“There’s something else,” Suze confessed, worrying her lower lip with her teeth. “Last month, before I knew I was pregnant, my team and I responded to a fuel spill. I wore a respirator and the tests the doc at my base ran indicated no toxicity in my lungs or blood gases. But...” She chewed on her lip again, harder. “I thought you should know.”
“Well...” Terry tapped his pen against the lab report. “I’m going to level with you. If you do miscarry, there’s nothing we can do for you here in the ER. Nature will take its course. But if it does happen, you’re in the right place. We’ll watch to make sure you don’t hemorrhage.”
He hesitated just a second too long. The color drained from Suze’s cheeks, and Gabe went still.
“There was something that popped up on the ultrasound. Nothing involving the baby,” he said swiftly. “Just an anomaly we need to scope out.”
“What kind of anomaly?”
“It’s called a uterine mass. Could be a cyst. Could be a fibroid. Neither one is anything to worry about, but the radiologist wants another pass at it. So I’m going to admit you to the hospital and order more tests.”
When Suze’s eyes went wide, Gabe saw the incipient panic in their forest-green depths. Saw, too, the iron will that shut it down.
“Thanks, doc,” she said, forcing a calm he knew she was far from feeling. “Run every test in the book. I’d rather err on the side of caution.”
“Same here. I’ll put in the admit order.”
* * *
For the next few hours, Gabe had to throw up a firewall to block his chaotic thoughts from his wife. She was up to her ears in her own vicious stew of guilt and worry. He was damned if he would add to it as he accompanied her to the surgical unit, where a resident performed a needle biopsy on the uterine mass. The fact that they’d have to wait until the next day for the biopsy results only added to their combined stress.
His sister Kathy relieved some of their tension when she showed up at the healthplex several hours before she had to go on duty. She’d talked to Suze’s doc before joining her brother and sister-in-law, and was quick to share what she’d learned.
“Dr. Terry’s still waiting for the biopsy results,” she reported after fierce hugs all around. “He’s pretty convinced the mass is a uterine fibroid, though. A noncancerous growth in the muscle tissue. The technical term is leiomyoma. They’re more common in older women but could certainly cause the bleeding you’ve experienced.”
“Could it have hurt the baby?”
“I doubt it. Not at this stage. But it might crowd the fetus as it grows and presses against the mass. You should probably have it removed.”
“Removed?”
“It can be done laparoscopically. Don’t worry about that right now. Just relax and think happy thoughts. Which,” she added with a wry smile, “is what my loving husband always advises when I’m fat and leaking and ready to take an ax to him for convincing me that we should have one more kid.”
Suze laughed, which was exactly what Kathy had intended. Gabe shot her a grateful smile, then braced himself as the rest of the family followed in waves. Suze’s parents. Gabe’s mom, accompanied by his sister Jill. Penny and her husband and kids. Once Suze got moved to a regular room, Gabe consigned her to their collective care while he took the elevator up two floors to check on Donna Osborne and her son.
* * *
Twenty minutes later, he jabbed the down button. The brief visit had ripped him apart. Hell, the past twenty-four hours had just about shredded him. Needing some time to pull himself together, he exited the elevator and paused by the wall of windows in the family waiting area.
Despite the panorama of rolling, sun-kissed hills outside the window, his thoughts seemed to swirl in a dark vortex. He’d served in combat. Both on the ground and as the operator of an RPV armed with lethal missiles. He knew better than most that death and destruction could come at you without warning, without mercy. Now it had happened to Donna Osborne and her family.
And could happen to his wife!
The impact was searing. Visceral. Wrenching. The sense of having failed both Suze and the Osbornes ate at his gut. As if to counter it, the anger he’d so rigidly suppressed earlier slipped its leash.
Suze shouldn’t have climbed aboard that dozer yesterday, dammit! And she should’ve told him about the spotting when she’d first discovered it last night. What the hell did the fact that she’d called Kathy but not him say about the state of their marriage?
