Mami and Papi fight often. We can hear them from our bedroom sometimes. They fight about the usual things—Mami working, Papi training with the military, Mami spending too much money, Papi not planning ahead. Maybe it is normal for husbands and wives to fight. I sure hope it doesn’t mean anything more than that, though. A divorce always makes the children miss one of the parents. Look what has happened to Alina and Jane.
Thursday, 8th of February
I really miss using the phone. At the end of the school day I have so much to tell Jane that I feel I’m bursting with news. But then I’ve got to hold it all night until I see her in homeroom the next morning. I should have known we would eventually get caught.
Ileana has been very quiet this week. I wonder if she has talked to Tommy about our punishment.
Two more days until I can use the phone again.
Saturday, 10th of February
Papi got hurt during one of his military training exercises. It wasn’t serious, but he came home early this weekend, with a swollen ankle. Tío Pablo told him he had to stay off his feet as much as possible for the next few days. Mami is furious.
I’m glad he came home, though. This afternoon, he and I ate this brown spread—los americanos call it peanut butter—on soda crackers from the Cuban bakery and laughed about the way it stuck to the roofs of our mouths. “Silly, silly girl,” he called me, and gave me a big hug.
Monday, 12th of February
Today when we were helping Abuelo Tony exercise, he asked Ana Mari and me what we remembered about Cuba. I told him about my school and the tile on the kitchen counter and the narrow cobblestone streets in Old Havana and the white sand on the beach of Santa María del Mar and the buttery taste of the Panque Jamaica cupcakes, and the two cane-back rocking chairs on our porch and the wrought-iron front gate that creaked and my pink chenille bedspread and the tall, tall palms on the winding road to my uncle’s farm and the guarapo juice we would drink in the little bodega the next block over. Actually, we remembered a lot.
“I hope you will always remember your homeland in that way,” he told us. His voice sounded funny, like he was about to cry. Then Ana Mari reminded Abuelo that Papi said we might be back home by summer because the people in the island no longer want a bad government and they are tired of not having enough to eat and having to wait in line for everything, including toilet paper. So Abuelo opened his mouth to say something, but he seemed to change his mind. He just motioned for us to keep walking. Later we stopped by a tree with yellow flowers and he asked us its name. “Christmas candle tree,” I shouted immediately. Abuelo clapped his hands. Then he told us the name in Latin, but I have already forgotten.
I have been thinking about what Abuelo said about never forgetting your homeland. Sometimes I worry that I will, because I close my eyes and there are faces and places, even decorations in our house, that I cannot remember in detail. It makes me worry about whether or not I have a home. And I mean home, not house. I have a house in Cuba, in my neighborhood of La Víbora, but I also have a house here. Which one is really home?
I asked Ileana this after dinner tonight, and she looked at me as if I had just landed in a spaceship. Then she sat close to me on the old pea-green sofa and hugged me. I don’t know whatever for, because she hasn’t done that in a long, long time. She didn’t say anything, just patted me on the back. But finally she spoke, and the more I think about her words, the more I realize she is right. She told me that home is where the heart is. It is where your loved ones are and where you feel comfortable hanging around in your pajamas with curlers in your hair. Well then, that means I have a home here and a home across the ocean there, always there.
Monday, 19th of February
I did not forget you. I was just too busy to write. Between homework, cleaning the house, and helping Abuelo to exercise, all my time seems taken up. Then to add to all this, Mami and Tía Carmen got a new order for embroidered sweaters. The man from the factory was so happy with their work that he brought over double the amount from the first time. This means that Mami and Tía Carmen have asked us to help by organizing the sequins and pearls in a special way that makes it easier to sew them on the sweaters. Ileana and I also help pin the design patterns on the front. Ileana said that if she can do this for free, then she should get a job for money at the Grand Union as a checkout girl. Mami said she was much too young, though now she is seventeen, the same age Efraín was when he began working at the Tandy craft store. Boys are different, Tía Carmen and Mami said at the same time. Not in this country, Ileana told them right back.
Tuesday, 20th of February
Papi got a raise. He was moved to the purchasing department in the hospital, too, where he has more work. For dinner he took us to a hamburger place on Northwest Seventh Street called Burger Castle. It has a giant lighted statue of a man with a crown on his head. We ate hamburgers, french fries, and milkshakes. What a splurge!
Wednesday, 21st of February
Efraín has found a job for Ileana at the craft store where he works. Now she wants me to help convince Mami and Papi to allow her to do this. I think this is a wonderful opportunity because if Efraín can work, so should Ileana. But my parents will never listen to that reasoning. I am sure they will come up with some excuse. Why do I know this? Because when I talked to Mami about the car trip this summer, she told me she would have to discuss it with Papi. Well I know what he is going to say.
Friday, 23rd of February
I hate to say this, but I was right. Papi refused to allow Ileana to work with Efraín. He said she was much too young and inexperienced, especially if she planned to work in a city full of wolves. That’s just how he said it. What wolves? She would be working with Efraín and his boss and the boss’s wife. We have already met them, and they are very nice. They have been good to Efraín, too. I can only imagine what Papi will tell me when I bring up the subject of Jane’s grandparents’ trip again.
