“And yet you waited all these years to come forward. It seems to me like you’re hiding something. I think—”
A loud rap on the one-way glass interrupted him. Duke’s jaw tightened and he closed the folder with his paperwork. “I’ll be back,” he said. He got up and left the room.
Julianne wasn’t certain what had happened, but she was relieved for the break. It took a lot out of her to tell that story. Whether or not he backed down and dismissed the charges as self-defense, she knew she would have to tell that story again. And again. A part of her was terrified, but another part of her felt liberated. This secret had been like a concrete block tied around her neck. She knew it had to feel the same way to the others.
Maybe, finally, they could all stop living with the dark cloud of Tommy’s death over their heads.
* * *
They sure were slow to book him. Heath had spent hours waiting for the inevitable. He’d told them he killed Tommy. Certainly the wheels of progress should be turning by now.
Not long after that, the door opened and Sheriff Duke’s deputy, Jim, came through the door. “You can go.”
“What?” He stood up from his chair. “I can go?”
Jim came over and unlocked the handcuffs. “Yes.” He opened the door and held it.
Heath was thoroughly confused, but he wasn’t about to wait for them to change their minds. In the hallway, he found several people waiting there. He recognized the woman as Tommy Wilder’s sister, Deborah Curtis. Brody had sent them all the background report on her when she came to Cornwall asking about her brother. She was standing there with a man wearing an expensive tailored suit. He carried himself like he was important somehow, like he was her lawyer. Heath froze on the spot. Was she here to confront him for killing her brother?
Another door opened off the hallway and Julianne stepped out with a disgusted-looking Sheriff Duke at her side.
“What is going on?” Heath asked.
Julianne shook her head. “I have no clue. Duke said I was free to go.”
The man beside Deborah stepped forward. “My name is Pat Richards. I’m a prosecutor for the state of Connecticut. With the evidence I have, your testimony and that of Mrs. Curtis, the state has opted not to press charges. This situation was tragic, but obviously in self-defense. I can’t in good conscience prosecute Julianne after everything she went through.”
Heath frowned. “Prosecute Julianne? I’m the one that confessed to killing him.”
Pat smiled wide and nodded in understanding. “A noble thing, for sure, but it wasn’t necessary. The charges have been dropped. You’re both free to go.”
Sheriff Duke shook his head and disappeared down the hallway into his office with a slam of his door.
“He disagrees, I take it?”
The prosecutor chuckled. “He fancied himself the hero cracking a huge case. There’s not much crime around here for him to tackle, and this would give him the boost for his reelection. But even without Mrs. Curtis’s testimony of her own attack, there was nothing for us to go forward on.”
“What?” This time the question came from Julianne.
Deborah stepped forward, speaking for the first time. “I want you to know that I don’t harbor any ill will against you or your family. You took Tommy in when no one else would and did only what you had to do to defend yourself. I completely understand that. My brother started displaying violent tendencies before he was even twelve years old. My parents tried to control him. They punished him, they put him in therapy. They even considered one of the boot camps for troubled teens. But it wasn’t until my father came home early from work one day and caught him...attacking me...”
Julianne gasped, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. “Oh, god.” Heath wanted to go to her side, but he resisted. Despite what had happened, she might still be upset with him.
“Tommy didn’t succeed,” Deborah said, “but he would’ve raped me if my father hadn’t come home. I didn’t want to press charges, I was too embarrassed. After that, he wasn’t allowed to be alone with me. His close call didn’t stop him from getting in trouble, though. He was constantly getting picked up for one thing or another. He even did a few weeks in juvie. Eventually the state removed him from the home as a repeat juvenile offender and I tried to forget it ever happened.” She shook her head. “I never dreamed he would try to do it again. I feel awful.”
“Mrs. Curtis’s story was so similar to Julianne’s that there was no reason to believe she wasn’t telling the truth. The forensic evidence supported her version of his death. There’s not a grand jury that would indict her. Anything that happened after the fact is well past the statute of limitations.” Pat looked down the hall at the sheriff’s office and shook his head. “Sheriff Duke might not be happy, but the only real crime here was committed by the deceased a long time ago. As much as I’d like to, I can’t charge a dead man with second-degree sexual assault.”
The words hung in the air for a moment. Heath let them sink into his mind. Pat meant attempted sexual assault, right? Attempted. Julianne had sworn that Tommy hadn’t... And yet, why would a traumatized young girl want to tell him something like that? She wouldn’t.
And then it hit him like he’d driven his Porsche into a brick wall. In an instant, every moment made sense. Every reaction Julianne ever had. Their wedding night...
How could he have missed this? It was so obvious now that he felt like a fool. And a first-class ass. He’d believed what she told him despite all the signs indicating otherwise. All these years he’d been angry with her while she’d carried this secret on her own.
“I’m going to have a talk with the local child services agency. There is a major breach in conduct if they didn’t share the information about Deborah’s assault with Mr. and Mrs. Eden before they placed Tommy there. They might not have taken him in if they’d known.” The phone on Pat’s hip rang and he looked down at the screen. “If you’ll excuse me,” he said, disappearing through the double doors.
