A Thousand Boy Kisses

by Tillie Cole

Ida and Savannah ran to me and threw themselves around my waist. I ruffled the hair on their heads. When they stepped aside, I heard a door being opened. I lifted my eyes and saw Poppy running. She had wet hair, clearly having just showered, but she looked more beautiful than ever before as she sprinted to where we all stood, only me in her sights.

  When she arrived on our driveway, she stopped briefly to hug my parents and kiss Alton goodbye. Then she turned to face me. My parents got into the car and Poppy’s parents and sisters moved back toward their house, giving us some space. I wasted no time holding out my arms, and Poppy ran into my chest. I squeezed her tight, inhaling the sweet scent from her hair.

  I put my finger under her chin and tilted her head up, and then I kissed her for the final time. I kissed her with as much love as I could find inside my heart.

  When I broke away, Poppy spoke through streaming tears. “Kiss number three hundred and fifty-six. With my Rune on his driveway … when he left me.”

  I closed my eyes. I couldn’t stand the pain she was in—that I was in too.

  “Son?” I looked over Poppy’s shoulder at my pappa. “We have to go,” he said apologetically.

  Poppy’s hands tightened on my shirt. Her big green eyes were shining with tears, and it seemed like she was trying to memorize every part of my face. Finally releasing my hold on her, I raised my camera and pressed the button.

  I captured this rare moment: the exact moment when someone’s heart broke.

  I walked to the car, my feet feeling like ton weights. As I climbed in the backseat, I didn’t even try to stop my tears. I watched Poppy standing to the side of our car, her damp hair blowing in the breeze, watching me leave, waving goodbye.

  My pappa started the engine. I opened my window. I held out my hand and Poppy took hold of it. As I gazed into her face one last time, she said, “I’ll see you in your dreams.”

  “I’ll see you in my dreams,” I whispered back and reluctantly let go of her hand as my pappa drove the car away. I stared back at Poppy through the rear window, watching her wave, until she was out of sight.

  I held on to the memory of that wave goodbye.

  I vowed to hold onto it until that wave welcomed me home again.

  Until it once again stood for ‘hello’.

  Rune

  Oslo

  Norway

  A day later I was back in Oslo, separated from Poppy by an ocean.

  She and I talked every day for two months. I tried to be happy that we at least had that. But as every day ended without her by my side, the anger inside me built. My hatred for my pappa increased, until it broke something inside, and all I could feel was emptiness. I resisted making friends at school, I resisted doing anything that would make this place my home again.

  My home was back in Georgia.

  With Poppy.

  Poppy didn’t say anything about my change in mood, if she’d even noticed. I hoped I’d hid it well. I didn’t want her worrying over me.

  Then one day, Poppy didn’t return my calls, emails or texts.

  Or the next day, or the next.

  She dropped out of my life.

  Poppy simply vanished. No word, no trace.

  She left school. She left town.

  Her family all upped and left without notice.

  For two years she left me completely alone on the other side of the Atlantic, wondering where she was. Wondering what had happened. Wondering if I’d done something wrong. Making me think that maybe I’d pushed her too far the night before I left.

  It was the second moment that defined my life.

  A life without Poppy.

  No infinity.

  No forever always.

  Just … nothing.

  Poppy

  Blossom Grove, Georgia

  Present Day

  Aged Seventeen

  “He’s coming back.”

  Three words. Three words that sent my life into a tailspin. Three words that terrified me.

  He’s coming back.

  I stared at Jorie, my closest friend, clutching my books tightly to my chest. My heart fired off like a cannon and nerves overwhelmed me.

  “What did you say?” I whispered, ignoring the students around us in the hallway, all rushing to their next classes.

  Jorie placed her hand on my arm. “Poppy, are you okay?”

  “Yes,” I replied weakly.

  “You sure? You’ve gone pale. You don’t seem okay.”

  I nodded, trying to be convincing, and asked, “Who … who told you he was coming back?”

