Always Enough

by Elliott, Kelly

  I felt an excitement I hadn’t felt in a long time. I fell right in line with my cocommentators, like this was a job I was made to do.

  Chapter Twenty

  TY

  The moment I stepped into my hotel room, I wanted to do a face plant on the bed. I was fucking exhausted. Trying to keep a smile on my face, thinking about everything we were talking about, and attempting to remember not to swear on live TV had worn me the hell out.

  My phone buzzed, and I reached into my pocket for it. It was a text from my mother.

  Mom: You looked so handsome. We all loved seeing you on TV. You for sure take after me. Sprinkle in some of your daddy’s good looks, of course.

  I smiled, typed out a reply of thanks, and then tossed my phone to the side, rolled over, and stared at the ceiling. An image of Kaylee popped into my mind, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she had watched as well.

  Sitting up, I reached for my phone again.

  Me: We? Was there some sort of watch party?

  The little dots started to bounce on the screen as my mother typed out her reply.

  Mom: Everyone was here, except of course for Tanner. He’s riding in Colorado Springs tonight, but he said he would try and catch the highlights.

  I laughed.

  Me: Brock and Lincoln there?

  Mom: Yes, and Kaylee came with them.

  And there it was. The answer I had been looking for.

  Me: Thanks for all the support, Mom. Was Kaylee with Channing?

  I stared at the blue arrow, trying to decide if I wanted to send that message or not. What the fuck did I care if Channing was with Kaylee? I didn’t. I hit the delete button and stopped at Mom before hitting send.

  Then my phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize.

  “Hello?”

  “Ty, it’s Rachel. I got your number from Melissa.”

  “Hey, what’s going on?”

  “Well, Melissa mentioned you coming to the party tonight. I thought maybe we could go together.”

  This had bad idea written all over it.

  My phone went off with another text. When I pulled it back to see who had texted me, my heart immediately dropped to the floor.

  Kaylee: Are you free to talk?

  “Ty? Are you still there?”

  Rachel’s voice pulled me out of the fog I’d been pushed into with just a damn text message.

  “Yeah, I’m still here. Sure, we can go together. I’ll meet you down in the lobby. Sound good?”

  “Sounds perfect. See you in a few.”

  I hit end and stared at the text. My hand started to shake as I went to reply, and that pissed me off. I dropped the phone onto the bed, opened my suitcase, and changed clothes. Really, all I did was take off the button-down shirt and replace it with a T-shirt.

  I thought back to the last time I’d been with Rachel. Her hotel room, the night before my last ride. We’d fucked until around midnight; then I’d gotten dressed and left. Before I walked out the door, she’d told me she wanted something more, and I told her we’d talk about it after the invitation was over.

  We never got the chance to talk about it, and honestly, I wasn’t interested in anything with her other than casual sex. When she’d called me after the accident, I’d sent her calls to voice mail. It took four months of me ignoring her calls before she finally stopped calling.

  It had been a dick move, but I hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone who had anything to do with the PBR. Including the girl I fucked occasionally. We’d never been exclusive, and she knew that. Hell, she’d even dated a few guys while she was hooking up with me. And when she’d mentioned wanting something more, I’d known in my heart I hadn’t wanted that with her. She was good in bed, a stress relief. A way to relax, and that was it. That was all I’d needed at the time.

  Looking down at my phone, I took in a deep breath. Questioning what I needed in my life right now. I reached for it and pulled up Kaylee’s text.

  Me: Is it important? I’m about to go out.

  The moment after I sent it, I regretted it. What a dick.

  It took her a few minutes to reply, and when she did, it threw me, and it would fucking drive me crazy for the rest of the damn night.

  Kaylee: It was, but it’s been taken care of.

  Damn it all to hell.

  Rachel informed me the party was being held at someone’s house.

  “I thought it was at the hotel. A birthday party or something. Wasn’t it?”

  She simply smiled, then gave me a sexy wink. “Maybe we can have some fun. Like old times.”

  I laughed. “I don’t think so.”

