by Tillie Cole
Deacon’s hand slapped my back. “Everyone’s ready, just waiting for your signal. It didn’t take much to get the word out you were doing this. We got more volunteers than we needed.”
I nodded my head, and surveyed the townspeople waiting with their Chinese lanterns in hand. On those lanterns, in large black writing, was every kiss I’d ever given Poppy. My eyes focused to read those nearest…
… Kiss two hundred and three, in the rain in the street, my heart almost burst … Kiss twenty-three, in my yard under the moon, with my Rune, my heart almost burst … Kiss nine hundred and one, with my Rune in bed, my heart almost burst…
Swallowing the intense emotion from my throat, I stopped when I saw a lantern waiting for me on the side of the stage. I glanced around the grove looking for who had left it. As the crowd parted, I saw my pappa watching me closely. I met his gaze, then he lowered his eyes before walking away.
The one-thousandth kiss … with my Poppy. When she returned home … my heart completely burst…
It was right that I sent this one up to my girl. Poppy would want me to send this to her myself.
Climbing on the stage, Alton beside me, I lifted the mic and the grove fell into silence. I closed my eyes, gathering the strength to do this, and then raised my head. A sea of Chinese lanterns being held up, ready to fly, stared right back at me. It was perfect. More than I could have ever dreamed.
Raising the mic, I took a deep breath and said, “I won’t speak long. I’m not real good with speaking in public. I just wanted to thank you all for gathering here tonight…” I trailed off. My words had dried up. I raked my hand through my hair and, gathering my composure, managed to say, “Before she passed, my Poppy asked me to send these kisses to her in a way that she would see them in heaven. I know most of you didn’t know her, but she was the best person I knew … she would have treasured this moment.” My lip hooked into a crooked smile at the thought of her face when she saw them.
She would love it.
“So please, light your lanterns and help my kisses reach my girl.”
I lowered the mic. Alton gasped when lighters all around the grove lit the lanterns and sent them soaring into the night sky. One after the other, they floated into the darkness, until the entire sky was glowing with lights sailing upward.
Bending down, I took the lantern beside us and held it in the air. Looking to Alton, I said, “You ready to send this to Poppymin, buddy?”
Alton nodded, and I lit the lantern. The minute the flame caught, we released the one-thousandth—and final—kiss. Standing straight, I watched as it sailed into the air to chase the others, rushing to its new home.
“Wow,” Alton whispered and put his hand in mine again. His fingers squeezed mine tight.
Closing my eyes, I sent a silent message: Here are your kisses, Poppymin. I promised they would come to you. That I’d find a way.
I couldn’t take my eyes from the light show above, but Alton pulled on my hand. “Rune?” he asked and I glanced down to where he stood, watching me.
“Ja?”
“Why did we have to do it here? In this grove?”
“It was Poppymin’s favorite place,” I replied softly.
Alton nodded. “But why did we have to wait for the cherry blossoms to come out first?”
Taking a deep breath, I explained, “Because Poppymin was just like the cherry blossom, Alt. She only had a short life, like they do, but the beauty that she brought in that time will never ever be forgotten. Because nothing so beautiful can last forever. She was a blossom petal, a butterfly … a shooting star … she was perfect … her life was short … but she was mine.”
I took in a breath and whispered finally, “Just as I was hers.”
Rune
Ten years later
I blinked as I awoke, the blossom grove coming into clear view. I could feel the bright sun on my face, smell the richness of the blossom leaves filling my lungs.
I took a deep breath and lifted my head. The dark sky towered above, a sky filled with lights. One thousand Chinese lanterns, sent years ago, floating in the air, perfectly fixed in place.
Sitting up, I searched the grove to check that every blossom was in full bloom. It was. But then it always was. Beauty lasted forever here.
As did she.
The sound of gentle singing came from the entrance to the grove and my heart began to race. I pushed to my feet and waited with bated breath for her to appear.
And then she did.
My body filled with light as she came around the corner, her hands lifting to brush gently against the full trees. I watched as she smiled at the blooms. Then I watched as she noticed me in the center of the grove. I watched as a huge smile spread on her lips.
“Rune!” she called in excitement and ran straight to me.
Smiling back, I lifted her in my arms as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “I’ve missed you!” she whispered into my ear and I held her just that little bit closer. “I’ve missed you so, so much!”
Pulling back to drink in her beautiful face, I whispered, “I’ve missed you too, baby.”
A blush set on Poppy’s cheeks, her deep dimples completely on show. Reaching down, I took her hand in mine. Poppy sighed as I did, then she drifted her gaze to me. I looked at my hand in hers. My seventeen-year-old hand. I was always seventeen when I came here in my dreams. Just as Poppy had always wished.
We were exactly as we were.
Poppy lifted up onto her tiptoes, pulling my focus to her once more. Placing my hand on her cheek, I leaned down and brought her lips to mine. Poppy sighed against my mouth and I kissed her deeply. I kissed her softly. I didn’t ever want to let her go.