Ileana argued that she would always be inexperienced if she remained imprisoned in her own home. Mami defended her, which surprised me, but Papi would not budge. He can be so mean sometimes. Whoever made him the boss? I wish Mami would stand up to him more. She is always skulking around so as not to upset him. I wonder what he will say when he finds out that Mami has learned to drive with Efraín and Tía Carmen. He better not cause a scene. Instead, he better be proud of her. Mami is trying so hard to be brave and to adapt to this new life.
Saturday, 24th of February
Papi bought a car! It was a big surprise. He didn’t say a word to anybody when he and Mami left this morning to run errands. We thought they were going to visit somebody in the hospital because we were not allowed to go along, but the last thing I ever thought could happen was this. Our very own automobile!
It is a 1954 Plymouth station wagon, and Papi bought it from the father of a man who works with him. It is green, and the inside is in good shape for being an old car. The three of us girls fit comfortably in the back. Papi drove us around the block and over to Tío Pablo’s, and then everybody took turns going for a ride, even Abuela María, who whooped and hollered like a little girl. After Tía Carmen made café, Mami told Papi she had something to show him. He gave her a funny look, and we all went outside to watch as Mami got into the driver’s side and took Papi on his own ride. When they returned, he was pale. Papi told Tía Carmen that she had done a good job teaching Mami to drive but that Mami needed more practice making turns. Scared him half to death when she took a right turn going too fast, he said. Tío Pablo and Abuelo Tony punched Papi in the arm and slapped him on the back. I was surprised but also relieved that he was not angry.
Now that we have a car, I suppose it means that we are not going back to Cuba anytime soon.
Tuesday, 27th of February
There is a new boy in class. He is so cute! Jane nearly faints every time he walks by her. He is Cuban, but he is from somewhere up north. He is in almost all my classes, but I do not dare talk to him. I wouldn’t know what to s
ay. Besides, I worry about how I look. One day my face appears normal, like it belongs to me. Other days, I look in the mirror and my nose is too big and my mouth looks crooked and one eye is smaller than the other. I also wish my hair weren’t so straight. It droops down over my ears like short wet noodles. Maybe I need another haircut. Or maybe I should grow it out again. Good thing I do not have any pimples. Poor Alina!
Wednesday, 28th of February
When Ileana gets something in her head, she won’t let it go. Today again she asked if she could work with Efraín. And again Papi said no. Can I expect any different with my request for the car trip?
I finally asked her about Tommy, and she shrugged her shoulders. “Who would want a girlfriend who can’t go anywhere?” she asked me. “I might as well be in jail.” If Tommy isn’t her boyfriend anymore, she probably won’t participate in any protest marches against the war. Thank goodness! Papi would be very upset if she did something like that.
Thursday, 29th of February
This is unbelievable! Absolutely unbelievable! When I was walking with Abuelo Tony, we ran into that new boy from school. His name is Juan Carlos, and he lives two blocks from my uncle’s house. Jane is right. He is very cute, but I am taller than he is. And his voice is kind of squeaky. We talked to him for a few minutes. Actually, Abuelo talked to him, and he was very polite. I was too embarrassed and stared at the cracks in the sidewalk.
Friday, 1st of March
We did not see Juan Carlos on our afternoon walk, but Abuelo showed us the parts of a flower from an ixora bush. I already knew their names in Spanish and now, because of Abuelo, I know them in Latin. I suppose soon I will learn them in English, too. Three languages—imagine.
Saturday, 2nd of March
We went to the most fantastic store today. It is called La Tijera and it’s on Flagler Street and Twelfth Avenue. Mami and Tía Carmen came here to buy things for the house when we first moved. Everything is made just the way they were in Cuba. We saw Cuban-style mops, wash pans, coffee cups, and aluminum drinking cups to boil milk. I almost felt like I was back on the island. Truth is, of course, no store back on the island would have had so many goods on the shelves. Besides, people would not have been able to buy anything unless they had the correct ration coupon.
Though we looked at a lot of things, we bought only what we needed. Tía Carmen got herself a meat grinder just like the one she had in Cuba. Mami needed a washboard and a wooden mortar and pestle to smash garlic. She also bought an aluminum mold for flan and a wood plantain-chip maker. I hope Papi doesn’t complain that these necessities were a waste of money. Those are usually the first words out of his mouth when we show him any purchase—even toilet paper!
Before we left, Tía Carmen pointed to the men, three brothers, who own the store. They opened it when they realized people like my parents needed household stuff but preferred to buy what they recognized. She said that if you drive around Flagler or Southwest Eighth Street, there are lots of little shops opened by Cubans in the past three or four years. There is a Chinese Cuban restaurant, a religious goods store, several bakeries, and even a botanica that sells supplies for priests of Santeria. I wonder if Papi has seen these shops. If so, what must he think? I know what I think: Those people won’t be returning to Cuba anytime soon.
