Beautifully Damaged

by Fiore, L. A.

  "What happened to your parents?"

  "They were murdered."

  I know my face paled at that announcement as I managed a rather incredulous, "What? When?"

  "...that night. The police claimed it was a home invasion but, Ember, I know it wasn't. There had been no previous cases of robberies in the area and for there to be one that ended in a double murder, one of the victims being an heiress, no chance. I can't prove it, and I've really tried, but up until quite recently, I believed that my Uncle Charles killed them."

  And then I remembered the paper in the storage unit. The recounting of those gruesome murders was of Trace's parents.

  "That's why you reacted so strongly when you heard about him on the news."

  "Yeah. He runs for the Senate and his past, my past are going to get dug up and that's bad enough but if he really is a murderer, he'll do anything to keep his secret."

  "That's why you feared for me."

  He touched my face before he replied softly, "Yes."

  "What made you think it was your Uncle?"

  "He's always had political aspirations and running a political campaign can be quite costly. If something were to happen to my mom and dad, her estate, minus the trusts that she setup for my sister and me, would go to my Uncle. Plus, my dad was a sick son of a bitch and not someone an aspiring politician wants in his closet. Taking them out would have solved two problems for my Uncle."

  "Why would your Uncle take such a risk especially since he wanted to get into politics? Getting away with murder is almost impossible and doubly so for political candidates whose histories are dug up and searched with a fine-toothed comb."

  "You met him. He's a self-serving narcissist and he believes deep down that he's untouchable."

  "You said that you thought he did it...do you no longer?"

  He pulled a hand through his hair before he replied, "I'm not so sure now. Ever since you told me that he got that job for you, I've been looking into him. He's arrogant, ambitious and callous but his reaching out could really be just that. I agree with you; trying to help me is self-serving for him but it's possible that he's just a miserable and self-absorbed human being and not a killer."

  "I came to that same conclusion after my meeting with him."

  He studied me for a minute before he reached up to touch a lock of my hair.

  "What are you thinking?"

  "You really pushed me away to protect me."

  Tenderness washed over his features as he held my gaze and replied, "My Uncle never once paid my sister and me any attention. He knew what was happening in our house and he did nothing. And then he's running for Senate and suddenly there he is, showing interest in me and by extension you. I really believed that he was only interested because he was trying to discern how much I remembered from back then, how much of a liability I could potentially be. I've lived for so long with the belief that he was a killer, and saw what I believed he was capable of. Knowing you were now on his radar because of me sent me over the edge.

  I pushed you away hard because I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you because of me. When I told you I was over you it ripped my fucking heart out seeing the look on your face, the pain I caused you and knowing it was all a lie. But even if Charles is innocent, someone murdered my parents and got away with it. With Charles in the spotlight, his family will also be pulled into it as well and the whole scandalous mess is going to get dug up. Whoever killed my parents is very likely going to get very nervous which means that there's still danger, Ember."

  "And we'll face it together."

  His eyes filled with tears as he wrapped my face in his hands. "In my life I've never had what I had with you. I've been alone for so long, never shared myself with anyone, didn't know how to engage people and talk about myself since I never learned that. For me, I learned it was safer to close off. I told you so little about myself and still you cared, stayed, engaged and eventually loved me. Even when I was cruel and indifferent you still didn't walk away. You stayed, Ember, and you have no idea what that meant to me. I hated hurting you and when you stayed, and kept staying, it broke my heart but it made me realize something, too. I could let you in, I could share my darkest secrets with you because you knew I was damaged and yet you still loved me."

  There were tears streaming down my cheeks as I looked at him. "I do love you, Trace."

  "And I will endeavor to deserve that precious gift every day of my life."

  "You do deserve it, Trace, always have."

  "Where do we go from here, Ember?"

  "I want to be with you but it will only work if you don't shut me out or push me away."

  "Instinct for me is to do just that but I want you more than I've ever wanted anything. It's going to take me some time to break my habit but for you I will."

  I held his tender gaze as my heart ached with love. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anything."

  He kissed me then, sealed his mouth over mine and showed me just how much he loved me. When he pulled away he touched my cheek as a smile touched his lips. My heart rolled over in my chest at the look of love burning in his eyes.

  "Trace, where's your sister?"

  "She's in a facility, the best I could find. I visit her every week."

  "Did you take her to that bistro you like?"

  He looked at me with an odd expression before he replied. "Yes, she likes it there."

  "I saw you."

  "What, when?"

  "That day I came home from my walk and you were waiting for me. I was going to that bistro for lunch and saw you with her, in the front window, and my heart just broke. And when I asked you about where you were you said you were at the gym."

  He reached for me and pulled me up against him. "I remember. The pain on your face when I lied, it broke my heart. And then you told me you believed in self-fulfilling prophecies and I knew that I was going to lose you, that I wasn't strong enough to hold onto you."

  "You are though, Trace, you are strong enough you just weren't ready then to share."

  "No, but I am now." He reached for my face to cradle in his strong hands. "I'd like you to meet her."

  "I would really like that, Trace. Your sister's name is Chelsea, isn't it?"

  He smiled before he replied, "Yes."