When I finally pulled back, Poppy’s eyes fluttered open. I smiled as she guided us to sit under our favorite tree. When we sat down, I held her in my arms, her back pressed against my chest. Brushing her hair off her neck, I pressed light kisses all along her sweet skin. When I was here, when she was in my arms, I touched her as much as I could, I kissed her … I held her knowing soon I’d have to leave.
Poppy sighed in happiness. When I looked up, I saw her watching the bright lanterns in the sky. I knew she did this a lot. These lanterns made her happy. These lanterns were our kisses, gifted just for her.
Settling against me, Poppy asked, “How are my sisters, Rune? How’s Alton? My parents and yours?”
I held her tighter. “They’re all good, baby. Your sisters and parents are happy. And Alt, he’s perfect. He’s got a girlfriend he loves more than life and his baseball is going good. My parents are great too. Everyone is okay.”
“That’s good,” Poppy replied happily.
Then she grew silent.
I frowned. In my dreams Poppy always asked me about my work—all the places I’d visited and how many of my pictures had recently been published, had helped save the world. But tonight she didn’t. She stayed contentedly in my arms. She felt more at peace, if that was possible.
Poppy shifted where she sat, then asked curiously, “Have you ever regretted never finding someone else to love, Rune? Have you ever regretted, in all this time, never kissing anyone else but me? Never loving anyone else? Never filling the jar I gave you?”
“No,” I replied honestly. “And I have loved, baby. I love my family. I love my work. I love my friends and all the people that I’ve met on my adventures. I have a good and happy life, Poppymin. And I love, and I have loved with a full heart … you, baby. I’ve never stopped loving you. You were enough to last a lifetime.” I sighed. “And my jar was filled … it was filled along with yours. There were no more kisses to be collected.”
Turning Poppy’s face to look at me, my hand under her chin, I said, “These lips are yours, Poppymin. I promised them to you years ago; nothing’s changed.”
Poppy’s face broke into a contented smile and she whispered, “Just as these lips are yours, Rune. They were always yours and yours alone.”
As I shifted on the soft ground, as I p
laced a palm on the floor, I suddenly realized that the grass beneath me felt more real than any of my visits before. When I came to Poppy in my dreams, the grove always felt like I was in a dream. I felt the grass but not the blades, I felt the breeze but not the temperature, I felt the trees but not the bark.
As I lifted my head, tonight, in this dream, I felt the warm breeze cross over my face. I could feel it, as real as I did when I was awake. I felt the grass beneath my hands, the blades and the roughness of the dirt. And as I leaned down to kiss Poppy’s shoulder, I felt the warmth of her skin on my lips, saw her skin bump in its wake.
Feeling Poppy’s intense gaze on me, I looked up to see her watching me with wide, expectant eyes.
Then it hit me.
I realized why all of this felt so real. My heart beat faster in my chest. Because if it was real … if I had judged this correctly…
“Poppymin?” I asked and took a deep breath. “This isn’t a dream … is it?”
Poppy shifted to kneel before me and placed her gentle hands on my cheeks. “No, baby,” she whispered and searched my eyes.
“How?” I whispered in confusion.
Poppy’s gaze softened. “It was quick and it was peaceful, Rune. Your family are okay; they are happy you’re in a better place. You lived a short but full life. A good life, the one I always dreamed you would have.”
I froze, then I asked, “You mean…?”
“Yes, baby,” Poppy replied. “You’ve come home. You’ve come home to me.”
A huge smile spread across my lips, and a flood of pure happiness washed over me. Unable to resist, I crashed my lips to Poppy’s waiting mouth. The minute I tasted her sweet taste on my lips, a deep peace filled me from within. Pulling back, I pressed my forehead to hers.
“I get to stay here with you? Forever?” I asked, praying it was true.
“Yes,” Poppy answered gently, and I could hear the complete serenity in her voice. “Our next adventure.”
This was real.
It was real.
I kissed her again, slow and soft. Poppy’s eyes remained closed afterward, then as a blush spread on her beautiful dimpled cheeks, she whispered, “A forever kiss with my Rune … in our blossom grove … when he finally came home.”
She smiled.
I smiled.
Then she added, “… and my heart almost burst.”
“Forever Always”
By Ed Williamson
Playlist
I had a LOT of songs that helped me write this story. But there were two bands that were basically its entire soundtrack. Normally, in my soundtracks, I vary the genres, but I wanted to keep true to the inspiration, and show you the songs that help mold Poppy and Rune’s tale.
