Chapter Fifteen
Raven stared at her naked reflection in the steam-streaked mirror. She traced her fingers over the gashes in her skin, wincing at the contact. The claw marks were healing, but they remained puffy, red, and swollen at the site of impact. She leaned forward, holding her weight on the counter after becoming lightheaded from the wave of pain and nausea that swept through her when she examined her wound.
After her vision cleared, she shuffled to her suitcase and gathered a few medical supplies. She pulled a gauze pad out and ripped the wrapper open, gently covering the gashes with the sterile material. She placed a few pieces of tape along the edges to secure it in place. She grabbed her almost threadbare Def Leppard shirt from her bag and carefully slipped it over her head, vigilant not to pull the gauze off with her movements. She sat on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair. The water droplets that fell from the tips of her locks and onto her neck helped cool the heat beginning to creep up her body from her efforts.
She picked up her phone off the nightstand and opened the notifications. I miss you so much, with a heart emoji. She had texted Hazel before she forced herself into the shower, not wanting her to worry, or worse, try to use her witchy powers to see what she was doing. She wasn’t sure if Hazel had those capabilities or not, but she didn’t want to take the chance. She read the message over and over again. The simplicity in the statement warmed Raven’s chest. Hazel missed her. Her thumbs hovered over the keyboard, trying to decide how to respond. She wanted to tell her that she missed her, too, that she’d thought about her every moment since they’d been apart. She wanted to tell her that when she was slipping into what she thought might be her final moments, Hazel was all she could think about. She stared down at the winking emoji that was coyly blowing a kiss and pushed the button, sending it into the text box. She only allowed herself a fleeting second to think about her soul not belonging to her. She pushed send before she could talk herself out of it. She shrugged and put the phone back onto the nightstand. It’s just an emoji; don’t overthink it.
She got the map of Roanoke from her bag, opened it, and smoothed it out on her bed. She needed to tell Morgan about the brand she saw on the hellhound, but she needed a little more information first. Raven took the necklace from around her neck and hung it over the map. She took several deep breaths and focused on the demons she needed to locate. The small stone spun in a large circle but didn’t slow. She shook her head and tried to refocus her thoughts. Again, after several deep breaths, she tried to clear her mind. Nothing.
Raven didn’t understand what she was doing wrong. Sitting for a few minutes, she racked her brain as to whether or not she was missing a step in the location process. Then a thought occurred to her. No, that’s not possible. She picked up the necklace again and focused on dark magic. Even as the thought passed through her psyche, she felt goose bumps crawl up her arms. The stone at the end of her necklace began to spin a little faster until halting altogether. She looked down at the map. The address was only a few miles from her motel. She heard ringing in her ears and closed her eyes, trying to force the foreboding thoughts from her mind. She wasn’t dealing with demons at all; she was dealing with dark witchcraft. Fuck.
She needed to get eyes on them, find out what they were plotting. At the very least, she had to get to the bottom of the Blaise issue. Raven didn’t think it would be possible that he was still alive. It was probably some hoax these three morons were trying to pull to make themselves seem more powerful than they really were.
She stood to leave when the pain in her side forced her back onto the bed. She gritted her teeth, the desire to find the dark witches nagging at her, egging her to move forward and ignore the pain. She withdrew one of the blades from her bag and inspected it, giving herself a minute to think. If these three were who she thought they were and they discovered her there, spying on them, she wouldn’t be able to protect herself in her current condition. She lifted her shirt and pulled open the gauze. The wound would be healed by morning. She cursed under her breath and tossed the knife back into her bag. Ten hours. In ten hours, she could go find them and hopefully get some answers to her questions.
She shot Morgan off a quick text. Found them. Let you know more tomorrow. Sure, she left out major pieces of information, but there was no reason to alarm Morgan. The mention of dark witchcraft would send Morgan into a fit of rage, and if she added in the other part about someone pretending to be Blaise, Morgan would be downright apocalyptic. Raven figured she was doing everyone a favor at this point.
