by K. M. Scott
“Not one fucking word.”
“You’re already sitting down. I figured I could start talking now.”
His blue eyes flash an anger rarely seen in my uncle recently. “Don’t be a smart ass. You know what I meant.”
“Actually, I don’t know why I’m here getting this treatment while that asshole is probably out in the dining room having a little snack to soothe his feelings.”
Cassian takes another breath in and lets it out before asking, “What is with you two? You nearly came to blows on Labor Day last year, and at Christmas your grandmother thought the two of you were going to tear up her living room. This is the third time one of us has had to step in and separate you two. So what’s going on?”
My heartbeat begins to slow down and return to normal now that the adrenaline isn’t pumping through my body. Sagging in my chair, I look away, not wanting to have this conversation with this uncle or anyone else.
“Maybe you shouldn’t separate us and we can see how that goes.”
“What is going on, Cade? All of you boys used to hang out in school. You never fought then. What’s happened in the past year to make you two always want to be at each other’s throats?” Cassian asks, genuinely not knowing why I’ve had a problem with Wilder for a long time.
Long before he showed up and he and his friends acted like dicks to Hailey.
I turn to look at my uncle and see real concern in his expression. Always the brother who wanted a big, happy family, he’s bothered when any of us don’t get along. By the look in his eyes now, I have a feeling he’s really freaked out by what he just saw.
He has no idea how long it was in coming.
“As for why he has a problem with me, I have no idea. I haven’t had a conversation with him since like eleventh grade. So you’re going to have to ask him about that. As for me, my problem with Wilder is what it’s been since we were kids. This past year just brought it into sharper focus.”
Cassian nods, but I doubt he knows what’s going on. He probably thinks it has to do with Wilder getting sent away for a year. I don’t care about that. People do stupid things like stealing stuff. Wilder has always done things like that. He just happened to get caught this time.
And just as I guessed, my uncle quietly asks, “Is this about him going to jail? Everybody makes mistakes, Cade. He’s family. We’re supposed to support him now that he’s out.”
Just hearing that same tired excuse for that shithead’s bad behavior makes me want to throw up. “To be honest, Cassian, I don’t care about that. It was pretty inevitable that Wilder was going to end up in jail at some point or another. I mean, come on. He was trouble from the minute he showed up in our family. Was anyone really surprised that he got caught stealing money from someone? Really? But I don’t care about that. What pisses me off is he always gets a fucking pass. He fails a grade? Oh, he’ll do better next year and we all have to support him. He gets in trouble with the cops the first time? Oh, well he’s had a troubled life. He gets in trouble with the cops the next five times? Same excuse. Every goddamned time it’s ‘he’s had a rough life.’ Fuck that. He’s had a charmed life with Kane and Abbi, and I don’t know why anyone wants to pretend otherwise.”
The shocked look on my uncle’s face tells me he had no idea I harbored these feelings for my cousin. Oh, well. Now the truth is out. I’m sure he’ll try to give me some lecture on how Wilder’s life has been so tough, but I’m not buying it.
“What is all of this really about, Cade? You don’t care for your cousin, but not because of him getting in trouble or even that we all are probably a little too easy on him. But that’s not what this is about, is it?”
Part of me wants to stand up, toss this chair I’m sitting on across the room, and storm out of this place since he just admitted what I’ve known forever and it doesn’t seem to bother him. But another part of me is finally ready to say what’s been on my mind about Wilder and his bullshit.
Congratulations, Cassian March. You’re the lucky guy who gets to hear what I have to say today. Buckle up. It’s going to get pretty fucking wild from this point on.
I lean forward toward his desk and take a deep breath, but not to calm myself down like he did a few minutes ago. I need that air in my lungs so I can get all these fucking words out I’ve been holding in for what feels like forever.
“You know what this is all about? I’ve been busting my balls being everything I was supposed to be, and when I want to take some time to figure out just what the fuck I want to do with my life, I get nothing but grief about it. Wilder, on the other hand, gets to screw up time after time after time, and nobody gives him a hassle about a single goddamned thing.”
My uncle opens his mouth to say something, but I’m not done yet, so I hold up my hand to stop him. “I got great grades in high school and never failed a damn class. He failed a whole entire grade. But did anyone give him a moment’s grief about it? Nope. When I graduated, I was expected to go to college, but he gets a pass because everyone is just happy he got out. I go to a top rate school and do well for four years. And what did he do in that time? He got caught stealing and got sent to prison. So then last year the two of us were fresh off college and doing time. Has he spent the last year being asked what he’s going to do with his life? Is he expected to hold down even a part-time job? No on both counts.”
And now comes the part that pisses me off the most.
“I never fucked up the way he did. Never. Yet I get the ‘Cade, you need to have a job or you’ll lose everything’ speech from my father, while that son of a bitch gets to do exactly what he wants to do or doesn’t want to do and nobody says a damn word to him. That’s why he can bust up into the island house the other night with his two lowlife friends he probably met in jail while I’m there with my girlfriend and he has to be fucking told to leave. So yeah, it’s not really about one thing. It’s about a lifetime of things that he’s gotten away with while I don’t get a damn pass on anything.”