  Chapter Sixteen

  Rolling Acres was aptly named since the place was situated among acres and acres of rolling, green hills. Located in the beautiful, and affluent area of Westchester, New York, it really was a lovely place. The long, tree-lined drive opened to a sprawling, stone building that was surrounded by gardens, which I imagined would be filled with color come Spring. Trace pulled his motorcycle up to a gated parking lot as the attendant stepped out of his booth to greet us.

  "Mr. Montgomery, welcome."

  "Hello, Sam."

  "Please pull right in." Sam hit a button that was discreetly concealed against the wall of the booth causing the gates to swing quietly open. As Trace parked, I couldn't help but notice that the cars in the lot were all foreign and very expensive. Trace waited for me to climb off before he followed, taking my helmet and placing it on his bike. He reached for my hand and looked down at me nervously, almost awkwardly, and then he offered, "Chelsea will just be finishing lunch and after -- well, uh, she usually likes to walk to the pond to feed the ducks."

  "I like feeding ducks."

  He smiled then and the warmth of that smile caused a long, slow pull on my heart. He lowered his head before he whispered, "I like you."

  We started into the building and as soon as my eyes adjusted, I was impressed with how elegant yet comfortable the place appeared. The colors were soothing and the little touches of fresh flowers and potted plants made the place feel more like a home rather than a hospital. Trace led me down the hall to room 114 before he knocked. When the door was pulled open, we were greeted by a beautiful woman with a big smile on her face.

  "Trace." She threw her arms around her brother as his came around her. I
stepped back to give the two a moment. I realized as I watched Trace with his sister that his act of kindness to that little girl at the fair really had been instinct. I'd bet money that she had reminded Trace of Chelsea. When Chelsea pulled away from her brother her gray eyes turned to me and her smile, I noticed, never faltered.

  "Chelsea, this is my friend, Ember. I told you about her."

  My heart leaped at his words and, as my eyes moved to his, love filled me. He spoke to her about me so even though he hadn't been ready to share her with me, he shared me with her, and that made me feel really good.

  "She's pretty, just like you said."

  And then she held her hand out to me and smiled.

  "I'm Chelsea. Nice to meet you, Ember."

  I took her hand into my own as a smile touched my lips at her child-like innocence.

  "It is my very great honor to meet you, Chelsea."

  "I like her, Trace."

  And then her eyes turned to her brother's. "Can we feed the ducks now?"

  He reached for her hand and smiled. "Absolutely."

  As we walked along, I couldn't suppress the smile because Trace was right; she really was very child-like. She ran around us, skipping at times, telling us stories about making chocolate-chip cookies, watching movies, playing with her friends. She was, I suspected, a few years older than me but she had the mannerisms of a carefree, and happy eight-year-old girl.

  I watched Trace, watching her, and fell in love with him all over again because the ugliness that haunted him, he didn't let it anywhere near her. My heart also ached for him because I could see in those beautiful eyes that when he looked at his sister he felt responsible, he felt guilt, and that wasn't fair because he had only been a kid himself when he begged for help and had been denied it. He had been only a child of fifteen left to his own devices to seek out that help.

  We reached the pond, a beautiful sapphire pool that reflected the sun like thousands of little diamonds resting upon the surface. The mallard ducks swam a bit of a distance away. The vibrant green head of the male ducks was quite the contrast from the all-over brown of the females but, as soon as the bread pieces touched the glistening water, all of the ducks bee-lined toward Chelsea making her squeal in childish delight.

  "Aren't they so pretty? The girls should have the pretty colors though, don't you think, Ember?"

  "I do, Chelsea."

  Trace reached for my hand and, when I looked up into his face, he smiled and then we both turned our eyes to Chelsea. For the next hour, we watched her joy as she fed the ducks.

  Later, Trace took me to that bistro and once our order had been taken, he reached across the table for my hand. The gesture was so much like the one that I witnessed with him and Chelsea, that it caused a small tug on my heart before he said, "Thank you for coming with me. I know that Chelsea really enjoyed meeting you."

  "She's lovely, Trace."

  He was silent for a minute; his thoughts were his own before he offered softly, "In a few months, she'll turn twenty-six. She should be dating, maybe married with a child of her own, and instead she's perpetually an eight-year-old with the joys, the sorrows and also the limitations."

  "Trace, did you ever consider, if you and Chelsea had not left your house that night, that you and Chelsea would have died, too."

  In response to my words he just sat there, stock-still, and I knew, from his reaction, that he hadn't thought of that. I squeezed his hand before I added, "Perpetually eight is a far cry better than being perpetually dead, Trace. You saved her, and in more ways than one."

  Trace brought me back to Trent's and parked his motorcycle at the curb before he walked me to my door. I hesitated to go in because I wasn't ready to leave him but at the same time the past two days had been so emotional that I needed some time to process it all.

  "Thank you for coming with me to see Chelsea."

  "She's lovely, Trace. I was very happy to meet her."

  His eyes held mine as he reached up and ran his finger along my jaw. "Could I see you tomorrow?"

  "I would really like that."

  "I'll pick you up around noon?"

  "I'll be waiting."

