‘What do you think you’re going to do?’ he taunted softly. ‘Walk out through the front door? It doesn’t work like that, Stella.’
‘I’ll make it,’ she promised angrily. ‘Because I won’t let my child grow up with such an emotionally stunted father. You think you can give this child riches, but you’re poor in what really matters. I won’t let my child grow up in an atmosphere devoid of love.’
‘Then you love it, Stella. That’s why you’re here,’ he said bluntly. ‘Because I have to do my duty.’
‘Of course you do,’ she said bleakly, feeling the blow to her heart. ‘And I have to do my duty—to my baby.’
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
STELLA GRIPPED THE back of a chair as Eduardo slammed the door behind him. Leaving her. He didn’t think for a minute that she’d escape. And he was right. How could she, with all the royal protection officers, the cameras, the security here keeping people out? Keeping her trapped.
Then you love it. That’s why you’re here.
He couldn’t have been clearer. He wasn’t going to be the father she needed for her child. And she knew how much it hurt to have a parent who let you down time and time again. To have a husband who was just as emotionally unavailable and unsupportive... That would tear her in two.
He’d been so cold. A different person from the man who’d held her, listened to her, cared for her last night. For an hour she’d felt that heaven might be right here. But he’d ripped that façade away in seconds this morning.
She crumpled to the floor, tears running down her face.
‘Stella?’
She looked up as the door opened again. Then she groaned and lifted her hands to hide her face. Her father was here. He’d finally turned up and it was when she least wanted to see him.
‘Stella?’ He rushed towards her. ‘What’s happened?’
‘Nothing.’ She quickly stood up and stepped back. As if she could ever tell him.
But the tears wouldn’t stop. And she couldn’t breathe properly.
‘I’m sorry you have to see me like this. Crying like a...girl.’ She sniffed. So angry and hurt and humiliated. ‘Can we talk later?’
‘No.’ Her father had stopped a foot from her, his face ashen. ‘This can’t wait.’
She pulled a handful of tissues from a box on the desk and drew in another deep breath. But she couldn’t control the sobs.
‘Stop, Stella.’ Her father reached out and touched her shoulder.
She froze, waited for what felt like eons before he spoke again, gravelly, sombre and slow.
‘When I saw you last night at the ball with him I wondered. Thought maybe I’d been wrong. But it seems I wasn’t.’
‘Wrong about what?’ What was her uncommunicative father trying to tell her?
He sat down heavily in a nearby chair and looked up at her. ‘A few months ago you went missing from the barracks for the afternoon,’ he said slowly, looking more tired than she’d ever seen him. ‘That same day Prince Eduardo pulled out of a public appearance at the last minute. He was due to speak at a gallery not far from the base. When he was seen the next day he had a black eye. He made lame jokes about falling over but there was conjecture—it was the kind of bruise you got from a fight, not a crash into a door.’
General Zambrano stopped. The grim look became a thunderous frown again.
‘The next thing you’re pregnant, and clearly shocked about it. Then you disappear—only to reappear a few days later married to the Prince.’
Stella stared at her father. That was the longest speech he’d given her in years. ‘What are you asking me?’
‘Did he hurt you? Did you try to fight him off and fail?’
Her father thought Eduardo had assaulted her in some way?
‘Oh, no. No. No. No.’ Stella stepped closer, so shocked her tears stopped. ‘Eduardo would never...’
Her father didn’t look relieved. ‘I wouldn’t let him serve in the army because of the risk to other soldiers. He would have been a target. He can serve the country better elsewhere and Prince Antonio agrees. But Eduardo was very angry.’
‘He still is.’ Stella managed half a smile. ‘He would have been a good soldier.’
‘Did he hurt you?’ her father asked again.
‘Not in the way you mean. Never.’ She looked down, embarrassed at discussing something so personal with her father. ‘What we’ve shared, I’ve wanted. The trouble is I want more than he’s able to give me.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Meaning we had a very brief affair and I got pregnant and he’s done “the right thing”... More than that, he’s done everything he can to protect me and this baby. But that’s all it is.’
‘Is he supportive?’ Her father cleared his throat. ‘He’s ensuring you have the best doctors?’
‘Of course.’ Her heart seized. She still hadn’t told Eduardo. She couldn’t—certainly not now. But because of her position as his wife she’d have the best specialist care.
‘You were arguing. I heard raised voices from along the corridor. And you’re upset.’
‘Because I’ve been stupid.’ To her horror, her eyes filled with tears again.
‘Stella...’
She couldn’t stand such a quiet word from her father. From the General.
‘I can’t be with a man who doesn’t love me,’ she cried. ‘I won’t live like that any more. I deserve more.’ She covered her face with her hands, willing her father to leave.
But he didn’t move.
‘I’ve tried to protect you for so long,’ he said unevenly. ‘Misguidedly.’
She looked up at him. He thought he’d been protecting her? ‘You wouldn’t let them promote me.’
In his eyes she saw so much. Hopelessness. Helplessness. Vulnerability. Love.
Her heart broke all over again.
‘What can I do?’ he asked gruffly.
‘I need to get away from here,’ she said wretchedly. ‘I need time to think.’
