First and Last

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First and Last Page 18

by Rachael Duncan


  After the man behind the desk prints off our photo, she examines it again, giggling softly to herself.

  “Here’s to another first. Our first rollercoaster ride,” she says, holding out the picture like she’s proud of it. My only hope is that she doesn’t hang it anywhere and stuffs it in one of her keepsake boxes or something.

  “And last.”

  She laughs slightly. “Oh, God, Blake. I just don’t know if I can do it. You know I’m nervous when you’re at work as it is.”

  “I know, and if you say no, I’ll drop it. I won’t apply and it gets squashed right now. But can I ask you to at least think about it before you make your decision?” She nods. It’s not a yes, but it’s not a no either.

  “Is she finally asleep?” I ask Mia as she comes to bed.

  “Yeah.” She lies down with a huff, exhaustion overtaking her body.

  “Come here; let me rub your back.” I scoot against the headboard and she sits between my legs. My hands move over her shoulders and rub out the knots as they continue up to her neck and then back to where they started.

  “Mmmm, that feels good,” she says on a moan. Some people might overlook the hard work she does at home, but I don’t. She takes care of things at home while I’m off at work. Aubrey is happy, healthy, and smart because of her. I’d be lost without Mia.

  “How was work?” she asks. This is really the only time we have to relax and talk. When Aubrey is awake, our lives revolve around her. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but it’s important for Mia and I to make time for each other to help us stay connected. It’s not easy when all we want to do is collapse into bed and sleep, but we make the effort.

  “Pretty uneventful. We had a lady come in wanting her car seat installed, but other than that, I just sat around.”

  “Uneventful is good,” she reminds me.

  “Yep.” My hands run the length of her spine, stopping to rub her lower back.

  “So,” she says in a relaxed tone. “I thought about what you asked, and if it’s something you really want to do, then I support it.”

  My hands freeze. “Really?” I can’t keep the excitement out of my voice. I honestly thought she’d say no.

  “I kind of googled what they did, and it said that you’re only on during certain times of the year anyway.”

  “Exactly. It would be roughly six months, mostly during the summer months, unless I was a permanent employee and not seasonal. Since I’m new, chances of me getting a year-long position are slim to none. And that’s if I get selected at all. I might not even make the cut.”

  She turns around and sits on her knees while facing me. “I have no doubts you’ll make it. When have you ever gone after something and not gotten it?” She gives me a knowing look, referring to herself.

  “Yeah, well I want you to know as much info as possible before you give the okay.” She nods so I continue. “Summers will be crazy and my days will be long. If there’s a large fire outside my base state, I might be required to travel out of town to help out with it.”

  “What would you be doing during the off season?”

  “I don’t know yet honestly. I was hoping to work for another department, but I don’t know if they’d let me leave every summer. I’d need to have a plan before we moved.” I wait for her to hear the last part.

  Her eyes widen slightly. “Move?”

  Nodding my head slowly, I study her expression. “We’d have to move where the fires are. Redding, California would be my first choice, but we could be in Oregon, Montana, hell, even Alaska.”

  Her expression drops. “I’m sorry, babe, but I can’t do Alaska.” She looks horrified at the thought, making me laugh.

  “Okay, but would you be willing to move at all? It’s a big decision, and we’d be far from our family.”

  “No, you are my family; you and Aubrey. We’re a team. I go where you go.”

  I shake my head in awe. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.” Leaning in, I give her a kiss.

  “Just not Alaska,” she reiterates against my lips.

  “Deal. Not Alaska.”

  January 2012

  “How do you think your dad will react?” I ask Mia as we drive to my mom’s house. We’re having dinner there tonight and Mr. Avery is coming over to join us.

  “Honestly, I’m not sure. I mean, he did okay when I moved to Ohio, but that was also within driving distance.” I grab her hand and hold it on the center console.

  “Dadadadada,” Aubrey babbles from the backseat. Looking at her reflection in the mirror attached to the head rest, I see her shove her whole hand in her mouth.

