by W. W. Jacobs
of 'em.Ted nipped in first and Gerty followed 'im.
"Tell 'im the address, dear, and make 'aste and get in," ses Gerty.
George told the cabman, and then he got in and sat on Ted's knee, partlyon Gerty's umbrella, and mostly on nothing.
"You are good to me, George," ses Gerty, touching the back of 'is neckwith the brim of her hat. "It ain't often I get a ride in a cab. Allthe time I was keeping company with Bob we never 'ad one once. I onlywish I'd got the money to pay for it."
George, who was going to ask a question, stopped 'imself, and then hekept striking matches and trying to read all about cab fares on a bill infront of 'im.
"'Ow are we to know 'ow many miles it is?" he ses, at last.
"I don't know," ses Gerty; "leave it to the cabman. It's his bisness,ain't it? And if 'e don't know he must suffer for it."
There was hardly a soul in Gerty's road when they got there, but aforeGeorge 'ad settled with the cabman there was a policeman moving the crowdon and arf the winders in the road up. By the time George had paid 'imand the cabman 'ad told him wot 'e looked like, Gerty and Ted 'addisappeared indoors, all the lights was out, and, in a state o' mind thatwon't bear thinking of, George walked 'ome to his lodging.
"Afore George had settled with the cabman, there was apoliceman moving the crowd on."]
Bob was asleep when he got there, but 'e woke 'im up and told 'im aboutit, and then arter a time he said that he thought Bob ought to pay arfbecause he 'ad saved 'is life.
"Cert'nly not," ses Bob. "We're quits now; that was the arrangement.I only wish it was me spending the money on her; I shouldn't grumble."
George didn't get a wink o' sleep all night for thinking of the money he'ad spent, and next day when he went round he 'ad almost made up 'is mindto tell Bob that if 'e liked to pay up the money he could 'ave Gertyback; but she looked so pretty, and praised 'im up so much for 'isgenerosity, that he began to think better of it. One thing 'e wasdetermined on, and that was never to spend money like that agin for fiftyGertys.
There was a very sensible man there that evening that George liked verymuch. His name was Uncle Joe, and when Gerty was praising George to 'isface for the money he 'ad been spending, Uncle Joe, instead o' lookingpleased, shook his 'ead over it.
"Young people will be young people, I know," he ses, "but still I don'tapprove of extravagance. Bob Evans would never 'ave spent all that moneyover you."
"Bob Evans ain't everybody," ses Mrs. Mitchell, standing up for Gerty.
"He was steady, anyway," ses Uncle Joe. "Besides, Gerty ought not to ha'let Mr. Crofts spend his money like that. She could ha' prevented it ifshe'd ha' put 'er foot down and insisted on it."
He was so solemn about it that everybody began to feel a bit upset, andGerty borrowed Ted's pocket-'andkerchief, and then wiped 'er eyes on thecuff of her dress instead.
"Well, well," ses Uncle Joe; "I didn't mean to be 'ard, but don't do itno more. You are young people, and can't afford it."
"We must 'ave a little pleasure sometimes," ses Gerty.
"Yes, I know," ses Uncle Joe; "but there's moderation in everything.Look 'ere, it's time somebody paid for Mr. Crofts. To-morrow's Saturday,and, if you like, I'll take you all to the Crystal Palace."
Gerty jumped up off of 'er chair and kissed 'im, while Mrs. Mitchell saidshe knew 'is bark was worse than 'is bite, and asked 'im who was wastinghis money now?
"You meet me at London Bridge Station at two o'clock," ses Uncle Joe,getting up to go. "It ain't extravagance for a man as can afford it."
He shook 'ands with George Crofts and went, and, arter George 'ad stayedlong enough to hear a lot o' things about Uncle Joe which made 'im thinkthey'd get on very well together, he went off too.
They all turned up very early the next arternoon, and Gerty was dressedso nice that George couldn't take his eyes off of her. Besides her therewas Mrs. Mitchell and Ted and a friend of 'is named Charlie Smith.