The small spark of anger gathered heat. Hadn’t they learned their lesson the first time around? Yet here they were, married again for all of three days, and already the lines of communication had fractured. Despite everything else going on—the wedding, the parade, the fire—she could have, should have called him.
He wanted to put one of his fists through the wall. He settled for jamming them in his pockets. Then he dragged in several long breaths and unlocked his jaw. This sure as hell wasn’t the time or the place for could’ve, should’ve. His only priority right now was to be here for his wife.
* * *
Suze’s parents were the last of the family to leave their daughter’s spacious hospital room.
“You just rest.” Mary leaned over the bed to kiss her cheek. “Hard to do in a hospital, I know, but try.”
“I will.”
“And you...” She wagged a stern finger at Gabe. “Call us when you know the test results. Whatever and whenever you hear.”
“Will do.”
When they left a silence settled over the room, broken only by the beep of a monitor from across the hall. Suze welcomed the unaccustomed quiet but roused after a few moments to tell Gabe he should go home, too.
“You need to go let Doofus out and feed him. Feed yourself, too.”
“Penny’s husband said he’d take care of the mutt.” He dragged a chair over closer to the bed and reached for her hand. “I’ll grab something at the cafeteria when they bring your supper.”
Suze lay there, her fingers twined loosely with his. Despite the contact, she sensed a subtle withdrawal, as if he’d pulled into himself.
Or not. She had so much going on inside her own head she couldn’t seem to get over the storm of emotions that had racked her since she hit the ladies’ room at Braum’s. The storm had wrung her out. She was so tired. So drained. The adrenaline that had pumped through her yesterday was a distant memory. All she had left now was a small, steely core that refused to give way to panic.
Her glance drifted to the window with its view of the parking lot below and the hills beyond. Then to Gabe. His head was bowed, his gaze on their loosely clasped hands. He was in the jeans and blue knit polo shirt he must’ve worn to his meeting with the state inspectors this morning. The shirt still looked trim and neat, but the face above it showed the effects of a long night and its aftermath. The white squint lines at the corners of his hazel eyes cut deep grooves. Those bracketing his mouth looked permanently etched.
He couldn’t have slept more than a few hours last night. Although he slouched in the chair with his usual careless grace, his shoulders had a tired slump to them Suze couldn’t remember seeing before. And even as she watched, his eyes closed for a brief moment.
“Gabe,” she said quietly. “Go home.”
He blinked awake instantly. “Not gonna happen, babe.”
“I know you must have a stack of incident reports to review. Calls you should make. Go do what you need to do, then get some sleep. I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t need to do anything or be anywhere or talk to anyone except you.”
She sighed and let the silence spin out for another few moments.
“I guess...” She tried to keep the tremor out of her voice but couldn’t quite get there. “I guess we should talk what-ifs.”
What if she lost the baby? What if their primary impetus for reconnecting disappeared? What if Gabe quit his job, resigned as mayor, moved to Arizona and hated being her military dependent when he’d previ
ously been active duty himself. What if...?
He jerked forward, his fingers going tight on hers, and his fierce retort cut off her incipient panic. “No what-ifs. I’m not ready to play that game and you’re in no condition to. Let’s just take whatever happens a step at a time.”
She couldn’t help it. Her throat clogged. Tears burned behind her lids. Her nose got drippy. Sucking air up it, she glared at him.
“Damn these hormones! I can sure understand where Kathy was coming from.”
Something flickered in his eyes at the mention of his sister, quickly came and quickly went.
“Better watch out,” Suze threatened, only half in jest, “or I’ll take an ax to you for turning me into this snuffling, sniffly bundle of stupid.”
“You, wife, are as far from stupid as any woman I’ve ever known.”
It sounded like a compliment. The words certainly stroked her. But was there a faint edge to his voice? Suze cocked her head, unsure.