  “I hear ya, baby girl. We’re almost to Nana’s and then you can eat.” My girl has her daddy’s appetite and eats twenty-four seven.

  “What about your mom?” Mia asks, bringing me back to the conversation we were having.

  I shrug. “I’m not sure either. I’ve never been away from home, and with Dad being gone I worry about her a little.”

  “Luke’s here though.”

  “Yeah, he’ll check in on her.” Truthfully, if Luke wasn’t here I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of moving. Mom lives alone, not wanting to move in with Kevin. They’ve been together for a while now, but she said she’s just not able to make that step. I know she would have a hard time letting go of this house and it’d be too weird for her to have another man move in here. I’m kind of glad though. It feels wrong to have someone else share my parents’ bedroom.

  A few minutes later and we’re pulling up. Mia’s dad is walking through our yard on his way over, and Mom is sitting on the porch with Kevin waiting for our arrival. “Where’s Luke?” I ask Mom when I get out and give her a kiss on the cheek.

  She waves me off. “Oh, you know your brother. Always running late. He’ll be here when he gets here,” she says, exasperated. I roll my eyes. Yep, they don’t call him Late Luke for nothing. “Now give me that sweet baby.” She holds her arms out, completely ignoring me and going straight for Aubrey. I’m chopped liver ever since she came into the picture. I chuckle to myself and walk around to the other side to help Mia with the diaper bag.

  “Hey, Mr. Avery,” I say as I climb up the porch stairs.

  He sighs. “How many times do I have to tell you? You can call me Jack.”

  “Sorry, it’s a habit,” I say with a shrug. I’ve been calling him Mr. Avery my whole life. Jack sounds weird.

  We walk in and the house smells delicious. Right off the bat I know Mom is making her famous stuffed shells. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

  “Smells good, Mom,” I say over my shoulder.

  “Thanks. It should be ready any minute now.” She passes me and walks into the kitchen with the baby on her hip.

  I set the table and get all the drinks ready so we can eat as soon as dinner is served. Conversation is flowing and we’re all enjoying ourselves. Luke even managed to make it before everyone dug in. Clearing my throat, I decide now’s as good a time as any.

  “Mia and I actually have some news for everyone tonight.” Everyone’s eyes focus in on me.

  “Oh gosh, you’re having another baby,” Mom says hopefully, clapping her hands in excitement.

  “Uh, no, that’s not it.” If it were up to her, I’d have a litter by now. Grabbing Mia’s hand, she smiles at me before I continue. “We’ve discussed some things, and I’ve applied for a smokejumper position.” Mom’s eyebrows rise up her forehead while everyone else looks a little confused. “They’re the guys who parachute into remote locations when wildfires break out.”

  “Really, Blake?” Mom groans the same time Luke says, “Wow, that’s cool.” Kevin and Jack remain quiet. “What is wrong with you? And you’re okay with this, Mia?” Mom directs her attention to my wife.

  She nods. “I wasn’t thrilled at first, but I gave it some thought and we talked about the specifics. I don’t want to hold him back from chasing his passions. We’re a team and I support him completely.” I give her hand a squeeze, tha
nkful I have her by my side.

  “So what happens next?” her dad asks.

  “Next, we move. I got word that I’ll be joining the next rookie course that starts at the beginning of April. So, we’ll need to find a place to live between now and then.”

  “Where will you be moving?” Kevin questions.

  “Oregon.” I was hoping for California, but at least it’s not Alaska.

  “Oregon?” Mom shakes her head. Clearly this isn’t good news for anyone but us. “I’ll never see you again.” Her whole demeanor switches from shock to sadness.

  “Oh, Mom, you’ll still see us. We’ll visit as much as we can, it just won’t be in the summer months. But I promise we’ll come home and you guys are always more than welcome to visit too.”

