The Deeper We Get (The Harder I Fall #2)

by Jessica Gibson

  What will all be over? “Dad, you’re scaring her.”

  “Does it look like I care?”

  “What do you want from me, Dad? What can I give you to make this stop?” I was frantic, I need her to be away from him, needed her to be safe.

  “What do you think I want, Chad? I need money. I’m sick, and I need to get better, but I can't without money.” The hand holding the knife to Scarlet shook, causing the knife to bite into her skin more.

  Her bloodied skin tore at my heart. He had hurt her because of me and for that I would never forgive him. I would carry the image of her bruised and broken skin with me forever.

  “Stop this. I’ll give you anything you want, just let her go,” I pleaded. “How much will it take Tom?”

  He shifted uncomfortably and scratched at his arm. “I...I don't know. How much do you have?”

  “On me? Not a ton, maybe fifty.”

  “That’s not enough. Not nearly enough,” Tom yelled.

  “I want to help you, but you have to tell me how much is enough.” I was going crazy. I needed to get her away from him.

  “Five thousand,” he finally said.

  My heart sank into my stomach. I had more than enough to cover it, but I would have to go to the bank to get it. I couldn’t leave her with him. “Done. Let her go and we can go together and get it.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “Just how stupid do you think I am? I let her go and there won’t be any money.”

  “Not true. I’m a man of my word, and I’ll get you your money. I won’t do it if she’s still with you.” I hoped I sounded more confident than I felt.

  “No, no, you have to go now, by yourself.” He shook his head, looking more manic than he had been before. There was no way I could leave now.

  “What would stop me from calling the cops when I left?”

  He cocked his head to the side and smiled. “What would stop me from slitting her throat? I’ve killed once, it wouldn’t be hard to do it again. Just a little more pressure on the blade and her hot blood would spill all over us. So easy, so, so easy.”

  “Fine, I’ll go. Please just take the knife away and let me clean her up before I go.”

  He studied me, not sure of my actual intentions. “Okay.” He shoved her away from him.

  The instant she was clear of him, I launched myself at him. I couldn’t see the knife anymore, but I knew he still had it in his hand. My fist connected with his nose, the crunch of his bones spurred me on.

  “You little shit! You’re going to pay for that.” He raised the knife and swiped at me with it. I dodged out of the way.

  “Scarlet get out of here! Go call the police!” I shouted as I dodged another slice of the knife.

  I knocked the knife out of his hand, and we traded blows for a moment. He was a lot stronger than I thought he would be for how frail he looked. Somehow we ended up on the ground, with me on top of him punching with everything I had in me. I could feel him punching at my back and side, but I didn’t stop until I heard Scarlet screaming.

  “Chad stop, he’s not moving anymore. We’re safe now.” She put a hand on my shoulder.

  I rolled off of my father’s motionless and bloody body and looked up at her. “I’m so sorry.”

  “This isn't your fault.” She shook her head.

  I tried to stand up but suddenly everything started going black. I could hear her screaming my name and the sound of feet pounding down the hall before the world faded.

  “Chad, wake up.”

  “Mmm.”

  “Come on, get up. We need to leave.” Becca was shaking me, trying to get me out of bed.

  “It’s too early.”

  “Come on, we need to get you ready.” She pulled the covers off of me and tugged me out of bed.

  “Where are we going?” I rubbed my eyes.

  “We have to go say goodbye to Frannie today,” she said solemnly. “You want to look nice for her right?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay, let’s get you into your dress clothes then.” She patted my head and got out the clothes our neighbor had gotten me. I didn’t want to say goodbye, I didn’t want her to be gone. I tried not to cry as she buttoned my shirt.

  “Hey, it’s okay. You know we’re going to be okay right?” She held my chin in her hands, searching my eyes.

  “Yeah. I just miss her so much already.”

  “I miss her too. It’s you and me forever bud. I’ll always take care of you.”

  I was glad Daddy was gone. He always hurt me so bad. The belt was the worst, he never got tired with the belt.

  “You believe me that I’ll take care of you right?” Becca took my face in her hands and peered into my eyes.

  “I’ll always believe you Becca.”

  She hugged me tight, and we both cried for the sister who was taken from us

  Beep. Beep. Beep. I could hear voices around me, and the constant beeping of something. Why couldn’t I open my eyes?

  “How long has he been out of surgery?” Ruth’s anxious voice asked.

  “Not long, only about an hour,” Scarlet responded. I could feel the pressure of her hands on my own. Why couldn’t I move?

  “Are you okay? Can we call someone for you?” Becca’s voice came through next.

  “I’m okay, my uncle is around somewhere. I just can’t leave him right now.”

  “You’re not okay.” Becca was firm. “Have the doctors looked at you yet?”

  She sighed. “Yes, they took me back as soon as Chad was in surgery. I’m fine. A few stitches here and there, and they taped up my ribs. I’m not worried about me.” She stopped for a moment, and I felt her lips on my forehead. “He can't die,” she whispered.

  “Oh honey,” Becca choked out.

  “I was so cold to him Becca. You don’t understand. I walked away. I didn’t let him back in. I love him so much. He can’t die, he just can’t,” she sobbed.

