by Lisa De Jong
God, I missed her.
****
I arrived at the office just before eight, trying to ignore the steady increase of pressure in my head. I had so much to do. I couldn’t believe the amount of stress one building could cause.
“Good morning, Lisa.”
“Good morning, Dr. Montgomery.” Her smile was warm.
“Any messages for me this morning?”
“Um...there are a couple here from the answering service.” She searched through the stacks of papers on her desk, digging out the small pile of notes and handing them to me. I tipped her a small nod in thanks and walked into my office.
Sinking into my desk, I checked my appointments for the day before thumbing through the messages. The first two were from the bank.
The last was from Vanessa.
“Shit,” I mumbled under my breath.
That girl had been hounding me for months. I really screwed that one up. I should have known better, but she’d completely caught me off guard.
She was a drug rep from one of the larger pharmaceutical companies, and it was clear she wanted to get her foot in the door. I met her the first week we’d arrived in Chicago. A mixer had been set up to get the word out about the new practice, generating interest and referrals right away.
I knew it the first time I saw her. She was just the same as the rest, looking for an easy way to get ahead and using whatever means she thought would get her what she wanted. She’d sought me out, knowing exactly who I was and what I could do for her. My first instinct was to run. But she was relentless, and I’d had too much to drink.
Nine years before, I’d learned it best to stay away, but there were times when I became weak, tired—tired of being alone—and I’d relent to the small voice in my head that insisted it was okay. Just like last night. Never once had I not regretted it.
The first time had been the worst. Stephanie had been my study partner in college. I’d really believed she was my friend. I’d been naive and allowed her to use my pain as a means to get close to me.
It only happened once, and it was the last time I ever saw Stephanie. I’d been so angry that she’d taken advantage of my vulnerability, angry with myself for being so weak. Later I realized that I’d wanted to believe somebody else could make me feel the same way Melanie had, the complete ecstasy we felt when we were one. But that feeling could not be replicated. Melanie’s body fit mine as if we’d been carved from the same stone, each made for the other.
She could not be replaced.
Knowing that, you’d think I’d be stronger, that I’d run from the regret I’d have after waking up next to a girl I knew I could never love or even care for.
But sometimes experiencing that regret was better than falling asleep alone.
With Vanessa, though, it was different. It hadn’t been about two people giving into their bodies, succumbing to the physical. It was about someone exploiting another’s weakness.
She was a predator, and now the bitch thought I owed her something.
“Shit.” I threw her message down, knowing I couldn’t avoid her any longer.
To top it all off, I had to find a date for dinner Thursday.
I picked up the phone and dialed her number. I knew all she wanted from me was free reign to push her product in my office, as if fucking me somehow had earned her that right, and it pissed me off. But I accepted it as my fault; I knew better than to sleep with a rep.
I prayed it’d go to voicemail, but she picked up on the second ring. “Good morning, this is Vanessa.” Always the professional; it reminded me of the sex, all just part of the job.
“Yeah, Vanessa, it’s Daniel Montgomery...returning your call.” I didn’t even know what to say. The whole situation made me uncomfortable.
“Daniel...I’ve been trying to get in touch with you.” Her voice was low and laced with irritation.
What the hell was I supposed to tell her, that I didn’t want to talk to her and had been avoiding her?
“Uh, well, sorry. I’ve been busy,” I said as if I couldn’t have spared five minutes sometime in the last three months to return her call.
“I really need to meet with you.”
Was I seriously agreeing to this?
“Uh, sure, Vanessa. I have some free time during lunch on Thursday. Can we get together then?” She started to say something, so I cut her off before I lost the nerve. “Listen, I need a favor.” I couldn’t believe I was about to do this. I raked my hand through my hair, hoping the gesture would give me some kind of courage to see this through. “I have a meeting Thursday night and I need to take somebody. Are you free that night?”
I felt like I was selling my soul.