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a slight pang at the thought of leaving my mom. I worry about her being home alone sometimes and want to make sure she’s taken care of. Luke will make sure she’s okay, but I still hate that I’ll be so far and she won’t get to see us or Aubrey all the time. Despite that, there’s something inside calling me to do this. It’s hard to explain, but it’s something that I need to do.

  I answer more questions about my job and what it will entail. I also remind them that it’s not a done deal since I haven’t made it through selection yet. I told Mia she should stay here until I’m through the six-week course in case we have to come back, but she insisted on coming. She repeated what she had told me earlier: where you go, I go.

  Two months flew by and the next thing I know we’re at the end of March and packing up our house. The station has been amazing and let me use the rest of my vacation time and said they’d put me on unpaid leave after that to hold my position in case I don’t make it. It was a huge sense of relief to know I have something to fall back on should this not pan out.

  We load up the last box in the back of the U-Haul, close the hatch, lock it up, and finally relax. “You sure you’re okay to make this drive by yourself? I could always ride with you and catch a flight back,” Josh offers. He helped me move everything, and I rewarded him handsomely with a case of beer.

  “Nah, I’m good. Thanks though.” I grab another cold one from the fridge and hand him one before cracking it open.

  It’s about a thirty-six-hour drive from here to Oregon, and there was no way in hell I was putting my wife and baby through that. So, I’m driving up first, getting the apartment set up, then picking them up from the airport a few days later. If everything goes as planned, I should make it in three and a half days, which puts me there two days before their plane arrives.

  Four o’clock in the morning will be here fast, and then it’s just me and the open road. A road that I hope brings new beginnings and exciting adventures to our little family. We’re forging our own way with me at the lead. There’s an immense amount of pressure on my shoulders, but I take that burden proudly. Everything I do is for Mia and Aubrey, and I’ll be damned if I don’t make it through this course and achieve smokejumper status.

  As I take a good look at the front of our house, I have a weird feeling about this. I don’t know if it’s just nerves and anxiety about moving my family across the United States without a concrete plan, if it’s about this course, or just the thought of leaving the one town that holds so many memories for us. Either way, I can’t shake it. Maybe this is a bad idea and I should call the whole thing off. I push that thought to the back of my mind and keep moving forward. Everything will be okay. It always is.

  April 2012

  I knew this rookie smokejumper course was going to be intense, but I underestimated just how intense it truly is. The days are long and physically tasking. Each morning starts with physical training, which includes running and some form of strength training. We change then go right into the day’s lessons in either the classroom or in-field training. The day usually ends with more running.

  Mia has been outstanding through this whole process. I haven’t been home much, and when I do walk in late at night, I’m basically a zombie. I’m awake enough to get some food in my stomach, shower, and pass out. But we’re in the home stretch and I’m that much closer to accomplishing this goal.

  It’s eight o’clock when I walk in the front door. “Hey, babe,” I say with a yawn.

  “Hey, how was your day?” She greets me with a smile. With that one look, she manages to make me feel a hundred times better. No matter how tired I am, one smile from her makes it all worth it.

  “Exhausting. We had another jump today, so that was fun.” I collapse on the couch beside her. I only need five more jumps before I’m qualified, and two more weeks until the end of this course. It’s so close I can taste it.

  She shakes her head in amusement. “I still can’t believe you skydive. Who would’ve thought?” Leaning over, she gives me a kiss. Little does she know I about pissed myself the first time. There’s something unnatural about jumping out of a perfectly functioning plane. Like Mia said: I’m not a damn bird. But she was already busting my balls about rollercoasters and shit, so I never told her.

  “I couldn’t show you how badass I am all at once. You wouldn’t be able to handle that level of awesomeness. I have to let it out little by little.”

  Her head goes back and she lets out a loud laugh. “Yeah, let me dig out that picture from Six Flags and we can all see how badass you are.” See? She just can’t let it go!

  “Are you making fun of me?” I ask with an arched brow, a devious grin spreading across my face as I stalk toward her.