After a few silent, awkward moments, Deborah spoke again, this time to Julianne. “Mr. Richards and I were listening in the observation room while you told your story,” she said. “You are so much braver than I ever could have been. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger. If I had been, I would’ve pressed charges or talked to people about what happened and this might never have happened to you.”
Julianne approached Deborah and embraced her. The two women held each other for a moment. “This is not your fault. Don’t you ever think that. I’ve kept this a secret, too. It’s hard to tell people the truth, even though you didn’t do anything wrong.”
When Julianne pulled away, Deborah dabbed her eyes with a tissue and sniffed. “You know, I came back to Cornwall to track down Tommy, but I wasn’t looking for a happy family reunion. My therapist had recommended I find him so I could confront my fears and move on. He had vanished, but I expected him to be in jail or working at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. This,” she said, waving her hand around, “was more than I ever planned to uncover. But it’s better, I think. I don’t have to be afraid of Tommy anymore. He’s never going to show up on my doorstep and he’ll never be able to hurt me or my little girl. I’m happy I was able to help with your case, too. It makes me feel like I have more power and control over my life than ever before.”
Heath stood quietly while the two women spoke. He had so many things he wanted and needed to say to Julianne, but now wasn’t the time. They eventually moved down the hallway, making their way out of the police station.
He was relieved to step outside. It was cold, but the sun was shining. It was like an omen; Noah’s rainbow signaling that all of this was finally over. They no longer had to worry about the police coming after them. It was in the past now, where it belonged.
At least most of it. With the truth out, the papers would no doubt pick up the story. They needed to sit down with Mom and Dad and tell them what had happened before some woman cornered Molly at the grocery store. Hopefully Ke
n’s heart could withstand the news now that the threat of his children’s incarceration was behind them.
Heath whipped out his phone to text his brothers, but found that wasn’t enough. He needed to call them. He and Julianne both, to share the news. He wished he could give Julianne time to prepare, but the truth was out. They had protected her as well as they could over the years, but now she would have to tell her story. First to her family, then to the public. Perhaps after all this time, the blow of it would soften. He couldn’t imagine the tiny, thirteen-year-old Julianne talking to police and reporters about killing her attacker. Her rapist.
His stomach still ached painfully at that thought. If he had only come across the two of them a few minutes sooner. He might have stopped Tommy before he could have... He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. He already believed he failed to protect Julianne, but he had no idea the extent of the damage that was caused. And by keeping Tommy’s death a secret, they had virtually forced her to keep the rape a secret as well, and hadn’t even known it. Had their attempt to protect her only made it worse?
The bile started to rise in the back of his throat. She should have been taken to the doctor. To a therapist. She should’ve been able to cry in her mother’s arms and she was never able to do any of that.
His knees started to weaken beneath him, so Heath moved quickly to sit on the steps. He would wait there until Julianne and Deborah were done talking. Maybe by then, he could pull himself together.
After a while, Deborah embraced Julianne again, and then she made her way down the sidewalk to her car. Julianne watched her walk away and then finally turned to look at him. It was the first time she’d done that since they’d all gathered inside the police station. She walked over to the steps and sat down beside him.
Minutes passed before either of them spoke. They had shared so much together, and yet when it came to the important things, they knew almost nothing about each other.
“Thank you,” she said at last.
That was the last thing he ever expected her to say. “Why on earth would you be thanking me right now?”
“Thank you for loving me,” she elaborated. “No matter what we’ve said or done to each other over the years, when it was important, you were there for me. You probably don’t think so, but the truth is that you would have gone to jail for me today. You’ve spent the last sixteen years covering for me, even lying to your own brothers about what happened that day. You looked Sheriff Duke in the eye and told him you killed Tommy, consequences be damned. How many people are lucky enough to have someone in their life that is willing to do that for them?”
“That’s what families do. They protect each other.” He watched the traffic drift by the main thoroughfare for a moment. He couldn’t turn to face her while he spoke or he might give away the fact that his feelings for her ran much deeper than that. No matter what happened between them, he would always love Julianne. He couldn’t seem to stop. Knowing the truth only made it harder not to love her more. All his reasons for keeping her at arm’s length were nullified. But they were divorced. What did that matter now?
“You went far beyond family obligation, Heath.”
“Why didn’t you tell me what happened, Jules? You could’ve told me the truth.”
“No,” she said, softly shaking the blond curls around her shoulders. “I couldn’t. You had me on this pedestal. I couldn’t bear for you to know how flawed I was. How broken I was.”
“As though what happened was your fault?”
“It wasn’t my fault. I know that. But it wasn’t your fault, either. If you knew, you would’ve blamed yourself. And you’d never look at me the same way again. I didn’t want to lose that. You were the only person in my life that made me feel special. Mom and Dad loved me, but I always felt like I wasn’t enough for them. You only wanted me. I wanted to stay that perfect vision in your mind.”