He stood. ‘How quickly can you be ready?’
‘I’m a soldier. I’m ready now.’
‘Then I’ll arrange it.’
Wordless, she felt her eyes well up again. All she could do was nod and turn away.
He would never open up to her the way she’d like him to. Never give her a paternal hug. Never tell her he loved her. But finally it seemed he might try to show her.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
EDUARDO STALKED ALONG the long corridor back to his apartment. Five hours had passed since their argument and his anger hadn’t lessened any.
She was scared about her pregnancy. That was why she’d called for Dr Russo. She hadn’t wanted to tell him—her husband. She didn’t trust him. Didn’t want to confide in him. Didn’t want to be with him. She’d said he was emotionally stunted.
He was feeling all the emotions now.
‘Stella?’ he called, as soon as he opened his apartment door. But his voice rang out unanswered in the empty atmosphere.
Adrenalin hit, bunching muscles, sharpening focus. Swiftly he sought out her belongings, but her duffel was missing, along with her old jeans and tee shirts and her trainers. She’d left her rings on the table beside the bed. Midnight’s Passion was beside them, the platinum chain coiled around it.
Shocked, he released the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.
She’d left him. She’d walked out through the front door. Of course she had. Because she was a damn good soldier, always a survivor, and she’d escaped.
From him.
His breathing quickened, lungs hurting. Heart hurting. He bent his head, screwing up his eyes so the sight of the sapphire wouldn’t mock him.
But it still did. God, it hurt. He wanted her. Needed her back
. He loved her.
He swore. Short, pithy, pained. Then he moved. He had to freaking well move. He had to find her.
He picked up his phone. Called a captain he trusted.
‘The Princess. When did you last see her?’ he demanded, the second the guy answered.
‘Uh, the General came to see her and—’
‘When was that?’ Eduardo scowled, sourness sinking into his gut.
‘He arrived just before you left for the hospital,’ the Captain answered warily.
After Eduardo had argued with her and walked out. Had she had a showdown with her father? ‘When did the General leave?’
‘I believe they went out to lunch—’
‘They what?’ Confounded, Eduardo couldn’t believe his ears.
‘Uh...lunch. At a restaurant, I think—’
Eduardo didn’t bother listening to the rest. He turned on his heel and ran to the other end of the palace to General Carlos Zambrano’s quarters. He thudded on the door so hard it rattled the hinges. And sure enough General Carlos himself answered it.
‘Where is Stella?’ He pushed past the man into the room.
‘She’s your wife. Shouldn’t you know?’
‘She is her own person,’ Eduardo clipped an answer as he looked around the lounge. ‘You really had lunch with her?’
‘No, I’ve been in a meeting,’ the General answered.
The old man was lying. Eduardo should have come back to the palace hours ago. But he’d been unable to cancel that last engagement because he hadn’t wanted to let them down at the last minute. Instead he’d let Stella down.
‘My daughter is very strong,’ the General said. ‘She doesn’t grant many people the power to hurt her.’ He looked at him very carefully, his frown deepening. ‘I thought you had hurt her.’
‘I have.’
‘No.’ Carlos moved impatiently. ‘I mean physically. Back when she got pregnant.’
Dumbfounded, Eduardo stared, and then rage seared. ‘I would never—’
‘That’s what she told me.’ Her father raised his hands. ‘She said you are a good man. I was just...protective. And unwilling to trust her judgement.’
‘Good Lord, you really give her a hard time.’ Eduardo breathed hard to recover his equilibrium. He was furious. What had he ever done to make him think that? He might be arrogant and entitled, but he wasn’t a psychopath.
‘I’m sorry.’ The General sighed. ‘No man was ever going to be good enough for her. Not even a prince.’
Eduardo stared at the older man, seeing for the first time the pallor, the anxiety in his eyes. ‘What the hell is going on?’
‘I’m worried about her,’ Carlos admitted gruffly. ‘I lost her mother and it all but destroyed me. All these years I did what I thought was best for Stella. But I think I have been wrong. In sending her away...in protecting her from active duty—’
‘In helping her run away from me. That was wrong.’ Eduardo struggled to stay calm.
The General froze.
‘I know you’ve helped her.’ Eduardo’s anger simmered like a pot of molten lava, yet he was still unable to believe this horrible reality. ‘You might as well tell me where she is now, because I will find her. I have more resources, more patience than you can imagine. I have to know she is okay. I have to see that for myself.’
He realised now just how fragile she was. And just how courageous.
Last night he’d told her she wasn’t alone any more. But the first time she’d questioned it—the first time she’d needed him—he’d walked out. She’d been hurt and he’d hurt her more. Because he’d been so wrapped up in his own insecurity he hadn’t seen how truly upset she’d been.
He was an idiot. She’d never had the emotional security she’d craved. Of course she was going to test him. This morning she’d done what she did best and challenged him. And he’d let her down.
He shouldn’t have left her to wake by herself, because something had happened to set off her doubts. He shouldn’t have stood there silently judging her when she still hadn’t told him her fears about the birth. These were huge fears for her, and she’d needed to feel totally safe before she shared them. He’d needed to earn that trust. And now she’d run away because she was used to being alone. Because she thought she still was.
