For the next ten minutes, they flew Hank. Casey was caught up in the child’s joy. From time to time, she would glance at Matt, who was crouched down by a mew taking photos. He was smiling. And what a change in his demeanor! Casey found herself gawking at Matt the way an awkward teenager would at her idol. Gone were the wrinkles in his broad brow. His laughter was deep and rolling. It filled the greenhouse and made her heart beat a little harder in her breast. She couldn’t believe the difference. It was as if she were seeing two different Matt Sinclaires.
All Casey had known was the dark, pensive, brooding firefighter. But now, he was lighthearted, laughing, smiling, his cheeks flushed. To Casey, he looked like a little boy out doing something he loved. Indeed, he looked years younger. It was then that she realized the invisible load Matt had carried since Senator Peyton’s family had died in that blaze. Did Matt accept Megan’s muteness as a curse for what had happened that night at Peyton’s home? It was a ridiculous thought, but Casey couldn’t otherwise explain the surprising difference in Matt’s demeanor.
Casey held her glove up with meat and Hank swiftly flew to it. Was Matt feeling this guilt and wearing the cloak of it? Casey held her arm steady as Hank turned, spotted the meat being put on Megan’s glove and took off in a flurry of swift beats of his wings. Casey frowned, not wanting to let go of what was bothering Matt. Was it guilt he carried over his wife’s demise? The case remained cold and unsolved. Or was he worrying constantly that the killer was at large and possibly still stalking him and Megan? Casey decided Matt had enough worries, concerns and grief to kill an elephant, much less a man. He was carrying a horrible load.
Feeling nothing but compassion for him, Casey began to realize Matt Sinclaire’s strong moral fiber. He was trying to do the right thing by his daughter. And in these precious moments, he seemed to step outside all the responsibility he carried and be in sync with his smiling child. Her heart opened wide and Casey felt intense emotions sweep through her. She gasped softly. What was she feeling?
Casting around like a fish out of water, Casey decided to call her mother tonight. Alyssa was wise in ways that always made Casey admire her. At fifty, she was worldly. Even more, her mother had raised her five daughters always to have lines of communication open. Casey was grateful her parents weren’t like those who made their children feel unable to talk with them. When she’d made blunders and mistakes, her parents had never chewed her out. Instead, they talked and asked her what she’d learned from the experience. Casey loved them fiercely. And, since the beating, they’d drawn even closer to one another. Yes, a phone call to her mom was in order.
Matt looked toward Casey, his camera poised as Hank flew to her outstretched glove. It was an excuse to photograph her. Little did Casey know he simply wanted a photo of her smiling. Just being around her lifted his dark, hobbled spirit. Did she realize how positively she affected him? Matt didn’t think so because he’d given her no indication. Right now, his focus was on Megan. And Casey was now a part of that focus. Matt felt good about that. Casey was stable and grounded. She had common sense and cared for others. She wasn’t one of those narcissistic victim types that seemed so pervasive nowadays. No, Casey was considerate, caring and insightful. Her questions to him earlier had startled Matt. Few people were as perceptive as she was.
Megan laughed. He turned, hearing new sounds coming from his daughter. Hank had flown to Katie’s glove and she’d allowed her joy to explode into a rich, high laughter. He felt a bolt of hope dance through him. Megan was really laughing. Not the rasping sounds she usually made.
Turning, he saw Casey walking up to him and removing her glove. “Did you hear that?” he asked, amazement in his tone.
“What?” Casey tilted her head and saw the shock in Matt’s face. “What happened?”
“Megan laughed. She really laughed. That’s new…”
Hearing his stunned words, Casey gripped his upper arm for a brief moment. “That’s wonderful! Barbara was right—bringing Megan out here to work with Hank is helping her!”
Wildly aware of Casey’s firm grip on his muscled upper arm, Matt felt the wild electricity flowing through him. Her touch galvanized his desires. Matt looked down at her and smiled, and she quickly released his arm. Casey’s cheeks went bright red. She liked him. In that moment, Matt saw it clearly for the first time.
