by Esme Devlin
“Drink makes you brave, darlin.” I drop one foot and pick up the other one, squeezing her ankle until she lets out a little squeal. “Wish I could say the same, but your friend is an arsehole,” I joke.
“You took it like a pro,” she tells me.
“Anything for the little princess. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf, remember? Best behavior.”
“Oh, sure… you said that. But here we are, alone in my bedroom, one of us inebriated and not capable of making good decisions.” Her tone is surprisingly playful.
“One of us much stronger than the other one,” I tell her.
“One of us the prey, and one of us the predator,” she says, sliding down off the bed so she’s facing me on the floor.
“Which one do you want to be?” I ask.
“The predator.” she replies.
“I’m the aggressive one,” I say, giving her a gentle push so she falls back against the side of her bed.
She corrects her position but moves closer to me. “I’m the smarter one.”
“I could break every one of your bones.”
She pulls in close, until I can feel the warmth of her breath on the side of my cheek. She just breathes for a second, sending a shiver right down my spine. “I could break every piece of your heart,” she whispers with a shrug. I can’t see her face, but I can make out the outline of her body well enough now that my eyes are adjusting.
Maybe she could.
Chapter 17
Lacey
Shaun Keagan. In my bedroom.
Will I ever get used to thinking those words?
But tonight, I’m not scared like I was the first time. Tonight I feel brave. In fact, fuck that. Tonight I feel like I don’t need to be brave. Tonight I feel powerful. Invincible. Like he couldn’t hurt me, even if he wanted to.
“I could break every one of your bones,” he says.
I’m kneeling down on my bedroom floor, inches from him. My mouth is almost touching the side of his jaw, and every breath I take is a mixture of cologne, testosterone, and electricity.
“I could break every piece of your heart,” I whisper in his ear.
He turns his head to face me and his breath warms the air between us. The room gets too hot. Blood rushes to my head, my heart, my whole body. I feel like I’m running, but I’m not moving. In fact, I don’t think I’m even capable of moving.
“I believe you,” he growls back.
I don’t have to move. Shaun moves for both of us. His hands come to my shoulders and he pushes me down, pinning me to the floor up against the bed.
“Are you feeling like prey now?” he asks me, taking my head in his hands and pressing his forehead on to mine.
I nod slowly. He can’t see it, but he’ll feel it.
“Do you want me to stop?” he whispers.
“Would you stop if I said yes?” I ask.
He pauses for what feels like an eternity and I’m on the edge, waiting for his reply. “I don’t know.”
His words should terrify me, but they don’t. I wonder if something is wrong with me? It’s like he’s so fucking bright that I get blinded when I’m near him. I’m helpless. I am the prey. I have no choice.
“Then no. I don’t want you to stop,” I whisper.
He tilts his head and our lips touch for the first time since he’s been in my room. Just a brush. A single caress that lights a fire inside me.
“I won’t ask you again, princess,” he says, his voice low and husky.
I try to think rationally, but how can I do that when his weight has me pinned down? He’s everywhere. I told him I was drunk, but I’m not. It’s not alcohol that’s made reason flee from my brain; it’s something else. It’s him, like a drug. I’m not addicted, not yet, but it’s something I know I shouldn’t do. The forbidden fruit. Illicit and dangerous. Not to mention, completely fucking unattainable.
I know if I fuck him tonight he’ll be gone by tomorrow.
But I want to know what it feels like. Even if he only wants my body, and he walks away tomorrow, at least I’ll know what it feels like to be wanted. For once.
“You won’t need to,” I tell him.
He goes for my wrists and forces them down against the hard floor, bedside my head. My back arches and my chest strains against the fabric of my bra.
He runs his lips across my jaw and down my neck, while he whispers, “So. Fucking. Perfect.”
I squirm under him. His grip on my wrists intensifies and my heart thuds.
“Will you be gentle?” I ask him.
His mouth moves down my neck and across my chest, following the curve of my breasts. I push them up to meet him and my head rolls back against the hard floor.
“Only when I break you, princess,” he growls back. I’m about to look at him. I’m about to ask him what that means, but I don’t get time. He releases my wrists and instantly his hands fly to the neck of my blouse, he rears back and the sound of fabric tearing nearly stops my heart. He doesn’t give me a second to react, to process what’s happening. He pulls my bra down and his hands, his mouth, they’re everywhere all at once. Like a frenzy.
One hand squeezes, the other kneads. His mouth locks on to my nipple and one second he’s swirling, licking, sending shock-waves straight to some place deep between my legs. The next, he’s biting, tugging, pushing me right to the edge of pain.
I feel like I’m being eaten alive.
And I fucking love it.
I take his head in my hands and run my fingers through his hair, over his ears, down his neck. I want to feel every inch of him. My thighs part on instinct and I wrap them around his middle, crossing my legs behind him and locking him in place. I want him to take everything. Every single part of me.
His mouth moves up to my neck, and he kisses me with a ferocity that makes my hips buck against him. He grabs a hold of my thighs and his weight presses down on me, but I like it. His back arches and he pulls my whole lower body up off the floor, forcing me with his hands on my ass to grind against him.