  I love you baby. Don’t stop fighting for me.

  “Come on with me for a minute,” Becca urged softly.

  The room was silent for a moment, except for the constant beeping of the machines.

  “Oh God.” Ruth’s voice shook. “I’m so sorry he hurt you again. When we took you in, I promised myself I would never let anything happen to you again. I’m so sorry I failed you.” She clutched my hand tightly.

  No! Don’t blame yourself. This was my fault. I should have let you all help me. I should never have let him back in.

  “You have to be strong for us now. Keep fighting. We need you Chad.” Her voice cracked with emotion.

  “Do you have any questions for me?” Ruth sat on the couch across from me. I felt weird still, this was too much. One minute I’m in jail, the next I'm across the country in a crazy big house.

  “Why did you agree to this?” I honestly wanted to know, so I could wrap my head around what this would be and how long I would be here.

  “I’m not really sure I know the answer to that. Once we heard your story, we couldn’t not take you,” she responded.

  “How long will I be here?”

  “As long as you would like to be here.” She looked like she wanted to say more but stopped herself.

  “What?” I nodded for her to continue.

  “I don’t want to scare you.”

  “Say it please.”

  “You were mine the second I saw you Chad. I knew it when I was talking to Levi. You need me as much as I need you. This house is too big for just Samuel and me. My boys have always been my purpose. I’ve felt lost, without a sense of direction. I think that maybe we can help each other. What do you think?”

  “What do you want from me, for all of this there must be some price to pay.”

  “No price, we just want you to be happy.”

  “I forgot what happy is.”

  She shook her head sadly. “No one should forget what happy feels like. I promise to love you and to protect you always.”

  I wanted to believe her, with every p
art of me I wanted to believe her. Too many people had let me down in my life, I didn’t know how to trust anymore.

  “I know it’s going to take some time for you to trust us, to trust me. I’m not going anywhere, and I will never hurt you.”

  “When will he wake up? It’s been a week, he should be awake by now,” Scarlet demanded. I love you. I wish I could say it to you now.

  “Any time now. His body went through a lot. He was stabbed six times in the sides and back. There was extensive damage, it’s going to take him some time to heal,” the doctor responded.

  “Do you think he can hear us when we talk to him?” Yes, I can hear you, don’t stop talking.

  “I think yes, but we can't be certain.”

  “Thank you. I know you don’t have to answer my questions.”

  “His mother has given her permission. If you’ll excuse me, I have to make my rounds.”

  “I don’t know if you really can hear me or not, but I’m going to talk anyway.” She grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry I left you,” she said quietly. “If you would just wake up I could tell you how much I love you.”

  “Oh, Scarlet. I didn’t know you were here.” Ruth’s warm voice sounded loud and clear.

  “I came from work. Chad and I were just having a chat.”

  “Any news?”

  “No, the doctor said it could be any day. It’s all up to Chad’s body.” She sighed. Stay strong baby. I’m trying so hard to come back to you. I just don’t know the way.

  “Our boy is a fighter, he’s going to come back to us.”

  Scarlet sighed.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Ruth asked gently.

  “We didn’t have the best ending,” Scarlet started. “I was just so mad at him for all of the lies. Tom had been coming around more and more. I asked him about it but he shut me out. Then he would start disappearing for a few days. I couldn't take the lies.”

  “Honey, Chad isn't always easy to love. We’ve been through our share of it with him. It comes with how he was raised before he came to us.”

  “We both have our baggage. I just don’t want it to come between us anymore.”

  “I know how he feels about you. I think you both just need to talk about it.”

  “I didn't think this would be how we met for the first time.” Scarlet laughed sadly.

  “Me neither, but here we are anyway.” Ruth’s tone was light. “I’m so sorry this happened to you both. There are many things I would do differently if I could. I wish I had followed my instincts and stepped in as soon as Becca told me what was going on.” She sighed. “But he came here for a reason—to find who he really wanted to be, without us interfering in everything. I wanted to give him that. The chance to handle it on his own, to be the man I know he is and could be.”

  Mom. I love you for that. For letting me be who I am, for letting me try. I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me. I’m trying to come back to you.

  “He told me a lot about you. The way he spoke was almost reverent, like you were a saint. I was really nervous to meet you.”

  “He’s always been special to me. I love all my boys equally. The other three were children of my body and soul, but Chad has been the child of my heart. Seeing him come to life again was like watching a baby being born. I couldn’t love him more. I was nervous to meet you as well.”

  “Me, really?”

  “He loves you, I could tell. I wanted you to like me, to have a good relationship with you. Family is important to me, more so than most anything. My boys have always chosen wisely with their women, and I knew you would be amazing. I wanted to live up to everything Chad thinks of me, for him and for you.”

  “From the second I met you I knew that we would get along. You are everything he said you were.” Scarlet stopped for a moment, then continued in almost a whisper. “He never actually told me he loved me. I only heard it when Tom made him say it. I love him so much. I can’t think about anything but him getting better. There is no other option.”

  “He’s going to pull through honey. Our boy is a fighter”

  “Why didn’t you stop him?” I demanded.

  “This again?” my mom responded, her tone dismissive.