The response from Morgan was almost immediate. Looking forward to hearing all about it. Raven grunted a laugh and shook her head. She could hear Morgan’s seductive purr even through text message.
She leaned back against the bed and opened her contacts. She scrolled until she found Hazel and stared at the name. She wanted to hear her voice, to know how her training was going. She just wanted to feel connected to something, even if it was only temporary. She pushed the name and held the phone up to her ear.
Hazel answered on the second ring. “Hey, there.”
Raven smiled. “Hey. How was your day?”
She heard Hazel moving around. “Did you know Athena is real?”
Raven traced circles on her leg with her thumb. “Ah, Morgan brought in the big guns for your training.”
“She’s, like, a real-life person,” Hazel whispered.
“I think she prefers the term goddess, but yeah, it’s a lot to take in. How are you holding up?” Raven smiled when she heard Hazel blow out a long breath.
“Let’s see, Ayotunde can compel people or things into movement, Sarah has telekinetic abilities, and I can control the weather. So, you know, just another day.” Hazel let out a nervous laugh.
“You’re also psychic. All the most powerful witches are. You can sense, and if need be, control people’s emotions. I’ve only ever known Morgan to be capable, but you have it, too.”
Hazel was quiet for a minute before she continued. “How do you know that?”
Raven lazily rubbed her arm. “Because you’ve done it to me. You’ve calmed me when I needed it. Granted, I’m more sensitive to your power because I’m a shadowhunter, but believe me, it’s there. Give yourself some time. You’ll figure it out.”
Hazel took a deep breath. “I could go on and on about how overwhelming all this is, how I feel completely out of my depth, and how scared I am of how much this will change my life. But I really want to know how your trip has been so far. Find anything interesting? I miss you.”
Raven leaned her head back against the headboard. She felt compelled to tell Hazel everything and desperately fought against that instinct. “I’ll know more tomorrow.” She closed her eyes after she said it, willing herself not to tell more.
“You’re in pain.” It was a statement, not a question.
“I’ll be okay,” Raven answered.
“My abilities, can I take your pain away from this far? Is that how they work?”
“I’m not sure,” Raven said. “It’s hard to say how powerful you are. You’re still learning.”
“Can I try?” Hazel’s voice was soft and careful.
The thought of allowing Hazel to sense her physical pain, much less her emotions, was a rather terrifying premise, but the more control Hazel had over her powers, the better off they’d all be. “Sure.” She let out a long breath. The other line of the phone went quiet except for Hazel’s deep breathing, and Raven found herself mimicking her breathing patterns.
“The pain is near your rib cage.” Hazel’s voice was husky as if she’d just woken up from a long nap. “It’s deep, but it’s healing.”
“Yes.”
Raven’s body became warm, the feeling of a summer day creeping up from her legs through her neck. She could smell the lingering aroma of the beach: warm saltwater with a mix of sunscreen and fresh waffle cones. She felt the smile start on her face when she heard the waves lapping against the sand and children laughing in
the background. She wiggled her toes as she felt wet sand begin to swallow her feet.
“Raven?” Hazel sounded far away.
Raven turned her hands over as she felt the sun warm her skin and the breeze from the ocean kiss her face. “Hmm.”
“Raven, are you okay? Did it work?” Hazel’s voice was louder now, as if she was getting closer.
Raven was dropped back into reality. She was alone in her motel room, and the alarm clock that sat next to the bed was making the same low and annoying hum it had been since she’d arrived. There was no sunshine, no ocean, no smells of summer. She took a second to swallow the disappointment that filled her throat.
“Yeah, I’m here.” Raven gingerly touched her side and was surprised to discover it no longer throbbed with pain.
“It worked?” Hazel asked, but her voice indicated she already knew the answer.
“I’ve never felt so completely engulfed in a projection like that before. How did you do it?” Raven didn’t say what she really wanted, to be sent back.
