compass of whosethoughts became each day more narrow, and her manner of talk moretasteless. Hubert seemed not well pleased when I told him my fatherhad been ordained abroad. I gathered this from a troubled look in hiseyes, and an increasing paleness, which betokened, to my now observanteyes, emotions which he gave not vent to in words at all, or leastwaysin any that should express strong resentment. His silence alwaysfrighted me more than anger in others. He had acquired a greatinfluence over me, and, albeit I was often ill at ease in his company,I ill brooked his absence. He was a zealous Catholic, and did adducearguments and proofs in behalf of his religion with rare ability. Someof his writings which I copied at that time had a cogency andclearness in their reasons and style, which in my poor judgmentbetokened a singular sharp understanding and ingenuity of learning;but in his conversation, and writings also, was lacking the fervencyof spirit, the warmth of devout aims, the indifferency to worldlyregards, which should belong to a truly Christian soul, or else thenobleness and freedom of speech which some do possess from naturaltemper. But his attainments were far superior to those of the youngmen I used to see at Mr. Wells's, and such as gave him anextraordinary reputation amongst the persons I was wont to associatewith, which contributed not a little to the value I did set on hispreference, of which no proofs were wanting, save an open paying ofhis addresses to me, which by reason of his young age and mine, andthe poorness of his prospects, being but a younger son of a countrygentleman, was easy of account. He had a great desire for wealth andfor all kind of greatness, and used to speak of learning as a road toit.
In the spring of that year, my Lord Surrey left Cambridge, and came tolive at Howard House with his lady. They were then both in theireighteenth years, and a more comely pair could not be seen. The yearsthat had passed since she had left London had greatly matured herbeauty. She was taller of stature than the common sort, and very fairand graceful. The earl was likewise tall, very straight, long-visaged,but of a pleasant and noble countenance. I could not choose but admireher perfect carriage, toward her lord, her relatives, and herservants; the good order she established in her house; the care shetook of her sister's education, who in two years was to be married toLord William Howard; and her great charity to the poor, which she thenbegan to visit herself, and to relieve in all sorts of ways, and waswont to say the angels of that old house where God had been served byso many prayers and alms must needs assist her in her care forthose in trouble. My lord appeared exceedingly fond of her then. Oneday when I was visiting her ladyship, he asked me if I had read thelife of that sweet holy Queen Elizabeth of Hungary; and as I said Ihad not met with it, he gifted me with a copy fairly printed and wellornamented, which Mr. Martin had left behind him when he went beyondseas, and said:
"Mistress Sherwood, see if in this book you find not the likeness of alady which you mislike not any more than I do. Beshrew me, but I fearI may find some day strange guests in mine house if she do copy thepattern herein set down; and so I will e'en send the book out of thehouse, for my lady is too good for me already, and I be no fittinghusband for a saint, which a very little more of virtue should makeher."
And so he laughing, and she prettily checking his wanton speech, andsuch sweet loving looks and playful words passing between them asgladdened my heart to see.
Some time after, I found one day my Lady Surrey looking somewhat graveand thoughtful. She greeted me with an affectionate kiss, and said,
"Ah, sweet Constance, I be glad thou art come; for methinks we shallsoon leave London."
"So soon?" I answered.
"Not _too_ soon, dear Constance," she said somewhat sadly.
I did look wistfully in her sweet face. Methought there was trouble init, and doubt if she should further speak or not; for she rested herhead on her hand, and her dark eyes did fix themselves wistfully onmine, as if asking somewhat of me, but what I knew not. "Constance,"she said at last, "I have no mother, no sister of mine own age, nobrother, no ghostly father, to speak my mind to. Methinks it shouldnot be wrong to unbosom my cares to thee, who, albeit young, hast athoughtful spirit, and, as I have often observed, an aptness to givegood counsel. And then thou art of that way of thinking wherein I wasbrought up, and though in outward show we now do differ, I am notgreatly changed therein, as thou well knowest."
"Alack!" I cried, "too well I do know it, dear lady; and, albeit mytongue is silent thereon, my heart doth grieve to see you comfortlessof that which is the sole source of true comfort."
