I bought the tickets and met him just outside the door. He narrowed his eyes at me as if he suspected something. “Hey, what’s wrong,” he asked, leaning close to inspect my face. “You’re not thinking about what’s-his-face, are you?”
I gave him a wry smile and pulled back. “Nope,” I said truthfully.
“Good!” He took my hand and started toward the door, but I pulled my hand free. I covered the reaction by taking the popcorn.
He didn’t seem to notice. “Do you want to sit in the back so we can make shadow puppets in the projector and tick everyone off?”
I laughed. “Sure.”
Chapter 9
I sat down in a big, overstuffed leather chair and glanced apprehensively at the therapist. Dr. Laura was a psychologist at Birch Hill who specialized in helping children with “adjustment issues”- whatever that meant. She was a pretty woman, maybe thirty or forty years old. She had expressive hazel eyes and little wrinkles around her small mouth. She settled herself behind her shiny wooden desk and pulled out a silver pen and a little notebook. Then she gave me a warm smile.
“How have you been?” she asked softly.
I almost laughed. How was I? Since the last time I’d seen her- when I was just emerging from a curse induced period of insanity- I think my life had gotten more complicated, not less.
“Okay,” I said slowly, trying to keep my expression light and neutral.
Dr. Laura didn’t press me for more, but she scribbled something on her little notepad. She looked up from her note and her expression was warm and caring. “How are you adjusting at school?”
I sighed. “Okay, I guess.”
Her eyes narrowed just a fraction and I squirmed a bit in my seat. I’ve never been good at lies. “I see you have a new haircut.”
I swallowed, then pasted a smile on my face. “Oh, yeah. Some of the other girls at school have short hair, and I thought it would be nice.”
Dr. Laura crossed her legs under her desk and placed an elbow on the desk so that she could rest her chin in her palm. She stared into my eyes. “Your dad tells me someone put gum in your hair and you had to cut it.”
I waved a hand dismissively. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Hmm…I see you don’t want to talk about it. That’s okay, but you know you can talk to someone- me, or your dad, or your school councilor- whenever you need to.” She glanced down at her notebook and then back up at me.
“Let’s talk about your mom a little bit.”
I wanted to choke. “Let’s not.”
Dr. Laura leveled a serious look at me. “Kit, I know it was hard on you when your mom left. From what your dad says, there was no warning, no indication that she was about to vanish.”
I shrugged. It was true. I could understand if they had been fighting or something, but they never had. Mom had just up and left.
Dr. Laura sat up and leaned back in her chair, losing her assumed air of friendliness. “You need to make peace with your mom to be sure this never happens to you again.” Of course, she believed, like all the others, that I had coping issues that had driven me to temporary insanity.
“Don’t worry,” I said placidly. “It won’t happen again.” Because I’d destroyed the stupid book once and for all.
Dr. Laura glanced at the shiny gold clock on her desk, jotted in her notebook, then smiled at me again. “Okay, we won’t talk about that stuff. I know this might be an embarrassing subject for you, but I was wondering if you’re doing okay physically? Your body has changed a lot in three years, and you don’t remember the change. That must be hard.”
I blushed furiously. “It is.” I knew I would have to talk to her about something. I had to give her something or she wouldn’t be satisfied. She’d probably say I was still insane. It might be embarrassing, but this seemed like the safest topic.
“I still feel silly and out of place,” I admitted.
Dr. Laura nodded. “That’s natural.”
I gestured at my baggy t-shirt and loose-fitting jeans. “Andrea- one of my friends at school- keeps trying to get me to wear something else, but then I just feel like I’m bursting out of my clothes.”
She smiled. “I see. So you feel like you can hide in those clothes?”
I nodded. Dr. Laura tilted her head to the side as she regarded me. “You’re really a very beautiful young lady,” she said fondly. “I can see why your friend would want to help you dress up a bit.” She considered for a moment.
