He wiped his hand over his eyes and mouth and shook his head. “That is not what I do.”
I knew what was coming next and I really didn’t have time for it.
“Would you like me to explain it again?” he asked.
“No, please don’t.” I laughed and shook my head.
Max had tried several times to explain his high-tech job to me, but I still didn’t quite get it.
“I think you should quit your tinkering and come back to the Fluff and Stuff.”
“Ah, the good old Fluff and Stuff,” Max said with a slight shake of his head. “The only laundromat where I can wash my boxers and buy a box of junk.”
“Like you wear boxers.” I winked at him.
It was Max’s turn to blush a little.
“And it’s not junk, it’s unique one-of-a-kind items,” I said, always quick to defend the job that had come to mean a lot to me over the years. “I love the Fluff and Stuff. You used to love it too.”
“Right, while I was still in college, studying for my real job.”
His words stung a little and took me by surprise. I frowned as I turned away from him.
“It’s real enough to me,” I said quietly.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean it that way,” he said quickly. “I just meant—you know—when we started working there, we were both just out of high school. It was a college gig for both of us.”
“But you finished college and I couldn’t pick a major,” I said and shook my head, annoyed at where the conversation was headed. I started to push Max towards the door. “I have to get to class.”
Max turned to face me. “Sam, please. You know I didn’t mean anything by it.”
I looked back at him and couldn’t help but smile. His obvious concern for my feelings was touching.
“I know you didn’t, Max. Besides, I’m the manager now, and that’s much more important than fixing computers,” I said with a shrug.
“Sam, that is not what I do.”
“Well, whatever you do”—I waved my hand towards the door of my apartment—“go do it, so I can get ready for class.”
“Remember, just the leotard!” he hollered over his shoulder, and I could hear him laughing as he walked away.
Chapter 3
I waited until I heard the door close and then checked to be sure he was gone. As soon as it was safe, I jumped onto the bed where he had been lying, pretending he was still there next to me.
“Oh, Max, I’ll wear anything for you,” I said in my sexiest voice patting the bed beside me lightly. I snuggled a pillow close, pretending it was Max I was hugging.
Bang! I jumped when I heard a loud sound against the window by my bed.
I looked up to see Max’s face on the other side of the glass.
“Just the leotard!” he said, laughing as he turned to walk away.
I groaned and pushed my face into the pillow, hoping he hadn’t seen me acting so strange. I really needed to curb my silliness if I had any hopes of landing Max—or any man, for that matter.
As I lay there, I thought about what he’d said. He did have a valid point, actually. I had a right to walk around town in my leotard if I felt like it. I should be proud of my body, in all of its beauty. The more I thought it through, I started to think that maybe not covering myself up would be a good way to reinforce my confidence.
That was a big part of what the list was all about. It was a bucket list of sorts that I’d started when I was still at my heaviest weight. It was a list of all the things I wanted to do when I was thinner and feeling more confident about myself.
The first big change I’d made hadn’t been officially on the list, but when I entered “one-derland”—with a weigh-in that week of one hundred ninety-eight pounds—I knew that I had to celebrate by doing something big. I’d been thinking of bleaching my mousy brown hair for years, never quite sure that I could pull it off. That very next weekend, I came out of the salon feeling like a new woman—a blonde who was ready to start having way more fun than I’d been having.
So far, a few months later, I was still waiting for the fun factor to really kick in, but I didn’t regret my new look, and it helped me to realize that I didn’t need to wait to achieve some fantastic goal number before I started attacking some of these list items. I was ready to start living my new life—parts of which were now written down on the list—sooner rather than later.
The first official item on my bucket list was learning to pole dance, which was what led me to the leotard and tights in the first place. I thought there was nothing more seductive than a woman who could move and shake her body in just the right way, so I’d called a local gym and signed up for the class that I’d seen advertised. No questions asked, not giving myself a chance—so far—to back out.
I shed my jeans—noticing again how much easier they were to take on and off these days—and pulled on my tights, followed by the leotard. The tights were sheer and just a little thicker than pantyhose. The leotard was solid black. I had considered the one with the sparkles, but I didn’t want to come across as too flashy on my first day—or too much like a third grader. I smiled, already recognizing that I just was a bit silly, no use denying it.
I left my apartment knowing deep down that there would be a lot more happening at this class than just learning to dance. I did not, in fact, cover myself up, and with one last deep breath, I set out down the sidewalk proudly with my head held high. I was taking back my power as a sexy, beautiful woman. I was demonstrating that I could be comfortable and happy with my body, and this pole dancing class was going to count for my daily exercise too. So check and check!
It was a bit colder than I’d expected outside. As I walked down the sidewalk, I crossed my arms over my chest just in case the new sports bra I’d gotten on sale wasn’t carrying its end of the bargain. No need to give the neighbors a show. I’d already offended my neighbor next door just this week with my lack of knowledge about anything related to social media. How was I supposed to know that it was rude to write notes to her on her Facebook wall?