Gabe must have sensed her puzzlement. He responded to it with a little shake of his shoulders and pushed out of his chair. “But just to be sure you don’t act on any homicidal impulses...” He heeled off his shoes. “Scoot over.”
“Gabe! You can’t crawl in with me.”
“Why not? It’s not like you’re hooked up to anything vital.”
“True, but...”
“Scoot over.”
Oh, God! She needed his arms around her. Needed his breath warm against her temple and his fierce assurance that all would be right with the world. Still snuffling, she scooted over.
* * *
She woke with a start when a white-coated physician rapped lightly on the door to her room. Blinking, she tried to guess what time it was. Late, she realized with a glance at the now-dark windows. Very late, she surmised when she squinted at the dinner sitting congealed under transparent plastic domes on her bedside tray.
She hadn’t heard the food service folks deliver the dinner tray. Hadn’t heard any of the nurses who must’ve checked on her in the hours since she’d crashed. But Gabe’s murmured “We’ve got company,” prodded her to semi-wakefulness.
“Huh?”
“We’ve got company.”
She blinked awake to find a small, slender and obviously amused female physician observing their conjoined status. The doc’s assistant stood behind her, equally amused.
Suze shifted, and Gabe vacated his half of the bed. He raked a hand through his hair, although the dark brown pelt was too short to show either the hours in the sack or any attempt to tame it.
“I’m Doctor Le,” the trim young physician said as she came forward to offer Suze her hand. “I’m the hospital attending. Your case was transferred to me when you were admitted.”
Her glance cut to Gabe. “And you are?”
“Her husband.”
“I was certainly hoping that was the case.” She shifted her attention back to Suze. “I have the results of your biopsy, Captain Hall. Dr. Terry asked me to share them with you as soon as they came. Is it okay with you if we discuss them in your husband’s presence?”
Suze’s arm snaked out. Gabe gripped her hand again. Harder this time.
“Yes,” she said, her mouth dry.
“The biopsy confirms Dr. Terry’s initial diagnosis. The mass is benign. What we call a uterine fibroid, also known as a...”
“Leiomyoma,” Gabe cut in on a huff of relief.
The doc’s brows rose. “Not many people are familiar with the technical term. Are you in the medical profession?”
“No, but my sister is. Kathy Sheppard. She’s a nurse in the...”
“Neonatal ICU. I know Kathy. She’s one of our most outstanding nurse practitioners.”
Gabe and Suze exchanged glances. Apparently Kathy was well known in her sphere of operations.
“I’ll tell her you said so,” Gabe responded.
“And you must be the brother she’s always bragging about. The mayor of...?”
“Cedar Creek.”
“Right. Well...”
Suze’s throat went dry, but the doc’s smile worked magic on her sudden and unbelievably vicious attack of nerves.
“The mass is just large enough to press against your uterus. Your baby must have squeezed it, which is what caused the bleeding. I don’t see any cause for alarm yet, but your OB/GYN needs to watch it.”
“Is the baby okay?”
“Looks fine. I’ll make sure you get copies of the lab report to take to your OB. Is he or she local?”
“No. I’m active duty, stationed at Luke Air Force Base in Arizona.”
“A hard copy it is, then. In the meantime...” Her smile kicked up another notch. “Just relax and go back to whatever you were doing. We’ll keep an eye on you tonight, Ms. Hall, but we’ll probably send you home tomorrow.”
When the door swished shut behind her and her PA, Suze collapsed against the pillows. To her profound disgust, a new rush of tears burned her lids.
“This is ridiculous.” Thoroughly irritated, she scrubbed the back of her hand across her eyes. “How the heck am I supposed to command the respect of my troops if I go all female and weepy at the drop of a hat?”
“Jeez! We just got terrific news. You’re entitled to go all weepy.” Gabe gave a rueful laugh. “I’m a little soggy myself.”
He was!
Biting her lip, Suze tried to remember another time when her husband’s emotions had been pared down to the nub. He hadn’t cried when his dad died, she recalled. Not in front of her, anyway. His mom and sisters had gone through several boxes of Kleenex at the funeral but Gabe had sat like a stone.