  “Judson and Deacon,” she replied. “I was just in class with them and they were saying that his daddy has been sent back here by his company.” She shrugged. “This time, for good.”

  I swallowed. “To the same house?”

  Jorie winced, but nodded. “Sorry, Pops.”

  I closed my eyes and took a calming breath. He was going to be next door again … his room directly opposite mine again.

  “Poppy?” Jorie asked, and I opened my eyes. Her gaze was full of sympathy. “You sure you’re okay? You’ve only been back here a few weeks yourself. And I know what seeing Rune will do…”

  I forced a smile. “I’ll be fine, Jor. I don’t know him anymore. Two years is a long time, and we haven’t spoken once in that time.”

  Jorie frowned. “Pop—”

  “I’ll be fine,” I insisted, holding up my hand. “I need to get to class.”

  I was walking away from Jorie when a question popped into my head. I looked back over my shoulder at my friend, the only friend I had kept in touch with in the past two years. While everyone thought my family had left town to care for my mama’s sick aunt, only Jorie knew the truth.

  “When?” I mustered the courage to ask.

  Jorie’s face softened when she realized what I meant. “Tonight, Pops. He arrives tonight. Judson and Deacon are spreading the word for people to go to the field this evening to welcome him back. Everyone’s going.”

  Her words felt like a dagger stabbing my heart. I hadn’t been invited. But then again, I wouldn’t be. I left Blossom Grove without a word. When I came back to this school, without being on Rune’s arm, I became the girl I always should have been—invisible to the popular crowd. The weird girl who wore bows in her hair and played the cello.

  No one—except for Jorie and Ruby—had even cared I’d been gone.

  “Poppy?” Jorie called again.

  I blinked myself back to reality and noticed that the hallways were nearly empty. “You’d better get to class, Jor.”

  She took a step toward me. “Will you be okay, Pops? I’m worried about you.”

  I laughed a humorless laugh. “I’ve been through worse.”

  I dipped my head and rushed to my class before I could see the sympathy and pity on Jorie’s face. I entered my math class, sliding into my seat just as the teacher began the lesson.

  If someone were to ask me later what the class had been about, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them. For fifty minutes all I could think about was the last time I saw Rune. The last time he held me in his arms. The last time he pressed his lips against my lips. How we made love, and the look on his beautiful face as he was driven out of my life.

  Idly, I wondered what he looked like now. He was always tall with broad shoulders, well built. But, as for the rest of him, two years was a long time for a person to change at our time of life. I knew that better than anyone.

  I wondered if his eyes still appeared crystal blue in the bright sun. I wondered if he still wore his hair long, and I wondered if he still pushed it back every few minutes—that irresistible move that drove all the girls crazy.

  And for a brief moment, I let myself wonder if he still thought about me, the girl next door. If he ever wondered what I was doing at any particular moment in time. If he ever thought back to that night. Our night. The most amazing night of my life.

  Then dark thoughts hit me hard and fast. The question that made me feel physical
ly sick … had he kissed someone else in the past two years? Had he given anyone his lips, when he’d forever promised them to me?

  Or worse: had he made love with another girl?

  The shrill call of the school bell tore me from my thoughts. I stood up from my desk, making my way to the hallway. I was thankful it was the end of the school day.

  I was tired and I ached. But more than that, I hurt in my heart. Because I knew that Rune would be back in the house next door from tonight, in school the next day, and I wouldn’t be able to speak to him. I wouldn’t be able to touch him or smile at him, like I’d dreamed about doing since the day I didn’t return his calls.

  And I wouldn’t be able to kiss him sweetly.

  I had to stay away.

  My stomach churned when I realized he probably wouldn’t care about me anymore. Not after the way I simply cut him off—no explanation, nothing.

  Pushing through the doors into the cool, fresh air, I inhaled deeply. Feeling instantly better, I tucked my hair behind my ears. Now that it was styled into a short bob, it always felt strange. I missed my long hair.

  Beginning my walk home, I smiled up at the blue sky and the birds swooping around the tops of the trees. Nature calmed me; it always had.

