by Duffy Brown
“If it’s any consolation, you weren’t the only ones. At least two men at the Pines got taken for a ride and were none too happy about it. Do you remember Willie spending time with some of the men at the Pines more than others? Maybe taking them aside and chatting or going out for lunch? They might have spent time with Emmitt and Foley too.”
Both sisters giggled and Elsie said, “The men around there were Bonnie Sue’s turf, but maybe KiKi will find out who these two other investors are now that she’s over at the Pines. That reminds me; she called us and left you a message.” Elsie pulled a neon pink Post-it from her pocket and read, “‘First off, you got to get yourself a phone or take up raising carrier pigeons so people can get a hold of you. And you need to remember to feed Precious.’ And KiKi said she wants a”—Elsie flipped over the paper—“Cajun catfish sandwich from over there at Bayou Café.”
Elsie stuffed the note back in her pocket and Annie Fritz pulled a hankie from hers and dabbed her eyes. “I don’t know how Sister and I are ever going to repay you two for all that you’ve done for us. You are truly a blessing to take on our problems the way you have.”
I took each of their hands. “We haven’t found the killer yet, but we’re working on it, and besides, you two were with me through Hollis and the divorce from hell and I’ll never forget that. But if you’d like to make KiKi’s day, she’d sure appreciate some of your amazing chocolate doughnuts, and as for me”—I held their hands a little tighter—“how about a red velvet wedding cake?”
I left the Fox to the sisters, now chatting about cake and cream frosting and in better spirits than when they came in. I retrieved my scooter from the garage and putt-putted off to River Street and the Bayou Café. The thing with a scooter is that you can zip around cars and pedestrians and tour buses and sightseeing trolleys. With narrow streets, clueless tourists, and cobblestones, Savannah had been made for scooters—unless someone opened a car door onto the street and sent you flying.
I parked in the shaded lot next to the river as a behemoth container ship from Panama growled its way to the busy deep ports beyond. Back in the day, pirates had docked here, liquored up men at the local bars, then loaded them onto their ships. The Pirate House still had the underground tunnels to the river to prove it. That’s one way to get a crew together.
I crossed River Street, heading for the café nestled in with the other tourist shops, until I spotted Cassandra’s Jewelry store. It was really more upscale fashion jewelry for tourists than for brides-to-be, but I’d gone to school with Cassandra, had been in her wedding, and knew she could size my ring. Besides, I wanted to show it off.
“Well, look with the cat dragged in,” Cassandra gushed as I entered the garden-themed boutique with cherub fountain gurgling in the center and potted palms all around. She lowered her voice to keep the conversation between us and not the shoppers. “What brings you to the snobby side of the tracks?”
I held out my hand. “I need to get it sized.”
“Oh, it’s beautiful!” Cassandra scurried around the glass counter glittering with shiny bobbles and bands, her blonde ponytail swishing side to side. She gave me a hug. “I heard you got the man. That chin, those eyes, enough chest hair to carpet the family room. Hubba-hubba, girlfriend. The high school yearbook said you were the one most likely to win the lottery but lose the ticket. Well, I think you found that ticket.”
I laughed, slid the ring off my finger, and placed it in Cassandra’s palm. “It needs to be a size smaller.”
“Daddy takes care of jewelry repair, and he and Mamma are in New Orleans soaking up cool jazz and warm baguettes. They’ll be back this weekend. I can keep the ring till then or you can take it to another jeweler.”
Having my lovely ring with a stranger felt like abandonment, and being without it for a week felt worse. “I’ll bring the ring back.”
“Except you might lose it with it rolling around on your finger like a doughnut. Do what I did when I went steady with Princeton Wellington and he gave me his high school ring. I wrapped dental floss around the back to make it smaller. It’s waterproof, clear so it doesn’t look horrid, and if you get caramel stuck in your teeth, you’re covered. It should hold you till Dad gets back, and best of all you won’t come in here crying your eyes out over losing a lovely heirloom that can’t be replaced.”