“I want you to do what is comfortable for you, but at the same time, I think you should challenge yourself a little. You might find that dressing like the other girls will help you feel like you fit in. And it might help you accept your body, rather than trying to hide it.”
I shrugged, unconvinced. But Dr. Laura just smiled. “Speaking of that,” she said slyly. “What about boys?”
I looked at my knees. “What about them?”
She laughed. “Have any of the boys at your school asked you out?”
I sighed. “Just one. I went, but it was a disaster.”
I glanced up to see her frowning at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Tell her that he wanted to make out, but I couldn’t handle it? No. I don’t think so. “No, thanks.”
I heaved a sigh. There was no way I was going to be able to pull this off. I couldn’t talk to her about anything because my whole life was so messed up, and I couldn’t make stuff up because I was such a bad liar. I flogged my mind, trying to dredge up something non-curse related.
Then I thought of something I genuinely wanted help with. “My dad,” I said quietly. “I don’t want him to feel guilty about me.”
I couldn’t quite tell her the truth- that he had started drinking again when I was out of it, and that he seemed to go back to drinking any time I didn’t seem to be perfectly happy. But what I had told her was true. I felt like he felt guilty if I was struggling, which just made me even more stressed out, because I had to always make an effort to look like I was doing great.
Dr. Laura pursed her lips. “You’re really perceptive to pick up on that sweetheart. He probably does feel guilty- it’s what parents do. We take personal responsibility for everything that happens to our kids.” She smiled softly. “But you shouldn’t feel bad about worrying him- just do your best. That’s all you can do. But it must be hard.”
For just a moment, I wondered if she would understand. What would happen if I told her everything- about curses and kami, and things that no one should see? It would feel great to tell someone all of it, to get it off my chest. But then something shifted in her eyes, and I knew better. It was just wishful thinking.
Dr. Laura looked at her notebook again. I wondered what she would do without it. “Your dad says you spend almost all of your free time with your little friend, Ryuu?”
I nodded. “We’ve been friends since he moved here.”
She nodded, but a line had grown between her eyebrows. “I wonder if you don’t need to branch out a little bit? Maybe hang out with more people your own age? Some kids who aren’t as … offbeat… as your Ryuu.
I sat up, and I could feel an ugly scowl forming on my face. She thought Ryuu was a bad influence. “He’s the only one who understands anything about me,” I said fiercely.
She took a deep breath and stared me down. “Maybe that’s your fault. If you would open up to other people, we’d understand too.” That was a rebuke for not answering any of her questions.
I stood and paced the length of her big bookcase. “No, you wouldn’t.”
She said something placating then, but I didn’t hear it. There was a buzzing coming from the bookshelf. A kind of scratchy, pay attention to me kind of sound.
I perused the shelves intently, looking for the source of the sound. It was a few minutes before I realized that Dr. Laura had stopped talking. I straightened and turned to face her.
“What are you looking for?” Her tone was pleasant, but I knew she was getting annoyed.
“Uh, this.” Finally locating the source of the noise, I pointed at a little enameled box that sat on the shelf shouting at me.
Dr. Laura sighed. “A former client gave me that as thanks.”
I nodded, my gaze darting back to the little box. If it had been given to her by a troubled kid, it might have picked up some bad energy. And then, here it was, sitting in this office while people poured out their deepest pain. Bad idea.
“Ah, what were you saying,” I asked pleasantly. Steeling myself, I grabbed the box and took it with me to my seat. The buzzing grew louder, until it sounded like a static-laced voice. My hand burned where I touched the little box.
Dr. Laura was staring at me warily, as if she was expecting a psychotic break. “Sorry,” I said calmly, ignoring the burning. “What were you saying?”
She settled herself back into her chair and continued. “I think it would be good for you to spend more time with kids your own age. Go on some outings. Or- if you’re feeling uncomfortable- maybe have a couple of people over to your house, where you feel safe.”