“I focused on finding your happiest place, wherever it’s buried in your mind, and sending you there.” Hazel seemed almost embarrassed by the revelation. “I’m not really sure of what I’m doing. Sorry if I crossed a line.”
“Could you see it, too? Could you feel it?” Raven wasn’t upset that Hazel had been able to tap into her. She wanted to know they’d shared it together.
“Yes. I just wasn’t sure if I was the only one who could see it. Where were we?”
Raven let her body cascade down the headboard a bit farther. “A beach I used to go to as a kid. I spent the best summers of my life there before everything changed.”
“Before what changed?” Hazel’s voice was filled with compassion and concern.
Raven picked at the loose threads coming off the comforter. “My parents used to take me to the beach for three weeks every summer. I’d play in the sand or walk along the boardwalk from the very first glimmers of daylight until my parents would force me back home for dinner and bed. Those days were filled with laughter, sunscreen, and the ocean. I could smell and taste it all again, just now.”
“Why did you stop going?” Hazel’s question was tentative.
Raven pinched the bridge of her nose, an attempt to keep the memories from escaping her eyes in the form of tears. “They went out for a date when I was eight years old and never came back. They were killed in a car accident. I went to live with my uncle after that.” She tried to laugh to keep from crying. “He wasn’t what you’d call conventional, but he loves me, and he’s all I have.”
“He’s a shadowhunter, too?”
Raven crossed her arms, a pointless attempt to shield herself from the memories of her parents and her lost childhood. “Yes. I’d have to go with him when Morgan sent him out on little missions. At first, I’d stay in the motel room, but when I was about twelve, he let me go with him. I’ve been chasing demons around ever since.” She cleared her throat, realizing that her words made her uncle seem neglectful and reckless. “I did graduate high school. My uncle homeschooled me, and I actually graduated early. I know this seems odd to people, but my uncle loves me and would do anything for me.”
“And where is he now?” Hazel asked.
Raven traced the tattoo on her arm. She followed the lines of the pentagram down to the tips of the knives. “He was attacked by a very powerful demon. Morgan saved him. I took over his mantle to keep him alive. He’s in suspended animation, healing.”
Hazel was quiet for a long moment before she spoke. “I want to ask you something, but I don’t want to upset you. Please understand that this just comes from a place of concern and care for you.”
“Okay,” Raven said.
“What happens when he’s healed? Will Morgan let you go? Is that what you want?”
Raven knew this question was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier to say out loud. “There can only be one shadowhunter. Those are the rules. My uncle is almost fifty. He can’t sustain this lifestyle anymore. When Morgan deems him fit, she’ll bring him back, and he can retire. Granted, he won’t remember any of this life. Morgan will fill his head with false memories. He’ll think he worked for the phone company or something like that. But he’ll be alive. He’ll be released from the curse and hopefully, find a nice woman, settle down, travel some.”
Hazel gasped. “And what about you?”
Raven shook her head. “What about me? I’m saddled with the Dare curse. It has to be one of us until there are none left.”
“Aren’t you lonely? Don’t you want a life of your own?” Hazel sounded as if she was going to cry.
Raven closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m the last in my family line. It brings me comfort to know the family curse will end with me.”
Hazel’s voice was soft and comforting. “Just because something has always been done a certain way doesn’t make it the right way. You can choose how your life ends up. Don’t resign yourself to these circumstances because you never imagined anything more was possible.”
Raven sat up in bed, feeling defensive. “You’ve been aware of the realms for like ten seconds. You have no idea the power these curses wield and the finality of all of it.” She knew her anger was misplaced, but she couldn’t stop herself. “You have the blood of the most powerful witch who has ever lived coursing through your veins. You have no idea what it’s like to be me, to be trapped. So please, Hazel, save your hopes and dreams speeches for someone who hasn’t spent their lifetime on the receiving end of this bullshit.”
“Raven, I—”
Raven cut her off. “I have to go. Big day tomorrow. I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up before Hazel had the chance to say anything else.