When the last word comes out of my mouth, it feels like a ten ton weight has been lifted off me. I lean back against the chair and take another deep breath, blowing it out in a rush a second later.
That felt good. All of it. Saying what’s on my mind. Not holding back. Everything.
Cassian looks like he’s been slapped across the face when I finish, leaning back in his own chair like he needs to increase the space between us just in case I start talking again. He doesn’t have to worry. I’ve got nothing more to say about the subject of my cousin and how goddamned easy he’s had it all his life.
“Cade, I had no idea you were dealing with so much,” he says quietly, like he’s in shock after what I just told him. “I know your father means well, but I don’t think he realizes the pressure he’s put on you all this time.”
I shake my head, not willing to let my father take the blame for everything this time. “It’s not that, though. I never cared about his expectations. Well, not until recently now that he’s shanghaied me back into service at the club. But it never bothered me that I was expected to do well in school and go to college and do well there too. All of us dealt with that. Alex wasn’t given a pass on anything by you and Olivia. Neither was Cash. Liam either, which is strange since he’s got the same parents as Wilder. It wasn’t just me who was expected to do something, but then you look at how he’s gotten away with so much and doesn’t have to deal with a single thing, other than when the state decided he needed to do some time for taking that money. This isn’t about my father and me. It’s about two men with a single year yet only one of them has to get his life entirely planned out while the other has all the freedom in the world.”
“He did have a rough start, Cade. His mother overdosed when he was five, and if it hadn’t been for Kane and Abbi, he would have been on a path to surely repeat his mother’s mistake.”
I point across the desk at him when he proves exactly what I’ve been talking about. “That. That right there. He was five when that happe
ned. Since then, he’s been with our family and gotten to enjoy all the good stuff the rest of us have. When exactly does something that happened to him twenty years ago stop being an excuse for the rest of his life?”
Cassian hangs his head, unable to answer that question just like everyone else in our family. “I’m sorry you’re unhappy working for your father, Cade. For what it’s worth, I don’t think he intends it as a punishment. I don’t think he’d want your life to be unhappy like this.”
“You don’t get it. I’m not unhappy. I have a girlfriend I’m crazy about. I love my condo and my car. My best friend, who is probably still stunned I tried to go all MMA in his kitchen, and most of my family are great. So I’m happy. I just have a hard time swallowing the insistence that I figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life when Wilder, who is two years older than me and has already done time, gets to live life how he wants and bust up a night with my girlfriend at the island house with his two scumbag friends because he has no responsibilities.”
“I’m not going to ask what happened there. Just tell me your grandmother’s house doesn’t look like the wreck you made of the kitchen a few minutes ago,” Cassian says in a voice full of worry to match the panicked expression he’s giving me.
The way he makes it seem like Wilder and I are the same kind of man pisses me off. I fold my arms across my chest and shake my head as I push down the urge to tell my favorite uncle to fuck off.
“I wouldn’t do that to Grandma’s house, Cassian. Can you say the same for him?”
He doesn’t answer, which tells me all I need to know. He isn’t blind to what Wilder is. Good. Now maybe he can act like it from now on.
Standing to leave, I look toward the door for the first time, remembering that Kane is nearby and might have heard everything I said. Too bad. I’m tired of pretending just for family unity and peace.
Cassian looks up at me and tries to give me a sympathetic smile. “Do you want me to talk to your father? He probably doesn’t realize any of this is happening with you, so it might help if I spoke to him.”
“Not necessary. My father knows perfectly well how I feel about being back at Club X. And just so everyone in this family doesn’t get it wrong about me, I’m not there because I’m lazy or I can’t get another job. I don’t know what I want to do, but since my father demanded I work at something or lose everything that’s mine, I chose to go back there. I hate it, but I don’t have another choice right now.”
My uncle doesn’t say anything for a long moment, but then a smile lifts the corners of his mouth until he gives me a big Cassian March grin that could charm the birds out of the trees. “I sometimes forget how much you’re like Stefan. I can’t tell you how many times he said something very similar about your uncle back when he was close to your age. You might even find he agrees with you when it comes to Wilder. He just can’t see it because he’s too busy being your father.”
“Well, feel free to clue him into that. I don’t need you to talk to him about me or what I’m doing with my life, though. He knows already. He sees me five nights a week behind the main bar.”
“Do you mind me giving you some advice I gave your father all those years ago?”
The last thing I want is advice about anything concerning how I feel about Wilder at this moment, but since I doubt it would matter if I said no, I merely give him a noncommittal shrug. I know how this family works. If he doesn’t say it to me, I’m likely to get a call from someone else looking to share their wisdom about this topic with me. Better to hear it from Cassian since I like him the most out of nearly everyone, except his sons.
“Don’t let resentment about this eat you up. It will steal your happiness, and you don’t deserve to have that happen.”
I look down at him, unconvinced he ever said that to his younger brother. “You told my father that? In those words?”
