by Dee Ellis
“Hunter is a good man. I really like him for you, V. I do. I just don’t think you’ve earned the happily ever after he wants to give you. Not just yet.” I whirl back to face her again, walking her backwards.
“Don’t you dare talk about Hunter. About what I have or have not earned. Why are you doing this? Because father told you to? Or because you want to hurt me for walking away when I had nothing left to stay for.” That might hurt, but it’s the Goddamn truth; the fire that lights in her eyes hints that she knows it.
“Yeah. Maybe. Maybe because I loved you once, but not enough to change facts. I told you I never wanted to be like mother. This promises I won’t be. I want to be like Father. Making the rules that someone like you has no choice but to follow.” Her lip curls up as she pushes back at me.
“You want to pull the strings, then? Tell me how this plays out, Pops.” I back away and watch her lower to Seth’s lap as he pops up behind her.
“Simple. The campaign. You show up, keep your fucking mouth shut, smile, and wave beside your husband.” She twists to accept the lewd kiss Seth offers her. “Play your fucking part, for once, Violet. After father wins, big sister gets her wings. Go or do whatever you want. With whoever you want.” Cold washes over me at what she’s asking. Demanding.
Hunter spent most his marriage to Holly being lied to. Cheated on. Doing this, agreeing to this, would make me no better than her. I promised I wasn’t that flavor of woman. A woman always seeking bigger, better, more. Hunter was my bigger, better, more; I didn’t want to lose him. Didn’t want to hurt him this way.
In true Lawton fashion, Poppy was giving me no choice.
“Hunter’s family is sweet too. I love that little farm his Mama and Daddy live on in Brookhaven. Would be a shame if they owed Lawton Holdings money. They’d risk losing that farm. Their whole lives.” Tears flooded my eyes because I knew Poppy didn’t bluff.
“Be a damn shame. Damn shame too,” Seth spoke up, the darkness back as he spoke, “if they meet their new daughter-in-law by watching her gangbang play at the local drive in. Entire town turns out for Friday Night Flicks, V. Devastating, really.” I looked away as they laughed, so dizzy from disgust and despair I almost can’t stand.
“Why? Don’t you think you took enough from me, Seth?” Poppy ends up in a mess of limbs on the floor as Seth leaps to his feet to shove me, hand around my throat, against the door.
“Oh, babes. No fucking way. You thought you got to walk away? Thought you got to be happy? If I am miserable, babes, so are you. We’re one, remember? That’s never gonna fucking change, Violet. Not ever.” My eyes drop to my sister, who’s watching this exchange.
“Told you he’d kill you before he ever let you fly free, Violet.” With the pressure of his hand on my throat making me gasp for air, I know she’s right.
Even knowing that, I don’t make the call because of it. Because of fear or even weary acceptance. I am in Maine before I agree to make the call; before I agree to their terms. Up to the very end I try to hold onto the noise and the colors around me.
I call my husband two days after my they took me from the library, from my life, from Chicago. I lock myself into my old room because I need to do it alone.
Drawing a B between my wedding band tattoo and that anchor, I say what I say because I love him. Because he made me feel safe, he chased away the shadows, and even as I break his heart, and mine, I am anchored to him.
“Please, don’t. I’m...I’m home. Back home, where I should be. I was foolish to run away. I just...had to tell you.... I meant it. I meant it all, Hunter.” Then, just as swiftly as my second marriage began, it is over.
Because I know I have to let the Lawtons pull the strings for now. And I don’t even know if I’ll have a life to go back to once they get what they want out of me. I can’t risk hurting Hunter’s family, who he loves, because my family are power hungry sociopaths.
I will forever be anchored to him, though; they can’t take that away.
17
My mother’s favorite show is Murder She Wrote; even now, she watches reruns religiously. Quinn Byrne might have made a great super sleuth in another life. Because of this, I had expected something very Cabot Cove-like when I landed in Maine.
Westbrook is a far cry from Chicago, but it’s not exactly seaside Cabot Cove, either. It’s not teeming with traffic and littered with trash. Streets seem busy enough, the shops seeming to range from mom and pop local spots to big name chain stores.