“Come on, let’s go celebrate Megan’s first breakthrough in two years!”
CHAPTER SEVEN
ON THE WAY OUT OF THE raptor habitat, Megan gripping both their hands, Matt asked Casey, “Do you have time for a hot fudge sundae at Mo’s Café?”
How could Casey say no? The look of happiness on Matt’s face made her feel as if she were walking on air. Even better, Megan was laughing. She was gripping Casey’s hand as if to let go would mean never to see her again. Grinning, Casey said, “Sure. I love hot fudge sundaes.” Looking down at Megan, she asked, “What do you like, Megan?” Casey used every opportunity to put Megan into the situation where she was forced to speak.
Megan’s rasps and laughter were the response.
“Okay, off to Mo’s,” Matt said, smiling. He felt as if a part of the invisible load he’d carried for so long was dissolving from his shoulders. Literally, he could feel the weight leaving him. Was it because there’d been a breakthrough with Megan today? Since starting to laugh she had practiced it over and over again, as if tasting and testing the sounds that came from within her. And Casey, he knew, was no small part of this tiny step forward with his daughter. He felt the sunlight against his flesh and reveled in the moment. All the darkness that haunted him had momentarily evaporated because of this special time.
At Mo’s Café, which sat on the main square of Jackson Hole, a red-haired waitress came to take their order. Mo’s was always busy. The owner made her own ice cream and was known throughout the state for the thick, rich fudge that was slathered over any kind of ice cream that was ordered.
“Hey, Jody,” Matt greeted the waitress, “how are you?”
Jody, who wore a tan Stetson on her shoulder-length blond hair, smiled. “Hiya, Lieutenant Sinclaire. Hi, Megan. How are you?”
Megan glowed. She had chosen to sit next to Casey and opposite Matt in the roomy red leather booth. She lifted her hands and laughed.
“Wow,” Jody said, “she’s laughing! That’s wonderful!”
“It is,” Matt said, and gestured toward Casey. “Jody, Casey Cantrell is new to our town. She’s a ranger stationed out at the national park. Casey, Jody is a fixture here, she’s Mo’s daughter.”
Casey smiled up at the woman in a brown leather skirt, cowboy boots, and a vest over a bright red shirt. “Nice to meet you, Jody. I’ve heard so much about Mo’s, but just haven’t had the chance to get over here yet to check it out.”
“My mom makes the best ice cream and toppings in the state,” Jody crowed. “Isn’t that right, Megan?”
More laughter.
Casey joined in.
“Jody, the bill’s mine. Give the ladies what they want,” Matt said.
“Thank you,” Casey said, smiling over at Matt. She couldn’t get over how happy he looked. The darkness that usually marked his demeanor was gone! He had beautiful forest-green eyes and Casey had to stop herself from staring like a starstruck teen at him. How ruggedly handsome Matt truly was when the depression lifted.
Later, as they slurped through huge hot fudge sundaes topped with thick whipped cream and a red cherry, Matt felt he wanted to know more about Casey. She was an enigma to him. He sensed she was hiding something. That evasiveness and wariness was always there with Casey, he’d discovered. Further, he would see fear or maybe anxiety every now and again in her eyes. Why? Would she share with him? For the first time in two years, Matt found himself attracted to another woman. Guilt ate at him, however, and because Megan was enthralled with Casey, Matt told himself it was only curiosity on his part to get to know her better.
“Where do you originally come from?” he asked her.
“Ah, a real Westerner,” Matt teased, wanting to keep the conversation light.
Shrugging, Casey said, “Californians are different.”
“They are, but that’s nothing to hold against you.”
“Thank you.”
Matt smiled a little. “What do your parents do?”
“They met each other as pilots in the U.S. Navy. My mother was one of the first women allowed to fly a P3 sub-hunter aircraft. That’s a submarine hunter plane. That’s where she met my dad, Clay Cantrell.”
“Did the sparks fly?” Matt wondered. He saw the happiness sparkling in Casey’s eyes as she talked about her family and sensed that because it was a good family, not a dysfunctional one, this was a good way to get to understand who she was.