He laughs and leans back in his chair. “Well, I probably sprinkled in a few expletives and called him a name or two, but it was basically the same sentiment.”
“And what was his response?” I ask, now curious about how that little talk went compared to how I’m feeling right now.
“I don’t recall specifically what he said, but I imagine it involved telling me to fuck off or to mind my own business. You know your father when he gets hot about something.”
“That I do,” I say as I move to leave.
“Come back again,” he says as I head toward the door. “But next time, don’t bust up my kitchen, okay?”
I give him a nod and force a smile for my favorite uncle. “I’ll see what I can do.”
If Wilder’s there, I can’t promise anything. Just because I admitted how pissed off he gets me doesn’t mean I won’t want to take a swing at him the next time he shows up in front of my face.
Chapter Eleven
Hailey
All weekend, I tried out new recipes in my quest to find the very best desserts to show off to Brooke Dunning. The Boston Cream Whoopee Pies with chocolate glaze turned out incredible, so they definitely made the cut. The coconut and pistachio meringue cookies didn’t end up as good, though, but I might try again this week before I meet her on Friday. My tried and true key lime pie came through like always, but I’m not sure I want to take something so commonplace to a meeting with a nationally known food blogger.
All of this fills my head on Monday afternoon when my phone rings with a call from Cade. Thrilled to speak to him for the first time since Saturday afternoon, I quickly answer and start talking without even saying hi.
“Wait until you see what I came up with! I’m still working on a couple more, but I saved you a whoopee pie you’re going to love.”
“I hope it can keep until tomorrow afternoon. I have to fill in for Katelyn tonight,” he says, sounding disappointed.
And I have to make it worse when I tell him I can’t see him then either. “I have to work on these every day, Cade. I’m sorry. How about Tuesday night?”
“She can’t work until Thursday, so that’s the first night I’ll be off. Any chance that pie is going to be good three days from now?”
“Probably not,” I sulk. “But I have to make more for Friday, so I can save you one of those. I’m going to miss you this week.”
“Me too, Hailey. I miss you already, and it’s only been a couple days since I’ve seen you.”
He sounds so down that I want to do something to cheer him up. “Well, think about what you want to do on Thursday night and we’ll go all out. Whatever you want. I’m going to need something to take the stress away because I’m probably going to be pretty strung out by then. I just hope I find some more desserts that work.”
I hear a smile in his voice when he says, “You will. Don’t worry. As for Thursday, we’re probably not going to leave the bedroom. I miss you so much already.”
My cheeks heat up as I blush at the thought of how much I wish we could be together right now. “I’m fine with that. We just have to make sure we bring in some drinks. Hydration is key in marathons,” I say with a giggle.
“I’ll stock up on some because I’m going to be in marathon mode by the time Thursday rolls around.”
“Good. That’ll make two of us.”
I sense unhappiness creep into our conversation again when he falls silent, but before I can try to cheer him up with a funny story about how one of my chocolate creations blew up in my face, covering me from my neck up in melted chocolate, he clears his throat and says, “I have to go. Katelyn shows up earlier than I do because she handles the upkeep of the main bar usually, so now that’s on me. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay. Or maybe I’ll text you tonight if it’s not too busy.”
The way he sounds makes me wonder if he’s just miserable about going to work at the club or something else. I don’t know how to ask about what that something else may be, though.
“Okay. I’m always up for texts.”
“Then maybe I’ll send some if I can.”
Everything about
him sounds so noncommittal now. Has something changed between us, I wonder?
“Is there anything you want to talk about, Cade?”
“No. I’m the same old me. Just not looking forward to work tonight. I wanted to see you instead of a bunch of drunks. Everything’s okay, and I promise by Thursday night, I’ll be out of this funk.”
“Okay. I’ll miss you.”
“Me too, Hailey. Talk to you later.”
When the call ends, I can’t help question if there’s something else that’s wrong. He was so happy all those days we spent together. Now he sounds like a different person.
I shake my head to push those needless worries out of my head. He doesn’t like his job. That’s it. It’s nothing more.
“Knock knock! Can you have visitors?”
Lifting my head from a lump of dough that refuses to do what I want, I smile at the sight of Meadow and Alex standing in front of me. “Hi! You’re the last two people I expected to see tonight.”
I quickly wipe my hands on my stained apron I’ve been wearing all day and hope I don’t have flour or anything else on my face. “What are you guys doing here?”
“When Meadow said you were hunkered down here coming up with new desserts, I told her I wanted to come over and check them out. You don’t mind us intruding, do you?” Alex says, seeming genuinely concerned about interrupting me.
“You’re always welcome in this kitchen. Both of you. It’s almost closing time, so it’s just me back here anyway. I’m hoping to stumble upon something incredible, but so far, no luck. I should have stopped playing with this dough half an hour ago. Now it’s just a mess.”
Meadow gives me a wide-eyed stare and glances over at Alex to let me know she’s thrilled to be hanging out with him tonight. I wish I could ask her how it all came about, but since the restaurant is basically closed, I have no reason to be dragging her off to the dining room without him knowing we’re gossiping about him.