  I had only made it a few hundred yards when I saw Judson’s car, surrounded by Rune’s old friends. Avery was the only girl amongst a crowd of boys. I put my head down and tried to rush past, but she called out my name. I ground to a halt and forced myself to turn in her direction. Avery pushed off from where she had been leaning against the car and stepped forward. Deacon tried to pull her back, but she shrugged off his arm. I saw by her smug expression that she wasn’t going to be kind.

  “Have you heard?” she asked, a smile on her pink lips. Avery was beautiful. When I arrived back in town, I couldn’t believe how beautiful she had become. Her make-up was always perfect and her long blond hair was always neatly styled. She was everything a boy would want in a girl, and everything most girls wanted to be.

  I pushed my hair back behind my ear, a habit that showed my nerves. “Heard what?” I asked, knowing exactly what she meant.

  “About Rune. He’s coming back to Blossom Grove.”

  I could see the glint of happiness in her blue eyes. I glanced away, determined to keep my composure, and shook my head. “No, Avery, I hadn’t heard. I haven’t been back long myself.”

  I saw Ruby, Deacon’s girlfriend, walking up to the car, Jorie walking beside her. When they saw Avery talking to me, they hurried to join us. I loved them both for this. Only Jorie knew where I’d been for the past couple of years, why I had left. But from the minute I’d returned, Ruby had acted as though I’d never been away. They were true friends, I had realized.

  “What’s going on here?” Ruby asked casually, but I could hear the edge of protectiveness in her voice.

  “I was asking Poppy if she knew Rune was coming back to Blossom Grove tonight,” Avery replied tartly.

  Ruby looked at me curiously.

  “I didn’t know,” I told her. Ruby smiled sadly at me.

  Deacon walked up behind his girlfriend and put an arm around her shoulders. He flicked his chin at me in greeting. “Hey, Pops.”

  “Hey,” I replied.

  Deacon turned to Avery. “Ave, Rune hasn’t spoken to Poppy in years, I’ve told you this. She doesn’t even know him anymore. Of course she wouldn’t know he was coming back, why would he even tell her?”

  I listened to Deacon and knew he wasn’t being cruel to me. But it didn’t mean that his words didn’t cut as deeply as a spear through the heart. And now I knew; I knew that Rune never spoke of me. It was obvious he and Deacon had remained close. It was obvious to me that I was nothing to him now. That I was never mentioned.

  Avery shrugged. “I just wondered, is all. She and Rune were inseparable until he left.”

  Taking this as my cue to leave, I waved my hand. “I have to go.” I quickly turned and headed home. I decided to cut through the park that would lead me to the blossom grove. As I walked through the empty grove, the cherry blossom trees bare of their pretty leaves, a sadness filled me.

  These bare branches were as empty as I felt. Yearning for the thing that made them complete, but knowing that no matter how much they wished, they couldn’t get them back until spring.

  The world simply didn’t work that way.

  When I got home, my mama was in the kitchen. Ida and Savannah were sitting at the table doing their homework.

  “Hey, baby,” said my mama. I walked over and gave her a hug, holding on to her waist just that little bit tighter than usual.

  My mama tilted up my head, a worried look in her tired eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m just tired, Mama. I’m gonna go lie down.”

  My mama didn’t let me go. “You sure?” she asked, laying her palm on my forehead, checking my temperature.

  “Yeah,” I promised, moving her hand and kissing her cheek.

  I made my way to my bedroom. I stared out the window at the Kristiansen house. It was unchanged. No different than the day they had left to return to Oslo.

  They hadn’t sold it. Mrs. Kristiansen had told my mama that they knew they’d be back at some point, so they kept it. They loved the neighborhood and loved the house. A housekeeper had cleaned and maintained it every few weeks for two years to make sure it would be ready for their return.

  Today, all the curtains were drawn back and the windows were open to let in the fresh air. The housekeeper was clearly preparing it for their imminent arrival. The homecoming that I was dreading.

