Thankfully, a few minutes later the champagne arrived, and the waiter poured them each a glass.
“To Kate and Ian,” Susan said, raising her glass.
“To Kate and Ian,” the women chorused. Kate held her glass, unsure what to say.
They clinked glasses and drank. Kate relaxed more than she ever thought possible with her mom around.
Her mom wrinkled her nose. “I never did care for champagne.” Kate took another drink of champagne like the rebel she never was. “Kate, your father and I would like to offer you a large sum of money toward a down payment on a house or toward the wedding. Your choice.”
Kate nearly choked on her champagne. She hadn’t expected her parents to do anything beyond show up at the appointed time for the wedding.
“I recommend the house option,” her mom said. “In case of divorce you’ll still come out ahead. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.”
“Maxine!” Amber chided. “This is a celebration.”
Kate put her hand up. “I’m well aware of the statistics and literature on marriage outcomes, Mom.”
“Excellent,” her mom said. “I wish I’d been so knowledgeable before my early marriages. I also wish I had kept my name.”
“What? Your what?” Kate exclaimed. “I thought you were only with dad.”
Amber looked surprised too. Susan discreetly sipped her champagne.
Her mom retrieved a soft lens cleaning cloth from the pocket of her tailored pants, took off her glasses, and cleaned them industriously. She blinked, her blue eyes softer now when they met Kate’s across the table. “I was married twice before your dad.”
Kate’s jaw dropped. She did a quick calculation. Her mom was thirty-five when she had Kate. For two failed marriages before that, she must’ve started young. “Who? How long were you married? How old were you?”
“I was twenty-two and twenty-six,” her mom replied, answering only the last question. She slid her glasses back on. “I learned the hard way that you want a work partner for a successful relationship. Neither of my exes respected my career as a physicist.”
“Holy crap,” Amber said.
“Did you love those other men?” Kate asked.
Her mom cleared her throat before confiding, “Yes.”
“But what happened? Why did those first two marriages fail and the one with dad stuck?” She gripped her hands together tightly, both fearing the answer and needing to know. Because Kate was, unfortunately, a lot like her mom.
Her mom sighed. “If you must know, those first two marriages were all sizzle and heat.” She leaned across the table. “Kate, do you understand my subtle meaning?”
“Yes,” she whispered. Sex. Her mom had rowdy sex relationships. She shuddered at the thought.
Unfortunately that was exactly what she had with Ian.
Doom pulled out a chair and took a seat.
Her eyes darted around the table. Amber and Susan averted their eyes in polite silence.
Her mom went on. “Your dad was also a physicist working at the same university. We’re work partners, as I said. Our marriage has always been a meeting of minds. I wish the same for you.”
She felt light-headed. The quiet, cold home life of her childhood made perfect sense now. Her mom’s marriage that worked wasn’t a passionate love match, but rather an intellectual merger. Her parents probably only had sex the one time necessary to conceive her!
Was her passionate love match going to fall apart? Had she calculated incorrectly?
Dammit! She hadn’t calculated at all!
“In any case,” her mom went on, “we’ve saved for this occasion and are willing to pay for your first house or first marriage. Since you went to Princeton for undergrad, we were able to save considerably on college tuition.” Kate had attended undergrad tuition-free since her parents were both professors there. Even in grad school she’d had a partial scholarship.
Your first marriage, Doom whispered in her ear, sounding exactly like her mother. The words echoed through her head, taunting her. Her mom had been divorced twice. Her dad had been divorced once. Kate had bad genes and a bad background. And poor Ian came from a stable loving family. Why in the world would he want a bad luck woman like her?
She broke out in a sweat and guzzled her champagne and then her ice water too for good measure.
The food arrived and Kate stared at her plate of rosemary chicken, all appetite gone.
Finally Susan piped up in an overly enthusiastic voice. “Kate, I would love to help pay for the wedding so you and Ian will have a special day. Then you can use your mom’s generous gift for a house.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Kate said. Susan was a widow on a fixed income.
“I have some life insurance money,” Susan said. “Barry had money of his own for his wedding, who the heck knows when Daniel will ever settle down, so that leaves Ian. Please don’t stop me from spoiling my youngest son!” Daniel was the middle son, a soldier, now in military intelligence. He never even dated. Just hookups. Ian had told her all about it when she’d first met Daniel at Barry and Amber’s wedding and thought he was hot. Still.
“I don’t know,” Kate said.
“It’s what his dad would’ve wanted,” Susan said quietly. There was no way to say no to that. Kate had never met Ian’s dad, but his death six years ago had been a difficult loss for all of their family. Susan had been very close with her husband.
Kate swallowed hard. “Of course, thank you.”
Her mom spoke up. “It’s settled, then. Now we need to nail down the logistics for the engagement party.”
Everyone started eating and chatting about the engagement party that Susan, Amber, and apparently her mom were planning for them, but Kate found she couldn’t even smile. Her gut was churning, her mind was total chaos, and her heart hurt.
Because now she had cold feet.
