“In order for the BANDs to properly detect the undesirable behaviors and unconscious brain patterns in the dependents, which is its intentional design and purpose; a signal is emitted from the Host Server. The broadcasted signal is transmitted to the very limits of the Sphere, but any device brought outside of the Sphere’s parameters would cause said device to no longer be active according to the IRIS program, unless brought back into the area of effect and signal range. Be advised that sufficient integral damage to the Host Server may result in catastrophic failure, causing a total system shutdown.”
My mouth drops open as Maxis stares at me dumbfounded. “Krys, you could deactivate every BAND in Pura!”
All conscious thought ceases, leaving me unable to express the combination of joy and horror saturating my nerves.
Maxis puts his hand on my shoulder. “Krys?”
“We’re leaving now. Take anything you can use as a weapon and let’s go.”
He and Alvah nod. She pulls out the small pistol Briggs gave me. “Here, you should probably use it.”
I snatch it out of her hand, remove the clip, and count how many bullets are left.
“Seven, better not miss, even with one hand,” she jokes.
“Hope you don’t have to use it,” I reply, giving it back. “I’m gonna want this back once we’re done.”
“Mmmhmm.”
Pulling up the metallic cover, I regain our bearings; the oval coliseum being just six blocks away. “We’re about fifteen minutes from the safe house. But we’re going to be extra cautious, so we’re looking at around an hour.”
“Got it,” they recite in unison.
“Let’s go.”
We wait awhile, making sure the streets are clear, then head out. Crouching down, we move from cover to cover making as little noise as possible. After a painfully long journey, we reach the alleyway at the back of the safe house.
“Is this it?” Alvah asks wearily.
“Yes, there’s some food and water stored away. You guys will need it for your journey.”
With great difficulty, I commence scaling the wall. Even with both hands, this would have been challenging! I have to place my feet with extreme precision, clutching the red brick tightly with my right hand.
Maxis makes it halfway up the wall and falls down. I roll my eyes and chuckle.
“How have you managed to stay alive this long?” Alvah teases, shaking her head.
He jumps back up, dusts himself off and says, “I had people like Krys to thank for that.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to step it up,” she backs up, then runs at the wall full speed. With three quick steps, she launches up and slams her hand onto the second story ledge.
I look down at Maxis mouthing out, Who is she?
He laughs and shrugs.
“What?” she asks, reaching her hand out to me from inside the room next to the loft.
“Nothing just, uh… that was impressive.”
She smiles, “Like I said, you have to step it up. I’m not just a pretty face.”
It takes Maxis two more tries before he makes it to the top. I lead them to the door to the loft where Eli is.
I stop in front of it, hand outstretched. What if I never open this door? That way I don’t have to see Eli die, or be dead already. I could just walk away from the shame of my failure.
“Krys?” Alvah breaks my train of thought.
“The door?”
“Right.” I exhale and turn the knob. The creaking sends shivers up my spine with dread. Eli lays in the corner where I left him. I can’t tell from this distance if he’s breathing. I’d give anything not to know. But I can’t turn away now.
The floorboards moan as I trudge forward with foreboding. His face twitches, then he squints at us; croaking weakly. “Krys?”
I run to the fridge and grab one of the two remaining water cartons. The clear liquid bounces off his peeling lips. With ravenous thirst, the bottle is pulled from my grip; Eli gulps the whole thing til it’s dry. Breathing heavily, he hands it back to me.
“Where were you?”
The corners of my mouth drop as I’m overcome by failure. “I went to get you medicine.”
A sympathetic sigh ejects slowly from his chest. “Judging by the look on your face, I’m guessing it didn’t go to well.”
It’s good to hear his whimsy again, though it doesn’t stop the hurt. “I’m sorry, Eli, I tried… I really did.”
I feel his hand grasp mine, his face sullen with shock. “Your arm!” He straightens up in alarm. “Son, what happened? What did you do?”
“I snuck into the Blooders’ compound. They stole my medication that would have cleared your infection.”
His mouth opens, expelling little bursts of breath; unable to speak without a melancholy quiver. “You weren’t supposed to do that, Krys. This wasn’t supposed to be you.”
I cry. Powerless to hold back the tears. “I failed you, Eli. And I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.”
He palpates the stub where my hand was, carefully brushing it with the utmost reverence.
“Why would you do that for me?” I smile at him through glinted tears. “Because you saved me. You taught me that I didn’t have to live like a slave anymore. You were the one who showed me what it’s like to really thrive, not just live. To appreciate what I have and to give what I can to others like you did for me.”
His gaze becomes clear, no longer impaired by delirium, staring right at me and we share a moment of pure clarity; understanding each other. He stammers for a moment before finding the words.
“The first night I spent without Andy, I found a note she left me weeks before.”
I nod.
“It’s the same note that I left in your journal. She once told me, that she knew one day, it would all fall apart. But until then, we would live like it was just the two of us.”
I pat his hand, wetting it with tears.
“For days I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, all I could do was wait. Wait to die. Until one day, I found myself reading in a tattered old book, hundreds of years old. Something struck me inside that I’ve never felt since, like a fire burning in my heart. It said ‘continuous life is determined by its environment. Will you choose to stay in the desert and wilt? Or will you find your oasis and bloom?’ All these years, I’ve been holding on; waiting to die and doing what good I could in-between.”
