by Skye Taylor
“He told me boys have a one-track mind when it comes to girls. And it’s all about sex and how far a girl will let them go.”
“Well, I doubt sex is the only thing boys think about when they’re with girls, but it’s probably right up there at the top of the list,” Zoe offered as she thought Jake’s bald assessment over. She thought about some of the things her brother Michael had confided when he’d first hit puberty. Things that had shocked Zoe at the time, but after watching three more brothers grow up she’d gotten more comfortable with.
“Testosterone is suddenly ruling their lives, and it’s not just about their voices changing and having to shave for the first time. Boys are suddenly discovering feelings and urges they never had before. It’s natural to want to experiment and find out more. And exciting.” Same deal for grown men as well, Zoe thought ruefully. In retrospect, the only thing Porter had wanted from her was sex. He’d put on a good act to lure her into his bed, and she’d fallen for it.
The light turned red, and Zoe came to a stop, which gave her a chance to really look at her young companion. “Is this about your relationship with Travis?” Ava blushed and looked down at her lap. “Or about Travis and Andrea?”
“Both, I guess.” Ava twisted the fabric of her T-shirt. “Andrea’s got a reputation as the school slut. She hooks up with anyone and everyone. At least that’s what I’ve heard. So, if boys are all so set on getting some, and I won’t put out, then maybe that’s why Travis was with her?” Tears welled up and slid down Ava’s cheeks.
Zoe’s heart swelled in sympathy. She wasn’t so old she’d forgotten how it felt when she’d had a crush on the boy next door. He’d been the first boy to kiss her. And she’d stood there in the shadows behind her father’s garage, thinking she was in love. She had believed he felt the same about her, only to find out later that her heartthrob was doing a lot more than just kissing another girl he’d met at a party to which Zoe hadn’t been invited.
A car tooted, bringing Zoe back to the present and the fact that the light had turned green again. She took her foot off the brake and waved a vague apology to the impatient driver behind her. Route 17 was not a good place to be having a discussion like this.
“Travis isn’t the only fish in the sea. You’re a very pretty girl and—”
“But I love him.”
The anguish in Ava’s voice cut into Zoe with jagged intensity. Zoe wondered if she’d ever felt that strongly about a boy or a man. Certainly not about the fickle kid next door. And definitely not about Porter who she had slept with in spite of not loving him. For a moment, the memory of Jake standing so close she could feel the warmth of his skin flashed into her mind along with the overwhelming desire she’d had for him to kiss her. Had that been just sexual attraction, or had it been her heart’s reaction to the look she’d seen in his eyes earlier in the evening?
Thankfully, they were almost home. Zoe breathed a sigh of relief as they turned off the four-lane road onto Jolee. Nothing further was said until she turned into her own driveway. It was hard keeping her mind on driving safely, answering Ava’s questions in a responsible manner, and keeping her own feelings out of the mix. At least now she could concentrate. She cut the engine and turned in her seat.
“Look, Ava, it probably feels like love, but there should be more to a relationship than just physical attraction. You should have other things in common that you enjoy doing together. Music and your favorite artists. Mutual friends and activities you’re both into. If the only thing Travis wants from you is sex, then it’s not about love. At least, not on his part.”
“It isn’t just about sex. I know it’s not. Travis isn’t like that. He even said it was okay if I wasn’t ready for . . . well, you know. He said he loves me, and he just likes being with me whatever we do. Andrea probably came on to him. Maybe he couldn’t help himself with all those hormones and stuff. Or maybe he was just trying not to hurt Andrea’s feelings.”
Zoe doubted that last rose-colored explanation. Based on the breathless way Debbie had delivered her little bombshell, it was more likely the former, but then, Zoe didn’t really know Travis, so she probably shouldn’t judge. If Travis had moved on, Ava would find out soon enough on her own. But it was a little alarming to hear that Ava and Travis had actually discussed having sex. No wonder Jake was worried! Please God, let it be that Travis had moved on and wouldn’t be pressuring Ava into anything. Jake would be out for blood if he knew.