I nodded, thinking furiously. I didn’t have my bat with me. And this thing needed to be destroyed before it turned truly nasty. “I could do that,” I yammered in reply to her suggestions. The box couldn’t stay here. Not where a bunch of vulnerable kids came for help. My hand felt like it was blistering.
I wanted my bat so badly. I instinctively felt that I needed something to channel my energy. I grimaced and shifted the box from hand to hand. My skin was getting red. Dr. Laura gave me an odd look.
The box whispered to me. Traitor.
Startled, I stared down at it, focusing all of my thoughts on the box, trying to determine if it had really spoken to me, or if I’d just imagined it. But that was a mistake. The minute I focused my attention on the box, my hands were a flaming agony. I held out the box to Dr. Laura pleadingly.
“Can… can I, um, have this?” I tried a smile. “If you helped someone else so much that they gave this to you, maybe you can help me too.”
Her smile was strained. “Sure, you can have it.”
I sighed and slipped the box into my pocket, where it continued to burn away merrily, muttering and buzzing the whole time. It felt like my ears were ringing.
“What’s that?” Dr. Laura sounded surprised. She stood suddenly and grabbed my wrist. Leaning forward, she examined my red, blistered hand.
I tried to hide the other hand, but she saw it too. “Kit! What did you do to your hands?!”
I swallowed hard. “Uh. Cooking. I grabbed a hot baking sheet.” I grinned up at her stupidly. “Dumb, huh?”
She stared into my eyes intently. “Honey, are you hurting yourself on purpose?”
Oh crap. “No! Nononono…” I held up my poor mutilated hands defensively. “I’d never do that.”
She didn’t look convinced. But time was up, and she had to let me leave. I knew she would call my dad and tell him all about her suspicions. And I’d probably have to talk to her about it for the entire hour next time. Right now, I didn’t care. My thigh was on fire where the little box rested in my pocket. I just hoped they wouldn’t throw me back in the mental hospital.
I had no idea what to do with the annoying little box. I waited until Dad wasn’t around, then took it out into the backyard and gave it a talking to with my bat. My attempts at destroying it were just as worthless as those to destroy the coin. I stared down at it, panting from my last attempt. I couldn’t bring myself to take it to the temple. The monks were already being affected by the coin.
Finally, exhausted and fed up, I stomped into the garage and rummaged around until I found a shovel. Then I buried the noisy thing in the far corner of the yard, by an old weedy flowerbox that held a clump of dried up sunflowers. I admit, by this time I was glad to cover the gleaming box with dirt. I was tired, ticked, and completely fed up with the whole stupid business.
I gave the little mound of earth one last triumphant pat and stood. Turning, I stepped across the burial site to pick up my bat. Somehow, my feet tangled in the shovel and I fell. I couldn’t get my hands up fast enough. I sat there in the grass, rubbing my aching cheek and gazed dully at the railroad tie flower box that had just kissed my face. I pulled myself together and tossed one last glower at the mound of earth before I went to put away the shovel. I swear I heard muffled laughter.
Chapter 10
Ryuu stretched his long legs, setting a stride that ate up the distance with ease. His sneakers were quiet on the sidewalk, drowned out by the sounds of the small town. He passed brick storefronts and businesses without really seeing them. Sometimes it felt like there was something moving inside him. Just a bit. A twinge. But it was enough to fill him with nervous energy that made him want to move. He was tired of this child’s body, and he despaired of ever reaching adulthood.
He looked up at the sky and thought about Kit, trying to distract himself. She had a study session right now. With that blond guy. Ryuu’s eyes narrowed at the thought of that jerk cozying up to Kit while they studied. A girl on a bike rode past. Ryuu sidestepped and narrowly missed being run over. Not paying attention. It was hard to focus on what was going on around him with the thing inside him coiling and shifting like a snake.
Kit only thought of him as a friend. And for now that would have to be enough. There was no way for him to explain to her right now- to make her see what he knew about their past… and their future. She would never believe him. But it was hard when he could see the other guys watching her. And boy were they watching her, though right now she was still ignorant of how beautiful she was. At least that was some comfort. She was as much of a child on the inside as he was on the outside.