He uses a sharp breath to suppress a sob. “I never got to know my child. I never got to hold it in my arms or kiss its cheeks.”
Now we’re both sobbing as I listen closely; knowing these would be his last words. “Krys, I didn’t want you to do this. Because you already gave me a second chance, a chance to feel like a Father. To teach you and help you. To let you know it doesn’t have to be all bad. This world is a monstrous place, but you don’t have to become a monster.”
A bitter tear trickles down my nose. “How can I hold on without you?” I whisper.
At long last, he chuckles with a beaming smile. “You beat your demons, Krys, I only showed you how to fight them.”
A loud bang comes from the first floor. I turn to Maxis and Alvah.
“What was that?” she exchanges a look with Maxis, worried.
“That came from the front! Someone must have spotted us,” Maxis reaffirms.
“Don’t panic,” I say calmly. He holds out his hand for the gun. “I’ll go downstairs and buy you some time.”
Stunned, I shake my head.
“We’re not going until you say goodbye,” Alvah says firmly, holding his hand. With reluctance, I plop the pistol down as they head for the stairs.
In the meantime, I pack all the remaining food and water into my bag. Scarring threats rage as loud shouts of a crowd roar from below.
“You’re all gonna die! You can’t steal from us. We’ll burn the skin off your bones.” Amid the commotion, two shots fire out, followed by screaming.
I kneel down next to Eli again.
> “Even though I never got to know my child, I like to think that I knew him through you.” He grabs my hand and squeezes tightly. I squeeze back just as hard.
“We can’t hold them!” shouts Alvah, running up the stairs. Eli and I look at each other as he smiles the biggest smile I’ve ever seen him do.
“I love you, Krys.”
Whatever remains of my mangled heart melts as I put my arms around him. “I love you too, Eli.” It’s just me and him, at least for this one moment before I whisper in his ear. “Goodbye.”
“It’s okay, Krys. I want this. I want Andy.”
Alvah and Maxis bust through and slam the door shut. “They’re coming up!”
“Krys, are you ready?” Eli pushes against the wall and stands up.
“What are you doing?”
“Krys, we have to go!” Alvah yells.
“She’s right. They’re going to be here any second!” Maxis agrees.
Torn, I let Eli stumble towards the entrance, pounding fists vibrating against the cracking door.
“I’ll buy you as much time as possible.”
I rush forward, adamant to keep him from killing himself. “Not like this.” I plead with longing eyes.
“Just like this… ” With surprising strength, he grabs my shirt and pushes me towards the window ledge. “Go!”
“Eli…”
“Krys, go!”
I throw the pack over my shoulder. “Out the window!”
Alvah lithely hops down, tumbling as she lands. Maxis hangs onto the ledge and then drops clumsily. I turn to get one last look at Eli, pushing against the door; letting out a fierce battle cry.
“Krys!” they shout from outside. My body reacts and I jump out the window, not realizing how far down it is.
At the last moment I tuck my legs and roll to avoid damage.
“You okay?” he asks.
I nod, my ability to speak incapacitated.
Gunshots ring out as we sprint through the alley, then nothing. Sound cuts out as I run. Automatically jumping over obstacles, racing around corners, I even take out a few unsuspecting Blooders at the same time. I’m not fully aware of my actions.
I don’t feel tired. I don’t feel sore. My vision blazes back and forth from the decrepit city to the burning desert. Running away from death. Running away from pain. And now here I am again, running. I swore I wouldn’t let anyone else close to me, so I wouldn’t have to go through this again.
This time, it’s worse. It hurts more than I ever thought it could.
“Krys!” echoes from far away, then rushes at me; pulling me to the present.
Alvah and Maxis are hunched over with their hands on their knees. “We need to take a break. We’ve been running for almost a half hour.”
Focus returns to me as I look around us. “We’re only a few minutes away from the bridge.”
“Let’s walk. No one’s behind us,” Maxis pants through heavy breaths.
I survey the buildings next to us, then agree.
“So, the Sphere faces west. From there we travel north until we reach Roosevelt.” Alvah mentions.
I only catch a few phrases here and there as I wander between reality and my consciousness.
He’s gone. What was it all for? In the end I couldn’t save Eli. What am I supposed to do now? I fade back into the conversation.
“You know that they make best stew, you just don’t want to admit it,” Alvah says playfully to Maxis.
Noticing my sudden alertness, she asks “How are you?”
I look down at the knife in my hand which is covered in blood.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbles with an uncomfortable tone.
“It’s fine.” I say, trying to be strong but not having the strength to do so.
“Krys, why don’t you come with us?”
I jerk up.
“To Roosevelt?” Maxis questions.
“Yeah! Why not? It’s smaller than a city. Less chance of getting ambushed around every corner. We have about two hundred or so settlers and I’m sure you could get work doing just about anything. We really need an extra hand—” the choice of words dawn on her, “—oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean. . .”