Chuckling, Casey dug into the vanilla ice cream with her spoon. “Oh, you could say that. My mom, Alyssa, has red hair and she’s got the personality to go with it. When my dad tried to get rid of her as a copilot, all heck broke loose. My mom didn’t stand for his neanderthal tactics and took him to task.” She grinned a little. “In the end, my mom proved herself just as good or better than any other P3 pilot.”
“And how many sisters? You said there are five of you?”
“Yes. Mom loved the Greek myths, and we were each named after a goddess.”
He liked that idea. “What is yours?”
“My real name is Castalia. She was a nymph goddess of fountains. I hated the name and I got everyone to call me Casey instead.”
Matt met her smile. “Castalia… I have to bone up on the Greek classics, I think. And a fountain goddess?”
“You have to know Greece in order to understand. It’s a very dry, desertlike place and water is very valuable. If a person wanted to find water, they prayed to Castalia to show them where they could find a fountain. Back then, she was a very important goddess.”
“Amazing,” Matt murmured. He savored their conversation. “Was Castalia an outdoor girl like you?”
Grinning, Casey said, “I haven’t thought of her in that way, but yes, she was. The nymphs were part of the fabric of nature.”
“Why do you think your parents named you after that specific goddess?”
She liked his insight and question. “I asked my mom about that and she said I was born under the sign Pisces, the two fish. It’s a water sign. She told me that Pisces people are very sensitive, emotional and easily touched by nature. And—” she licked her spoon again “—that nature is always healing and revitalizing to us. So, she chose the name Castalia for me.”
“But you hated the name.”
“Well,” Casey drawled, “try that name in the first and second grade. Kids made fun of me. They couldn’t pronounce it, so they slaughtered it. I came up with Casey and from then on, I stopped being teased.”
“The teasing bothered you?”
“Yes. My mom was right—I’m a Pisces. I often feel like a piece of raw meat thrown out into the big, bad world of life.”
“What would you rather be doing, then?” Matt stared deeply into her eyes.
“What I’m doing now. I went for a degree in wildlife biology in order to be close to nature. I’m always happiest when I’m out hiking in the woods and I’m one with everything around me.”
Nodding, Matt asked, “Your mom sounds like a Renaissance woman to me. She knows a lot about the ancient world and their beliefs.”
“Oh, she’s pretty futuristic, too,” Casey said, smiling. It was so easy to drown in Matt’s interested gaze. She told herself that he was interested in her because of his daughter, Megan. The child was happily eating her smaller sundae, paying no attention to their conversation. “My mother paved the way for other women pilots to fly in the U.S. Navy. She put in her twenty years and was always opening doors for other women to follow. I think it was that indomitable Trayhern spirit that made her such a leader of women’s rights in the military.”
“Your mom sounds courageous,” Matt said, meaning it.
“I have heroic roots,” Casey told him. “My uncle, Morgan Trayhern, is a real military hero. And nearly all of our family has served in the military for over two hundred years. I’m one of the few in the family who didn’t choose military service. Emma, my oldest sister, is over in Afghanistan right now. She’s a pilot and flies Apache combat helicopters. My older twin sisters, Athena and Juno, are graduating this year from the naval academy. Athena is a marine and Juno is in the navy. Athena wants to fly helos like Emma, and Juno is pushing to allow women into black-ops combat. Selene, who is my twin, is in the naval academy, too. She’s two years behind but wants to fly also.”
“That’s impressive,” Matt said. “A military dynasty of sorts?”
“You could say that,” Casey murmured. “My uncle Noah and his wife Kit have five girls, too. Women and twins run in the Trayhern family. Although Uncle Morgan has one son and four daughters. His wife, my aunt Laura, is wonderful. I’m lucky that we have such a close-knit family.” For more than one reason, Casey thought. They’d all rallied to her side when she was in a coma and no one was sure she’d come out of it. Casey didn’t dwell on that. It was her secret. Her shame. She wanted Matt to think highly of her and not know about her past.