~ ~ ~
Kate had thought the wedding gown shopping would be a quick trip. She already had a picture of the gown she wanted on her cell phone—a strapless poufy dress of tulle with a lace bodice and a cute bow at the waist. She had the needed breast size to hold it up. No veil, just a tiara. She’d found the gown online for the bargain price of one hundred twenty-five dollars. She figured she’d just show the clerk what she wanted and wait for them to bring it or special order it.
Unfortunately, the beautiful bridal boutique where they headed right after lunch didn’t have the gown Kate wanted. She took that as a very bad sign. That, in itself, was a very bad sign because Kate didn’t believe in bad signs. She could feel herself losing it as one bad sign piled on top of another. The upscale boutique had at least fifty gowns in the petite section, none of them under five hundred dollars. She was about to hyperventilate. Not only was this her first marriage, it was her first time spending a lot of money. Other people’s money, which made it much worse. What if things didn’t work out? What if everyone paid for all this wedding and engagement stuff and it was only for one day, one big party, that might be her last wedding or might be her first of many.
Maybe she was doomed by her mom’s prediction. Ian wasn’t a work partner at all. And that was the marriage that stuck for her mom. Ian had no clue what she worked on, though he nodded and smiled at the appropriate intervals. Pant. Pant. She was hyperventilating. Her first panic attack couldn’t be far off. Pant. Pant. She’d read about panic attacks in brides who were engaged to the wrong men. Pant. Pant.
She bolted outside and sucked in air.
Amber appeared at her side a moment later. “Are you okay?”
Kate’s mouth felt tight. Like she had her mom’s tight clipped voice through tight lips. She was turning into her mom already! Breathe, dammit!
Amber put a hand on her arm. “Kate?”
Kate took a deep breath in and out. She heard her own clipped voice as if from some distance and listened like a horrified bystander. “I’m uncomfortable with the price tags on these gowns.” And many other uncomfortable things
she didn’t dare voice lest she give them power and they destroyed everything! Breathe!
Amber hugged her. “It’s okay. Maxine says she wants to buy it for you. It’s a gift from her and Dad since you’re their only daughter.”
Kate stiffened, returning to herself at this terribly inaccurate statement. “That’s wrong. You’re their daughter too. Did they pay for your wedding gown?” Amber was her half-sister, true, but they had the same dad and had lived together since Kate was six and Amber was thirteen. They. Were. Family.
Amber smiled. “No, but I have a rich husband.” This was true. Barry’s Giggle Snap app had been a windfall. Somehow Amber got the rich genius husband and Kate got the charmer. Not how she would’ve guessed things would go with Amber being the free-spirited artist and Kate being a scientist. Pant. Pant. Things were all askew. What if they switched brothers? Her brain got even more squirrely from there, frantically trying to outrun her anxiety with reasonable platitudes. Ian was wonderful. She was awful. Ian wasn’t here. She didn’t want to be here.
She was doomed and dragging Ian down with her!
Everyone was going to go broke on this wedding that might or might not have been a huge mistake!
She never should’ve proposed!
“Kate,” Amber said gently, “you look a little pale.”
Breathe!
Kate took another deep breath in and out. When she finally spoke, her voice came out sounding like her mom despite an effort to sound normal. “I prefer to order the inexpensive gown online.” At least no one would go broke on her messed-up self.
“Are you upset about something?” Amber asked.
“I wish Ian were here,” she muttered.
“Aww, you guys are so cute. I love seeing you in love. Come on, I’ll help you pick. I know what you like with all the puffy gowns. We’ll find something together.”
“Let’s do something crazy,” Kate said because she really didn’t want to go back in there and hyperventilate again, which would inevitably lead to a panic attack, proving she was a bride engaged to the wrong man.
Amber grinned. “Hit me.”
Kate smacked her arm.
“Ow! You dope.” Amber gave her a little smack back on the arm. “I didn’t mean literally.”
“Oh.”
“Hit me with your best crazy idea.”
“I would like a piercing.” The idea was the craziest thing she could think of at the moment, considering she hated needles.
“Where?”
Kate pointed to her earlobes. “I’ve never had earrings.”
“You would look so cute with earrings! Especially if your hair’s up, we can get some crystal drop earrings that would look wonderful with your dream bridal tiara.”
“Or just for every day,” Kate said. “Except for in the lab.”
Amber pushed Kate’s hair over her ear. “Perfect. You can take them in and out whenever you want. Switch them up. They won’t get in your way like a bracelet or necklace.”
“Does it hurt?” Kate belatedly asked. Not that it mattered. Anything to avoid the carousel of horror—panic attacks, wasted money, her mother—awaiting her in the bridal boutique. Her mom was now standing very close to a mirror in the middle of the shop, staring herself down. This odd behavior seemed a very bad sign on top of a huge pile of bad signs.
“Piece of cake,” Amber replied. “We’ll do that after the manicure. Let’s go try on gowns.”
“Manicure? How long is this day?” Kate blurted. At Amber’s annoyed look, she quickly amended, “I mean, how many things do you have planned?”
“It’s a surprise. Now just relax and enjoy.”