“Are you asking me out after avoiding my phone calls for the last three months?” I couldn’t tell if she was mad or surprised, but it really didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if I actually wanted to go out with her.
I paused before answering. “I guess I am.” Now I did owe her. I’d just given her what she’d set her sights on five months ago.
She paused as if she were struggling to find my intent and then released an audible breath into the phone. “Okay...I can go with you Thursday night, as long as we can meet Thursday for lunch.”
“Fine.”
There was nothing fine about the whole situation, but what was I going to do?
“Can you meet me at Tavalindo’s at noon?” she asked.
“Yeah...I’ll be there.” I hung up the phone and rocked back in my chair, wondering how I got myself into this shit.
****
I glanced at the clock. Noon. I had no appetite, but I had to get out of my small office. I felt caged, irritable.
I passed through the lobby, throwing Lisa a halfhearted wave as I walked out the front door. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my slacks and walked the half-block to my favorite coffee shop just up the street from our temporary office.
I ordered my regular, a large latte with a double shot of espresso, careful not to make eye contact with the brown-haired barista taking my order. She handed me my coffee, and I took a sip of it as I stuffed a couple of bucks in the tip jar and mumbled, “Thanks,” before I hurried outside.
I plopped into a metal chair at a small bistro table sitting on the sidewalk, needing to escape reality for a couple of minutes. Closing my eyes, I raised my face to the sky and allowed my mind to drift in the cool Chicago breeze.
September 1997
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Mom said as I walked into the kitchen. I smiled in her direction where she sat at the small breakfast bar with Dad and Erin.
“Morning.” I yawned and rubbed my face, trying to wake myself up. I filled a bowl with cereal and milk and took my place next to Erin. Dad and Erin were talking about the upcoming school year. Erin was nervous about the two sophomore AP classes she had signed up for, and Mom and Dad were trying to give her encouragement.
I nudged my sister’s shoulder, her blond wavy hair swaying across her back.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I had both of those classes last year. I’ll help you study if you need me to.”
Erin’s face brightened and she nodded. “Thanks, Daniel.”
“No problem.” I grinned at her. Of course I’d help her. I adored her, even if she drove me crazy sometimes.
Dad glanced at his watch and reluctantly stood, draining the last bit of coffee from his mug. “I have to get to the hospital.”
He patted my shoulder, kissed Erin’s head, and stopped to pull Mom up to him. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her hard, making her giggle against his mouth. She swatted him playfully. “Be good.”
Erin grinned at me and rolled her eyes while I screwed up my face in mock disgust.
After Dad left, Mom went upstairs to shower, leaving Erin and me to do the dishes. We chatted a little more about school before Erin’s hazel eyes lit up.
“Oh, there’s a new girl who started working at the coffee shop last night, Melanie Winters. She just moved h
ere from Texas with her dad. I invited her to come over today.” Erin paused before adding in a singsong voice, “And she’s really pretty.”
I narrowed my eyes, knowing where Erin was going with this. She was constantly trying to set me up with someone.
“Not even remotely interested.”
She frowned at me. “You don’t have to be like that all the time. I really like her. Would it kill you to be nice to her?”
It wasn’t like I wasn’t nice to her friends, but I suppose I wasn’t exactly friendly, either. I couldn’t imagine this girl was any different than the rest of them, easy with not a brain cell to her name. No, thank you.
Sure, I dated a bit here and there, but the girls I’d met never held my interest for long. They were all so superficial; all they cared about was how I looked, what I had, and what I could give them. So I didn’t waste my time. It had earned me a reputation of being a dick who thought he was too good for everyone, but I really didn’t care.
With only two years of high school left to prepare for college, I needed perfect grades since I’d finally decided I wanted to become a doctor. Dad never pushed me, but I knew he’d always hoped I’d follow in his footsteps. He said other than seeing his family happy, he’d never found more joy than in helping someone heal.
“Fine. I’ll make an extra effort to say hi to her,” I grumbled.