“It’s okay. I know what you meant.” I never thought about it before. I didn’t have a plan after I got out of the Sphere. I was just trying to survive. Maybe I could start over? In a new town. A new setting. I can try to forget and leave Pura behind.
“What do you think?” she prods hopefully.
“Um… I guess so,” I reply solemnly, not really paying attention.
“It’s not Pura, but they’re a great group of people,” says Maxis kindly.
“You can get a fresh start.” Alvah finishes their pitch; the Sphere towering above everything over the horizon.
“We’re almost to the bridge,” I mumble lowly.
“Just a few more days and we’ll finally be home,” Alvah yawns and stretches her arms.
“Home,” I repeat quietly.
She pats my shoulder. “That’s right, home.”
I can’t take my eyes off the Sphere. The closer we get the more I feel drawn to it. The clouds are still parted above in the distance, dancing around in a constant sway. Chasing after one another, colliding and separating just to chase again. It entrances me.
So much so, that I have to stop and watch. Then, something strange happens. The light amplifies, completely enveloping the whole Sphere; shining down on the glass.
A warmth grows in my heart, spreading to my chest then expands to the very confines of my entire body, burning fiercely. Alvah and Maxis stop a couple feet ahead of me.
“Krys, are you okay?”
I feel fixated that this is the correct course, the only course. I know what I have to do now.
Without breaking my gaze, I announce, “I’m not coming with you.”
“What? Why not?”
I sling off the pack and pull out most of the supplies. “You’ll need as much food as you can for the trip back.” I leave them everything except the remaining carton of water from the safe house and two cans of beans.
“Krys, please. You don’t have to do this,” Maxis pleads, his wit all but sequestered.
“Why are you doing this?” Alvah asks.
“I have my reasons.”
The corners of her mouth drop.
“You don’t owe them anything!” Maxis shouts. “You don’t have to try to fix Pura, or the dependents or IRIS.”
“What about what you said in the garage?”
“Screw what I said! Let them live without emotion or humanity, you’ll die if you go back. You don’t deserve to die!” he insists, his arms flailing.
“You two are well out of Blooder territory. You’ll be fine.”
He grabs my left arm, clutching only the BAND. “I put my life on the line for you at the Triad. I’m not going to let you throw it away now. You owe me that,” his tone turns snide.
I ignore it, knowing that it’s more out of fear than spite. “No, I don’t. I risked my life to save you, so we’re even.”
The logic of my reason softens his expression, revealing the sadness underneath. “Krys…” he whispers. “Thank you, for everything you’ve done.”
I slip the BAND out of his grip.
“Can you at least tell us why?” Alvah’s just as disappointed.
“Because every dependent deserves to feel like this.”
Alvah bobs her head up and down. “Okay. Well, if you ever come to Roosevelt, we’ll take care of you. Just mention my name.”
The sentiment is nice. I smile slightly. “Thank you.”
They take the rations and I watch them leave, making sure no Blooders are following.
Once out of sight, I beeline straight for the base of the Sphere. Double-checking my supplies, I do the calculations. If I jog all day and night, it should only take a little over a day at a brisk pace.
As I cross the rickety bridge that first took me to the nameless city, I see an exit sig
n that reads “New Independence.”
I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin as I get closer. Over the rolling landscape, I climb to the top of a tall hill and marvel once more in the presence of the towering metal walls. The dust and dirt have made the outside grimy as the opening remains unclosed.
I begin my exodus with a jog, slowing my pace for water every half hour, taking only a few sips. At dusk, I stop for a few minutes to snack on half a can of beans. I walk through the night which passes in the blink of an eye.
I’m so focused. I really have become a different person. The brittle desert floor yields to my every step, kicking up dust; especially when I step on a dried root or accidentally hit a loose rock with my black boots. With each step my confidence and conviction augments, fueling my ambition.
Thoughts pass while I march through the deserted waste. I think back on the person that I was; devoid of humanity. Crippled without Pura and the IRIS, a system of slavery.
There’s no other way to put it. I was a slave. Imprisoned within my own mind, restrained from my own thoughts and feelings. They knew. This whole time they knew what they were doing. My father tried to stop it. Why didn’t they tell us about the people outside the Sphere? Maybe we could have helped them.
I think about Eli pounding his fists against the cold steel doors, begging for sanctuary. I think of the woman Jaak abducted who was tortured for weeks. I think of Emeric and Ruth who are probably dead by now.
How many other people could they have helped? Why are they so unwilling to share resources? Selfish! What’s the point of living if we destroy all that makes us human? Eli showed me that I could rise up, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to leave it all behind. All the pain, all the sorrow, the heartache, the anger. I’m going to leave it behind. The moment I read those words about the Host Server and BAND deactivation, I knew I had to go back.
I have to return, to free the other dependents and dismantle the IRIS forever. Not because they deserve it, because they don’t. Eli risked death more than a handful of times so that I could live, and I won’t make his death meaningless. I will use his gift to do what he did for me. Free the hearts and minds of everyone in Pura and then watch them crumble.
As light returns, I narrowly miss the golden tint of the Sphere glass. I never realized how pretty it looks. Or perhaps I was never meant to. This only increases my adrenaline.
Iris Page 23