“By making me despise you? You made me stay up nights wondering what I’d done wrong. Christ, I divorced you.”
Julianne turned to look at him with a soft smile curling her lips. “I tried to push you away, but you still loved me. All this time, that was the one thing I kept hoping would change. I couldn’t tell you the truth, so I knew there would always be a barrier between us. I kept hoping you’d move on and find someone who could love you the way you deserved to be loved. The way you loved me.”
He shook his head. He didn’t want anyone else to love him. All he had ever wanted was for Julianne to love him. And the way she spoke convinced him that she did. Maybe she had all this time, but the secret she kept was too big. It was easier to keep away than be subjected to his constant needling about why she left him. But to push him into another woman’s arms because she loved him? “I still don’t understand what you’re thinking sometimes, Jules.”
“I know.” She patted his knee and stood up. “Let’s go home. We have some long conversations to have with the family.”
He got up and followed her to the street. She was right. And he had one important conversation with Ken in mind that she wouldn’t be expecting.
Twelve
It was over. Good and truly over.
Julianne slipped into her coat and went out onto the porch to gather herself. The last hour had been harder than confessing the truth to Sheriff Duke. Looking her parents in the eye and telling them everything had been excruciating. Not for her, but she hated to burden them with the truth.
They had taken it better than she expected. Ken got quiet and shook his head, but his color was good and he remained stable. When it was over he’d hugged her tighter than he’d ever hugged her in her entire life. Molly cried a lot. Julianne expected that she would continue to for a while. Her mother was a mother hen. Knowing that had happened to her children under her watch would eat at her for a long time. Maybe always. But Julianne assured her that she was okay, it was a long time ago, and it seemed to calm her.
As she stepped onto the gravel lot behind the house, Julianne looked out at the trees. She had loved being out there once but hadn’t set foot in the fields in sixteen years. The boogeyman was long gone. Most of her own personal demons had been set loose today. She took a deep breath and headed for the north field. That was where she’d been that day. If she were going to face this, she needed to go there.
It didn’t take long to find the spot, but it took a while to walk out there. The trees were different, always changing as they were harvested and replanted. There were no monsters in the trees, no men to chase her, but she could feel the change in the weight on her chest as she got closer. While Wade had hidden the body and Brody took her to shower and change, Heath and Xander had cleaned up the scene. The rock she’d hit him with was flung into the far reaches of the property. The pool of blood was long gone. But when she looked, she could still see it all.
That’s when the first snowflake drifted past her face. One flake became ten, became a thousand. In only a few minutes’ time, the tree branches were dusted with white and the bloodstain in her mind slowly disappeared beneath a layer of snow.
It was a perfect moment. A pure, white cleansing of her past. She tipped her face up, feeling the tiny prickles of flakes melting on her cheeks, and sucked in a deep, cold breath.
Over.
Julianne turned her back to the scene of her attack, putting it behind her with everything else, and started walking in the opposite direction, through the fields. For the first time since she was thirteen, she could enjoy the moment. The snow was beautiful, drifting slowly down into fluffy clumps on the branches. The flakes were getting fatter, some larger than nickels. They would have several inches sticking before too long.
She climbed up the slope of the back property, looking for her favorite place on the farm. Somehow she expected it to have changed, but when she finally reached it, everything was just as she remembered. There, jutting out of the side of the hill, was a large, flat rock. She had come out here to sit and think when she was younger. The household was always full
of kids and this was a place she could be alone.
Julianne dusted off the snow and sat down on the rock, turning to face the slope of the property laid out in front of her. To the left, she could see the roofline and lights of Wade and Tori’s house over the hill. In front of her was the whole of the Garden of Eden. Her own little paradise.
It was nearing sunset, but the fat, gray clouds blocked out the color of the sky. The light was fading, but she could still make out the rows of trees stretching in front of her. The big house, with glowing windows and black smoke rising from the chimney, lay beyond it. Then the dark shape of the bunkhouse with Heath’s silver Porsche out front.
Heath. Her ex-husband. Julianne sighed and snuggled deeper into her coat. With Sheriff Duke’s unexpected arrival, she hadn’t had much time to process her new marital status. While they had come clean about Tommy, they had deliberately opted not to tell anyone about the marriage. That was too much for one day. It might not be something they ever needed to tell. What would it matter, really? It only impacted the two of them since they were the only ones aware of it. And since it was done...it would only hurt her family to find out now.
But, like anything else in her life, keeping her feelings inside made it harder to deal with it.
Maybe if she hadn’t come back to stay in Cornwall she would feel differently about her freedom. If she hadn’t made love to him. If they hadn’t gone to Paris together. If the last month and a half never happened she might feel relieved and ready to move on her with life.
But it had happened. She had let herself get closer to Heath than she ever had in the eleven years of their marriage and then it was all done. How was she supposed to just walk away? How was she going to learn to stop loving him? Eleven years apart hadn’t done it. Was she doomed to another eleven years of quiet pining for him?
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