by Kasie West
“Did you know those two words make up the most-told lie in the English language?”
With those words I choked on a sob.
“Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry.” She awkwardly patted my arm.
“I’m fine,” I said again.
She laughed a little. “Please don’t add to the misuse of that phrase.”
My phone chimed again. I thought you were in the bathroom. And I started to think you were dying in there, so I sent someone in to look for you. She said the bathroom was empty. Spencer said you were upset when you left. Where are you, Gia?
The woman sitting next to me still looked concerned.
“Just boy problems,” I finally said, hoping she’d leave me alone. But that started her on a monologue about the problems with teenage boys today.
If you don’t answer, I’m going to call the police. I’m worried.
I quickly typed. Since you told your friend I was a hooker, I thought maybe you had the wrong idea about us. I didn’t realize that was the role I was supposed to play tonight. I found a ride home.
The phone almost immediately started ringing again. I didn’t want to talk about this on the phone with a woman sitting next to me who apparently thought boys should be issued shock collars when they turned thirteen. And besides, for all I knew Hayden was calling to tell me that I was reacting like a girlfriend and not a first date. I was reacting like a girlfriend. I was not his girlfriend.
“I can see I’m not helping,” the woman finally said.
“Thank you for trying, really.” The bus stopped and I stood and walked down the aisle. I smelled the ocean the second I stepped out. The breeze and the sound of waves crashing only served as a secondary confirmation of where I was.
It was only eight o’clock so I had four hours to pout on the beach before I had to figure out how I was really getting home.
I’d only been there an hour when my phone vibrated with a text.
Did you know your parents have a GPS tracker in your phone?
CHAPTER 33
I turned around and saw a figure walking down the beach toward me. It was too dark to make out his features from this far away, but considering the text I’d just gotten, I was sure it was Hayden. I steeled my emotions. There was no way he could know how much I was hurting.
“Do you think I’m creepy now?” he asked when he reached me.
“Maybe more than when you waited in the parking lot to make sure I was okay.”
“Understandably. This actually required effort and ingenuity. And convincing your parents that you weren’t lost while simultaneously asking them to tell me where you were.” He sat down next to me and studied my face. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for there but it took everything in me to make sure he didn’t find it.
“I want to hear your side,” Hayden said. “I want to understand what happened.”
“My side? What about your side?”
“My side is pretty simple. I went to use the bathroom. My ex-girlfriend pulled me into a conversation with an old friend. Then when I came back with a surprise chocolate chip cookie for you, you were gone.”
“That’s a pretty good side, but the side I was referring to was how exactly you explained us to Spencer.”
He looked up like he was thinking. “Oh. After Eve’s graduation party I told him how I’d met you and how you returned the favor.”
“Well, he got the wrong impression.”
“What do you mean? Does this have to do with the confusing hooker text you sent me?”
“I’m sure Spencer told you what happened.”
“Spencer told me that you saw me talking to Eve, got really mad, said a few choice words, then left.”
My jaw dropped. “That’s what he said?”
“That is what he said.” He took a deep breath. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Yes.”
“Had you met Spencer before Eve’s party?”
Oh no, this was not the right time for this to come out.
He closed his eyes for a moment as if he was disappointed by whatever shock I could feel written on my face.
“No. I mean, just once. Barely. I didn’t even think he remembered me. Listen, I didn’t even see you talking to Eve tonight until he pointed it out. And he only pointed it out after asking me if I’d go to some baseball banquet with him so he didn’t have to go alone. He said that you told him about our arrangement and he was wondering how much I charged.”
“He said that?”
“Yes, then he told me that he didn’t need any after-date action unless I was interested.”
“I did not ever tell him I paid you.”
“Well, then he formed that opinion all on his own.”
“That’s not what he told me happened tonight.”
“Of course he didn’t. I’m sure he didn’t want you to be mad at him.”
“He said the same thing about you when I asked him about your text. He said you were making up a story so that I wouldn’t be mad at you for acting jealous. He said you’re still mad at him for not asking Laney out for a second date two years ago.”
“Oh, please. I’m glad he didn’t ask Laney out again. He’s a jerk.”
Hayden still looked skeptical. He didn’t believe me. I could feel tears welling up and I bit the inside of my cheek. “Why would I make up a story?”
“Why would he?”
“Because he saw what happened to your friendship with Ryan when he betrayed you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you trying to say this situation is the same as what happened with Eve, Ryan, and me?”
“No, not at all.” I wiped at an errant tear, angry I had let it escape. “I’m just trying to figure out why he would lie.”
“Me too. And I want to believe you, Gia. I really do.”
“Wanting to believe me and believing me are two entirely different things.”
“It’s just, his story matches up more than yours. If he did what you’re saying he did, why would you run out? Why wouldn’t you come talk to me? Come tell me?”
“Because after he said what he did, I told him I was there with you and he said that it looked like you were there with Eve. That’s when I looked back and saw you with her. And yes, I did get jealous. But then your friend told me he wanted to fool around with me so I slapped him and left.”