  She gave me a fake pout, then looked down at her phone. We pulled up a few houses down, and I parked my truck behind a bunch of other cars. When we walked into the living room, Rachel grabbed my hand, trying to lace her fingers with mine. I pulled my hand away. There was no way I was going to give anyone the idea I was with her. As a matter of fact, my coming to the party with her was probably a bad idea. Not very many people knew we’d slept together, and I wanted to keep it that way.

  We walked farther in, and there wasn’t a single person there I recognized from today. Not one.

  I looked down at the coffee table. A few lines of cocaine were laid out, one girl snorting as a guy looked on.

  Fuck.

  “Drugs?” I asked, looking at Rachel.

  She shrugged. “I’m not into that scene—only a few are—but if you want a hit, go for it. They’ve got some pills usually too. If you want to experiment, I’m all for having some sex while high.”

  My heart raced in my chest as we walked into the kitchen. The familiar sight of people wasted and high on drugs made my skin crawl. A small bag of pills sat on the counter, instantly making my entire body break out into a sweat.

  “Not interested, Rachel. Like I told you in the truck, I’m not going to have sex with you.”

  She pouted again, then laughed.

  “This isn’t the birthday party for the camera guy at CBS, is it?”

  With a shake of her head, she replied, “Nope. I thought we could have more fun at this party. No one to see us, if you know what I mean.”

  I groaned and rubbed the back of my neck. “Rachel, I’m not into this scene, and I’m no longer into you.”

  She stared at me with a hurt expression, then smiled. “You say that now, Ty.” Her eyes looked past me, and I glanced over my shoulder to see some guy looking directly at her.

  Turning back to her, I asked, “Your latest fuck buddy?”

  With a nod, she lifted up on her toes and put her mouth to my ear. “Want to watch us fuck?”

  I jerked my head back in surprise. “What in the hell? No, I don’t want to watch you fuck some guy. Listen, this isn’t my scene. I’m leaving and heading back to the hotel. Do you want to come?”

  “Yes, I’d love to come. If I remember right, you were good at that.”

  “I’m out of here.”

  She grabbed my arm. “Oh my gosh, Ty, get over yourself. Pop a pill and relax if you need to. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.” She looked at the other guy and laughed. “Make it thirty.”

  Rachel walked toward the guy but went past him. He waited a good minute before he went up the same stairs Rachel had.

  I scrubbed my hands down my face and took another look at the pills. Swallowing hard, I tried to ignore that it felt like the room was caving in on me. The air felt heavy, and I struggled to get my heartbeat under control. A sweat broke out on my neck, and I had to focus on my breathing.

  Fucking hell. How had I gotten myself into this situation? I needed to get the hell out of there, and fast.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out.

  Kaylee.

  I quickly turned and walked back through the living room, ignoring everyone as I rushed to the front door and down the steps of the porch. The cold spring air felt good as it rushed into my lungs.

  Answering the phone, I said, “Kaylee, is everything ok
ay?”

  “What? Ty, this is Rich. Listen, don’t go to that party with Rachel. It’s not the same party Melissa invited you to. They’re at the hotel, celebrating Bob Jenkins’s birthday. Melissa told me Rachel was taking you somewhere else. Rumor has it she’s wrapped up in a different crowd, if you know what I mean.”

  It took me a second to realize it wasn’t Kaylee calling. I had no idea why I’d even thought it was her. “Yeah, I just saw it firsthand. I think CBS might want to consider finding someone else to take over for Kim while she’s out.”

  “Fuck. Drugs?”

  I started down the block to where I’d parked my truck. “That, among other shit.”

  “What kind of other shit?” Rich asked.

  Sliding into the driver’s seat of my truck, I felt a little bad about leaving Rachel behind, but clearly she was with the guy she was hooking up with now. “Let’s just say she asked me to take part in a threesome.”

  “Dude! You turned it down?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Very funny.”

  “No, seriously, that’s all kinds of messed up.”

  “Yeah, it was. She was going to fuck some guy and wanted me to watch and, I’m sure, join in at some point.”

  Rich remained silent on the other end of the phone.

  “Rich?”

  “Yeah, I’m here. Just figuring out how to tell Kim she needs to find someone new.”