I don’t fight this.
I want this.
I can feel his dick, rock solid through his jeans searing into me, telling me clearly how much he wants this, too. His tongue moves over my ear, kissing and sucking and fucking and I come apart. The frenzy he’s in, it’s like it’s catching. I can feel myself losing control. I need him. I need him inside me. I need him like I need air in my lungs.
I never knew the line between love and hate could blur so easily.
I never knew how beautifully pleasure dances with torture.
I never knew passion could feel like a madness.
If this is madness, then I don’t care.
I need to be closer. I need to feel the heat of his skin against me. His lips press down hard against mine and I open for him. My mouth can’t get enough of him. He removes the rest of my blouse while I pop open the buttons on his shirt. His hands run over every inch of me and still I fumble with his buttons, trying to get his shirt off without our lips breaking apart.
He sits up on his knees, and I feel the loss of his weight on my chest like an emptiness inside me. He pulls the straps down on my bra and I slide my arms through, and then he goes straight for the button on my jeans, flicking it easily with one hand while the other is already sliding them over my hips. My knickers follow soon after. Finally, he comes back and undoes the clip on my bra. Within seconds he has me naked, and I only managed the top three buttons on his shirt.
I sit up to meet him, to remove his clothes too, but he stops me, taking my hands in his and planting a kiss on them.
“I take the clothes off,” he tells me.
I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. He scoops me up in his arms easily and lays me down in the middle of the bed. The covers are cool beneath me, and the rush of air I feel puts me on edge. I feel exposed, like there’s an imbalance between us.
He comes to the center of my legs and spreads them wide on the bed in front of him. His grip stays har
d on my thighs, and the next thing I know his hunger is back and his mouth is eating the inside of my leg. I squirm against him.
This is too much.
His hands are pawing at me, forcing me to open further, forcing my knees down onto the bed. His lips move closer, inches away from the place I don’t want him to go. Except I need him to go there. There’s a fucking hunger inside me, too, and it’s eating me alive.
His lips brush the crest where my legs meet my pussy and I shudder hard on the bed. I don’t know what to do. Half of me wants to thrust my hips up to meet his mouth and the other half of me wants to slide up the bed, away from him. Away from this torture. But I can’t get away, he’s got me locked down and just the thought of it thrills me.
“Have you ever been kissed here, princess?” he asks, his voice like gravel. His breath as he speaks blows over my exposed flesh and I squirm with a sigh.
“No,” I tell him.
“Then I’m going to enjoy it even more. I’m going to eat your sweet little cunt until I hear you screaming my name,” he tells me.
His words and his proximity make be shiver. I need him to do it. I need him to ease my suffering.
“But first I want to hear you ask for it.”
“Please,” I whisper, without hesitation. I lift my hips, as much as physically possible but he turns his face to my inner leg, and my pussy meets his stubbled jaw.
“No,” he says, kissing my leg. “Ask for it properly. Tell me what you need. Beg for it.”
I pause, moaning as his kisses inch towards my centre but never quite reach it. Saying it would mean playing his game. I told him I didn’t want him to stop, but now he wants me to beg for it. Begging for it means I’ve forgiven him for what he did to me that first night, and I haven’t. I still hate him for that. He took something from me that night, when he touched me. He took my innocence and replaced it with something darker. And now, that dark and twisted part of me, that he created, wants to give him everything else.
He’s fucked me.
He’s fucked my mind.
And now I want him to fuck me proper.
“Please do it,” I breathe, squirming against him. “Please eat my pussy. Please fuck me.”
He chuckles and his breath makes the tiny hairs on my thighs stand on end. “Good girl.”
His mouth crashes down on my pussy with a growl and my breath catches in my throat. His hands grip onto my ass and he lifts me off the bed, the whole time swirling his tongue all over me and I’m dying. I think I might die. It feels incredible. It feels like he’s starving, and I have exactly what he needs to feed his appetite.
This is what it feels like to be wanted.
He doesn’t stop, not until I’m a shaking, shivering, soaking wet mess and my hands are balled into fists of frustration. I grab at the pillows beside my head, trying to find something real. Trying to keep a grip on reality. But its so fucking hard. When he sticks his tongue inside me, I fall apart. My thighs clamp hard around his beautiful head and I feel like I’m flying.
My mind is flying but my body is rigid as fuck at the same time. When I finally relax back onto the bed, I’m gasping for air like I’ve just finished a three mile sprint, and he’s still down there, still planting kisses on my spread lips and every touch makes me feel weaker.
He flicks his tongue over my clit and another wave of pleasure begins to build inside me. I sit up. His tongue isn’t enough. I need him.
I need to know what it feels like.
My fingers slide around his collar and I push his shirt apart, trying to show him what I want. He pushes me back against the bed, firmly, and sits up on his knees. I hear the movement of fabric and feel his weight shift on the bed while he strips, and I lie there, exactly how he wants me, until his naked body presses down against mine.
His hard length pushes against my thigh and I part my legs for him, making it easy.
He takes my bottom lip in his mouth, biting down on it hard until I gasp from the pain and my arms fly to his shoulders, uselessly trying to push him off.