I noticed, as I walked, how unnoticed I was. At first, this calmed my rattled nerves. Then I started to get a little irritated. Here I was, a fairly attractive woman, walking down the block in just a leotard and tights, and no one even glanced in my direction. Everyone appeared too busy to even bother to notice a nearly naked crazy lady—well, I wasn’t exactly crazy, but they didn’t know this. I tried not to be offended, but really, the way I was dressed deserved a second glance.
“Would you like a sample?”
A tray was shoved directly in front of me as I was walking along the sidewalk.
I stared down at the assortment of bakery treats. There were small brownies, cookies, and what looked like a tiny slice of chocolate mousse cake.
“No, thank you.”
I continued walking forward slowly as I looked up at the man holding the tray. My heart skipped a beat. He was handsome in a very conventional way.
“It’s free,” he said, seemingly determined to tempt me further.
“No, I shouldn’t,” I said quickly and tried to step around him. He was wearing an apron that displayed a nearby bakery’s name. I knew he was only doing his job, but waving that brownie in my face was downright cruel.
Of course I could always just duck into the bakery for a bit instead of going to the class. No one would ever know.
I sighed and shook my head. I would know.
“No, thank you. I’m on my way to a class,” I said, while trying to move around the man.
For some odd reason he stepped at the same time as I did and in the same direction. I caught my foot on his foot and we both began to stumble. I grabbed his arm to try to steady myself, and in doing so, tipped the tray of bakery items. I got my footing, but the pastries went flying.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry,” I said quickly. “I’m just in a rush to get to this pole dancing class—”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized
what I’d said. I had just told this perfect stranger, who was trying to force-feed me brownies, that I was rushing off to dance on a pole.
He looked up at me with a sly smile as he collected the sweets that had fallen to the ground. “Well, you wouldn’t want to be late for that, would you?” He grinned.
I stared down at him, perplexed. I wasn’t sure if he was teasing me or agreeing with me. Either way, I had a class to get to. I had “just said no” to the brownies and I was proud of myself for that.
As I hurried the rest of the way to the class, I tried not to think of Max, brownies, or anything that made me feel less than sexy and capable.
I reached the small building and stopped just outside the door, taking a few deep breaths. Only then did I see the smattering of crumbs all over my leotard. I brushed them off, thankful that I’d noticed them before entering the gym. I took one last deep breath as I reached for the handle on the door, trying my best to remain calm.
Chapter 4
I am sexy. I am beautiful. I am comfortable in my skin, and I am proud of my body. This was the mantra that I was chanting in my head as I walked into my first pole dancing class.
When I’d been getting up the courage to sign up for the class, I’d told myself that there’d be other women my shape and size there too. After I’d walked into the room, I could see that this was not the case. At all. It was a bit hard to tell the pole from the pole dancers.
“Welcome,” a shrill voice called from the small reception desk set up in the corner of the open gym.
“I think I might be in the wrong place.” I hesitated.
The women were looking at me with funny expressions on their faces. I started to turn back toward the door, but stopped when I saw the teacher walking toward me. He couldn’t have been more than five foot five, which was several inches shorter than me. He wore a black leotard with a pink ribbon wrapped around the middle and a matching pink sweatband to hold back his perfectly trimmed brown curls. His smile was so wide that it seemed to take up his whole face. He was friendly in a way that I couldn’t ignore.
“Oh no, you’re right where you’re supposed to be. I’m Randy,” he said as he reached out to grab my hand. “Come in, come in. I’ll introduce you to the ladies.”
I gritted my teeth. The last thing I wanted to do was meet the ladies.
“Ladies, this is—” He paused and looked in my direction.
“Samantha—Sammy—Bradford.” I stumbled over my own name. It wasn’t that I was feeling insecure—it just wasn’t exactly what I’d expected. I loved my body, but it looked a little bit more sausagey than saucy when compared to these women standing in front of me.
Randy smiled at me. “Sammy, this is Mia, Mara, Melody, and Janice, my star students,” he smiled proudly.
I eyed Janice closely. She must be the black sheep.
“Now, these ladies have had a few weeks of training already, Samantha, so please understand that no one expects you to be able to do what they can do, okay?” Randy said as he walked back to the front of the group.
I nodded and settled down on the floor near Janice. The black sheep were always the best ones to sidle up to, in my experience. I hoped that she would help me break the ice so that I could begin to feel a bit more comfortable around the group.
“Mara, why don’t you show us what we learned last week?” Randy said and stepped back to watch.
“Gladly,” Mara said and lifted her chin.
I could see why. Her chin was perfect. Not too pointy, not too round, and there was only one of them.
Mara stood up, showing off her five-foot-nine, too-skinny-to-get-on-a-scale body, and wrapped her arms around the pole. Randy hit a button on the remote he had tucked into his pink ribbon, and the lights dimmed. Music began to play with a steady rhythmic thump. A bright light clicked on and shone right on the stripper pole that Mara was clinging to.
She began to gyrate her hips up against the pole as she worked her way a few feet up off the ground. I stared at her as she moved, graceful as any dancer I’d ever seen. Her long dark hair tumbled down like a waterfall when she tipped her head back and smiled at the rest of us.
Perfect, I thought. Not a word I would use to describe what I anticipated doing on the stage.