That broke his heart.
How could he expect her to open up to him the way he wanted when he hadn’t done the same? He’d shut her out from how he really felt. So often when they’d verged on true intimacy he’d turned things physical. Kept her close, but kept that last bit of himself distant. Safe. Until last night.
Those kids he’d seen at the hospital today kept on fighting. They faced things far more fearful. He’d been a coward. After that day on the beach he’d been too proud to chase her—in reality he’d been too much of a chicken. Because he’d been as freaked out by the intensity of that afternoon as she had. Only he hadn’t been man enough to admit it—not even to himself.
Then fate had given him a second chance, and he’d gladly taken advantage of it.
Yet he’d still screwed it up.
So he’d damn well find her. But as soon as he knew she was okay he’d set her free. If she still wanted to, she could live overseas. He’d find her a safe haven. His heart tore at the thought of letting her go, but he’d do whatever was necessary to ensure her happiness.
‘You all right? You’re breathing funny.’
The General was staring at him as if he’d grown an extra head.
‘I need to find her.’
‘You should already know where she is,’ her father said. ‘She’s where she always goes when she needs time to think.’
She wanted to think? Hope bubbled up within him. If she needed to think then it might not be too late.
Now he tried to think. Stella’s answer to everything was exercise. She always went for a run. Or a swim.
The answer hit like a lightning bolt and he almost laughed at the simplicity. The obviousness. More hope bubbled. He didn’t deserve her if he wasn’t right. If he took the Maserati he could get there in less than half an hour...
But his way out of the palace was blocked by his brother, standing in the high-studded, gilded atrium, clad in an Armani tuxedo and adjusting a gleaming cufflink.
‘Are you ready?’ Antonio scowled at Eduardo’s jeans.
He’d forgotten about the opening night of the freaking opera and the damn politicians he was supposed to schmooze. ‘Antonio, I can’t right now.’
His brother looked implacable. ‘All I need you to do is—’
‘I can’t go with you.’ Eduardo interrupted shortly.
His brother’s expressionless eyes narrowed. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘It’s Stella. She’s gone.’
‘Already?’
‘Be human!’ Eduardo shouted. ‘Be human for one goddamn minute.’
Antonio stood so rigid he looked as if he’d been cast in metal.
‘I’m sorry that you lost Alessia.’ Eduardo gazed at his brother and offered his wretched apology. ‘I am so sorry I never told you she was sick. I will always be sorry that I never told you.’
His lungs hurt with the effort of breathing. With the effort of not pushing past Antonio and combing the streets in a desperate, hopeless, fear-filled search.
‘I know you put the Crown first. But I’m not you. I can’t do that. Stella comes first for me now and she always will. I can’t be here. I can’t do this. I have to go after her.’
As he went to go past him Antonio gripped his arm with a vice-like hand. Eduardo turned and looked into his brother’s face. They almost stood eye to eye.
‘I don’t blame you for my not going to see Alessia sooner.’ Antonio spoke with quiet, lethal intensity. ‘I could have gone. So ma
ny times. And I didn’t. That was my decision. My fault. My guilt.’
Eduardo shook his head. ‘I should have told you. I should have made you go. I should have been a better brother. To you and to her.’
A muscle jerked in Antonio’s jaw. But then he lifted his hand and ruffled Eduardo’s hair in that old tease of years ago. ‘It’s still too long, but it suits you.’ He released Eduardo with a small, wry smile. ‘Go. Get out of here. Do what’s right.’
Eduardo heard Antonio’s quiet words behind him as he strode away.
‘Do what I didn’t.’
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
THE TIDE HAD TURNED. Waves rushed higher. In another hour there’d only be a narrow strip of dry sand left at the base of the cliff. She needed to walk back around the rocks to the bay. She wasn’t going to risk free-climbing up the cliff now she had a baby on board.
She splashed in the water, her sandals wet. Her father’s man was waiting around the next bay, ready to drive her wherever she wanted to go. She just had to decide where that was going to be.
To Eduardo? Or to anonymity on an island a thousand miles away from this one?
She knew where he’d gone. Her father had told her. And even though it was for a good cause it had made her angrier. She’d have gone with him if he’d asked her to. If he’d told her. But he hadn’t asked. And she hadn’t said anything either. She hadn’t told him so much. Neither of them had.
That was when it finally hit her. Everything that was wrong with her father was also wrong with her. She’d been so uncommunicative it was unfair.
She could create a good life for herself here. She could be brave. She could tell Eduardo she’d fallen for him and ask him to be gentle when he wanted out of their marriage. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t love her. He desired her. He respected her. Couldn’t that be enough to make this a success?
Not if she kept acting like a sulky, spoilt child.
She’d spent her life trying to please her father, instead of letting it go and just being herself. Pleasing herself. Her life could have been so much richer if she hadn’t tried to control herself and remained so intensely focused on that one goal. She’d been without friends and lonely for so long because she hadn’t let people in. She could have joked with some of her fellow soldiers about the General being her dad. Instead she’d isolated herself by trying to prove herself for so long.
The Secret That Shocked De Santis Page 17