Kate dug her heels in. “Relax and enjoy” was not in her DNA, and the alcohol had worn off enough to remind her of that. She blurted the first thing she could think of to distract her sister. “Perhaps a tattoo would also be a good idea. I could wear that in the lab.”
Amber narrowed her eyes. “You want a tattoo? You? You pass out every time you get a needle.”
Kate looked through the front window of the boutique, saw her mom pacing back and forth, and for some reason that just wound her tighter. “Yes.”
“What kind?” Amber asked.
“Big and colorful,” Kate replied. “The kind that takes seven hours or more.”
“Seven hours, huh?”
“Or more.” Why was her mom pacing? Did she know the marriage was doomed?
“And what would you get?”
“Hopefully not hepatitis C or any other communicable disease.”
“I meant what design,” Amber said dryly.
Kate turned back to her sister. “I’ll ask the artist to surprise me.”
Amber pulled out her cell and punched a few buttons. She handed the phone to Kate. “Talk.”
“Hello,” Kate said. “Who’s this?”
“It’s me,” Ian said.
His deep voice soothed her immediately. “Hi,” she said, turning her back on Amber for privacy.
“Why’d you call in the middle of your girls’ day out?” Ian asked.
“I didn’t call. Amber did.”
“Put Amber on.”
She handed the phone back to Amber, who said, “We’re at the bridal boutique. She’s freaking out, talk her down,” and handed back the phone.
“What’s wrong?” Ian asked.
Kate shot her sister a dark look. “I’m not freaking out. Amber is high on big-sister ego.”
Amber laughed heartily and went back inside the boutique.
“How was lunch?” Ian asked.
“How was Morgan?” she snapped. “Sorry.” She really shouldn’t be talking to Ian in her current state. He couldn’t help it if Doom, aka her mother, had taken over her brain.
She suddenly realized the women, including the salesclerk, were all watching her curiously from inside the boutique. Nothing to see here, ladies! Just a doomed bride chatting with her equally doomed groom!
“She’s fine,” Ian said calmly. “We finished work hours ago.” He sounded so normal it pulled her back from the crazy edge. “Did you have a good lunch?”
She turned away from the front window and all the curious eyes. “I had rosemary chicken.”
“Uh-huh. How’s the gown shopping going?”
“They don’t have my preferred gown.”
“Your mom doing a number on you?”
“If by number you mean is she making me tense, then yes. But that’s always the case.”
“Why are you freaking out?” he asked gently.
She blinked, her eyes hot, her throat tight.
“Kate,” he prompted.
“I’m afraid I’m turning into my mother,” she whispered.
“Impossible. You’re not a shape-shifter.”
She choked on a laugh and wiped her eyes. “I’m afraid you don’t know what you’re getting with me.”
“Believe me, I know.”
She wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. He’d said she was difficult to live with. She stepped further away from the shop and whispered, “I just found out my mom was divorced twice before my dad.”
“So?”
“She said they were passionate love matches and that’s why they didn’t work out.”
“They were probably losers.”
“Oh.” For some reason, she hadn’t considered that. But then she remembered her dad and their working relationship. “The marriage that stuck was a meeting of minds.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
She hated to admit it, but Ian had a right to know. “I come from bad genes.”
“Poor thing, beautiful, smart, and sexy. So horrible.”
She shook her head, though he couldn’t see her. Ian was terribly biased. “I almost hyperventilated from cold feet.”
“I’ll warm them up next time I see you.”
Ian had an answer for everything, it seemed. But did he realize this could possibly be her first marriage and that could mean a lot of money down the drain fo
r both their families? She was afraid to say the words “first marriage,” which even now made her queasy. They were stuck in her head like a horrible song sung by her mother.
“What else?” he asked.
“We’re a passionate love match. Not a meeting of minds.”
“Works for me.”
“Oh.”
“Though I’d argue that we do meet in a truly mental place on occasion. Sadly, it’s true we’re mostly about sex.”
She could hear the smile in his voice. “You’re teasing.”
“You’re not your mother.”
She really wanted that to be true. Of course, intellectually she understood she wasn’t her mother, but the similarities and her family history did give her pause.
“My mom wants to buy me a really expensive gown,” she said, subtly touching on the first-marriage big-expense problem. “Even though it’s just for one day.”
“You wouldn’t be Cinderella if it was for more than one day. Let her go nuts.”
“Yeah?”
“If she offered, let her. Geez, Kate, when has she ever bought you a dress?”
Never. He was right. She’d never been allowed to wear dresses as a kid. Wow. This was kinda weird now that she thought about it.
“Isn’t it strange that she wants to?” she asked.
“Maybe she realized it was about damn time.”
“Ian,” she said slowly, “did you talk to her about this ahead of time?”
“Will you be mad if I did?”
She gasped. “I can’t believe you!”
“Love you too. Now go buy a pretty dress.” He hung up.
She stood there for a long moment, a little dazed, her heart full of amazed wonder at the way Ian looked out for her. He must’ve called her mom this morning when Kate was on the road with Doom. While she was busy freaking out about their relationship and what it meant that he wasn’t with her this weekend, he’d been making sure she had a good time. Her bad luck genes didn’t faze him at all. Not even her cold feet made him waver.
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