“I want to believe you.”
“You already said that.”
“Because it’s true.”
“Then believe me.”
He sighed. “It’s just he’s my best friend and you seem to have a history of . . .” He didn’t finish and it took me several long moments to realize how he planned on finishing.
My face went numb with disbelief. “Lying?”
He nodded.
I couldn’t stop the tears now and I hated them. I hated him for having this much power over my emotions. And I hated that he got to see that after what he was saying to me. I stood and pulled out my phone as I did, turning my back to him.
“Where are you going?” Hayden asked.
“Home.” I dialed the number and listened to it ring. Finally my dad picked up. “Hey, Dad. Can you come get me?” My throat burned with emotion as I successfully stopped the tears from flowing.
“Of course.”
Hayden said from behind me, “I’ll give you a ride home.”
To my dad I said, “I’m at the Beachfront downtown.”
“I’ll be right there.”
“Thank you.” I hung up and slid the phone into my pocket.
Hayden was beside me and reached out his hand. I took a step away. This hurt worse than any breakup I’d ever experienced before and we were never even together. We hadn’t even kissed. This is what it felt like to let someone in, I realized, and to really get to know them, to really let them know you. This is how it felt to genuinely like someone and to have him turn his back on you. I never wanted anyone to have this much power over my emotions again. It was safer to keep to myself, to keep th
ings on the surface. Things ended better that way.
We stared at the ocean in silence for a long time. He probably just wished he could leave, but the gentleman in him would wait here until my dad showed up.
“For the record, I may be a lot of things—selfish, shallow, snobby—but prom night with you was the first time I’d ever lied to my friends. And when I wanted to tell them the truth that night, you kept it going. Not that I’ve been anxious to tell them since. And as for Spencer, he was such a huge jerk to Laney, but I hardly knew him. You liked him so I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt instead of tattling on him to you. My point is that I’m not a liar.” I gave a humorless laugh. “I guess I can’t even say that anymore after prom night, can I? I’ll just add it to the list. I’m a selfish, shallow, snobby liar with a strong need for validation.” Who had gotten extremely good at feeling sorry for herself lately.
“Gia, stop. You’re not any of those things. I’m just confused because one of my best friends is telling me one thing and you’re telling me the complete opposite. Can you understand why I might be a little conflicted?”
I finally managed to successfully control my emotions, to channel a calm, confident voice. “Yes, I can understand. And I’m sure you can understand why I can’t be friends . . . or whatever this was . . . with someone who doesn’t trust me. And what he . . . Spencer . . . did to me? That’s not okay.”
I heard my dad’s car before I saw it. He needed it serviced or something. “Please don’t call me.”
Hayden ran a hand through his hair, his face pinched in concern, and nodded. I climbed into the passenger seat. My dad hesitated, looking at Hayden.
“Go, Dad. Please.”
And he did. As soon as we rounded the corner, my shoulders fell and the tears I’d been holding back burst out of me.
“Honey?”
“I hate boys.”
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” His voice was surprisingly angry.
“No, well, he just hurt my heart.”
“Oh, honey.” My dad reached over and, while still driving, managed to direct my head to his shoulder. “I’m so sorry. Just let it out.”
And I did. Apparently my dad was easier to open up to than I’d ever realized. That thought only made me cry harder.
CHAPTER 34
“In case you were wondering,” Bec said, sitting down in front of me Monday morning, “I totally believe you and I told Hayden as much.”
“Thanks.” Not that it mattered. I never wanted to speak to Hayden again.
“Because Spencer is a slimeball. I don’t know how Hayden’s friends turned out to be such jerks. I think it’s because they all got to know each other as kids when they were only half jerks. I’m convinced if he had met either Spencer or Ryan in the last couple of years, he would’ve seen right through them.”
I didn’t trust my voice so I just nodded.
“Even if Spencer’s story was true, I would’ve fully supported you marching out of there in a jealous rage too. And I told Hayden that the only thing I would’ve done different if he were my date and was there talking to his ex was punched him before I walked out. Why does my idiot brother keep talking to that idiot girl? Especially when he’s on a date.”
“We weren’t on a date.”
“He told me it was a date. Did he tell you it wasn’t?”
“No.”
“He likes you, Gia. He’s just being an idiot.”
“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t trust me and I definitely don’t trust him anymore. Considering that’s the basis of all good relationships, I think we’re out of luck.”
Bec put her hand over mine. “My brother is extremely loyal. Sometimes to a fault. His loyalty can outweigh his reasoning. His brain was telling him one thing and his heart was telling him another. One time when I was little, he watched me shove a boy to the ground and steal his Popsicle. I told Hayden it was mine, that the boy had taken it from me first, and Hayden believed me. He told this crying kid to leave me alone. Loyalty.”
“I get your point, but the problem is that in that story I’m the crying kid who got his Popsicle stolen. I’m not the one he’s loyal to.”
