“Wanna bet?” He looked up and met his father’s gaze with defiance. “If I lie to you, I’ll hurt you and Mum. But if I tell you the truth, it will also hurt you both.”
“Son, whatever it is, you can tell me. Remember, I was once young like you. I remember what it was like to be in love.”
Jonah’s eyes opened wide with surprise. “Of all the women in the world, I fell for the one I shouldn’t have. But I have, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Does Felix know?”
“Yes, I told him last night.”
“I saw you two speaking outside. It seemed very amiable. I would never have guessed that you told him you were in love with his fiancée.” His father’s voice was a little shaky. Despite his bravado, Jonah was sure that his dad was concerned about the situation and the impact on their family.
“Dad, I met Kaylah last year and fell in love with her within an hour. I didn’t know she was with Felix. I swear.” He raised his hands, palms facing his father.
“Jonah, you would never do anything to hurt your brother, but you can’t have her. She’s marrying him, not you.”
His lungs ached with the knowledge. “I know. And that’s why I’m returning to Samoa and not coming back. I can’t.” His throat grew dry and his head ached as though it were being squeezed by giant hands. “I’m crazy for her. I left last year because of her, and now that they’ll be married. . .” His voice trailed off, as if he was unable to imagine the pain of seeing his brother with the woman he wanted. “It’s just too hard for me.”
“Felix has been with her for over a year. Do you think it’s a fascination you can get over?”
“I know it may seem that way, but last year when I met her, I knew. . .” He hit his chest with his fist. “I knew in my heart that I wanted to marry her.”
“Tell me why?” His dad probed. “Marriage isn’t about lust or sex. It’s about a lifetime commitment. Do you really think that you knew that within five minutes of meeting her?”
He knew James was trying to appease him and iron out the irrationality of the situation, so he didn’t get upset with his father’s frankness.
“You told me you fell in love with Mum when you met her. Why couldn’t the same happen to me?”
His father grinned. “I always told you too much. Yes, I fell in love with her but we dated before I proposed to her.”
“But Dad, I’m older than you were. You were young whereas I was twenty-nine, and had dated enough women to know she’s special.”
“She is special,” he acknowledged with a reassuring nod.
“After my heart attack, I was so thankful for the second chance at life.”
“As were we,” he assured him.
“I was attracted to Kaylah at the party because she wasn’t overly made up, she wasn’t dressed in a skin-tight dress, and had a prettiness about her that I couldn’t help but admire. But then we started talking... She’s amazing. She’d come from this terrible background and instead of focusing on how bad she had life as a teen, she’s gone on to become accomplished. She has a business, a social media presence and a knack for creating interesting life hacks.”
He stood and started to pace around the room as the stress of the situation made his blood overheat. “She’s interesting, fun to be with, down to earth, and is exactly what I have been looking for.” He stopped walking, placed his hands on the back of the kitchen chair and looked at his father. “When the doctor told me I had a second chance, I didn’t appreciate it until I met her. It was like a completed jigsaw puzzle, where all the pieces came together. For a moment I was jubilant, so happy to have met someone like her. And then,” he snapped his fingers, “Felix comes up, and it turns out, she’s his girlfriend.”
“Do you want to break up their marriage?”
“How can you ask that?” he ran his fingers through his hair. “Of course I don’t. I love Felix, you know that. But I’m also in love with his fiancée, who will be his wife tomorrow.” He gulped some air into his needy lungs. He rubbed his chest, near his heart, and he saw his father’s eyes widen with concern.
Waving away the concern, he said, “It’s okay Dad. It’s just heartache, not another heart attack.”
His father’s shoulders slumped with relief before he leaned back in his chair. “What are you going to do?”
He threw his hands up in the air. “What am I going to do?” he all but yelled in reply. “Nothing.” In a few, frustrated strides, he was seated again and drained the remainder of his espresso. “Nothing. The wedding will go ahead, but on Sunday morning, I’m leaving. I can’t stay here. You and Mum will understand, won’t you?”
His father’s face paled. “We’ll miss you. This last year hasn’t been easy without you around.”
“For me, too. I’ve missed you a lot.”
“Can’t you work things out with Kaylah? Do you have to leave us and be overseas?”
“I can’t.” His head bowed with remorse and confusion.
“Son, I’ve already asked you but are you sure it’s not a fascination, something that will pass?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I’ve thought about her, even when I was away. I look at her and my heart melts. I want to be with her, kiss her, go on picnics with her, buy furniture with her, and attend our crazy family events with her by my side. What do you think?” he looked at his dad, hoping for some practical and reassuring advice.
“Have you ever been in love? Ever felt like this before?”
Jonah shook his head.
“Unlike your brother, you didn’t date as much. You’re quieter and reserved.”
“I know, I know. The rational side of me is thinking about what you’ve said. It’s too soon. How can I feel like this after such a short time? Believe me, if you’ve got the question, I’ve already asked it of myself.”
Jonah stood and stared at the coffee machine. “Dad, you want another one?”
James nodded.
Minutes later, they both sat at the kitchen table nursing a second espresso, both in deep thought.
