The disappointment in Daniel’s eyes stabbed at her heart. She knew he wanted to hear something different from her and everything inside her wanted to tell him she loved him too but she was terrified of having her heart broken yet again.
He walked away without saying another word to her. Elena sat there watching everyone go by in a daze. All she could think about was how it felt to kiss Daniel last night. She felt an abandon had overcome her and guilt was eating at her for what she had done. She reached for her phone and called the only person she knew could understand her. “Hi, Mom,” she said, choking up. “I think I’ve made a big mistake.”
“What’s wrong, baby?”
The sound of her mother’s voice was an instant comfort to Elena. “I kissed him, Mom. I kissed Daniel.”
There was a long pause on the phone and Elena was afraid she had disappointed her mom, who had only kissed one man in her life: her husband.
“I see. And was it different than Alex?”
Elena could still feel Daniel’s lips against her, and a dull ache of desire ran through her at the thought of him. “Like night and day,” she admitted.
“Then sweetie, you need to make the choice that is right for you, and sometimes it’s not the one that makes the most logical sense. Your dad was the most adventurous person I knew and our life together was certainly filled with lots of ups and plenty of downs, but I would have never chosen otherwise.”
Elena was surprised at her mother’s advice. She thought her mom was pro-Alex all along, wanting someone stable and secure for her daughter, but her mom knew Elena would never have a happy life if she settled for less than true love and passion. “Thanks, Mom.”
After her mom had put her at ease, she wiped her tears away and put on her game face for work. As the doors were about to open to the public, Daniel appeared, freshly shaven and dressed. “I thought you were going to sleep for a couple of hours,” Elena said. She knew he was exhausted, but he still looked as handsome as ever.
He shrugged off her worry. “I’m fine. We have work to do.”
“Daniel, we need to talk about last night.” She couldn’t leave things like this between them. She knew she had hurt him and he was distant with her now; he was shutting her out.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Elena. Let’s leave it at that.”
As much as she wanted to act like nothing had happened, she just couldn’t. He had changed everything for her. He made her doubt her decisions about her feelings, and she was as confused as ever. “I can’t.”
“Unless you’re willing to tell your boyfriend about what happened last night, I suggest we table it,” he replied sharply.
Elena could see he was hurting and it killed her to see him like that. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He shrugged off her concern. “I’ll live, Elena.”
Somehow, his nonchalant attitude didn’t make her feel any better. The rest of the day was business as usual. They each did the job they were assigned to do, and Daniel seemed to be doing his best to ignore her. After the expo was over, Daniel disappeared without her even noticing. After wandering around the hotel for a while trying to clear her mind, she went back up to the room to gather her luggage to check into her own room for the night.
She put the card key into the door handle and slowly turned the handle and opened the door. Her heart was beating fast, anticipating Daniel’s presence in the room. She walked in and found the room empty save for her suitcase next to the bed with an envelope on it addressed to her. Her heart slowly dropped as she realized he had left. She walked over to her suitcase and picked up the envelope.
She was afraid to open it, afraid she had ruined any chance she had with Daniel before it even began. The harder she tried to ignore the truth in her heart, the more it persisted. Against all the odds, Daniel was the one she wanted.
She sat at the edge of the bed and took a deep breath as she opened the letter:
Dear Elena,
I’m sorry to have to leave without saying goodbye, but you see I have never been good at letting go. Since the moment we met, barriers have always been placed between us, some I admit I placed myself, and well you know the reasons why. I never stopped thinking about you, and when I saw you again after so many years, I thought I would have a chance to mend the many wrongs I did to you and be able to win your heart, but I know that I’m too late as another has earned that right. As hard as it is for me to admit it, Alex is a good man, and I sincerely wish both of you the best.
My wish for you is that you live your life to the fullest and may you experience all the adventures I know your heart desires. Maybe in a different lifetime, our story could be told.
Daniel
* * *
Elena wiped the tears from her face. She had lost. She had hesitated in her decision and lost it all. He left her and cut her out of his life as quick as he had tried to be a part of it. Elena had barely enough time to register what had happened last night and now this.
Elena got up from the bed, determination settling on her shoulders. She grabbed the handle of her suitcase. “This is over when I say it’s over.”
Chapter 23
The flight back home was a long one. She waited for hours at the airport trying to get on an earlier flight back home, but the wait gave Elena the time she needed to think about what she had to do and the choices she needed to make. The door in front of her opened. “We need to talk,” she said. She walked into his apartment with a steadfast determination and resolve hoping she wasn’t making the mistake of her life.
“Is everything okay?” Alex asked. “I thought you weren’t flying in until later tonight, but you’re here just in time to join us for lunch.”
In that moment, laughter erupted from the living room. “Come on. I’m dying for you to meet them.”
Elena’s eyes widened in panic. She had forgotten that Alex’s mother and sister from Argentina were here visiting the States for the first time. Elena dug her heels in the floor. “Alex wait—”
“Oh come on, don’t be shy. They are going to love you.”