“I’ll do it, and now that I’m here, maybe I could buy something nice for Boone. Something meaningful. It won’t be as sentimental as this ring, but do you have any suggestions?”
“Cufflinks for the big day are always nice.” Cassandra reached into the case and brought out several pairs. “A pocket watch. This is a nice one, and you can engrave it.” She put the watch on the countertop.
“Boone’s not a cufflink or watch kind of guy. He’s more of a bacon-of-the-month-club kind of guy.” I heaved a sigh. “I have no idea what to give him, but you do have nice things.” I pointed to a gold bracelet with a crystal heart. “I know a guy who bought two of those and gave one to each of the girls he’s dating.”
“I had a customer the other day who bought three of them.” Cassandra leaned across the counter. “It was that up-and-comer they wrote about in the paper. I recognized him right off. I bet he was giving one to each of his girlfriends. He’s a class-A player. I see them all the time in here. They give the same jewelry so they don’t have to remember who they gave what to. Total sleazebags. Makes you appreciate Walker and my Archer, that’s for sure. We got the winners.”
I thanked Cassandra, collected one really delicious fried fish sandwich and one broiled piece of soggy cod from the Bayou, made a stop at CVS for dental floss, non-minty, and headed off to the Pines. Since this wasn’t an after-hours clandestine visit like my other outings, I parked the scooter in the back lot and used the gate.
“You better have something fattening in that there bag,” KiKi called from her lounge chair on the deserted patio. “Or consider yourself written out of the will.”
“How about grub and gossip? You can’t beat that now, can you?” I dragged a wrought iron chair from the little white round tables that decorated the patio and sat beside Auntie Kiki. I handed her the sandwich bag and stopped mid-delivery. “Holy mother of pearl! You look worse. Boone couldn’t have seen you like this or he would have called me.” I picked up the phone sitting in her lap and waved it in the air. “Why didn’t you call me? You have a black eye, for Pete’s sake!”
“I bumped into a door that was suddenly open right in front of me for no good reason.” KiKi pulled the sandwich out of the bag, unwrapped the paper, and took a bite. “And as for calling, honey, you don’t have a phone,” she said around a mouthful. “And to tell you the truth, I didn’t call anyone ’cause you’d all go fretting up a storm and want me to leave here, and that’s not going to happen. I finally got Mr. Jim making the martinis the way I like them, I finagled two sausages for breakfast from Lemar, I got a spa appointment at four, and I need to find out why I keep having accidents that are not accidents.”
“Are you kidding? Someone’s on to you snooping around, that’s why. The killer knows you’re looking into Bonnie Sue’s demise and wants you out one way or the other!”
“Maybe, but there’s something else going on around here, and I can’t put my finger on it. I’m not going to just run off like a scared puppy.”
Auntie KiKi took a bite of sandwich, and for a second I shamefully forgot about her injuries as I watched the spicy sauce dripping deliciously off her fingers and onto the napkin. Forget spilled milk; I was really close to crying over spilled sauce.
“Besides,” KiKi continued, snapping me back to the moment, “no one messes with KiKi Vanderpool and gets away with it, but I will promise to keep in contact and call. Fact is, I bought a phone cover to match my luggage. I got it online and the boys around here helped me get the shipping right. Emmitt and Foley even stopped bickering for five minutes to try and figure things out so I’d get the case in one day and not three. An LV case is a mite extravag
ant, but it gave me a chance to talk to the guys and I got some information. Every man likes helping a woman in distress.”
KiKi leaned a little closer. “First of all, none of them trust Dexter, and they’ve tried to warn Eugenia to steer clear of him. But she’s not listening. She’s in love with him. None of them said much about the great Spring Chicken scam, but I got the feeling some of them were involved. I just have to find out who.” Auntie KiKi bit again into the sandwich like the shark from Jaws. “So now tell me about this gossip.”