His nervousness finally began to settle, that feeling of movement subsiding so that he almost felt like himself again. He rounded a corner and bumped into a man carrying an ornate cane.
“Sorry,” he muttered, embarrassed. But the words stuck in his throat. That strange feeling was back again, flaring to life just as Ryuu noticed the dark energy cloud around the cane. His spiritual energy reacted to it before his eyes even registered what he was seeing. A cursed object, reeking of darkness.
He backpedaled to avoid touching it, and the man gave him an odd look. “Watch where you’re going kid.”
He was a big, burly guy, dressed in an old-timey pinstriped suit with an honest to God top hat perched on his head. His dark hair was graying at the temples and he had it slicked back into a thin ponytail. He brushed past Ryuu and kept on going without a second glance.
Ryuu shifted from foot to foot, not knowing what to do. The cane was oozing tainted energy. It had to be affecting the guy. He looked around helplessly. Of course, no one else could see it. A million scenarios flashed through his head and were cast away. If Kit were here, he would distract the guy and have her grab the cane. But he was on his own.
His hands clenched into fists, feeling the full weight of his immaturity. The man was getting farther and farther away. If he didn’t hurry, the cane would be gone, slipping out of his reach where it would continue to taint people and cause suffering. He pushed into motion without really thinking about what he was doing.
“Hey mister!” He dashed after the man, waving his arms. “Wait!”
The guy looked back and saw Ryuu pounding after him. His eyes narrowed. “Me?”
Ryuu nodded, coming to a panting halt in front of him. “Yeah, sorry.” He tried to catch his breath, but it was hard with the thing moving in him and the energy from the cane making him feel sick.
The guy stared down at him impatiently. “Did you need something kid?”
Ryuu straightened and gestured at the cane. “I noticed your cane. It looks a lot like one my grandpa used to have. Where did you get it?”
It was certainly eye-catching. The dark wood was probably hand carved, with vines and leaves tracing up the length of it, and a great, twisted face on the handle. An antique for sure, something that had been around long enough to soak up all that energy.
The man checked his watch. “I got it from an antique store,” he said distractedly.
He turned to leave and Ryuu panicked. The pulsing blackness around the cane was giving him a headache. Clenching his teeth, he reached out and grabbed it.
An icy, sucking sensation numbed his hands the moment they touched the wood. He could almost see the energy of the thing trying to crawl up his arm, and his own energy feebly repulsing it. How the man held it was beyond him.
They guy’s hazel eyes widened in surprise, then he began to glare. “Piss off kid!” He put one hand on Ryuu’s chest and shoved. The guy was big, but it wasn’t his physical strength that sent Ryuu stumbling backward, clutching at his chest and gasping.
The guy walked over and bent down to look into his eyes. Ryuu flipped his hair out of his face and glared back, wondering what the hell had just happened. The man’s eyes widened when he met Ryuu’s glare. “You’re just a kid,” he said softly. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”
He laughed, a rich guffaw. Then he turned and walked away, twirling the cane and whistling.
Everything looked distorted. Ryuu’s stomach roiled and he thought he might puke. He made his way to a bench on the sidewalk and put his head between his knees while the world spun. The book that cursed Kit had burned when he touched it. But it had never reached out and slapped him like that. That cane was the most powerful thing he’d ever seen- even stronger than the cursed object that had killed his parents.
Ryuu closed his eyes and tried to get his stomach to settle. It subsided slowly, and he still felt shaky and cold.
“Ryuu?” Kit’s voice sounded like it was far away, but when he looked up, she was right there in front of him, her golden brown hair windblown, and a light flush on her cheeks. She held a couple of shopping bags in one hand.
“Hey Kit. What happened to your face?”
She shrugged off his question and stared down at him with worried blue eyes. “You don’t look so good.”
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