“Morning, Samantha.” She kept busy straightening the products in the shop.
I picked up the key from the counter where she’d left it, so that I could lock up that night. I was glad that she had gotten the experience of opening the laundromat all by herself. Casually I checked to make sure that she did everything right. Although I was happy that she did such a great job, a small part of me was disappointed that she hadn’t made even the smallest mistake. I couldn’t remember my first few days, as it was so long ago, but I was fairly sure I hadn’t done everything right.
“So? What’s the verdict?” Anisa paused in front of the counter.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, please, I know you’re checking up on me. How’d I do?’
“Perfect.” I shook my head. “You really know your stuff, Anisa.”
“That’s because I had a great teacher.”
“Thanks, Anisa. I guess tomorrow will be our last day together.”
“Actually, we won’t be needing you tomorrow. Patricia said to let you know that you can leave me the key. I’m going to open and close. Of course it would be great if I could call you if I run into any problems.”
I felt the last hint of my connection with Fluff and Stuff deflate. I wasn’t sure that I was ever going to be okay with Patricia’s so easily replacing me, but I knew that was something I had to work out for myself. This was an exciting day for Anisa and I didn’t want to do anything to dampen that.
“Okay. That’s good. You’re certainly ready.” I smiled at her as I handed her the key. I gripped it so tightly that my fingers began to throb. I didn’t want to let go of it. Anisa tried to take it gently from my hand, but she couldn’t get it loose. She tried again with a firmer tug. I bit the tip of my tongue and tried to make myself let go of the key.
“Samantha?” Anisa looked into my eyes. “I’ll take good care of it. I promise.”
Chapter 9
Anisa’s words made my grip loosen. I realized in that moment that turning over the key wasn’t difficult because I was losing my position; it was because Fluff and Stuff would no longer be mine. I wouldn’t be there to greet customers with a happy smile or advise on how to get a terrible stain out of a favorite shirt. I wouldn’t be there to find the perfect pick-me-up for someone having a bad day. I was leaving behind a safe place that I had turned into a home.
“Thanks, Anisa.” I sighed as she took the key from me. A strong instinct carried through me to try to snatch it back. A brief image flickered through my head of Anisa and me wrestling on the floor over the key. “I know that you’ll do a great job. If you don’t mind, I’m just going to go.”
“No, it’s fine if you want to.” Anisa frowned. “It’s really going to be great, Samantha. You have a lot to look forward to.”
I nodded but I couldn’t speak. Instead, I turned and hurried out of Fluff and Stuff.
When I started down the sidewalk outside the laundromat my heart began to flutter. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to make it to my apartment. Every fiber in my being was demanding that I go back and admit that it was a mistake.
“No.” I spoke out loud to myself. “No, I am moving forward. I am moving on.”
I noticed a woman seated beside an overflowing shopping cart who gave me a strange look for talking to myself. I winced and tried to sort through my thoughts in my head rather than out loud.
Still, when I reached my apartment I burst into tears. They were tears wept for so many things, not just the loss of Fluff and Stuff. They were tears for the years I’d lived in fear. Tears for the future that I wasn’t sure would ever come. Tears for the love that I still wanted with Max and the love that I hoped for with Blue. By the time I was done, I felt as if my entire body had been cleansed of every dark emotion I’d ever felt. Sometimes it was good to cry.
I felt lighter as I took a shower and then headed to my computer. I didn’t even stop in the kitchen for a snack first. I was learning to feel my emotions rather than hide them.
As soon as I turned on my computer I saw the notification that I’d been waiting for. Blue had finally written me back. I was hesitant to open it, because I didn’t want to read the rejection. If it had been a yes, I was sure that he would have written me back sooner.
Still, I couldn’t resist. I clicked the message.
SWF,
I would be honored to be a part of your celebration. I should be able to attend. There are some other things going on, but as long as everything goes smoothly, I will be there. I am looking forward to seeing your beautiful face.
Blue (AKA Matthew)
I stared at the screen. Matthew? Of all the names I had thought of, Matthew was not one I expected. I could just see myself getting confused between Matt and Max. Then again, if I ever slipped up and called one of them the other’s name, at least they probably wouldn’t notice.
I reread the e-mail. Other things going on? It made me wonder just what Blue’s life was like. Again I realized that I didn’t really know that much about him. What I did know wasn’t exactly definite information. Was he having difficulty in his life? Had I been so caught up in myself that I had barely noticed the struggle Blue was having?
Then it dawned on me that that might not be the case. He might have just given himself an easy way out if he didn’t want to go to the party. I tried to convince myself that was not the case, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it probably was. I decided not to send back an e-mail right away. Instead I picked up the phone to call Max.
“Yes, gorgeous?”
“Matthew. His name is Matthew.”
“Hm. I’ve never met a Matthew that I liked.”
“Well, then he will be the first. He’s a really good guy, Max. I think you’ll like him.”
“If you say so.” Max laughed a little. “How are you doing? I stopped by the shop and Anisa told me that you left and you’re not going in tomorrow. Are you okay?”