After helping Mom around the house, I went upstairs to my room to watch TV. I heard a car pull into the driveway and stop in front of the house. A door slammed and then the car drove away. Footsteps echoed on the wooden porch and distant voices seeped into my room.
I shook my head, trying to focus on the football game. I didn’t care what was going on downstairs. I turned up the TV to drown out the sounds from below, but it didn’t help. It was more as if I could feel the footsteps rather than hear them. When the front door opened and closed, I could ignore it no longer.
I slipped from my room and down the hall. When I saw her, I froze at the top of the stairs, unable to take my eyes off the girl standing in the middle of the living room, her intense emerald eyes staring back at me. We stood there for I don’t know how long before I tore my eyes away from hers so I could take in the rest of her. Erin had said she was pretty, but her beauty was beyond words. She had long, brown hair that flowed in soft, thick curls all the way down her back. Her skin was pale and smooth like a porcelain doll. She didn’t have Erin’s hourglass figure, but her slender build was gentle with feminine curves, and she was maybe an inch shorter than Erin’s five-foot eight. She wore tight jeans and an old band T-shirt that was a little snug, accentuating the perfection that was Melanie Winters.
In that moment, I knew I would never be the same.
Erin cleared her throat.
“Um, Melanie, this is my brother, Daniel. Daniel...Melanie.” She gestured between the two of us, but it was unnecessary. I was already on my way down the stairs. It was as if there was a magnet drawing me to her. Even if I had tried, I couldn’t have walked away. I reached for Melanie’s hand, not to shake it but to hold it in mine. The warmth of her skin traveled through my body. It was relaxing, but exciting at the same time.
Melanie looked at our hands, then back to my face and smiled timidly. “Hi.” The sound of her voice sent a shiver rolling through my body.
“Hi.” I smiled back, still unable to look away.
“So, Melanie, are you hungry or anything?” Erin sounded cautious, almost awkward.
Melanie glanced at me, pensive, before slowly withdrawing her hand. “Sure.”
For the first time in my life, I felt empty as I watched her walk away and trail Erin through the door and into the kitchen.
Not quite willing to return to my room, I dropped onto the couch, picked up the remote, and flipped on the game I’d been watching upstairs. Melanie and Erin’s voices carried through the thin barrier of the kitchen door, muted, yet distinct of each other. Erin’s laugh was loud and substantial, while Melanie’s came soft and gentle, though not inhibited or shy. She sounded comfortable. Quietly confident.
It took me about five minutes to decide I was hungry, too.
Silence fell over the kitchen when I stepped in. Melanie and Erin turned to look at me from the small breakfast table where they ate potato chips and drank soda. Melanie’s face spread into a warm smile.
God, she was so beautiful.
I held her gaze for a moment before I shook myself out of it and walked across the kitchen to get something to drink. I could feel her eyes on me as I leaned into the fridge and grabbed a soda, and they met mine when I turned to face her, unfailing as I took two steps toward the door.
I knew I should, but I just couldn’t leave the room.
“Erin.” I looked at my sister, my eyes pleading, hoping she would understand that I was asking her to leave Melanie and me alone.
She did. “I’m supposed to be at work at five. I should get ready.” She stood up, looking awkwardly between Melanie and me. I flashed a thankful smile.
Melanie stood as if she were going to leave.
I almost panicked.
“Can you stay?” My voice came out sounding desperate.
What looked like relief swept over Melanie’s face, and she nodded.
“I’ll see you soon, Melanie?” Erin asked as if she were trying to gauge what Melanie wanted.
She turned to my sister, giving her a hug. “Yeah, I would like that. Thank you for inviting me over.” Her voice was soft and kind, sincere. Erin grinned at us, her eyes glinting with approval and just a little smugness as Melanie stepped to my side.
No doubt, I was going to hear it from my baby sister later.
The door swung closed behind Erin, leaving us alone.
I stood inches from her, staring into the warmth of her green eyes, feeling emotions I’d never felt before.