Alex grabbed her hand firmly and almost dragged her to the living room. “Here she is,” Alex announced proudly. “Mama, this is my Elena.”
Elena stood there in the living room frozen in place. Fuck—what was she going to do now? This was getting worse by the minute. Alex’s mother stood up from the sofa and headed toward her with open arms.
“Pero que hermosa eres mi nina…how beautiful you are,” she said in her heavy Argentinian accent. “Alex was right when he said he had found a jewel here.”
“Elena, this is my mother, Teresa.”
Elena welcomed her with a hug. “It’s very nice to meet you, senora.”
Alex’s mother hugged her with a strength of a mother who has found a long-lost daughter. Elena smiled, and the lady looked at her adoringly.
Alex put his hand on Elena’s lower back. “And this is my oldest sister, Camila.”
A gorgeous, tall, thin girl standing behind her mother came forward. “It’s very nice to finally meet you,” she said in perfect English.
Elena could see the similarities between Alex and his sister; they both had the same hazel eyes and thick dark brown hair that accentuated their natural olive skin. “Your English is perfect,” Elena remarked.
Camila blushed. “My brother insisted we all study English at a young age. Naturally, I objected at first, but he was able to convince me by telling me I would be able to watch the American movies without the subtitles, and I couldn’t refuse.”
Elena laughed because it totally sounded like something Alex would do to get his way. She glanced over at him and his eyes beamed with pride over the women in his life. A sinking feeling fell over Elena—she hated having to break his heart.
After a long day of learning all the stories from Alex’s background and trying to play the part of the perfect girlfriend, his mother and sister finally excused themselves as they headed to bed. Elena sat in the living ro
om with Alex next to her. He put his arms around her and pulled her close to his side. Elena closed her eyes. She had to do it now; prolonging it would just make it worse.
“So you missed me so much you cut out of the conference early?” Alex grinned.
Elena had to avoid looking at Alex; she was afraid her determination would falter. “I flew back home on the red-eye instead of staying the night and taking the morning flight,” she said.
“I missed you too,” he said into her hair.
Elena inhaled his scent. She had come to love him in her very own way, but the emotions she felt for Daniel were stronger than anything she had ever experienced in her life, and she wasn’t willing to let him go. She gently pulled away from Alex.
His eyebrows slanted in a frown. “What’s wrong, Elena?” he said, his tone concerned.
Elena choked back the tears. It was now or never, she thought. “I came to say goodbye.”
His hazel eyes showed the tortured dullness of disbelief. “I don’t understand?”
Elena reached out and clutched his hand. “You are absolutely everything I could have ever asked for in a man.”
Alex held on to her hand, firmly refusing to let her go. “Elena, don’t…” he pleaded.
“Please, let me finish—”
He pulled her close to him. “No, why are you doing this, Elena?” His chest was pressed against hers, and she could feel the ripple of his muscles and the strength of his arms. She did love him but not the way he deserved to be loved. “Because you deserve someone who can adore you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.” She pushed away gently from him. “And I don’t think I’m that person.”
Alex faced hardened and hurt lay in his eyes. He stood up from the couch. “Is this about Daniel?” His accent was getting stronger by the minute as his anger increased.
Elena had never been a good liar, and she didn’t think this was the moment to try and improve her skill, but she couldn’t tell him about Daniel; it would kill him and confirm all the warnings he had given her the last month about it. “This is about me.” At least that much was true.
“Mentirosa.” Liar, he accused. “Three days ago we were fine, and now after your trip, you come here to tell me that everything has changed for you? But nothing has changed for me, Elena. I still love you. And if you have suddenly decided that you no longer feel anything for me, then I think I deserve a little better reason than the ‘I’m a good guy’ bullshit explanation,” he barked.
She knew he had a right to be angry. “I’m sorry, Alex. I never meant to hurt you.” There was nothing else she could say without implicating her feelings for Daniel.
Alex nodded his head. “So, this is it then? You’ve made up your mind, and there is nothing I can say or do to make you change it?” His voice was resigned.
Elena’s heart was breaking. She felt terrible hurting this man who had been nothing but wonderful to her. If Daniel had never come into her life again, then maybe they could have been happy together and had the family Alex talked about, but she knew she could no longer deny the evidence of her feelings for Daniel. She had to give her heart the chance to explore her relationship with Daniel because she didn’t want to live the rest of her life looking behind her shoulder wondering what it would have been like to love him. Even if her decision meant giving up Alex. “I never meant for this to end this way, I swear.”
Alex’s gaze clung to hers, saying the goodbyes she knew he couldn’t say out loud. She walked up to him and stood on her tip toes and gave him one last kiss goodbye on his cheek. He didn’t reject her but instead brought her into his arms and held her tight in one last embrace. “Siempre estaras en mi corazon.” You’ll always be in my heart, he whispered into her ear.