  “Yes, this again. You’ve never once given me an answer. I deserve an answer. All the abuse and pain, what happened to Frannie. Why didn't you stop it? You just let it happen.”

  “I couldn't stop it. There was nothing I could do. He would have hit me if I tried.”

  “So you let him hit us instead. What kind of mother are you?”

  “Stop it. Don’t you dare presume anything about me. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”

  “No, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I know what I’ve been through. Moms are supposed to look out for their children, not turn a blind eye. You are just as bad as he is. You let it happen.”

  “You have no right to talk to me that way.”

  “Don’t act like you’re mother of the year. What you did was just as bad.”

  “I’ve never raised a hand to you kids. Never once. I tried to stop him. I told him he shouldn't do it.”

  “Why do I not remember that? Was that at the very beginning? You were just glad it wasn’t you being hit weren’t you?”

  “Yes. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? That I was more afraid of being hurt than protecting you kids? It’s true. I didn't want him to hit me. I loved him too much for that, I didn't want to hate him.”

  “You would rather us hate you? You made us, carried us inside of you for nine whole months. How could you let him do it? You aren’t a mother at all.”

  “Get out of this house!” she screamed. “I can’t bear to look at you right now.”

  I didn't care if she made me leave. She was awful, I couldn’t bear to look at her either. The worst part was that I didn’t have anywhere to go. What my father had done all those years ago had marked us, no one wanted anything to do with us. Sure I had friends, but none of them would really invite me over.

  It was times like this that I missed Becca. I wished she wouldn’t have left, but I knew she needed to have a life too. I just had to hold on for a few more years.

  “Did the doctor’s say anything about Tom?” Scarlet asked.

  “I didn’t ask,” Becca responded.

  “Don’t worry about that sweetie, we have it well in hand,” Ruth chimed in.

  “Did you just see that?” Scarlet screamed, her hand gripping mine. “His eyes fluttered! Chad, can you hear me baby? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

  I could do this, I could squeeze her hand. My eyelids felt like they weighed a million pounds each. Can you feel me squeezing baby?

  “Oh my God! He’s squeezing my hand. Ruth, Becca, he’s really doing it!”

  I could feel her lips on my fingers.

  “Honey, try and open your eyes for us,” Ruth said gently, her hand on my forehead.

  I’m trying Mom. I’m trying.

  “Good job baby,” Scarlet praised. “A little more. Someone go and get the doctor.”

  I could hear a lot of commotion, things being moved around. Everyone talking at once. I was regaining feeling in my limbs, and I could wiggle my toes.

  “Chad, can you hear me?” a male voice asked. “Can you open your eyes for me?”

  I blinked once, everything was so bright. My beautiful Scarlet was standing next to me, tears running down her cheeks. My eyes closed again for a moment, I was so damn tired.

  “That’s it baby. Open your eyes again,” Scarlet spoke softly.

  “Scarlet?” My voice was hoarse, my throat felt scratchy.

  “Oh thank God.” She sank to her knees next to me.

  “Chad, I’m Doctor Hill. You’ve been out for over a week. I need to run a few routine tests if you feel up to it now?”

  I nodded slowly, wanting more than anything for this to be over quickly so I could talk to my girl and see my family.

  “Can you squeeze my hand?”
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  I did what he asked, hating that my grip wasn’t as strong as I would like. “Is this normal? I feel really weak.”

  “It’s very normal. Your body has been through a lot, and it’s healing. Can you feel this?” He pressed something to the bottom of my foot.

  I nodded.

  “How about this?” He repeated the process with the other foot.

  I nodded again.

  “Good, very good. Okay, I’m pleased with your reflexes and responses for now. I’m going to give you some time with your family. Not too long though since you still need your rest.”

  “Thank you Doctor Hill, we really appreciate everything you’ve done for our boy,” Ruth beamed at him. She had her arm around Becca, and both of them were crying.

  “Mom?” I’d never really called her Mom before, but that was what she was to me. More so than my biological mom.

  “Right here honey.” She was standing over me in an instant.

  “I’m sorry for all of this,” I said weakly.

  “Stop it. I wouldn’t hear it from your beautiful Scarlet, and I’m not going to hear it from you. I’m the one who is sorry. If I could go back in time I would have done things differently. But that’s not important anymore. The important thing is that you’re okay and back with us now. Promise me you won’t scare me like this again, I think I have half a head of new grey hairs.”

  My eyes locked on Scarlet. Her bruises were fading but were still visible. My stomach clenched as I remembered everything.

  “We’re going to give you two a moment alone.” Becca kissed my forehead and dragged Ruth out of the room with her.

  “Chad…I…”

  “You’re okay right?”

  She laughed. “Really? You just woke up out of a coma, and you’re asking me if I’m okay? Yes, I’m okay, a few cracked ribs and some stitches.”

  “I love you.”

  Her knees buckled, and she sat on the bed next to me.

  “I should have told you a long time ago. I love you so damn much. I hate that the first time you heard me say it was when you had a knife pressed to your throat. I can never undo what he did to you and for that I’ll always feel guilty. Knowing that you weren’t seriously injured makes me feel a bit better.”