Officially, after that press coverage, and Lola’s call I had no choice but to report, Diggs said Lola wasn’t seen as a victim. At least, not one of kidnapping. Thus, my flight to Maine was the only rescue mission coming for her. And a mission it was, I had no doubt.
Another thing about Mama watching Jessica Fletcher solve mysteries? Spotting the clues. I could see the clues my woman had left without meaning to.
That phone call had been their work. A part of their grand scheme to throw me off the scent. Too bad for them Lola said what she said. That she had meant it. Meant us, meant the marriage. Meant that she wanted to be anchored to me. That meant I wasn’t about to let her drift off with the Lawtons again.
It was the press coverage of that joke of a rally that had done it, though. My Lola clearly had issues with authority. That bold “B” on her ring finger was a statement. Lola was not a Lawton. Not even a Von. That thick, black, bold B was meant for me. For her, too. A statement. Not sure I was even meant to see it. I did, though, and boarding that plan was my answer.
“You know.... none of us knew much about Lola. Not about her past; hell, not even her real name. You sure...” Levi’s concern on the ride to the airport did not surprise me.
With the acrid taste of his whore wife Isabella’s final betrayal in his mouth, Levi was bitter. Plus, the kid had a hero worship thing going on. Being the youngest of the core crew of guys at Ladder 71, I got it. I’d been there once, briefly. Finn and Cage might be hard on him sometimes, but he thought they were fucking heroes. Really, they kind of were.
He and I had our own kind of familial bond going on. Our wives had burnt us at the same time. Difference was, mine hadn’t lit the fire that burned me. Isabella had doused him in gasoline and smiled as he burned.
“Never been as sure about anything in my life, Levi. Lola is not Holly. Not Isabella. Hell, she ain’t even Violet Lawton. She’s Lola Byrne. My wife,” Levi and Diggs were the only ones who knew just yet, “I promised her once that I’d always save her. Even from herself. Some women are worth the scars, Levi. Some, like your soon-to-be-ex, are not. We live and learn, bro. Live and learn.” At the gate, Levi had wished me luck, telling me to bring our Lola Bear back home.
Goddamn right, I was.
Took me less than half an hour, two southern sweet flirtations and a few fifties to find the Lawton place. Sitting in the rented Explorer, I shook my head at the sprawling property.
It sat at the edge of town, up on a hill. As if the rest of the town was built around it. It was gated, with a high stone wall running the perimeter. Even had a rent-a-cop stationed at the gate.
I had no delusion I’d be walking right through the gates and back out with my lady. They somehow got Lola to make that call to me. To make me think she’d chosen this over Chicago. Over us.
“What’ve they got on you, Darlin’“?” I spoke to the empty car as I watched the sun set behind the mansion.
I’d come with no game plan. Other than finding Lola and leaving Maine with her. Since the cops weren’t involved—at least not until Deacon confirmed that arson evidence one-hundred percent arson—I had to play it smart.
Diggs had conned Lawton’s campaign schedule out of a member of his staff; I would know where they were going and when for the next two weeks. Didn’t need that much time. Just needed one chance. One face to face with Lola. All I needed.
For a few hours, I watched the comings and goings of the house. Lights burned on the main floor and one corner room. I knew, with certainty I fe
lt in my bones, that was my lady’s room.
Lola was there. I ached with the need to go scoop her up and toss her fireman-style over my shoulder. Smack that plump ass a few times for wasting both of our time.
“I don’t come from a good place. I am constantly afraid I’m like they were. Maybe I just hide it better.” Lola murmured the first night of her sister’s ill-fated visit.
“Way I see it, Darlin’’ you outshined them. Colorful, bright, loud and fucking perfect.”
“Promise....I told you not to promise not to hurt me. Just not to mean it if you did. If...if I ever hurt you Hunter...promise you’ll know I didn’t mean it. That I had no choice.” Lola had cried, and I’d made that promise as I’d held her.
I wasn’t a man who broke their promises. At least I was going to do better than last time. Because, this time, I’d made the right ones to the right woman.
I’d meant it when I told Levi I’d never been surer about going after Lola. Even still, until I’d been in line to board, I’d had some doubts. Then I saw Holly. Of all the luck. The flood of dread and rotten guilt I always felt didn’t come this time. Not even the heat of anger. Nothing at all.