One Direction
Infinity
If I Could Fly
Walking in the Wind
Don’t Forget Where You Belong
Strong
Fireproof
Happily
Something Great
Better Than Words
Last First Kiss
I Want to Write You a Song
Love You Goodbye
Little Mix
Secret Love Song Pt II
I Love You
Always Be Together
Love Me or Leave Me
Turn Your Face
Other Artists
Eyes Shut — Years & Years
Heal — Tom Odell
Can’t Take You With Me — Bahamas
Let The River In — Dotan
Are You With Me — Suzan & Freek
Stay Alive — José González
Beautiful World — Aiden Hawken
The Swan (From Carnival of the Animals) — Camille Saint-Saëns
When We Were Young — Adele
Footprints — Sia
Lonely Enough — Little Big Town
Over and Over Again — Nathan Sykes
To listen to the soundtrack, click here
Acknowledgements
Mam and Dad, thank you for supporting me with this book. Your personal battles with cancer have changed, not only me, but our small family. Your bravery, but most importantly, your positivity and inspirational attitudes in the face of something so difficult, made me look at life in a completely different way. Although the past few years have been incredibly rough, it has made me appreciate every single breath of every day. It has made me appreciate you both beyond measure—the best parents in the world. I love you both so much! Thank you for letting me use your experiences in this story. It made it true. It made it real.
Nanna. You were taken from us far too young. You were my very best friend, and I loved you to pieces—still do. You were hilarious, and always such a positive and bright presence. When I thought of Poppy’s mamaw, there was no one else I would ever model her on. I was ‘the apple of your eye’ and your best buddy, and even though you’re gone, I hope this book has made you proud! I hope you’re smiling up there with Granddad, in your own little version of the blossom grove.
Jim, my late father-in-law. You were so very brave until the end, a man to look up to. A man your son and wife were so very proud of. You’re very much missed.
To my husband. Thank you for encouraging me to write a Young Adult novel. I told you the idea for this novel a long time ago, and you pushed me to write it, despite being it so different from my usual genres. I owe this book to you. Love you always. For infinity.
Sam, Marc, Taylor, Isaac, Archie and Elias. Love you all.
To my fabulous beta readers: Thessa, Kia, Rebecca, Rachel and Lynn. As always, a HUGE thank you. This one was a toughie, but you stuck with me—even though I made most of you cry! I love you all.
Thessa, my star and mega-assistant. Thank you for manning my Facebook page and keeping me in check. Thank you for all the edits you make me. But mostly, thank you for encouraging me to keep the epilogue in this novel—we had some stress over that decision, didn’t we? Okay, LOTS! But you were my backbone though this. Love you to bits. You never ignore my frantic texts late at night. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.
Gitte, my lovely Norwegian Viking! Thank you for jumping into this adventure with me. From the minute I told you I had this idea for a YA weepy—oh, and the guy was Norwegian—you encouraged me to write it. Thank you for the many translations. Thank you for the muse—he’s the perfect Rune! But most of all, thank you for being you. You are a true and fabulous friend. You had my back the entire way. Love you, Pus Pus!
Kia! What a fabulous team we make! You’ve been the BEST editor and proofreader ever. This the first of many stories to come! Thank you for all the hard work. It meant the world to me. Oh, and thank you for all the music checks! My fellow Golden Bow(er) (along with Rachel). Who’d have thought that all those years of us playing cello would come in this handy?
Liz, my fabulous agent. I love you. Here’s to my first foray into YA!
Gitte and Jenny (both this time!) from TotallyBooked Book Blog. Again, I have nothing to say but thank you and I love you. Everything I do, you encourage. Every genre change I make, you support. You are two of the very best people I know. I cherish our friendship… it’s “as special as special can be”.
And a huge thank you to all the many, many more wonderful book blogs that support me and promote my books. Celesha, Tiffany, Stacia, Milasy, Neda, Kinky Girls, Vilma… Gah! I could go on and on.
Tracey-Lee, Thessa and Kerri, a huge thank you for running my street team: The Hangmen Harem. Love you all!
My @FlameWhores. With me through thick and thin. I adore you girls!
To my street team members—LOVE YOU!!!
Jodi and Alycia, I love you girls. You are my dear friends.
My IG girls!!!! Adore you all!
And lastly, my wonderful readers. I want to thank you for reading this novel. I imagine right now your eyes are swollen and your cheeks are red from all the crying. But I hope you love Poppy and Rune as much as I do. I hope their story will stay in your hearts forever.
<
br /> I couldn’t do this without you.
I love you.
Forever Always.
For Infinity.
Author Biography
Tillie Cole hails from a small town in the North-East of England. She grew up on a farm with her English mother, Scottish father and older sister and a multitude of rescue animals. As soon as she could, Tillie left her rural roots for the bright lights of the big city.
After graduating from Newcastle University with a BA Hons in Religious Studies, Tillie followed her Professional Rugby player husband around the world for a decade, becoming a teacher in between and thoroughly enjoyed teaching High School students Social Studies before putting pen to paper, and finishing her first novel.
Tillie has now settled in Austin, Texas, where she is finally able to sit down and write, throwing herself into fantasy worlds and the fabulous minds of her characters.
Tillie is both an independent and traditionally published author, and writes many genres including: Contemporary Romance, Dark Romance, Young Adult and New Adult novels.
When she is not writing, Tillie enjoys nothing more than curling up on her couch watching movies, drinking far too much coffee, while convincing herself that she really doesn’t need that extra square of chocolate.
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