  He leaned into me and brushed his lips over mine before he pulled back and grinned.

  "Goodnight, Ember."

  I leaned against the door and practically sighed, "Night."

  When I entered the apartment, Trent was waiting for me with a glass of wine. He didn't even wait for me to drop my keys on the table before he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

  I smiled as I walked over to the sofa and settled next to him, reaching for my glass as I did.

  "You know me so well."

  "How did it go?"

  "It was wonderful. His sister is beautiful and sweet."

  Trent settled back on the sofa and grinned. "Start from the beginning."

  The next morning, I was just finishing getting dressed when the doorbell rang. I walked out into the living room just as Trent opened the door for Trace. I noticed the tension and understood it. Trent was a good friend.

  "Trent." Trace said and then his eyes found mine as a smile touched his lips. "You look beautiful, Ember."

  I blushed which only had Trace's smile turning a bit wicked.

  I moved to the door and reached for Trent's hand and squeezed. "I'll see you later."

  "Have fun," Trent offered before he brushed a kiss on my cheek.

  "Thanks."

  Trace and Trent shook hands just before Trace followed me out into the hallway. We were halfway down the hall when Trace reached for my hand. I looked down at our joined hands prompting Trace to ask, "Is this okay?"

  I looked up at him and saw that he was actually nervous making me all warm and gooey inside.

  The smile was completely involuntary before I replied, "Absolutely."

  He grinned as he held my hand even tighter. We reached his bike before he placed the helmet on my head. Moments later we were driving down the street as I tightened my hold on Trace, resting my cheek against his back. I felt the shudder that went through him in response which pulled a smile. We drove for a while before reaching our destination and when I saw that we were at Nathan's, I felt love burn through me. Trace followed me off the bike as a grin tugged at his mouth.

  "One hot dog with everything on it."

  "You remembered!"

  His palm cradled my cheek as he lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine. He reached for my hand and pulled me up to the ordering window.

  The following day, a package arrived for me and I knew that it was from Trace. I hastily opened it to reveal the most beautiful Steiff teddy bear. The note that accompanied the package simply read:

  I owed you one. Love, Trace

  In the week that followed, I spent every day and most evenings with Trace but he always brought me home at the end of the date, leaving me at the door with a goodnight kiss. One night, he took me back to his apartment where we ate popcorn and watched Christian Bale as Batman. Another night, we just strolled through the Village, talking.

  I knew what he was doing: trying to reconnect, trying to bring us back to where we had been before he pushed me away. The thing was, I didn't need any of it. As much as I loved every second that I spent with him, I understood why he acted as he did. I loved him, never stopped, and more I needed him. I wanted him to hold me, to touch me, to love me.

  We were at dinner, a small Greek place, and were just finishing our main courses when I reached across the table for Trace's hand.

  "Trace?"

  "Yes, love."

  I leaned closer to him so no one else would overhear. "Trace, if you don't make love to me, I think I might go insane."

  His reaction was so fun to watch. Just like that his demeanor changed to that of sex. His eyes burned like fire and I could all but see as his body started humming from want. "Are you sure?"

  "God, yes."

  "Check!"

  We made it outside of the restaurant before Trace pulled me to him
and kissed me so wickedly that my stomach flip-flopped with desire. There was no doubt what was on his mind as he reached for my hand and practically ran us to his bike. We broke several roadway-laws to make it back to his apartment in under ten minutes.

  As we entered his apartment, he stepped gentlemanly aside waiting for me to precede him. He closed the door behind us and I turned to him to find him leaning against the door watching me. The look in his eyes burned desire through my body. I knew he wouldn't make a move; he wanted to but was following my lead. I wanted him to touch me, I wanted to touch him, so I held his gaze before I whispered, "Make love to me, Trace."

  That was all it took. He walked across the floor and pulled me into his arms. His mouth fused to mine as his hands sought the hem of my shirt, pulling from me only long enough to discard the garment. My hands were eager for the feel of the hard, smoothness of his skin as I ran my fingers over his heated back causing those muscles to bunch and cord in response. He lifted me into his arms and started walking down the hallway to his room as my mouth pressed to his neck, sucking the blood to just under the surface of his skin, before I bit him causing him to growl low in his throat. He tossed me on his bed and as I bounced up and down on the mattress he stripped, the beauty of his body causing desire to burn through me, and then he pounced, caging me with his aroused, hard body.

  "I can't wait, Ember. I need to be inside you." His hands lifted my skirt, and pulled my panties off. He filled me in one long, hard stroke and I gasped as I stretched to take him in but I lifted my hips at the same time to take more of him.

  "Oh god, you feel so good." He growled as he started to move, slowly at first, as each stroke caused the delicious tension to build until I felt as if I was being torn apart from the pleasure that ached to the point of pain. I gripped his most excellent ass as I urged him to go deeper, harder, faster and when he did, I came apart, screaming out his name. I felt him tense and with two more powerful thrusts, he closed his eyes, threw his head back and roared with release.

  When he collapsed on top of me, I was weak and very sated until his hand closed over my breast and he rolled my pebbled nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Just like that the tension started to grow again.