When she crossed towards me, leaving her husband in line to Bali or some bullshit place, I didn’t even flinch. The moment she reached me, I knew what I wanted to say.
“Holly,” I stepped out of line and tugged her from the crowd, “I’m sorry. Sorry I married you, brought you here, then allowed our marriage to fall apart. I am sorry I wasn’t enough for you, and you weren’t enough for me. I tried, just not hard enough.” Holly’s blue eyes went wide before bouncing around.
“I did love you, Holly. Once, in another life, you were all I wanted. But our life changed and that changed too, I think. I wanted a family and a home and my job. You didn’t want the same things, and you tried to show me. I just wanted to get it right so badly, I couldn’t see how wrong I got it. I’m so goddamn sorry, sweetheart.” For a long moment, the airport went quiet as I watched her absorb this.
“Jesus...I....I did not expect that, Hunter. I always expect venom and hate from you. I damn sure earned it.” Holly looked away, and I saw the tears in her eyes.
“Me too, sweetheart. Can you tell me why, though? I need to know. I... have someone now and,” I had to get some answers, any answers about what I’d done wrong, “You met her. I... I don’t want to fuck it up again, Hol’. I fucking...I don’t think I’d get over losing her. Over knowing I can’t get it right, no matter how hard I try.” I didn’t consider how those words would hurt her, and she winced and twisted away just a little.
“Hunter...puddin’,” I was not prepared for her soft voice, for the softening of her features, “You are the best man I ever knew. I loved you my whole life; thought I always would. That’s not realistic when we’re about as different as oil and vinegar. I tried too, but I quit on us before you did. I was a spoiled brat; by Daddy, by my brothers, by you. I got what I wanted, and the minute you stopped giving me what I thought I had coming, I sought it elsewhere,” At first, I can’t look at her; then I realize I need to. I need to do this right.
“I don’t think I loved you the way I should have, Hunter. At the same time, I will always love you. I am so sorry.” Tears slid down her pretty face, dark mascara streaks ruining her perfectly done make up, “We both fucked up, puddin’. Both of us followed the wrong rules; the ones that say you stick with it even when it doesn’t feel right. Remember our wedding day? At the barn?” We chuckle softly as I step closer.
I do remember. Before the ceremony, we met out back. Against the wishes of both our parents. We were nervous. But not the kind of excited nervousness most brides and grooms feel. We stood there under the sunlight and wondered if we were making a mistake. Holly asked me to tell her I loved her forever; that it would always be us against the world.
I couldn’t say it; because when I looked at her, as beautiful as she was in her fluffy gown, I didn’t feel like the words would always mean what they had before. We should never have gotten married. It would have saved us a lot of heartache. Doubt. Anger. Few years of possible VD. We had just been two dumb kids, clutching at a forever we weren’t meant to have.
“I just...I want to get it right with Lola. I need to. Don’t want to screw it up again.” I bow my head as both our lines move slowly.
“So, don’t. Don’t let her fuck it up either. Tell her you love her. Make her tell you too, puddin’. I don’t deserve your apology, but I’ll take it if you take mine. You deserve to get it right, Hunter.” My eyes snap to hers; Holly is smiling. That same smile I loved when I was sixteen and thought we’d have forever.
“I do, Holly. You deserve to get it right too. If he ain’t it,” I glance past her at the man watching us closely, “Don’t let him do to you what I did. Don’t let him make it easy to quit. If he is...don’t quit either, sweetheart.” Holly beams, glancing back at him with a lift of her shoulder.
“He’s not Hunter Byrne,” Holly steps closer as she sobers, “but he might be me getting it right. Feels like it.” A squeeze of a hug later and we step away from each other.
Just like that, I knew I was headed in the right direction. Not just towards Maine. But towards Lola. Towards my future and getting it right with her. We exchange one more look before boarding our planes. I see how she smiles at her new husband and how he holds her close. What I see is them getting it right. Just like Lola and me.
For a few hours, I sat in a rented Explorer, watching the house. No one came or went for hours. Still, I waited. For what, I couldn’t be sure. Until at about midnight, when I was given the first piece of a plan that I wouldn’t formulate until much later.