She let out an angry sigh. “I know, but my point is that he has it wrong. He should’ve given the kid back his Popsicle and told me I was a bully.”
I laughed. “Well, that means a lot to me.”
“Will you talk to him?”
“He doesn’t want to talk, Bec. He wants Eve back. I’m sorry I failed in your mission, but they can have each other.”
“My mission?”
“The whole reason you want me to talk to him again. You hate Eve.”
“I can’t deny that point. But no, I like you, Gia.” She grabbed my forearm and met my eyes with her black-lined ones. “No matter how much I tried to convince myself not to, I actually like you.”
Those words made me want to both laugh and cry at the same time. “I like you too but I don’t have to make up with your brother for that to continue.”
“I think you and my brother are good together. You make him more confident and he makes you more relaxed. When you find someone like that, you don’t let them go so easily.”
I gave a small laugh. “Well, thanks, Dr. Phil, but it’s over and I don’t do repeats.”
I didn’t feel like going out to lunch with my friends. I didn’t feel like doing anything but sitting in my fourth-period class and not moving ever again. Somehow I stood up, though, shouldered my backpack, and found Claire.
“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately. That morning on the car ride over I’d done a pretty good job of hiding my sadness. But somehow talking to Bec made everything worse. Her believing me made it even more sad that Hayden hadn’t. Made me realize even more that he should’ve.
“Bad day.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Is it Drew? Are you guys still fighting?”
“Yes—wait, how did you know Drew and I were fighting?” I hadn’t told anyone else because that would require them having to watch the most embarrassing video ever.
“Jules said she saw some video online or something.”
“She did? How?”
“I don’t know. Maybe your brother linked it on his Facebook page. Anyway, she said you were mad at Drew. I thought you told her that. I was surprised you hadn’t told me.”
“No, I didn’t tell her.” I couldn’t process what that meant. That she was still sneaking around looking for answers? That, like Claire, she thought my brother was cute and had friended him on Facebook?
“So is that why you’re upset?” Claire asked.
“No.” Maybe talking to Claire would help. “Remember that guy I went on a blind date with?”
“Yes.”
“We kind of broke up.”
“I didn’t know you were together.”
“We weren’t but I wanted to be.”
“I’m sorry, Gia. First Bradley and now Hayden. That’s not cool.”
“No, it isn’t.” We were in the parking lot now and I could see Jules and Laney waiting by the car. “Can we just keep this between you and me for now?” I asked, not wanting to deal with prying questions from Jules today. Especially since it seemed like she was doing just that—prying.
“Why? We’re all your friends, Gia. We want to help you through it. You need to stop keeping things from us.”
“I just can’t handle Jules right now. Please.”
“For the life of me I don’t understand why the two of you don’t get along.”
“Really? You don’t see how she is with me? She is constantly trying to pick apart my stories for some hidden agenda.”
“Yes, I can see how she does that sometimes, but she’s said the same about you before.”
“Well, she started it.” It sounded juvenile before it was out of my mouth. I didn’t need Claire’s eye roll to confirm it.
“Just try. She’s been through a lot.�
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“I did try and she didn’t care.”
“Try more than once. She’s moving in with me for the rest of year because her mom is running from some guy again.”
I swallowed hard. “She’s moving in with you?”
“Yes, and I need my two best friends to get along.”
The one time I’d tried to do something nice for Jules by inviting her to my house for our pre-date ritual she ended up lying about it. I stopped, realizing what I’d just said in my head. The one time. There was the ice cream store attempt too, but that wasn’t me really going out of my way. Claire was right. I really hadn’t tried very hard. I rarely made the effort to reach out to her. If Claire liked her, then there must’ve been something I was missing. Something I wasn’t trying very hard to see. I hooked my arm in Claire’s, laid my head on her shoulder, and said, “Okay, I’ll try.”
“Gia gets to pick the restaurant today,” Claire said as she was unlocking the doors. “Her almost boyfriend broke up with her.”
Jules craned her head toward me. “Which boyfriend?”
“Hayden.”
“Is it because he saw you hanging out with Bradley?”
I took a breath to find some patience before I responded. From Jules’s side that was true. The last time she’d seen me, I was hanging out with “Bradley.” “No, that’s not why. His friend was being a slime bag and he didn’t believe me.”
“That sucks,” Laney said.
“Yes, it really does.” I got in the front seat and clicked the seat belt in place.
Jules placed a hand on my shoulder from the backseat. “I’m sorry about Hayden.”
I smiled. She sounded so sincere. Maybe when I’d chased her down outside the coffee shop, she realized I really was interested. Maybe it had been me all along who was holding our friendship back. I could try harder. I would. We’d be fine.
Claire started the car. “Where to?”
“In-N-Out.”
It took me a second to recognize him out of context like this, walking into the restaurant as I sat there with Claire, Laney, and Jules. I was facing the door and my first thought was, That guy looks familiar. Then I nearly spilled my chocolate milk shake as I got to my feet. “Drew?”