  Backing up, she holds out her hand. Like that’s going to stop me. “Blake, don’t you dare,” she warns.

  “What?” I play stupid as I continue to her slowly.

  “I know that look, and I don’t like it.” She takes another step back that I match forward. She opens her mouth but I charge her before she gets another word out. Throwing her over my shoulder, she lets out a small yelp when she’s upside down. My right arm hooks over the back of her knees, keeping her in place, while my left hand reaches over to tickle the spot right under her ass.

  She squeals and tries to wiggle free. “Blake! Blake, stop. You’re going to wake up the baby,” she says through her laughter. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”

  Halting my movements over her ticklish spots, I slide her down the length of my body, staring into her eyes when she’s on her feet. I tuck a strand of hair that has fallen from her messy ponytail behind her ear. Leaning in, I stop when my lips are an inch from hers. “I love you, Mia.”

  I don’t wait for her to respond before closing the distance. The kiss is tender and unhurried, spending time to show her how I feel. After several minutes, I break away before kissing her on the cheek. When I focus in on her blue orbs, the look she gives me is enough to bring me to my knees. It doesn’t matter how many times I see it, it always has the same affect. To think this woman loves me a fraction of how I love her makes me the luckiest man alive.

  “We’re almost done. Two more weeks and things will settle down a little.”

  She nods, a small, comforting smile on her face. “Do you know what you’ll be doing in the off season yet?”

  We’re living off our savings right now and if I make it through this course, I won’t get a paycheck until June when I actually start working, so it’s important that we have a solid game plan going forward with this.

  “I was talking to the instructors, and apparently there’s so much overtime during the season, that it’s enough to make it through the year.”

  “How much overtime are you talking?”

  “He said it’s not uncommon to put in eight hundred to a thousand hours of overtime in a six-month season.”

  “Holy shit,” she responds. “We’ll never see you.” Her eyes widen and I feel her disappointment.

  “You’ll see me. Plus, that means I’ll be home for a solid six months doing nothing but driving you crazy. Don’t worry, babe. We’ll figure it all out. We always do.” Grabbing her wrist, I pull her hand
up and kiss her palm.

  “I know we will. Come on, let’s go to bed,” she says.

  Two weeks later, and I’m a qualified smokejumper. I’m part of the most elite firefighters this country has to offer, and I’m relieved it’s over. My hands and arms ache from digging trenches, my legs are sore from the three-mile hikes with one hundred and ten pounds of weight on my back, and my back hurts from a combination of everything. They weren’t kidding when they said they would push us to our breaking points. Over these six weeks, it feels like I’ve been run over by a semi-truck. I wish I could take the full credit for it, but honestly, I couldn’t have done it without Mia. She keeps me grounded and focused. I push harder because of her.

  When I walk through the front door, Mia’s smiling face is the first thing I see. I hold up the silver wings they pinned on me at the ceremony, a sense of pride washing over me. I wanted nothing more than for her to be there, but it was closed off to instructors and graduates only.

  “Congratulations, babe. I’m so proud of you.” She stands on her toes and wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me. “I knew you could do it,” she says against my lips.

  She’s been pushing and encouraging me the whole time. I know it hasn’t been easy on her with me gone a lot lately. Whenever I wanted to give up, it was Mia’s voice I’d hear. Of course, it always is. Even when we were kids. As she looks at me with adoration in her eyes and pride on her face, I know none of this would mean a damn thing without her. She’s my heart, my soul. My life is meaningless without her.

  “So, how do you want to celebrate?” she asks, excitement all over her face.

  I raise my eyebrows and look her up and down, taking in her hot body. “I can think of a few ways.”

  Her eyes smolder and I know she catches the hint. She bites her lip before saying, “Let me see if the neighbor is free to babysit.” Leaning up on her toes, she whispers in my ear, “I want you to make me scream.” She turns around and walks away.

  A growl sounds in the back of my throat while my dick pulses to life. Damn tease. She’ll pay dearly for that later.

 

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