As I watched, Lola’s father circled the gardens just to the left of the house. I had a perfect view with the moon bright overhead and the dozens of floodlights dotting the property. Which meant I had no doubts about what I was watching. Minutes into his stroll, Reginald met up with Boyd Fairchild, Seth’s father and a powerful Senator.
Right there in the gardens, surrounded by perfectly manicured lawns and blooming rose bushes, Boyd dropped to his knees in front of Reginald. I was confused until I heard the faintest groans. Saw the dark head of Boyd bobbing in the moonlight. I was stunned. Not because I had an issue with dude love. Have your cock and eat it too, I say.
But, Boyd and Reginald were staunch republicans who spoke out against gay marriage, the crumbling of faith in America, and bellowed about the importance of family values. Facts I knew just since looking into who had forced my wife back into the shadows.
I’d seen enough to be sure. Snapped a few romantic images, too. I headed back to my hotel, calling the information in to Diggs right away. After a promise that he’d dig deeper into the Senators’ liaisons, I thought my rescue mission couldn’t get much easier. I had ammo to use if they forced my hand. Ammo I had no hesitation using if they wanted to come between King Kong and my Fay Wray.
“Hunter,” Diggs called me moments after room service was delivered, “You sitting down?” I was, so I nodded, even though he obviously couldn’t see me.
“Spill it, Diggs.” I barked, shoving the steak and potato back beneath the silver lid.
“The Lawtons are a soiled lot, bro. Daddy is fucking his campaign partner, mommy fucks their entire staff, women included. Little innocent Poppy is fucking both Fairchild brothers.” I nearly choked on the tiny, pricey bottle of Jameson I’d gulped.
“Poppy is fucking Lola’s ex?” Hadn’t bought that girl’s prim and proper bullshit, but Jesus Christ.
“My intel says yes. Says the three have quite the R-rated romps. Seems Seth is quite the cinephile and likes to film it. We get our hands on that, get some solid proof of Daddy getting dirty with another senator, Lola is as free as that bird of hers.” I smiled when I thought about Levi back at our place keeping an eye on mouthy Gerdie.
“Can it be so easy? A little proof of some dirty deeds and they let my lady come home with me?” I doubted it, but I was holding out
hope.
“Last thing Senator Lawton wants is a scandal right now. Pretending to be as wholesome as the Walton’s; meanwhile the truth is about as filthy as the Kardashians.” I laughed a little, but what he’d said triggered something.
“Let me know what you dig up, bro. Consider yourself redeemed, Diggs. Came through for me when I needed you.” That was about as sentimental as I wanted to get, so we laughed it off and ended the call.
I ate my meal in contemplative silence. Something was nagging me. After a shower, I lay in the too-big bed and thought about my wife. About the last time I’d held her. I missed her sweet freesia scent and the way her fingertips traced my tattoos when I held her at night.
I swiped through photos of her on my phone; ones of her in bed waiting for breakfast, coloring her novel in, after we’d made love. Ones of her laughing with the girls, or with Gerdie. A few of her looking quite and thoughtful.
At the end, I came to a photo I’d sent my Mama of the two of us; the day we’d gotten married. Mama knew Lola was not just another girl, and I’d promised to bring her home to visit soon. Their spirit was a lot alike; they were fiery souls who, at days’ end, wanted someone to love them for that fire. Mama’s fire kept my parents married forty-five years.
“Jesus H Christ! Of course!” Leaping out of bed, I made a call.
“Hello, sweet boy.” My Mama’s thick southern accent soothed me almost immediately.
“Hey, Mama. How you been?” Mama updates me on Daddy, the farm, my sister Honor, and even Scooter, my bulldog.
“Tell me what’s eating you, honey?” Right to the point.
“Lola. She’s....she’s gone, Mama. I’m chasing after her, though. Doing my best. Want to get it right with her, Mama.” I run a hand over my bald head, pain flaming in my chest at the idea that I don’t get it right.
“Saw your girl on TV; with another man, at some press nonsense. I noticed a little B on her ring finger. Something you ought to tell me, Hunter Jameson?” Mama is as clever as ever, and I almost laugh.