The older man looked at his younger son and said, “Marriage is between two people. Even if you love and want to marry Kaylah, you can’t do so unless she wants to marry you.” He paused. “Does that make sense?”
Jonah nodded with understanding. They both had to want this. “Thanks Dad, you’re right. Just because I like her doesn’t mean she feels the same way back.” He paused and gave his father a sincere look. “Just so you know, when they ask that question, the one about whether anyone objects to the marriage, I will say nothing.”
His father’s lips widened into a gentle smile. “I wouldn’t expect anything less of you. You’re a good and decent man.”
Jonah’s arm slipped and he rested it in his lap. “Seems good guys finish last.”
“I don’t know if Kaylah is the right woman for you, but you’ll find someone. I know you will.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Jonah said, his heart aching and dull. He’d already met and lost the woman he wanted. Anyone else would be a compromise.
Chapter 9
Kaylah woke on Friday morning tired and irritable. Felix had thankfully rushed out early for a work meeting but had promised to meet her later.
Tomorrow was her wedding day, and she was about to marry the man she’d just…rejected. Not once but twice. First, she’d feigned a headache and then last night, she’d been so unresponsive to his touch, he’d given up. Not only was she not interested, but he knew it.
She winced at the shame and hurt she was causing Felix.
They’d never had a problem in bed before, until now. Now that she and Jonah had spent time together, she couldn’t enjoy Felix’s touch. Not only was she as responsive as a sack of potatoes, but she was wishing it were Jonah’s fingers and tongue touching her.
Burying her head in her pillow, her heart ached with indecision and questions. She needed advice and reassurance. Lifting her head, she realised there was only one woman who could help. The one w
oman who’d been there for her over the past thirteen years, Elaine.
An hour later, they were seated at a small coffee shop that served breakfast and lunch only. Fortunately for them, it was quiet and they were able to find a table outside in the garden area that was not only shaded from the early morning sun, but gave them privacy.
“Thank you for meeting me. I need advice,” Kaylah said.
“Of all people, I didn’t expect you to have bridal jitters. You’ve been living with Felix for the past few months. I would expect you would know what he’s like. If he’s tidy around the house, replaces the toothpaste lid, is attentive to you,” she lifted her brow. “If you know what I mean.”
Kaylah fiddled with the straw of her freshly squeezed juice, unsure what to say. It didn’t seem right to talk about sex with the woman she valued as closely as a mother.
“Kaylah,” Elaine said in a firm voice.
She looked up at the older woman, surprised to hear the directness in her tone. “You can tell me anything. I’ve been looking after young women for years. Do you think there is anything that would shock me?”
“You’ve been a better mother to me than my own,” she said. “I know I can talk to you about anything…I just don’t know how to tell you.”
“Just say it. Haven’t I always told you that telling someone helps?”
She shrugged. “You’re right. That’s why we’re here, but I’m still having a hard time getting the words out.”
The older woman removed her mobile phone from her purse. “I’m going to read the newspaper and enjoy my coffee until you’re ready to talk.”
Kaylah stifled a grin at Elaine’s tactic. It had worked over the years and still did.
“I’ve fallen for Felix’s brother, Jonah, and he’s in love with me and now I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing marrying Felix.”
Elaine placed her phone face down on the table and peered at her over her glasses, a serious look in her eyes. “Your wedding day is tomorrow. You need to make a decision now.” She pointed her finger at the table to emphasise her words.
Kaylah slouched in her chair, an oppressive pressure of indecision pulverised against her. “I know. I need your help. What do I do?”
Elaine removed her glasses, placing them over her phone. Her lips were pressed together and Kaylah knew she was thinking about options.
After draining her juice, Kaylah signalled to the waitress for a large, strong café latte.
“I never married because I never found the right man to marry. For years, I focussed on my career and I loved the power and prestige. Then I retired and have looked after wayward teens since.”
“And I am thankful every day that you rescued me and gave me love.”
Elaine’s eyes clouded with tears. “Thank you, my dear. But I have to confess, I’ve met a man recently. He’s got older children and is widowed.” She cleared her throat. “I’m in my mid-sixties, which is not so old these days, but I’ve struggled as I contemplate a new chapter in my life. Being with the man I love. I want to travel, start sewing again and do some charity work with young mums or babies, I’m not sure yet.”
“You should be with him. Why is the decision so hard?” Kaylah’s problems were pushed aside as she looked at the kind woman who’d shown her so much love over the years. If it hadn’t been for her, she didn’t know where her life would’ve ended. On the streets, likely destitute.
“Colin has been very supportive and has agreed we can foster young women together but I’m selfish. I just want a tree-change or sea-change, so to speak. I want a change in my life but I feel guilty about letting young women down who may need me, or rather us.”
Kaylah could see the pain and uncertainty in her eyes, and her heart ached for the decision she had to make. “You can’t save the world.”
“But I saved you. Wasn’t that like saving the world?”
“What about your happiness?”
“What about the next girl who needs to be loved?”
“You’ve spent years looking after everyone else. You should do all the things you want to do, and not feel guilty about it. It’s your time,” Kaylah insisted, wanting her foster mum to enjoy time with Colin and have the opportunity to experience all the travelling she wanted.