“You’re fortunate,” Matt agreed. Jody came over and filled their emptied coffee cups once more.
“What about you?” Casey asked, going on the offensive. “Do you have family here?”
“I do. I was born here,” Matt said. He leaned across the table and took a swipe with his napkin at Megan’s mouth where some fudge had gathered. “I have a younger sister, Jessie, who is twenty-five years old. My dad, Lou, owns a small ranch below Jackson Hole. It’s a beef ranch of about three hundred acres. My mother, Val, died five years ago. Jessie, who is a registered nurse at the hospital here, babysits Megan when I have my shifts at the fire department.” Matt added, “I don’t know what I’d do without her help.”
“But your schedules must overlap sometimes. Then who takes care of Megan?”
“My parents do. I drive her out to the ranch when I have weekend duty.”
“I’ll bet your mom and dad enjoy having that time with Megan.”
“They do. Without my family, I’d be in dire straits. After the…well, after I lost Bev and the house we’d built, I just didn’t want to leave Megan with strangers. We have a great day-care center here, but I wanted to protect her. She was just too vulnerable and open after the fire. Jessie came to me and offered her help.”
“You have a great family, too,” Casey murmured. She saw Matt struggling to avoid words like murder in front of his daughter. Megan was coloring on the table mat.
“It works,” Matt said. “Of course, Jessie has put much of her life on hold to help us. I feel badly about that because she’s sacrificing so much for us…” His voice trailed off. “So much has been given up by so many people for our sakes.”
Seeing the pain linger in his eyes, Casey began to realize that Matt was not egotistical. He cared about others. He realized the sacrifices his family had made since Bev’s murder. And he took it personally. Maybe too much so? she wondered.
“That’s what family is for,” Casey parried. She tipped her long spoon into the bottom of her emptied sundae glass. And then, the words just leaped out of her mouth, unedited, not thought through— “When I was in a coma…” She abruptly stopped. Her heart raced. She looked tensely across the table at Matt. Instantly, he reacted.
“Coma? You were in a coma? When did this happen?”
Groaning inwardly, Casey sat back, closed her eyes and mentally called herself stupid, among other names. Opening her eyes, she saw sincere concern on Matt’s face. It wasn’t made up.
“I—er…I didn’t mean to bring it up,” she managed in an apologetic voice.
“I wondered about that scar on your left temple.”
Casey automatically touched it. The flesh was indented from
the blow that had sent her into the coma. “Yes…well…” She moved nervously. Right now, all she wanted to do was run away. “It was just a slip of the tongue.”
Matt gave her a tender smile he hoped would allay her sudden tension. He realized she had made a mistake. Yet, what she had said now sat like an uninvited guest between them. It was as if each of them had a dark, unhappy side that could appear without effort on their parts. “Sometimes slips of the tongue are things that need to be given some air time.”
Matt’s quietly spoken words broke through Casey’s terror. “I’m worried that if I tell you, it will get all over town. I can’t afford that to happen, Matt. I don’t want my past ruining my career.”
Holding up his hand, Matt murmured, “I promise you, Casey, I won’t breathe a word of anything you share with me.”
The sincerity in his eyes made Casey hesitate. “I haven’t told anyone. Not even my best friends…”
“I’d like to be your friend. You can trust me.” Matt realized he really wanted Casey to do just that. He saw the wariness in her expression, but yes, he wanted to be her friend because he was consumed with wanting to discover who she was. She was like a multifaceted gemstone, she had so many sides to her. He wanted to know all of her, not just a part.
“I believe you,” Casey uttered, all the life going out of her voice. She checked on Megan, who was now busy with the crayons that Jody had given her earlier. She was rapidly coloring a mountain lion sitting on a rock in the forest. Turning her attention to Matt, she told him the story. As she dove into it, she saw real fear in his eyes—for her. There was a powerful, unspoken connection between them that Casey couldn’t explain. Just as she finished the short version of her ordeal, Jody came over.
“Anything else, Matt?” she asked, putting the bill next to his hand.
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