  “Listen, just keep my name out of it. Come up with some other reason why you don’t think Rachel’s the one.”

  “I will, just get your ass back to the hotel.”

  With a laugh, I replied, “I’m already on my way. I’m tired anyway—think I’ll head up to my room.”

  “Hey, before you go, who’s Kaylee? You almost sounded relieved when you thought it was her.”

  “She’s no one. Her last text message to me must have been pulled up, and I’d seen that or something before my phone rang.”

  “Okay, if you say so. Good job tonight. Get some sleep. We’ve got two more nights to go.”

  By the time I got back to the hotel, I’d managed to get my breathing under control. I hadn’t had a single urge to try any of the drugs that were at the party, but I also hadn’t been prepared to get hit with all that shit. Then Kaylee’s cryptic text message kept replaying in my head, driving me even more insane.

  Once I got up to my room, I took a hot shower. After drying off, I wrapped the towel around my waist and sat on the edge of the bed.

  I took my phone off the charger and hit Kaylee’s name. It was late, almost midnight, but I needed to talk to her. The urge to hear her voice was something that both scared me and made me excited.

  “Hello? This is Kaylee’s phone.”

  The air in my lungs felt like it had frozen instantly at the sound of Channing’s voice.

  “Ty?”

  I couldn’t fucking talk. Not a word would form. Nothing.

  “Ty?”

  Finally, a rush of air hit me, causing me to take in a deep breath. “Hey, Channing. Sorry to call so late. I actually called the wrong number. Sorry.”

  “No worries, I think Kaylee—”

  The room felt like it was spinning. Cutting him off, I said, “Listen, I’ve got to go. Take care.”

  I hit end and stared at my phone. Then I turned it off and sat on the bed for what felt like forever. When the room began to feel like it was moving in on me, I stood and quickly got dressed. I knew if I tried to go to sleep, I’d end up waking up sweating, with a racing heart. I wasn’t really in the mood for that shit tonight. What I was in the mood for was to get shit-faced.

  I made my way down the hall, waited for the elevator, and then stepped inside. Two women looked up, both smiling when they saw me.

  “Evening, ladies,” I said, hitting the button for the lobby and tipping my cowboy hat at them.

  “You’re Ty Shaw,” one of them said.

  With a grin, I nodded.

  “Oh my God. I can’t believe it. Ty Shaw!” the other one said, her blonde hair bouncy as she jumped a little and clapped. “I loved watching you ride.”

  Buckle bunnies. A year ago, I’d be punching the elevator button of the floor to my room and going back up, probably with both of them.

  “Thank you,” I said, giving her a wink. She practically melted on the spot.

  “Where are you heading?” the blonde asked, then looked over at her friend. They were both pretty. One blonde. One brunette. Both dressed in jeans, boots, and shirts that showed off their impressive upper bodies.

  “I’m heading to the bar, ladies. I need to get drunk.”

  They both giggled as they each wrapped an arm around mine.

  “What a coincidence—we’re headed there too.”

  I smiled. “Perfect.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  KAYLEE

  “Thank you, Channing. I had no idea what to do. I tried calling Brock, Stella, and then Ty. I couldn’t get any of them to answer the phone.”

  He laughed. “It’s fine. I’m just glad I heard the call come over and was able to take it.”

  I smiled. “Me too. When I saw that cow with a calf coming out of her back end, I freaked. Probably not the best thing to do, calling 911.”

  Channing laughed again as he tossed his bag into the back of the truck he’d driven over from the fire station. “I was getting off shift, so it really wasn’t a big deal. Plus, by the time I got here, you seemed to have things under control. I was impressed when I saw the towels, scissors, and iodine tincture.”

  I gave him a half-hearted laugh. “I googled what to do when a cow is giving birth. As far as the iodine tincture, that was pure luck. I saw it in the tack room. I was relieved to know Mama was going to handle it all just fine.”

  He grinned. “You did great, Kaylee. Thanks for letting me clean up in your house.”

  “Oh gosh, thank you for being here, in case it didn’t go smoothly. I cannot believe I couldn’t reach anyone. I guess they all turn off their phones before bed.”