“Yes, just not needed.” I sighed.
“I’ll always need you, Samantha.”
“I’ll always need you too, Matt. I mean Max. Oh, god.”
“Seriously?”
“Good night, Max.”
“Good night, Sammy.”
After I hung up the phone I made a promise to myself. The next day would be spent without Max, without Matt-Blue, and without Fluff and Stuff. Since I had an extra day I was going to use it to kick-start my goals.
First thing in the morning, I would declare myself a full-time writer.
First thing in the morning, that was exactly what I did. I woke up. I poured myself a cup of coffee. I didn’t even change out of my pajamas, because I didn’t have to. I settled down with the book I was working on, and I began writing.
I was expecting some writer’s block, but to my surprise I wrote freely and happily. By the time the day was over, I realized that I’d barely thought about Blue or Max. More importantly, I hadn’t once considered that I should have been at work at Fluff and Stuff. I was feeling pretty amazing.
I also had a party to get to. I spent the rest of the afternoon preparing for the party. It wasn’t until I was dressed and waiting for Max that I realized I’d never sent Blue the address. In fact, I didn’t even know where the party was. I called Max.
“I need the address for the party.”
“Is it for Matt?” Max asked.
It was a little strange to hear him say Matt’s name.
“Yes.”
“It’s at Fluff and Stuff.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, that’s why they didn’t want you to come in today. We were all planning it together.”
“Wow.” I smiled. A wave of warmth washed over me at the thought that so many people had cared enough to work together for me.
“Just do me a favor and act surprised. Okay?”
“I will.” I laughed.
“I’ll be there in five.”
I hurried to the computer and sent an e-mail to Blue. I wondered if i
t would be too late. Would he bother to come?
Max knocked on the door a few minutes later.
“You look amazing.” He stared at me for a long moment.
“Thanks, Max.” I blushed a little.
“Shall we?” He smiled and offered me his arm.
“We shall!”
Chapter 10
When we arrived at Fluff and Stuff, I was shocked at the transformation. It had been decorated to look like an old disco, complete with a disco ball and strobe lights. Not only were Patricia and Anisa there, but so were several regular customers and people from the neighborhood. It was so touching that for a while I didn’t even think about Blue not being there.
I made it through a few dances before I slowed down long enough to think about the fact that Blue obviously wasn’t coming. This wasn’t the first time that one of our meetings had fallen through. I really thought that this time he would be there for me.
As I looked back at the dance floor I saw Max and Anisa talking. I had to admit that they looked beautiful together, especially with the lighting.
The music shifted from oldies to lively. I recognized the style right away. It was salsa music. It made my heart come alive with the desire to move. But of course I didn’t know how to dance salsa and I wasn’t about to attempt it in front of a room full of people.
I hung out by the punch as I watched a few people step onto the dance floor. Then I saw Anisa make a beeline for Max. I gritted my teeth and tried not to be annoyed. She had every right to try to get Max’s attention. He was single. She was single. There was no reason for her not to attempt to flirt with him. To my surprise, however, she grabbed Max’s hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor. Max looked over at me as if he was waiting to be rescued. I smiled and waved at him. I was sure he could get himself out of her grasp if that was what he wanted.
Instead he began to dance. My eyes widened with every passing moment. Max’s body glided with a rhythm I’d never seen before. As he spun Anisa across the dance floor I could barely take a breath. I had no idea that Max could salsa. His body moved with Anisa’s as if they were tied together by an invisible ribbon. He gazed into her eyes with such intensity that my throat went dry.
Max, my best friend, whom I’d known for years, had been keeping his ability to salsa a secret from me. I wanted more than anything to be Anisa. I wanted to be in Max’s arms.
Anisa let out a wild squeal as Max pulled her back against his chest with his arm across her stomach. I didn’t realize how hard I was staring until Max met my eyes. I knew that he saw me watching them. He held my gaze as he spun Anisa away from him. Then he turned back to her to finish the dance.
When they finally left the dance floor everyone applauded. I forced myself to as well. The truth was, I did admire what I’d just seen, even if I was jealous of Anisa being Max’s partner.
The pair walked toward the punch bowl that I just happened to be standing beside.
I tried to step back out of their way and ended up putting my hand right down in the punch bowl. It tipped beneath my weight and the contents splashed out onto the floor, soaking both Anisa’s dress and my own.
“Oh no!” I rushed for paper towels.
“Don’t worry so much, Samantha. At least we’re in a laundromat!” Anisa burst out laughing.
I laughed too. I laughed because she was right: I was worrying again. I laughed because I was feeling insecure at my own party—in my honor. Most of all, I laughed because I knew that no matter how much I wanted to control it, I couldn’t make Max love me. I couldn’t make Matt love me. All I could do was enjoy the time we had together and hope that one day it might lead to something more.
We ended the night with a group spin around the dance floor. It was beautiful.
As Max drove me home he must have noticed how quiet I was.
“I’m sorry he didn’t come, Sammy. Something must have come up.”
“I guess.” I stared out the window.
“Well, I can tell you this. He’s crazy if he misses out on a girl like you.”