This time, she reached for me, her hand moving to grasp my index finger.
I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of what was happening between us.
My eyes flickered open to find hers studying my face as if she were memorizing every line.
Holding onto her hand, I led her out of the kitchen and upstairs, sneaking glances back at her to make sure she was real.
We spent the afternoon in my room just getting to know each other.
I learned she was fifteen and would be sixteen in April, ten months younger and a grade behind me.
I hung on her every word as she told me about her childhood, everything she had liked and disliked. I paid attention to what made her frown and what made her smile. I listened as she told me that her parents had divorced when she was young, but since both of her parents had lived within minutes of each other, she had grown up happy with what had felt like one big, extended family. Peggy, her mom, was married to her stepfather Mark and she had a little sister named Sarah.
Melanie had two stepbrothers from her father’s second wife, Cheryl. It was her father’s recent divorce from Cheryl that brought Melanie to Colorado. Steve, Melanie’s father, had taken the divorce hard and he didn’t want to stay in the same city as Cheryl. Melanie had moved with her dad, certain he shouldn’t be alone in such dark times.
Clearly, her family was as important to her as mine was to me.
With a wistful smile, she listened to stories of my childhood, giggling as I told her of the trouble Erin and I used to get into together. She asked me what I liked and what I didn’t like, and I knew she actually cared to know the answers. We talked about school and about how I hoped to become a doctor like my dad.
It was as if we already knew each other; we just needed to fill in the blanks.
We didn’t need to make any declarations.
We just were.
The whole time we talked, we lay facing each other, our hands intertwined.
“Daniel, it’s getting late. I’d better get home before my dad notices.” Melanie stretched, obviously not wanting to leave any more than I wanted her to.
I said, “Okay,” but didn�
�t let her go.
Instead, I scooted closer, gentle as I took her face between my hands. My heart beat so hard, I was sure she could hear it, just as I could hear hers. I stroked her cheeks, hoping she didn’t notice my fingers trembling.
She watched me with anticipation, clearly just as nervous as I was, but I felt no hesitation from her. She leaned in a little closer, and I pressed my lips against hers.
I kissed her softly and slowly for a couple of seconds. My hands found their way into her curls as I pulled her closer. I felt a tremor roll through her body when our tongues first met. Obviously, neither of us was very experienced as the kiss remained slow and tentative, our mouths gently moving together as we learned each other.
Her hands shook as they moved up my arms and onto my face, making their way into my hair and leaving that same trail of warmth I had felt earlier when we first touched. Her fingers created a desire I had never known. I clutched her to me as the kiss became urgent, the need to consume her overwhelming. She kissed me with as much intensity as I showed her, pressing her body into mine. My whole body sang with want for her. As desperately as I wanted to keep going, I knew it was too much, too fast.
I slowed the kiss, bringing my hands back to her face. I rested my forehead against hers and tried to catch my breath.
I looked into her eyes, seeing the emotion there, and I just knew.
I was in love with Melanie Winters.
Chapter Five
“Hey, Katie,” I said, smiling as I climbed into her car.
“Morning, Mel.” She leaned across the console to hug me. “All set?”
“Yep.” As ready as I’d ever be to spend a day shopping with Katie.
I buckled in as Katie threw her silver Camry in drive. She sped back out of my neighborhood and jumped on the highway leading downtown.
If it were up to me, I would have grabbed the first thing I saw, but every time we went shopping, Katie insisted we try on everything. It was exhausting. It wasn’t as if she didn’t look amazing in anything she put on. She had a body any woman would envy.
At the third store, I found a dress we both approved of. It was dark green and fell to just below the knees, accentuating my slender waist and the modest flare of my hips without being too revealing. Nicholas always wanted me to look my best on these nights, and I had never let him down. I wasn’t vain, but I knew the way people reacted to me. It was the very reason Nicholas wanted me on his arm when he entered a room.