Long, skilled fingers spread me open, finding me wet and hot. Hunter groaned softly, biting at my lips, my jaw, my neck. I rocked against his hand as he wasted no time, plunging two fingers knuckle deep inside me. My teeth sunk further into his skin, my fingers raking at the muscled planes of his chest.
“Yes. Please, Hunter....yes.” The rough pad of his thumb found the swollen nub controlling my need, flicking and rubbing.
“Hush, now, Darlin’. We both need this right now, Lola.” I nodded my head, my teeth sinking into his shoulder to muffle my moan.
“I need you. You.” I tried to shove away, my fingers sliding into his safety trousers, hooking at his belt.
“Oh, baby, you’re going to get me. Once I get you home, you’re getting all kinds of me, Lola. I want to taste your skin and hear your sexy fucking sounds and watch you come apart for me. For now, I just need to make you come. For us both. I need it as bad as you do.” My hips rocked as he found that spot inside me, circling and rubbing.
“Hunter, please. I need...oh God. Yes. I... yes.” Pumping his fingers, circling my clit over and over, his mouth sucked my nipple through the thin cotton of the gown.
“Look at me with those eyes, baby. I need to see you when you come for me for the first time. It won’t be the last; don’t think different. Look at me, gorgeous. Give me what I need.” Lights danced behind my eyes and the orgasm he was wrenching from me danced up my spine and through my limbs.
I obeyed, though. I gave him that. I held onto his soft green eyes as he strummed me to the edge, then tipped me over. Heat coursed through me, all the way to my finger tips and toes. I was most definitely chocolate-gooey inside.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful, Darlin’. That’s it. Keep those eyes on me. I was fucking terrified tonight, Lola. Good girl. Watch me while you come for me. Never felt nothing like that before.” Dizzy with pleasure, I tried so hard to latch on to what he was saying. But I couldn’t.
“Hunter. Hunter.” As the world shifted on edge, I settled against him, my mouth crashing against his.
I never got to ask him why he was scared. Or why he wouldn’t let me have what I really wanted. Hunter held me till I fell asleep. I felt him kiss me goodbye. When I woke up again, it was daylight and in his place sat Gigi; pacing the room was Charli.
After a much more detailed description of what had happened—because their men had been there too, of course—Gigi told me what was going to happen now. For weeks, she had been pushing me to take her old space at the condo. I had hesitated because of Hunter.
Because I knew once I was that close to him, my destruction would be inevitable. Now, I welcomed that destruction. Whatever trouble Hunter brought me, I wanted it. I wanted to know why he was scared and why he could see me when no one else really could.
Gigi and Charli seemed very aware that his presence helped make up my mind. But, since I had figured out their scheme to hook us up weeks before, I didn’t care.
I would work through whatever wreckage the fire had wrought. Then I would start again. Because, like I told Hunter that night at the bar, there is a time for wallowing and a time for moving on.
Looked like I was taking Gigi’s offer and moving right on in next to Trouble with a capital T.
5
More often than not, I loved my job. I loved helping people, dealing with the kids, even putting up with my knucklehead crew. I enjoyed the pussy it promised me for a little longer than I should have. I didn’t enjoy that it destroyed my marriage, but I find myself wondering if the implosion of what I had with Holly can truly be blamed on my job.
Last week, I got to be the real-life hero for Lola, and it was fucking phenomenal. When we took that call, I didn’t realize where we were headed. Not until I saw the steps leading to her place. The steps I had walked her up just a few nights before that fire.
I recognized the stairwell and the door. The door I had pressed her against after she saved me at the bar, pretending to by my girl. Against that door, I had taken her mouth and shattered the quiet hesitance we’d been handling each other with.
“Hey, that’s Lola’s place.” I had leapt from the truck before it came to a stop, leaving hose duties up to Levi and Cage.
Finn and I tore up the stairs, and I kicked the door down. The flames had engulfed the first floor of the building and were crawling up. Lola was tucked into the corner by the door, wrapped in a blanket. The relief that poured over me was so powerful, I nearly dropped to my knees.
“Grab her, Hunter. Don’t know how long that floor will hold up.” Finn had my back, and I was thankful because I was lost for a moment.
I carried her out of there and straight to the ambulance. Lola knew it was me. Knew I’d be the one to get her out of there. The pride that surged through me was unlike anything I’d ever felt. It was about more than being a firefighter that night. It was about that connection she and I shared but danced around.