Sunday, 3rd of March
I played dominoes with the grown-ups today and won. I was Papi’s partner because Mami was in the kitchen scrubbing the dirty pans from our big Sunday lunch. Usually Tío Pablo and Tía Carmen win because they are very good domino players, and they are also lucky. Efraín and Ileana sometimes play, but they don’t pay much attention to the game. Actually, Efraín usually partners with Abuelo Tony, but Abuelo was too tired and took a nap instead. So Efraín convinced Ileana to stop looking through her fashion magazines and be a good cousin—which meant he wanted her as partner. Good cousin or not, the two of them played horribly together. Ileana didn’t pay much attention to the game, so she didn’t keep track of which player lacked which number. To me, that is the whole challenge of the game.
When we lived in Cuba, my family used to play dominoes every winter Sunday after mass and lunch. Both sets of grandparents and uncles participated. Cousins, too. The matches took hours, especially if only the men played and smoked their cigars and sipped their café. Abuela always used to make a flan, and Tía Carmen’s specialty was torejas.
Thinking about all this makes me very hungry. My mouth is watering for the syrup of the torejas. I realize I have not eaten any since we arrived in Miami.
Monday, 4th of March
Remember the two men in gray suits who took Papi to their office for questioning several months ago? They showed up on our doorstep again tonight, this time with a third man who speaks Spanish. In the middle of us doing homework and Mami and Tía Carmen sewing the sequins on the sweaters, no less.
They were very polite, though. They talked to Papi for almost two hours in the kitchen. Mami could hardly keep her hands steady to thread a needle. After they left, everyone pretended as if nothing had happened. Everyone but Mami, who threw the sweater into her sewing basket and marched out of the room. Papi followed her. When they both returned to the living room, I could tell they had had a fight because Mami’s lips were set tight and a vein on Papi’s forehead pulsed.
Wednesday, 6th of March
I received another perfect mark on my mathematics test. And Ana Mari was the third-best speller in the spelling bee in her class. She got a yellow ribbon, and Mami showed it off to the whole family.
Thursday, 7th of March
Tonight at dinner Papi surprised us all by announcing that after much thought he has decided to allow Ileana to work with Efraín at the craft store—as long as it does not interfere with her studies. He said that last part as if it were in capital letters. I think Mami knew something about this beforehand, but Ileana and the rest of us were caught off guard. You should have seen Ileana’s face. Eyes wide then narrowing with suspicion, she looked like the black beans and rice inside her mouth had turned too hot. As soon as dinner was over, she phoned Efraín. They agreed she would meet him at the craft store after school tomorrow.
Saturday, 9th of March
Ileana began work today. She came home wearing a white apron and her hair tied back in a bun. She looked very grown-up. She let me watch all the shows I wanted on the television and did not complain to Mami once.
Also today, Mami took her driver’s license test and is now allowed to drive the car. She is so proud of herself that she beams like a lighthouse. She is trying to practice as much as she can, driving herself to the Grand Union or to the pharmacy—anywhere to do an errand. She always invites us to come along, but truth is, sometimes I get nervous when she drives. She concentrates so hard on the road and the steering wheel that her face is all scrunched up. She doesn’t let us put the radio on, either, or even talk among ourselves. Not at all like Papi, who sometimes drives with his right hand while his left arm hangs out the open window. He has a funny tan line from that.
Finally, another important event: Tío Pablo took the last of his licensing examinations to become a doctor in this country. He won’t know the results right away, but he thinks he did well. I hope so. He has studied a lot.
Tuesday, 12th of March
I am trying to help Alina as much as I can with her homework, and she is improving tremendously in math. Her English is also getting better, but since she does not like to read, her vocabulary is limited. At Jane’s suggestion, I passed on the Nancy Drew books. Maybe she will be interested in those.
Wednesday, 13th of March
Ileana loves her job. Every night she tells us a story about a customer or about Mr. F. Everybody calls the owner by the first initial of his last name because his name is very long, and we don’t know how to pronounce it. Today a woman in a very fancy suit came to the store, and she bought three dozen purse kits with a seashell pattern. She asked them to be shipped to her home in New York. Then she gave both Efraí
n and Ileana a dollar tip!
Friday, 15th of March
I did not walk with Abuelo Tony today because after school Mami asked me to accompany her and Tía Carmen to a shop where packages of medicine are bundled and sent to Cuba. Our package contained aspirins, vitamins, cotton balls, two pairs of glasses, Mercurochrome, gauze, adhesive strips, a medicine for diarrhea, and a few other vials with names I did not recognize. When I asked Mami how much all that costs to mail, she said, “An eye in your head.” Later, though, she told me that the package was worth every penny because my grandparents cannot find any of those medicines in Cuba. As we were leaving, more and more people were lining up in the store to send their relatives what they need. Tía Carmen said that on Saturdays you cannot even get in the door because it is so busy.
Flight to Freedom Page 9