  “Hey, before I forget, Ty called your phone a few minutes ago. I knew you’d been trying to reach him, and with it being so late, I figured you wanted to talk to him.”

  My stomach lurched. “You answered my phone?”

  He frowned slightly. “Um, yeah. I’m sorry. I was going to bring the phone out here, but he cut me off, said he’d dialed the wrong number.”

  I was positive Channing could hear my heart now, pounding in my chest. What would Ty think of Channing answering my phone so late at night?

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  I had never wanted to slap a man so hard in my entire life. What in the world would possess him to answer my phone?

  Channing stared at me for a moment before he sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry if I did something wrong.”

  I forced a smile. “No, it’s fine, just maybe next time don’t be going and answering other people’s phones.”

  He laughed like I was joking. There was something in his eyes, though, that told me Channing had known exactly what he was doing. He’d wanted Ty to know he was here.

  “Thank you again, Channing, for coming over.”

  “Sure. I’ll see you around? Maybe we can grab some coffee or something?”

  “I’ll see you around. Thanks again.”

  I purposely avoided answering his coffee question. Channing started the truck and took off. As he drove down the drive, another truck pulled in. Brock parked and got out. He looked over his shoulder at the retreating truck, then back at me.

  “Hey, I take it you got my panicked message.”

  Brock laughed. “I did. Took everything I could do to convince Lincoln we didn’t need to wake up the kids and all drive over here. That I could handle it.”

  I chuckled.

  Brock looked back at the taillights in the distance. “Was that Channing?”

  “It was. I freaked out when I couldn’t reach any of y’all, and I called 911. Channing heard it come over the radio and called in that he w
as getting off of his shift and would come by. Of course, after I made the call, I calmed down and figured out what needed to be done. Channing was here, though, in case a problem occurred, which didn’t happen. Mom and baby are fine—they’re in the barn.”

  Brock followed me to the barn. I stood off to the side as he checked out the calf and praised the mama.

  “How in the world did you get over here, Mama?” he asked, rubbing his hands over her gently.

  “I looked the best I could with a flashlight to see if there was a hole in the fence anywhere. I couldn’t find one.”

  “She isn’t one of ours. Must be from the Wickers’ ranch on the other side of you. I’ll give them a call in the morning.”

  I nodded, then asked, “How do you know she’s not one of yours?”

  He pointed to the tag in her ear. “Not our tag.”

  I looked closer. “Well, hell, you mean those aren’t just pretty little cow earrings?”

  With a chuckle, he replied, “No. They’re like identification. Tells us everything about the cow.”

  “I guess I should learn more about the cattle business.”

  Brock flashed me a smile and then a wink. “You should. My father would be in his glory.”

  Wrapping my arms around myself, I shivered. “Is it going to be warm enough out here for them?”

  “Oh, yeah, they’ll be fine. I’ll stop by in the morning to check on them.”

  “Sounds good.”

  I walked next to Brock as we made our way to his truck. “Brock, may I ask you something?”

  “Sure, Kaylee, you can ask me anything.”

  Chewing on my lip, I let out a deep breath. “Do you and your folks blame me for Ty leaving?”

  His eyes widened in shock. “Blame you? Kaylee, why in the world would we blame you?”

  One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “I don’t know, because I’m pretty sure it was something I said to Ty that pushed him into making his decision.”

  “Ty’s an adult; he makes his own choices.”

  I nodded, then looked up at him. “I love him, Brock.”

  A slow smile spread over his face. “I know you do, Kaylee.”

  “I don’t know what to do. I know Ty is lost in a part of himself that he thinks he can’t show to anyone. A vulnerable side of him that he tries desperately to hide. He thinks for some stupid reason he’s not good enough for me. But I don’t think it’s just that; I think he’s afraid I’ll somehow hurt him, or maybe that he’ll hurt me. I know he still struggles with the fear of being lost to drugs again. But that doesn’t scare me, Brock. I would never leave him, or doubt his strength to fight for anything. What scares me is the idea of him not being in my life.”