After the fire, I rushed to her side and stayed there till she woke up. I knew she would be fine. I could feel it. Didn’t stop me from being terrified. I was so scared, I pushed the moment she woke up. Kissed her foolishly and almost fucked her right in that hospital bed.
Lola wanted me to. Fuck, I wanted it too.
Just to feel her breathing and living. To feel her pulse pumping against mine. Around my cock. Beneath my lips. I wanted it so fucking bad, so when she asked for it, I don’t know how I resisted. I promised her I would be fucking her soon. Because, I fucking would.
After the fire, Gigi and Charli had insisted Lola take Cage’s old place. Right across the hall from my new place. If you didn’t believe in fate, let me tell you our story. This shit had fate written all over it. That fire just sped up the inevitable; Lola would be mine.
“Hey, dick,” Finn shouted above the noise of sirens, “We were taking bets on how long till you take up with Lola. I give it a week. Cage says you’re a stubborn motherfucker and so is Lola. He says two. Levi, he doesn’t think you will give up the bunnies. Between me and you, I think he’s realizing he chose the wrong bunnie, bro.” Finn tilted his head towards Levi; he was pouting and texting furiously on his phone as we drove towards a call.
“Ditch the phone, pussy. You know better. I’ll throw it in the fire and watch the bitch burn. I mean your whore wife and that blackberry.” It was harsh, yeah, but it was also the goddamn truth.
With Cage and Finn having productive lives outside of the station, Levi was all I had as a wingman. Bitching into his beer about the whore he was failing to turn into a housewife was not a good look. Besides, Levi was better off, and I had been trying, harshly, to convince him of that.
Levi was wrong about my badge bunnie habit, however. Lola Von cured me. At least, I thought she could. A few brief moments with her were hotter than any I’d share with a tired ass bunnie bitch in weeks. Ever, maybe. It was more than that, though.
I saw something in Lola that I don’t think anyone else did.
For all her foul-mouthed loudness, wild colored hair, and badass bravado, Lola was hiding. I wanted to open her up and see what was inside. The broken pieces that no one else asked about. That I don’t think others even saw. I wanted to piece those back together for her again.
“Juveniles. Betting on people’s relationships.” Fuck. I realized my mistake a moment too late.
“Ahah, I fucking knew it. Relationship. What kind of relationship has begun between you and the sweet, sassy, Lola Bear.” I shook my head and fo
cused on the smoke billowing in the air.
“None of your fucking business.” Shit, that was worse than calling it a relationship. These guys picked up on defensive answers like vultures.
“Son of a bitch. Any badge bunnie I ask about, you tell me the score. Keeping Lola details all to yourself is the same as saying she’s yours.” Cage, Finn, and Levi were watching me and I grimaced.
“I did not say that. But I am fucking saying that.” The last part was a growl and their howling laughter swallowed it up.
“I fucking knew it. I win. Wait. I have to ask, same as I asked my boy,” Finn and Cage exchanged a look and I was a bit jealous of the fondness the two shared since I had no one, “Does Lola know she’s your girl?”
Levi sat forward, pressing a heavy hand to my back. “I saw you carry her out of that fire, boss. Pretty sure she doesn’t need the words.” Levi was a good kid; if he wasn’t nearly a decade younger than me, we might be like Finn and Cage.
Then again, Levi was wise beyond his years. Married and trying his best to stay that way, he was an old soul. Levi wanted to settle down and have kids and save lives and be a contributing member of society. Too bad his wife was a whore, he couldn’t afford to have kids in Chicago, and he had deviant tendencies.
“Look, ladies, how about we put out this fire instead of gossiping about my love life, yeah?” I jumped from the truck and headed into the fire.
Later, I wondered why it was easier to run into a burning building than talk about how I felt about Lola. I wasn’t against relationships, clearly, since I’d once been devoted to Holly. Even after I found out how easy her legs spread for whoever looked in her direction, I thought it could be salvaged.
Instead, Holly proved I had never really known her at all. Because, she didn’t just walk out on me—that would be too easy. No, she brought her men to the house; into our home. It was coming home to her taking that banker’s dick in my kitchen, while she went down on his secretary, that ended it.
Holly cried and begged as I threw her shit out on the lawn in the snow. Another fond Christmas memory. I deserted her, left her alone too often, didn’t give her what she needed, she said. Maybe I did; and maybe that’s why I didn’t want to think about what damage I could cause to someone else.