Kaylah’s coffee arrived and she stirred in some sugar even though she normally drank it without. The confusion and indecision Elaine was going through matched hers. Different situations, but both had hesitation and adversity to overcome.
Kaylah looked at the woman who deserved a Nobel Prize for her dedication to making the world a better place and took her hand. “You are the most selfless person I know. You’re kind and caring, and you deserve happiness. You can’t be there for everyone but you should be there for yourself. Isn’t it time that you enjoyed your life? And travelled with Colin?”
She shook her head, obviously the reluctance to make a decision pressed heavily on her. “I keep wondering about the next girl who needs me. She could end up on the streets…or dead.”
“You can’t save everyone, I’ve been saying it for years. What you’ve achieved in your life is incredible and inspiring, but I think it’s time for you to have time to yourself.” She paused. “Tell me about Colin? I know you’ve been seeing someone, but you’ve been so secretive about it.”
A blush tinged her cheeks and Elaine looked a lot younger as she smiled in reply. “He’s five years younger than me and we met at the movies. We were both there on our own. We started talking…”
“Two souls on their own who found each other?”
“Something like that.” Elaine placed her hands in her lap. “His wife died many years ago and he raised his three children.”
“They’ve finished school?”
“Yes.”
“I’m an old woman, not like you, but I have never felt like this before. I want to be with him and forget my responsibilities.” She rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “Do I forgo everything I’ve done over the past fifteen years and be selfish?”
“You should be with him.” Kaylah could see the genuine doubt in her eyes. “What does Colin say?”
“He wants me to be happy. But he said we can foster together, if that’s what I want.” The older woman sat back in her seat and her face softened as she talked about the man she wanted to be with. “He’s been a wonderful, caring father. His children may not have had a mother but he made sure he was there for them and they had plenty of aunties, grandmothers and positive female influences in their life.”
Kaylah noticed how Elaine’s eyes lit up every time she spoke about Colin. Did her eyes light up when she talked about Felix? Her fiancé? Her heart sank with a thud. She knew the answer to that. No. Because she wasn’t marrying for love; she was marrying for different reasons.
“He sounds wonderful. I would love to meet him,” Kaylah confessed. “Why don’t you take some time off, travel with Colin and when you come back you can foster together?”
The older woman smacked her palm against her forehead. “Such an easy answer. Gosh, why didn’t I think of that?” She gave Kaylah a warm smile. “I’ll continue for now, and then take some time off. If I still want to foster, I can do it later. I can do both.” Elaine stretched her neck from side to side. “I feel so much happier now. Let’s celebrate with an almond croissant? They serve delicious pastries here.”
Kaylah chuckled. “I knew there was a reason you chose this place.” After ordering, they sat across from each other, both with decisions that would greatly impact the direction of their lives.
The older woman looked at Kaylah with kindness. “Not all the girls I’ve cared for have had such successful lives. Some returned to the streets, had broken relationships or just couldn’t cope with life.” Her brow creased with sadness, and Kaylah assumed she reflected on some of the teens who had chosen a less desirable path than she. “What’s the matter with Felix? Is he hurting you?”
“Goodness, no. He’s kind, supportive. There’s nothing w
rong with him.”
“So why aren’t you glowing like a bride-to-be and gushing over him. We talked about this when you got engaged. I know you love him but are not head over heels in love. Unlike you, I waited for love. But then I didn’t have your childhood.” She shrugged. “You chose to marry for security.”
The waitress placed their pastries in front of them, topped off their glasses of water and left.
Kaylah waited till she was out of earshot before she spoke. “You’ve been so supportive over the past year and you’re the only one who understood why I accepted Felix’s proposal.” She hadn’t told Elaine everything. That was private and only for her and Felix to know.
She fiddled with the end of her croissant so that it broke apart and the crumbs became a pile.
“If you don’t eat it, I will.” Elaine threw her a stern look, as she had so many years ago.
“Sorry,” she said, before taking a bite of the buttery pastry. “You’re right. It is delicious.” She swallowed her mouthful and continued. “I thought I was so clever. I had a career, I was about to enter into a marriage built on respect, and I would be gaining a family.”
“So what’s changed?” A troublesome look crossed the older woman’s eyes.
“I’ve fallen for his brother, like really fallen, as in, I’m thinking about him when Felix and I are kissing.” She let out a deep sigh. “And yesterday we kissed and…and, it was special. I’ve never felt like that with Felix. And last night…” Her face burned hot with discomfort.
“Spill it, Kaylah. There’s nothing you can say that would embarrass me,” the older woman snapped at her.
Sucking in a deep breath, Kaylah said, “I’m embarrassed.” She blew out a long breath. “Over the past two nights, I’ve rejected Felix…in bed.”
Elaine’s eyes opened wide. “That’s not good. You can’t start a marriage like that.”
She buried her head in her hands. “I know.”
“Look at me,” the older woman directed. “What about this Jonah? Why are you two kissing two days before the wedding? That’s not proper.”
Falling for the Best Man Page 9