And he’d acted anything but maudlin at their wedding. Their first wedding, she amended. Her folks had shredded the Kleenex that time, but Gabe had grinned through the entire ceremony. Which made the way he dropped his chin to his chest and stared at the floor for several stark moments all the more poignant.
“Gabe,” she said quietly. “Go home now. Fix something to eat, then crash. One of us, at least, should get a good night’s rest.”
He resisted but eventually yielded. Before leaving, though, he called her folks to share the biopsy results. Relieved and happy, they promised to swing by first thing in the morning. Suze tried to dissuade them but they silenced her protest with a promise of homemade cinnamon-raisin rolls.
“I’ll be here for that, too,” Gabe said with smile as he bent to kiss her goodbye. “See you in the morning.”
“Let’s just hope it’s considerably less eventful than today’s.”
She was thinking of all that had happened in the space of twelve hours when she remembered the call from Dave Forrester.
“Gabe?”
She caught him halfway to the door. He turned, a question in his tired eyes.
“Yeah?”
“Did you know Colonel Amistad wanted to talk to me about a civil engineering vacancy coming up at the 137th?”
“He mentioned something about a vacancy at the parade. I assumed that was part of the reason he invited us to meet with him.”
“You didn’t tell me that.”
“Didn’t I?”
He looked at her with an expression she couldn’t quite interpret, then rolled his shoulders.
“Sorry ’bout that. Guess we both need to work on our communication skills. See you in the morning.”
Chapter Eleven
Once visiting hours were over, the hospital entered that twilight world of dimmed lights and hushed voices where even the night crew’s rubber-soled shoes sounded like bats squeaking in the corridors.
Kathy came by when her shift ended. She’d already tapped the nurses on Suze’s floor for the biopsy results and endorsed Dr. Le’s recommendation that her sister-in-law follow up with her OB when she got back to Arizona. She’d also brought some clean underwear and a pair of turquoise scrubs decorated with teddy bears for Suze change into.
“More comfortable to sleep in than that gown.”
“Thanks, Kath.” Suz
e poked her head through the V-neck top. “For the scrubs and for being so supportive about Gabe and me getting back together. I know you were pretty pissed at me after the divorce.”
Her sister-in-law acknowledged that with a unapologetic nod. “I thought you put your career ahead of your husband.”
“You don’t think I’m still doing that by letting Gabe give up his job and move back to Arizona with me?”
Kathy didn’t reply for several moments. When she did, Suze caught a glimpse of pain in the hazel eyes so like her brother’s.
“I’ve learned the hard way not to judge what goes on in anyone else’s marriage. Don and I... Well, we’ve had some problems.” She shook her head, as if to rid it of bad memories, and resumed her usual, brisk manner. “We’re working through them, though, just like you and Gabe have had to work through yours. So you guys do whatever’s right for the two of you, and to hell with what anyone else thinks.”
Surprised and grateful, Suze returned her hug and thanked her again for the scrubs and the encouragement.
When Kathy left, Suze tried to rest. After the emotional upheaval of the day, she should’ve folded like a floppy-brimmed boonie hat. Instead she was restless and too wired to even doze.
The long nap with Gabe probably accounted for part of that restlessness. She picked up her cell phone but a glance at the clock showed it was almost ten, so she decided not to call. Hopefully, Gabe was already in bed and zoned out. She, on the other hand, had to get up and pee. Again.
Once up, she decided to wander down to the nurses’ station in search of conversation and comfort food. The two females and one male on duty supplied her with both.
“I read about you in the paper,” one of the nurses related. “I’d guess not many women get a Bronze Star.”
“More than you think these days. Women account for close to twenty percent of Air Force, not quite as much in other branches of the service. They’re pulling combat tours right alongside their male counterparts.”
“My brother’s a Marine,” she volunteered. “He’s with the 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force in Kandahar.”
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