“Brilliant,” Randy said and waved her away dismissively. “Now, let’s see what Samantha has to show us. Mrow!” He feigned a cat’s paw with his hand and swiped it at me.
Seriously? I thought. He had gone from charismatically friendly to disturbingly cheesy.
I reminded myself about the list. I had come this far. I wasn’t going to quit now. This didn’t seem like your typical class, but I was willing to give it a shot.
I stepped to the front of the room, feeling nervous despite the little pep talk I’d just given myself. I turned to face the other women, knowing that they had their critical gazes focused on me. “Okay, now keep in mind that this is my first time, ladies,” I said, looking around the room, willing them to cut me a small break as I prepared to give it a good try. None of them were overly friendly, but Janice managed a small smile in my direction. “Here I go!” I plastered a big smile on my face and grabbed the pole, spinning myself around it as hard as I could.
I lost my grip during the very first spin and went sailing off the edge of the platform. I would have been mortified with just that, but no, I had to go ahead and commit a total face-plant on the gym floor.
“Oh, no. Are you okay? We don’t really have insurance for this,” Randy said, sounding nervous as he helped me up.
“I’m fine,” I squeaked out, smoothing my leotard as I tried to catch my breath and calm myself. How was I supposed to know that the pole would be so darn slippery?
“Try again.” Randy was quick to encourage me, and he seemed to be telling me with his steady eye contact to ignore the other women’s barely restrained laughter.
“I don’t know if I can,” I said, already sweaty and feeling my face grow warm under what I was sure was a nice shade of red. I couldn’t believe I had ever written this activity down on my list.
He leaned close to me and whispered in my ear. “You need to teach these skinny girls what sexy is, Samantha. You use that beautiful body, you seduce us with those curves—you get up there and show them what it means to be a woman.”
His words sunk in and I felt my heart pumping. He was right. Voluptuous—that was what I called myself. I had the sweet figure that men liked, no matter what other women might say. This was my time to prove to myself how sexy I was. This was my bucket list, not theirs!
Chapter 5
I marched back up on to the platform. I wiped my hands on my leotard and then grabbed the pole. Randy turned the music up and added a strobe-light effect. I imagined my name being announced to an adoring crowd of seedy men who had nothing better to do than spend their paychecks on half-dressed women humping poles, and I was quite proud of myself.
I could feel the music pumping through my body right along with the movement of my muscles. Everything became vivid. I could sense the pole against my palm, as if it was the only thing that mattered. I could feel the brush of air across my sweat-covered skin. I could smell the chemicals in the rubber mats on the floor and the strange cologne that the teacher was wearing. But more than anything else, I could feel my body. I could feel it pulsing with the music. I could feel every stretched muscle, every thrust hip, until my body felt as if it was flying.
I leaned so far back that my hair brushed the platform, and then slowly pulled myself back up. I hooked my leg around the pole and tried to shimmy up it a bit, before sliding back down. I didn’t get too far, but it didn’t matter; the music was still flowing through me. I spun around the pole, this time careful to keep my grip. My hair flew in my face, but I just blew it away with a sexy huff.
I was so caught up in the dance that I didn’t hear Randy. It wasn’t until he cut off the music and the lights came back on that I realized I should stop. The women seated around the platform were staring up
at me with their mouths open.
Randy had both eyebrows raised. “Well, Ms. Samantha, I think you were hiding a talent.” He laughed and clapped his hands loudly. “Maybe next class you’ll save some time for the others, though.”
“Time?” I asked with surprise as I looked around.
“You’ve been dancing for twenty minutes!” Janice said. “How did you do that thing you did?” She genuinely sounded awestruck.
“What thing?” I was very confused. How did I lose twenty minutes? I had just let my body move to the music. Had I done anything embarrassing?
“That thing where you had one leg over your head and the other one was spread way out—” Janice tried to demonstrate.
I stared at the woman and what she was attempting to do with her legs.
“Oh, no way, I did not do that,” I said firmly. Just looking at Janice contorting herself in such a way made me want to snuggle down on a nice soft couch.
“Oh, yes, you did.” Randy grinned. “You have a sexy beast in you, Sammy, and you let it out on that pole today!”
I was stunned as I wiped some sweat from my forehead. Was it possible I had just not realized what I was doing?
“I want you to teach me,” Mara said as she looked up at me with wide eyes. “Please, will you?”
I laughed and shook my head. “I have no idea what I did. I just let the music flow through me. I just moved to the beat.”
“It was amazing,” the other women chimed in, all applauding my efforts.
Mara frowned as she glanced at me and then at her own figure. “I wish I had hips that could do that.”
“All hips can do that,” I said with confidence. “We just have to find a way to let our bodies be free.”
“Maybe we should all just get naked,” Janice said.
“Janice!” Mara gasped and stared at her friend.
“I was just kidding!” Janice said, looking only slightly embarrassed.
I had to laugh a little. But I didn’t think Janice was that far off. I felt amazing. I knew Max’s insistence that I not cover up my body had given me a chance to shake off my stage fright. Of course, I had no idea what I had just done or why the ladies had admired me so much, but it didn’t matter. It had given me the ego boost I needed to feel wonderful about myself.
Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) Page 2