They waited some time, but Uncle Joe didn't turn up, and they all gotlooking at the clock and talking about it, and 'oping he wouldn't make'em miss the train.
"Here he comes!" ses Ted, at last.
Uncle Joe came rushing in, puffing and blowing as though he'd bust."Take 'em on by this train, will you?" he ses, catching 'old o' George bythe arm. "I've just been stopped by a bit o' business I must do, andI'll come on by the next, or as soon arter as I can."
He rushed off again, puffing and blowing his 'ardest, in such a hurrythat he forgot to give George the money for the tickets. However, Georgeborrowed a pencil of Mrs. Mitchell in the train, and put down on paper'ow much they cost, and Mrs. Mitchell said if George didn't like toremind 'im she would.
They left young Ted and Charlie to stay near the station when they got tothe Palace, Uncle Joe 'aving forgotten to say where he'd meet 'em, buttrain arter train came in without 'im, and at last the two boys gave itup.
"We're sure to run across 'im sooner or later," ses Gerty. "Let's 'avesomething to eat; I'm so hungry."
George said something about buns and milk, but Gerty took 'im up sharp."Buns and milk?" she ses. "Why, uncle would never forgive us if wespoilt his treat like that."
She walked into a refreshment place and they 'ad cold meat and bread andpickles and beer and tarts and cheese, till even young Ted said he'd 'adenough, but still they couldn't see any signs of Uncle Joe. They went onto the roundabouts to look for 'im, and then into all sorts o' shows atsixpence a head, but still there was no signs of 'im, and George had 'adto start on a fresh bit o' paper to put down wot he'd spent.
"I suppose he must ha' been detained on important business," ses Gerty,at last.
"Unless it's one of 'is jokes," ses Mrs. Mitchell, shaking her 'ead."You know wot your uncle is, Gerty."
"There now, I never thought o' that," ses Gerty, with a start; "p'r'apsit is."
"Joke?" ses George, choking and staring from one to the other.
"I was wondering where he'd get the money from," ses Mrs. Mitchell toGerty. "I see it all now; I never see such a man for a bit o' fun in allmy born days. And the solemn way he went on last night, too. Why, hemust ha' been laughing in 'is sleeve all the time. It's as good as aplay."
"Look here!" ses George, 'ardly able to speak; "do you mean to tell me henever meant to come?"
"I'm afraid not," ses Mrs. Mitchell, "knowing wot he is. But don't youworry; I'll give him a bit o' my mind when I see 'im."
George Crofts felt as though he'd burst, and then 'e got his breath, andthe things 'e said about Uncle Joe was so awful that Mrs. Mitchell toldthe boys to go away.
"How dare you talk of my uncle like that?" ses Gerty, firing up.
"You forget yourself, George," ses Mrs. Mitchell. "You'll like 'im whenyou get to know 'im better."
"Don't you call me George," ses George Crofts, turning on 'er. "I'vebeen done, that's wot I've been. I 'ad fourteen pounds when I was paidoff, and it's melting like butter."
"Well, we've enjoyed ourselves," ses Gerty, "and that's what money wasgiven us for. I'm sure those two boys 'ave had a splendid time, thanksto you. Don't go and spoil all by a little bit o' temper."
"Temper!" ses George, turning on her. "I've done with you, I wouldn'tmarry you if you was the on'y gal in the world. I wouldn't marry you ifyou paid me."
"Oh, indeed!" ses Gerty; "but if you think you can get out of it likethat you're mistaken. I've lost my young man through you, and I'm notgoing to lose you too. I'll send my two big cousins round to see youto-morrow."
"They won't put up with no nonsense, I can tell you," ses Mrs. Mitchell.
She called the boys to her, and then she and Gerty, arter holding their'eads very high and staring at George, went off and left 'im alone. Hewent straight off 'ome, counting 'is money all the way and trying to makeit more, and, arter telling Bob 'ow he'd been treated, and trying hard toget 'im to go shares in his losses, packed up his things and cleared