With all this going on at the Pines and KiKi right in the middle of it, there was no way I could get her out unless I called in the Marines. Since capturing stubborn aunties wasn’t exactly in their job description, KiKi would stay at the Pines, at least for the moment. I took out my broiled, bunless, sauceless cod with a sprig of wilted rosemary. The Styrofoam container it came in probably had more flavor. “I detoured from getting your sandwich and went into Cassandra’s Jewelry to get my ring sized.”
“And maybe show off a bit.”
“There is that. Her dad who does the jewelry work is on vacation, but Cassandra just happened to mention that someone we know and loathe bought not two gold bracelets with crystal charms but three. Our very own local Romeo has three women on the string: Eugenia, Arnett, and some mystery lady. How does he find the time?”
“Honey, the real question is, how does he find the stamina?” KiKi licked sauce from her fingers as the double French doors leading out onto the patio suddenly burst open and Emmitt backed our way.
“I’ve had it with you, Emmitt Gilroy, you old fart,” Foley bellowed, shaking his cane, his Cubs cap tilting as he chased Emmitt across the pavers. “I’m the one who’s giving the first eulogy at Bonnie Sue’s wake on Friday, and you can just go straight to Hades for all I care.”
“Bonnie Sue was my girl,” Emmitt yelled back, shaking his walker at Foley. “And I’m giving the first eulogy ’cause you’ll be too busy trying to get that there cane off your hand, ’cause it’s there forever.” Emmitt stopped and rocked back on his heels, a smug grin tripping across his face as Foley held up the cane. He shook it once, twice, three times.
“It … it won’t come off!” Foley’s face reddened, his eyes bulging, the vein in his forehead ready to rupture. “I can’t let go of the dang thing! What did you do to me, you lily-livered varmint?”
“The wonders of superglue, and it’s exactly what you had coming for putting that whoopee cushion on my chair in the dining room last night. Everybody was laughing at me thinking I did something unseemly. Well, I got the last laugh this time, you old coot. That there cane’s attached to you like a third arm.” Emmitt laughed. Foley growled deep in his throat, swinging the cane as Mr. Jim hurried through the door.
“Hold on, you two.” Mr. Jim jumped between the men.
Foley shook the cane at Emmitt. “I’m the one who’s holding on, if I want to or not, and this is the last straw. We’re having it out once and for all. I’m challenging you to a duel. I demand satisfaction.”
“Something you never gave Bonnie Sue.”
“I’m going to blow your head clean off your shoulders!”
“Not if I blow yours off first!”
“No one’s blowing anything.” Mr. Jim grabbed the cane and the walker. “The three of us are having some brandy and talking things over like civilized people.”
“Hang civilized,” Foley bellowed, waving his Cubs hat in the air. “This is war, Gilroy.” Emmitt thumped his way back inside, yelling, “And I’m gonna win. You better be sleeping with both eyes open if you know what’s good for you.”
Mr. Jim sat Foley in a chair. “You stay here and calm down now. I’ll get something for the glue and a nice glass of apricot brandy. You know how you love that apricot brandy I order special.”
Mr. Jim patted Foley’s shoulder and left. Foley gave one more shake of his cane, frowned that it didn’t release, then pulled in a deep breath. “I’m mighty sorry you lovely ladies had to witness that scuffle, but Emmitt and I have been battling over my lovely Bonnie Sue since she got here almost a year ago now.” Foley’s voice hitched. “I can’t believe the light of my life, the song in my soul, the gravy on my mashed potatoes is gone, never to return.”
He swiped his eyes and Auntie KiKi handed him one of her napkins with a sauce smear. “Bonnie Sue was a lucky woman to have you care so deeply about her. I hear she was right friendly with Willie Fishbine too.”
“Bonnie Sue and Willie?” Foley shook his head. “I keep my eyes open, and I know what goes on around here. My corner room is great for seeing what everyone is up to. I see who’s coming and going, like when January Foot smuggled in a stray cat she found. My little pumpkin didn’t even like Willie at all—told me so herself on more than one occasion. Bonnie Sue was mine, truly mine, forever mine and no one else’s, no matter what Emmitt Gilroy has to say. Just because he has the big room at the end of the hall, he thinks he’s some big shot around here.”