Raven got out of bed and started pacing. Who did Hazel think she was? Lobbing out unobtainable possibilities tied to determining your own fate and bucking the system. She didn’t understand the ancient forces she was dealing with, and she never would. Even if Hazel mastered her craft, she still wouldn’t get it because her place in the realms would always be superior to Raven’s.
She stalked into the bathroom and flipped on the light. She steadied herself against the countertop and pressed her fingertips in to the cold hard surface. Glaring at her reflection, she grew angrier when she recognized her mother’s eyes, her father’s nose, and scars from a life her uncle had brought her into. The suffering and rage singed her skin while the loneliness bored a hole deeper into the pit of her stomach. She stared harder into her own eyes as the tears started to form, pooling at her lids. Finally, she let out a scream as she sank onto the floor.
It didn’t matter how many demons she succeeded in banishing to Hell. She’d never chase down the ones that lived in her memories and clawed at her mind.
* * *
Hazel tossed the phone down on the bed and covered her face. Shit. She’d pushed Raven too far, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to fully get her back. Her intention hadn’t been to harm but to shine light on a path she might not have considered before. She thought briefly about calling her back but changed her mind. Hazel wasn’t sure if she’d do more harm by trying to push.
She walked to the closet and pulled out her family grimoire. She was still amazed by the way the pages came to life as her fingers traced the old paper. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for but knew she was searching for a way to help Raven. Surely, there had to be something in this old book that could release Raven from this ridiculous curse.
As if Morgan knew what she was doing, she appeared in her room. “Anything I can help with?”
Hazel almost fell off the bed. “Jesus, do you ever use the door?”
Morgan waved her hand. “No.” Her slight smile showed her amusement.
Hazel didn’t want to tell Morgan what she was looking for but thought better than to lie. She didn’t understand Morgan’s full range of capabilities and figured she might as well answer a question that Morgan probably already knew the answer to. “I’m try
ing to find a spell to release Raven from this ridiculous curse.”
“Is that what Raven wants, to be released?” Morgan cocked an eyebrow.
“How could she not?”
Morgan pushed a strand of hair out of Hazel’s eyes and smiled at her. “I’m all Raven knows. This life, it gives her purpose. What would you have her do if she wasn’t chasing down demons?”
Hazel felt Morgan trying to sneak into her subconscious and pushed back against the effort. “Whatever she wants. It wouldn’t be up to me.”
Morgan leaned back on the bed and crossed her legs. “Rather bold to make decisions for someone, don’t you think?”
Hazel kept flipping through the pages of the grimoire. “Says the woman who cursed an entire family line to servitude.”
Morgan laughed. “Your audacity is impressive. Do you really believe that you know Raven better than I do?”
Hazel tried to suppress her eye roll. “It’s not about knowing her. It’s about what’s right.”
“What’s right for her or for you?” Morgan dragged her finger down the side of Hazel’s face. “I see the way you look at her, the way your eyes fill with lust. I can see how your body reacts when she’s around. It’s so blatant I can smell it on you now.”
Hazel didn’t want to shiver at Morgan’s touch, but her body betrayed her. “What bothers you exactly? How I look at Raven or the way she looks at me?” Hazel was surprised by her words. She hadn’t known everything Morgan could do, but she was pretty sure turning Hazel into a pile of ash or even a frog was well within her capabilities.
Morgan cocked her head and studied her. “I’m not sure if you’re terribly brave or insanely foolish.” She stood and walked toward the door. “Raven may think she wants you, she may even act on a few primitive impulses, but make no mistake, she belongs to me. I’ve known Raven in ways that you sit in your room and fantasize about. I’ve felt her touch on my bare skin and her lips on my neck. I’ve felt her body tremble from an orgasm so intense, no mortal has ever even imagined, never mind experienced it. You, my dear, may very well turn out to be a tremendously powerful witch, but you will never be me.” She gave a small wave and shut the door behind her.
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