  Drawing the curtains that my daddy put up for me when I returned home a few weeks ago, I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. I hated feeling fatigued all of the time. By nature, I was an active person, viewing sleep as a waste of time when it could be spent out in the world, exploring and making memories.

  But now I had no choice.

  I pictured Rune in my mind’s eye, and his face stayed with me as I fell into a dream. It was the dream I dreamed most nights—Rune holding me in his arms, kissing my lips and telling me that he loved me.

  I didn’t know how long I slept, but when I woke up, it was to the sound of trucks arriving. Loud banging and familiar voices came from across the yard.

  Sitting up, I wiped the sleep from my eyes. Realization dawned on me.

  He was here.

  My heart began to pound. It beat so fast that I gripped myself for fear it would leap out of my chest.

  He was here.

  He was here.

  I got out of bed and positioned myself in front of the drawn curtains. I leaned in close so I could hear what was going on. I picked out my mama’s and daddy’s voices amongst the drone, along with the familiar sounds of Mr. and Mrs. Kristiansen.

  Smiling, I reached out to pull back a curtain. I stopped; I didn’t want them to see me. Backing away, I rushed upstairs to my daddy’s office. It was the only other window that looked out onto their house, a window where I could hide in plain sight due to the light tint that shielded it from the bright sun.

  I moved to the left-hand side of the window, just in case anyone glanced up. I smiled again when my eyes fell upon Rune’s parents. They looked barely any different. Mrs. Kristiansen was still as beautiful as ever. Her hair was cut shorter, but apart from that she was exactly the same. Mr. Kristiansen had gone slightly grayer, and he looked like he’d lost some weight, but the difference was small.

  A young blond boy ran out the front door, and my hand flew to my mouth when I saw it was little Alton. He would be four now, I calculated. He’d grown so much. And his hair was just like his brother’s, long and straight. My heart squeezed. He looked exactly like a young Rune.

  I watched the movers refurnish the house with incredible speed. But there was no sign of Rune.

  Eventually my parents came back inside, but I kept vigil by the window, waiting patiently for the boy who had been my world for so long that I didn’t know where he began and I ende
d.

  Over an hour passed. Night drew in and I was giving up hope of seeing him at all. As I was about to leave the office, I saw movement from behind the Kristiansens’ house.

  Every one of my muscles tensed as I caught a tiny flicker of light shining in the dark. A white cloud of smoke burst through the air above the patch of grass between our two houses. At first I wasn’t sure what I was seeing, until a tall figure, dressed all in black, emerged from the shadows.

  My lungs ceased to function as the figure stepped into the glow of the streetlight and stopped dead. Leather biker jacket, black shirt, black drainpipe jeans, black suede boots … and long, bright-blond hair.

  I stared and stared, a lump blocking my throat, as the boy with wide shoulders and impressive height lifted his hand and raked it through his long hair.

  My heart skipped a beat. Because I knew that movement. I knew that strong jaw. I knew him. I knew him as well as I knew myself.

  Rune.

  It was my Rune.

  A cloud of smoke blew from his mouth again, and it took me a few moments to realize what I was actually seeing.

  Smoking.

  Rune was smoking. Rune didn’t smoke; he would never have touched cigarettes. My mamaw had smoked her entire life and died too young from lung cancer. We had always promised each other we would never even try it.

  It was clear that Rune had broken that promise.

  As I watched him take another drag, and push back his hair for the third time in a few minutes, my stomach plummeted. Rune’s face tipped upward into the glow of the light as he exhaled a stream of smoke into the cool night breeze.

  So here he was. Seventeen-year-old Rune Kristiansen, and he was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. His crystal-blue eyes were as bright as they had always been. His once-boyish face was now rugged and completely breathtaking. I used to joke he was as handsome as a Norse god. As I studied every part of his face, I was certain his looks surpassed even them.

  I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

  Rune finished his cigarette and threw it to the ground, the light from the stub gradually fading to black in the short grass. I waited with bated breath to see what he would do next. Then his pappa came to the edge of the porch and said something to his son.