“That hurt, princess?” he whispers, before planting a kiss right on the bite.
“Yes.”
“Get used to it,” he tells me, and I can only imagine his smirk as he reaches a hand down between us and aligns his cock at my opening.
I close my eyes. It’s really happening. He slides the tip of his cock in and I freeze. He takes a hold of my wrists and slams them down above my head, letting his full weight press me hard into the mattress.
He inches in further and pain sears my insides. It stings. It’s too much.
“Shit,” I say, my voice shaking.
“Unclench yourself, darlin,” he says with a chuckle. I giggle, I can’t help it, and just as I do he pushes the full length of him in.
“Fuck!” I cry out.
“Shhhhh,” he whispers, kissing my neck. He holds himself still inside me for what feels like forever, while he licks and bites and kisses my neck, my cheeks, my jaw. When the pain finally subsides I shift my thigh slightly, and he gives an inch, only to take a whole mile inside of me, crashing his lips down on my mouth to stifle my moan.
But it doesn’t hurt so bad anymore. He pulls back and then slams into me, and this time the moan is half pain, half pleasure. This time I tilt my hips up to meet him.
This time I want more.
He takes my subtle shift as an invitation to do whatever the fuck he wants, and before I can move again one hand grabs my ass and forces it off the bed, the other one clenches in a fist around my hair and pulls my head back. My tits rise and his mouth covers my nipple, taking it between his teeth and swirling his tongue around it.
“Fuck!” I scream as the sensations overload me. This is too much. Too. Fucking. Much.
He slams into me again and this time, he hits something inside me that I didn’t even know existed.
“Fuck. Oh fuck,” I whimper.
My legs clench around him and I grab on to his shoulders, pawing and scratching and rubbing every inch of his thick muscles while he pounds into me. His breath is ragged. His mouth is everywhere, my tits, my nipples, my neck.
He’s hot, so fucking hot and I’m burning up, but I don’t care. I’m on the edge again. I want to come so fucking badly and not only that, I want him to come, too. I want to feel him spill inside me.
“You like that, little princess?”
His head moves up and covers my mouth again. This time, I bite down on his lip and he slams into me harder, as if in revenge.
“Yes,” I moan into his mouth.
“You need to be perfect,” he tells me, his tongue running up my cheek, all the while he’s still pumping into me, still hitting that sweet spot inside me, exactly where I need him. “You need to come on my cock for me, like a perfect little princess.”
His words are like verbal ecstasy, sending shivers running straight down my spine and I’m so fucking close. If he would just stay still for a second. I try to kiss him, but I’m clumsy. I’m delirious.
“I want to come, oh god I really want to come,” I tell him, while his hand grips around my neck and tightens.
His pace slows, but the force of him intensifies until I’m moaning through the vice around my neck, grinding my hips against him and trying desperately to push myself over the edge.
His mouth slams down on my lips and this is exactly what I needed. He bites me, hard, surely drawing blood but it makes better, so I don’t care.
I cry out, straight into his mouth as my insides clench around him and I fall over the side of whatever it was I was climbing on.
I’m shuddering, my whole body moving without me even trying to as the knot inside me releases and wave after wave of pleasure wracks through my whole body. As I’m coming, he slams into me a final few times and then I hear him fucking roar. Liquid heat spreads through me and I sigh in relief as it soothes my burning muscles.
Eventually he stops shuddering and collapses on top of me, running his fingers through my hair and planti
ng little kisses on my forehead like I’m the most precious thing to ever stumble into his life.
Like he actually cares about me.
Like this actually meant something other than a fuck.
I close my eyes, short of breath and try not to think about it too much.
❖
I think it must be the middle of the night when Shaun shakes me awake. I don’t know, I’ve not opened my eyes but I’m exhausted. My back aches. There is no way in hell I’ve slept long enough.
“Lacey,” he says in a hushed tone. What could possibly be so important? “Lacey,” he says again, louder this time.
“What.”
He must find my attitude amusing because he chuckles. I peek an eye open at him. It’s not the middle of the night, I think it’s dawn. He stands at the edge of the bed, fully dressed and with an amused look on his face.
“Didn’t want you waking up to an empty bed and thinking I’d fucked off without saying goodbye,” he says.
“Goodbye,” I tell him, my tone neutral.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
I open my eyes properly and look at him. Why is he so fucking gorgeous? It’s not right. He’s looking at me like he’s daring me to argue with him. Okay, I’ll bite. “We’re not seeing each other tonight?”
“Sleep’s got you confused, darlin. You promised me a date. Last night wasn’t a date,” he says, smirking.
“Sure as hell felt like a date,” I bite back.
“That was four friends having dinner. I’ll pick you up at 7pm.” He bends down and plants a kiss on my forehead. “You were perfect, by the way.”
“You were depraved, by the way.” I imitate his tone and hear him laugh as he crosses my bedroom and walks out the door.
“Get used to it, princess. That was fucking tame,” he shouts from the hall.
Always wanting the last word.
I turn over in bed and tuck the duvet between my thighs, trying to get comfortable enough to sleep again. It’s useless though. My mouth is too dry and my head is too full.
Cup of tea.