“Have you reassured your father that you’re not ready to jump into bed with Travis, or anyone else, for that matter?”
Ava gasped, her eyes growing as wide and dark as the centers of the sunflowers in Zoe’s back yard. “Are you kidding? I could never tell Daddy a thing like that.”
“Maybe you should. If he knew how responsibly you take such a decision, he might lighten up a little. He’s just worried about you. Fathers tend to worry about their little girls. And trust me, you will always be his little girl, no matter how old you are.”
Ava chuckled sadly. “Yeah. Daddy’s little girl and all that.”
“Don’t knock it.” Zoe wished she’d been Daddy’s little girl. Or at least she wished she could remember being so. Maybe once upon a time she had been. Before her sisters arrived. Before her mother died, and Zoe had had to grow up fast and become the surrogate mom while her sisters were treated like princesses. There had been times Zoe had felt more like Cinderella than she liked to admit.
Jake’s van turned in past the old brick gatepost, pulled around the circle and into his driveway. The twins piled out and ran toward Zoe’s truck.
“Thanks,” Ava said, unbuckling her seatbelt. “For everything. It’s . . . it’s nice to have someone I can talk to. I mean someone older than me. Not that you’re old, but you know—”
Zoe smiled at the young woman sitting next to her. “I know. And you’re welcome. Come over any time.” Zoe climbed down from the truck and then spoke across the hood. “Maybe we can go shopping again. When your father’s credit card has recovered, that is.” When nothing I own fits me anymore.
Ava smiled. “I’d like that.”
“Think about talking to your father. Seriously. He might be a lot more understanding than you’d guess.”
“Miss Zoe! Look what we got!” Lynn almost ran into Zoe in her eagerness.
“Look, Miss Zoe!” Lori waved a sheet of colorful stickers in Zoe’s direction.
The chance to say anything more to Ava was lost in the exuberance of her sisters’ excitement, but Ava smiled before turning away. “I’ll think about it.”
Chapter 10
ZOE WAS UP TO her elbows in dishwater when she heard the knock at the door. Please, God, don’t let it be Jake, she thought as she wiped her hands on a towel. She made an effort to pull the escaped strands of hair that curled wildly about her face back into her elastic. She felt hot, tired, and frumpy, and not in the mood for company.
Her conversation with Ava had gotten her down, remembering all the lost years of her growing up. And the boy next door she’d been so madly in love with who, it turned out, only wanted to grope her when her brothers weren’t watching. And the fact that her father had never had to worry about her dating because no one had ever asked her out. That definitely wasn’t going to be Ava’s problem. She was pretty as a picture, as Zoe’s grandmother would have said. Jake was going to have to fight them off.
Zoe pulled the door open before thinking to look through the peephole. Jake stood on her porch looking tanned, muscular, and amazingly sexy in cargo shorts and a dress shirt with the collar open and the cuffs turned up. As her body reacted to all that undisguised masculine charisma, Zoe sucked in a ragged breath.
“J—” She swallowed and tried again. “Jake? What’s up?”
“I came over to thank you. Can I come in?” He bent to pat the eager heads jostling for space around his legs.
“Sure.” Zoe stepped back to leave him room, but the front hall had suddenly shrunk. “I was, um . . . I was just washing the dishes.” She twisted the dishtowel in her hands and wished she could act her age instead of like a tongue-tied teenager.
“Don’t you have a dishwasher?”
He was definitely standing too close. Zoe edged toward the kitchen and bumped into Jet, stumbled, caught herself, and just managed to cut off the curse that rose to her lips. “I do, but when I turn it on, no water comes into it. I haven’t had time to call a repairman.” She pushed past the dogs and moved into the kitchen.
“I can look at it for you,” Jake offered, following her through the door. “Might be something simple.”
“Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“Why not? You took my daughter shopping and got her rigged out in some really decent gear without breaking the bank. I owe you.”
Jake squatted in front of the dishwasher and turned a dial. Scotch immediately put two paws on Jake’s knee while Jet took advantage of Jake’s proximity to lick his face. Jake laughed, fended off the dogs, and pushed the dishwasher door firmly closed. He put his ear to the front panel. “Hmm!” He leaned sideways, going down onto one knee, opened the door beneath the sink, and peered into the gloom underneath it.
“Jet, come here!” Zoe called the dog away when she would have stuck her head under the sink with Jake’s.
“Found your problem. I think.” Jake reached in, and Zoe marveled at the play of muscles beneath the crisp white shirt. He did something beyond her line of vision, then backed out. “I wish all my problems were that easy.”
Water began flowing into the dishwasher. “How’d you do that?”
“There’s a valve under the sink, and it was turned off for some reason. Might be because the dishwasher leaks, so keep an eye on it. If you see water creeping out onto the floor, turn it off again. C’mere.” He crooked his finger and directed her to come closer.
Close enough for her to see what he wanted to show her was too close for her libido. Now she could smell his aftershave and the clean masculine scent of him. She swallowed and tried to concentrate on what Jake was explaining.
“Just turn this to the right if you see any water where it shouldn’t be.” He pointed to the valve in question, and his arm brushed against her breast.
Zoe’s body immediately ran amok. I’m having hot flashes. I’m too young for hot flashes. God, he smells good! I’m as bad as Travis, for Pete’s sake!
Jake turned away from the mysteries under the sink and smiled at her. His mouth was less than a foot away, and it looked very kissable. Zoe licked her lips. Jake stood abruptly and leaned back against the sink with both hands gripping the edge of the counter.
Slowly, Zoe got control of herself and straightened as well, being careful to move away as she did. I’m shameless. I barely know the man, and all I can think about is kissing him. She pushed herself up onto a stool beside the breakfast bar. He came to talk about Ava. He clearly isn’t as attracted to me as I am to him, and this is getting embarrassing.
Which thought immediately brought her last discussion with Ava to mind, and the troubling tidbit of information Ava had inadvertently let slip. The fact that Travis had tried to convince Ava to have sex and been turned down. Should she tell Jake, or keep the confidence and hope Ava would tell him herself? Little chance of that, Zoe supposed. Not that she would have told her father such a thing either. Good grief! The very idea made her shudder.
“I had a nice time shopping with Ava. She’s a great kid, you know. You must be really proud of her.” Zoe was babbling, but couldn’t stop herself. Jake just stood there, braced against her sink, not saying anything.
Jake couldn’t think what to say. Zoe was telling him something about Ava, but all he could think about was Zoe’s mouth and how much he wanted to kiss it. I gotta get out of here before I do something I can’t take back.
Jake jerked toward the door, then realized he hadn’t acknowledged anything Zoe had said. “I, ah . . . yeah, I am proud of her.” Now that the kitchen island stood between them, he felt safer. He relaxed and remembered what he’d come for. “Actually, Ava’s the reason I came over.”
Zoe leaned one hip against the island and looked at him with a puzzled expression in her hazel eyes—eyes that were surrounded by the thickest lashes he’d ever seen. Rich dark lashes, much darker than her red-gold hair. They made her eyes look big and vulnerable. And perfect in her heart-shaped face with the sprinkling of freckles across her nose.
“What about Ava? I mean, other than that she’s a great kid?” Zoe prompted.
Jake pulled away from the doorjamb and perched on a stool on the opposite side of the island.
“I don’t know how much Ava told you about her mom.” Jake folded his arms and rested them on the worn chopping block surface.
“A little. Ava said she left without saying goodbye a couple years ago. That must have been hard for everyone, not just Ava.”