I looked over at Max and smiled. As the streetlights flickered across his face I did my best to imprint exactly how he looked in that moment. Max would always be my hero, no matter where my journey took me. When he dropped me off at my apartment, he grabbed my hand before I could walk away.
“This is it, Sammy. You’re really living your dream now. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Max.” I leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I think I’m finally ready.”
Single Wide Female: The Bucket List
23 Learn to Salsa
By
Lillianna Blake
Copyright © 2015 Lillianna Blake
Cover design by Beetiful Book Covers
All rights reserved.
LilliannaBlake.com
Chapter 1
SWF,
I can’t apologize enough for missing your party the other night. I can only say that I would have loved to be there. Unfortunately something came up at the last minute. I hope that you can forgive me. Perhaps we can arrange another get-together soon.
So very sorry,
Blue
I’d read the e-mail over for what felt like the hundredth time. I didn’t think I was ever going to believe it. I’d pinned my hopes on Blue, but in truth, that was my fault. I didn’t even know the man, yet I’d expected him to show up at my party.
Since the party, I’d stayed in my apartment just as I’d planned. I’d made quite a bit of progress on my book. However, my eyes were now starting to cross when I even looked in the direction of the computer.
Even though Blue’s absence occupied my mind, there was another image that was fighting for my attention. It was the memory of Max on the dance floor with Anisa at my party. It was the way he had danced with her—that passion in motion. I’d never seen anything more beautiful or more enticing.
As soon as I’d arrived home from the party I’d added a new item to my bucket list—to learn to salsa. I knew that no matter who I ended up dancing with, that was the dance we would be sharing. It was intimate, sultry, and exciting at the same time. I had no idea how to do the spins and moves that Max did with such ease. I had toyed with the idea of asking him to teach me, but I didn’t think I would be able to concentrate.
Since I needed a break from working on my book, I decided that it was the right time to head down to the dance studio and sign up for salsa lessons. It felt good to detach myself from my computer for a bit, mostly because I’d been avoiding replying to Blue’s e-mails. However, the draw to write was a bit too strong for me to avoid. I processed my emotions best through writing.
I sat down at the computer and began typing up a blog update about my desire to learn to salsa. Of course I left out what, exactly, had inspired me, but I was at least able to describe why I had the desire to learn the beautiful dance. Once I’d made the post, it was set in stone. There was no getting out of checking off the latest item added to my bucket list. Lately, I’d been feeling very accountable to my blog followers.
I left my apartment to walk out to my car. The dance studio was a bit of a drive from my apartment. The ones in the city were much more expensive, and also I’d had a few embarrassing incidents that had gotten around among the yoga teachers and exercise trainers. So I wanted a fresh start.
Anisa had recommended the studio when I mentioned that I might like to learn to salsa. When I checked out the website for the studio, it seemed like a great place to learn. It would give me the opportunity to get outside of my usual environment and meet some new people.
If I was ever going to get over Blue, I needed a hot date to brighten my day. I knew that maybe I was being a little cruel. I should have e-mailed him back, accepted his apology, thanked him for all the ways he built me up, and let him off the hook. But I didn’t want to.
I had been very disappointed when he didn’t show up for the party. I’d allowed myself to get attached—that was my first mistake. Still desiring him, de
spite his neglect, was the second mistake.
Perhaps watching Max dance with Anisa had been the most eye-opening experience for me. I was standing on the sidelines of my romantic life and I didn’t want to be there any more. I didn’t want to watch while others engaged in the happy and passionate experience of love.
I pulled into the plaza that contained the dance studio. There were several buildings, but the dance studio took up one entire side of the plaza.
When I stepped inside, I noticed that there was one large dance floor that was surrounded by floor-to-ceiling glass. Down the hall there appeared to be several smaller dance classrooms. Through the glass wall I could see that there was a morning class in session. It looked like a mixture between tap dancing and pole dancing. I watched it for a few moments. It looked interesting enough, but I still preferred to learn salsa.
At the front desk there were several separate clipboards with sign-up sheets. I noticed that there was a group salsa class. I picked up the pen beside the clipboard and was about to sign my name up on a very crowded list, when someone stepped beside me. It always left me a little unnerved when a stranger would suddenly appear. I never knew exactly how to react.
Should I say hello? Should I pretend that I didn’t notice the person beside me? Before I could decide exactly what to do, he decided for me.
“I see that you’re signing up for the group classes.”
His accent was so delicious that I almost forgot to answer him.
“Yes, I am.” I smiled.
I looked up in time to see him brushing back strands of his glossy black hair. His olive skin looked as if it had never been violated by a blemish. His eyes were the deepest shade of brown that I’d ever seen. I could easily see myself getting lost in those eyes.
“The group class is fantastic—if you’re looking for something social.” He shrugged.
“I’d really just like to learn. I do have some serious difficulty with coordination at times, though.”
“Can I perhaps interest you in some private lessons?” He swished his hips so rapidly that they created a bit of a blur. “I’m sure that I could teach you a few things.”
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