"Tis not that troubles me," she answered, a little impatiently. "Thouart unreasonable, Constance. My duty to my lord shapes my outwardbehavior; but I have weighty cares, nevertheless. Dost thou mind thatpassage in the late duke our father's letter to his son and me?--thatwe should live in a lower degree, and out of London and from thecourt. Methinks a prophetic spirit did move him thus to write. My lordhas a great heart and a generous temper, and loves to spend money inall sorts of ways, profitable and unprofitable, as I too well observesince we have been in London. And the queen sent him a store ofmessages by my Lord Essex, and others of his friends, that she wassurprised not to see him at court; and that it was her highness'spleasure he should wait upon her, and she shall show him so much favoras he deserves, and such like inducements."
"And hath my lord been to court?" I asked.
"Yea, he hath been," she answered, sighing deeply. "He hath beenforced to kiss the hand which signed his father's death-warrant.Constance, it is this which doth so pain me, that her majesty shouldthink he hath in his heart no resentment of that mishap. She said tomy Lady Berkeley some days since, when she sued for some favor at herhands, 'No, no, my Lady Berkeley; you love us not, and never will. Youcannot forgive us your brother's death.' Why should her grace think ason hath less resentment of a father's loss than a sister?"
Willing to minister comfort to her touching that on which I did,nevertheless, but too much consent to her thinking, I said, "In mylord's case, he must have needs appeared to mislike the queenand her government if he stayed away from court, and his duty to hissovereign compelleth him to render her so much homage as is due to hermajesty."
"Yea," cried my lady, "I be of the same mind with thee, that if mylord do live in London he is in a manner forced to swim with the tide,and God only knoweth into what a flood of troubles he may thus be led.But I have prevailed on him to go to Kenninghall, and there to enjoythat retired life his father passionately wished him to be contentedwith. So I do look, if it please God, to happy days when we leave thisgreat city, where so many and great dangers beset us."
"Have you been to court likewise, dear lady?" I asked; and sheanswered,
"No; her majesty doth deny me that privilege which the wife of anobleman should enjoy without so much as the asking for it. My LordArundel and my Lord Sussex are mad thereon, and swear 'tis the gipsy'sdoing, as they do always title Lord Leicester, and a sign of hishatred to my lord. But I be not of their mind; for methinks he dothbut aid my lord to win the queen's favor by the slights which are puton his wife, which, if he doth take patiently, must needs secure forhim such favor as my Lord Leicester should wish, if report speakstruly, none should enjoy but himself."
"But surely," I cried, "my lord's spirit is too noble to stomach somean a treatment of his lady?"
A burning blush spread over the countess's face, and she answered,
"Constance, nobility of soul is shaped into action by divers motivesand influences. And, I pray thee, since his father's death and theloss of his first tutor, who hath my lord had to fashion the aims ofhis eager spirit to a worthy ambition, and teach him virtuouscontentment with a meaner rank and lower fortunes than his birth doentitle him to? He chafes to be degraded, and would fain rise to theheights his ancestors occupied; and, alas! the ladder which those whobeset him--for that they would climb after him--do ever set before hiseyes is the queen's majesty's favor. 'Tis the breath of theirnostrils, the perpetual theme of their discourse. Mine ears sometimesache with the sound of their oft-repeated words."
Then she broke off her
speech for an instant, but soon asked me if toconsult fortune-tellers was not a sin.
"Yea," I answered, "the Church doth hold it to be unlawful."
"Ah!" she replied, "I would to God my lord had never resorted to aperson of that sort, which hath filled his mind with an apprehensionwhich will work us great evil, if I do mistake not."
"Alas!" I said, "hath my lord been so deluded?"
"Thou hast heard, I ween," my lady continued, "of one Dr. Dee, whomthe queen doth greatly favor, and often charge him to cast herhoroscope. Some time ago my lord was riding with her majesty and themost part of her court near unto this learned gentleman's house atMortlake, which her highness,
Constance Sherwood: An Autobiography of the Sixteenth Century Page 43