Foley stood, blew his nose into the napkin, and stuffed it into his pants’ pocket. “You ladies have a nice afternoon, now. I’m going to go see about getting this cane off. If you hear gunshots, don’t you be alarmed none. Sooner or later Emmitt and I are going to put this to rest once and for all and it ain’t gonna be pretty, I can promise you that.”
Foley hobbled back inside. KiKi waited till the door closed, then said to me, “Foley might think he knows everything that goes on around the Pines, but he doesn’t know about this here.” KiKi reached into her pocket and held up a blue paper with gold edges and an embossed chicken.
“He doesn’t know that next time you want me to bring Kentucky Fried Chicken extra crispy? I don’t think the old boy cares.”
KiKi shoved the paper in my face. “Take a closer look. This is a stock certificate for fifty shares of Spring Chicken, and you’ll never guess where I found it.”
Chapter Thirteen
“It was stuffed in the back of the closet in Bonnie Sue’s room,” Auntie KiKi said around a mouthful of fried fish. “Wedged tight between two shelves. I found it when looking for a place to hide the pralines Walker brought for me. I had to hide them, ’cause if your mamma finds them she’ll take them, saying my health is going right to the dogs. Easy for her to say; I’ll be the one back to Putter and the land of healthy living in no time. I need to enjoy the moment while I can.”
I snagged the Spring Chicken stock certificate out of KiKi’s hand. “Bonnie Sue bought into the Spring Chicken scam like the sisters did? I can’t believe it. Old Willie must have had a big heart after all. Who knew? He actually felt bad that Bonnie Sue lost money, and he was helping her out financially and that’s why he gave her a check each week.”
KiKi dabbed sauce from her lips. “Honey, if something sounds too good to be true, then it is, especially in the case of double-dealing Willie Fishbine. Besides, where would Bonnie Sue get the money to invest in the first place? She was skint, and everyone knew it.”
“Okay, so she could have borrowed money from one of her male friends to buy in, figuring it was a good deal and she’d make money on her investment?”
“The sisters said Willie only let investors in who could afford it. My guess is that rotten excuse for a human being wanted his money fast so that when the vitamin scam blew up, he had his cash safely tucked away where no one could get their hands on it. This Willie–Bonnie Sue connection just doesn’t add up. Maybe I’ll find something out at the spa this afternoon. It’s amazing what people talk about when they’re wearing fluffy robes, sipping lemon water, and sitting around with seaweed smeared on their faces.”
KiKi grabbed her cane and wobbled to her feel. “You best be off; my appointment’s in twenty minutes and I got to get myself presentable.” She fluffed her hair and batted her eyes. “Anthony’s picking me up and I don’t want to be late for that, now, do I?”
“Anthony?”
“Did you know that Uber stands for you’ll be eternally thankful?”
“
Uh, U is y-o-u and thankful does not begin with R.”
“Don’t be picky, dear; it’s mighty unbecoming.”
Auntie KiKi headed inside and I started for my scooter. I cut across the patio and around the cherub fountain spitting water at the sun, cut through the break in the azalea hedge, and stopped. There on the sidewalk by the street and next to the Pines was none other than old Dex with Hollis right beside him, both taking a stroll. Two of the sleaziest guys in Savannah in the same place at the same time was not a coincidence. I ducked down and crept closer, then darted behind a white concrete bench to—
“Playing hide and seek?” came Boone’s voice at my side.
I slapped my hand to my heart so it wouldn’t jump out of my chest and yanked Boone down beside me. “What are you doing here?” I whispered.
He held up a white cord. “Phone charger for KiKi. I forgot to give it to her when I dropped off the phone, and why are you hiding in the bushes?” Boone wagged his brows. “If you can’t think of a reason, I can. You look awfully cute today.” He tucked a curl behind my ear. “Fact is, you look awfully cute every day. I think we need to celebrate that fact.”
I felt a blush creep into my cheeks and pointed to Dex and Hollis. “Those two are up to something.”