Elena wiped the tears from her face as she walked away from him with a heavy heart. She had said goodbye to a good man and sincerely hoped he would one day forgive her for what she had done. If only she would have accepted her feelings for Daniel sooner, she could have spared Alex this pain and avoided losing Daniel. She had wished for love all her life, and she had blown it—big time.
Elena feared going into work. She had tossed and turned all night long wondering what she would do when she saw Daniel and Alex again. She had made a mess of things, and maybe it was best if she just found a job elsewhere, but where? She was tired of starting over again and just wanted a place to finally call home. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she sat in the parking lot like a coward, not wanting to face her demons. One thing she knew for sure: she had to win Daniel back. She took a sip of her strong cup of black coffee and headed into the building. It was six a.m. and still dark outside. They didn’t open till eight, but Elena needed to get an early start and needed the extra time to plan her next move. She walked into the dark building and noticed John’s light on. She wondered what he was doing in so early. She wandered over to his office and poked her head in. “Good morning,” Elena said into his office.
“Welcome back, Elena,” he said with half a smile. His shoulders slumped forward, and his face looked tired.
Elena walked in and took the seat across from his desk. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s only six in the morning, and it has already been very eventful around here.” He laid the documents he had been reading aside and picked up his cup of coffee.
“Anything I can help with?”
John sighed as if he was starting to feel the effects of his age. “I wish. Daniel came in yesterday and submitted his resignation. Didn’t give much of a reason, just said that it was time for him to move on.”
Elena’s eyelashes flew up. He had left her without even saying goodbye? The first time he had sent her a world away, and now he was doing it again before they even had a chance. “John, I’m sorry, but there is something that I must take care of.” Elena shot up from the seat and almost ran out the door. She hoped John wouldn’t think she was a total lunatic. Then again, she was running after Daniel, so she must not be in control of her full senses.
Elena sped down Highway 16 toward Daniel’s apartment. She kept looking in her rear view mirror to make sure she wasn’t being followed by the police. She felt like she was on an hourglass timer and when the last particle of sand fell through, everything would come falling apart. Her car would turn into a pumpkin, and she would be left in rags on the side of the road licking her wounds. She turned into his parking lot and quickly ran up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. She stood in front of his door, bent over and out of breath. She made a mental note she needed to start working out again. After she was able to speak without breathing heavily, she rang the doorbell. She adjusted her jacket and fixed her hair while she waited for the door to open. She reached into her purse for a last-minute lipstick touch up.
“Ma’am, are you looking for Mr. Grant?”
Elena looked down to see an elderly gentleman at the bottom of the steps. “Yes, I am. Have you seen him?”
“Saw him earlier this morning. He was moving out his things.”
Elena felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. “Did he say where he was going, by any chance?” She refused to believe she had lost him forever.
“Nope. He just said goodbye,” the man said. “It’s a shame; we all liked him around here, but life goes on, I guess.”
“I guess,” Elena said numbly.
The man continued on his way, and Elena was grateful to be alone. After calling trying to call Daniel on her cell phone only to find out his number was no longer valid, she took off her high heels and sat at the edge of the stairs in front of Daniel’s empty apartment. She felt drained, hollow and lifeless. She had lost it all because she had been too stubborn to admit her feelings for him. Life had given her another chance, and she had blown it. But if life had taught her one thing, it was to fight. She refused to give up; she would look for him to the ends of the earth if she had to. She picked up her heels and with renewed determination, she headed down the stairs back to her car.
In the weeks that followed, Elena must have called every aviation company and airline in Washington State and had come up empty-handed. She had even enlisted the help of Kat’s husband to reach out to his detective friends to track Daniel down, but it was like he had disappeared from the face of the earth. Elena sat in front of her computer at home, searching the Internet yet again for anything that might lead her to Daniel. Her cell phone rang, and she picked up without even looking at the number, hoping to hear news of Daniel’s whereabouts.
“Hello,” Elena answered anxiously into the phone.
“Am I speaking with Elena Garcia?” the female voice on the other side of the phone said.
This was it. Elena thought. She finally broke through and would have some news about Daniel. “Yes, this is she,” she replied eagerly.
“My name is Chloe Fitcher. I’m an editor with Bookkeep publishing. I wanted to touch base with you regarding your manuscript. I’m going to be in Seattle next week and would love to meet with you if you’re available.”
Elena knew she should be jumping up and down at the opportunity to meet with an editor, but her heart sank with disappointment that it wasn’t about Daniel. “Yes, I’m available.” Elena grabbed a pen and wrote down the details of their appointment. She hung up the phone with mixed emotions. She was afraid to take this next step of her life without finding Daniel first. She wanted him to be part of this, and celebrating the possibility of getting her book published seemed bittersweet.
The following week, Elena headed to Seattle to meet with Chloe. She arrived at a small cafe by the Seattle ferry pier ten minutes late. Traffic had been horrendous, and Elena was afraid she had blown her chance to make a good impression. She looked around and spotted a redheaded lady in a black business suit sitting by the window.
“Hi, I’m so sorry I’m late, you must be Chloe.”
The Man of My Dreams Page 18