Jake shrugged. He wasn’t here to talk about himself. “Sometimes I think I’m doing pretty good with her. Ava, I mean. Then we have a scene, and I feel like I’m missing something. She accuses me of not caring how she feels, but it’s not that I don’t care. Maybe I care too much.” He shrugged. “I guess I just don’t always understand. I try, but . . . but I’m just her father, so maybe I’ll never understand. I don’t know.”
“Well, she’s just a kid, so she probably doesn’t get where you’re coming from either. Kind of makes you even. But unless you tell her how you feel, she can’t guess.”
The emphasis Zoe put on the word feel made Jake uneasy. “But I do tell her how I feel. I tell her I love her all the time, and I tell her I’m proud of her, too.”
“Okay, so maybe that was the wrong way to put it.” Zoe pulled her lower lip in and bit it, obviously mulling over what to tell him. “Ava and I have been through a similar experience. An experience that makes us different. We talked about how being the oldest is hard sometimes even when your mom is still around. But when she’s not, it’s even harder. You really just want to be a kid instead of having to fill in for a missing parent. We talked about how that changed our lives and made us different from our peers. But that’s only part of what’s bothering her. She just feels like she’s growing up, and you don’t get it.”
“I don’t get it?” Astonishment at this accusation hit him like a slap in the face. “Did you see what she was wearing the other day? Sweet Jesus! If I hadn’t noticed before, there was no way I could have missed the fact that she’s growing up in that rig. I wanted to wrap her in a blanket and hustle her back into the house before anyone saw her.”
“That’s the point I’m trying to make. Ava wants the world to notice she’s becoming a woman, and you want to pretend she’s not.”
“But you can’t mean I should let her dress like that?” Jake gasped for breath at the outrageous suggestion.
Zoe reached across the island and placed a hand atop of his. A zing of current ripped through him. His instinct was to yank his hand away, but the soft warmth of hers felt too good. He resisted the equal temptation to turn his hand over and close his fingers around hers. Friends don’t hold hands, chump!
“No, I didn’t mean that.” Zoe’s voice was as gentle as her hand. “You were right to send her back to change. But you need to make it abundantly clear that you not only notice that she’s growing up, but that you’re proud of the woman she’s becoming. Treat her more like an equal when you can. She’s taken on a lot of adult responsibility around your house, and in a lot of ways, she is more adult than child. Let her be a partner some of the time instead of Daddy’s little girl. And especially notice the things she does all by herself that don’t need direction from you. Like being a good student and being conscientious about her homework. Thank her for taking the initiative when sh
e does something you didn’t ask her to do. Would that be so difficult?”
Jake shook his head. It felt like a lecture, but he’d asked for her advice. “I guess not.” Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away from Zoe’s and stood up. “I am proud of her, you know. She’s a really great kid.”
“Young woman,” Zoe corrected.
“A young woman,” Jake repeated dutifully. Ava was his baby. Like Marsha had been someone’s baby once. And look what had happened to her. Zoe might be right about treating Ava differently now she was nearly grown up, but damn it! Ava would always be his baby in his heart. He didn’t want her getting knocked up by some randy teenager with more hormones than good sense. And he should know better than most fathers just how easily that could happen.
“I think you might be surprised by her views on sex, too.”
Mother of God! Could this woman read his mind? The telltale heat of embarrassment surging into Jake’s cheeks made him feel vulnerable, but he swallowed his pride and asked, “What are her views on sex? Obviously she’s shared more with you than with me.”
Zoe studied Jake without speaking for a long, unnerving minute. “Don’t take it personally, Jake. I doubt there are very many teenage girls who feel comfortable talking about sex with their fathers. Probably not a lot of them who are entirely comfortable talking about it with their mothers either, for that matter. And she probably wouldn’t have said anything to me except that we ran into a friend of hers at the mall, and her friend was eager to tell her some scandalous bit of gossip about Travis.
“But she does listen to you, Jake. I know because she asked me to confirm something you told her about boys and sex. Which is how I come to know that she said no to Travis when he pushed for more than a few tonsil-tickling kisses.”