by Lisa De Jong
I could see the moment she did. Her eyes darted up to meet mine and a wide smile spread over her face. I rushed to her, grabbing her as soon as she was within arm’s reach.
It had been far too long.
I breathed her in, savoring. “Mmm.”
She giggled at my mumbling against her neck. “Did you miss me?” she teased, kissing me lightly on the lips while she looked up at me, her eyes gleaming. I could feel excitement flowing from her.
“You have no idea.” I drew her back for a deep, lingering kiss, showing her just how much I had.
“So, where are we going?” She scanned the flights, searching for some hint of our destination.
I pulled the tickets from my pocket and handed her one. She looked up, biting her lip as she bounced on her toes. “Tahoe?”
I nodded, and she threw herself at me, kissing me as she mumbled, “Thank you,” against my mouth.
“That okay with you?” I don’t know why I felt the need to ask; I’d already seen her honest reaction.
“Oh, my gosh! It sounds like the best place in the world to spend Christmas with you.”
I smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. “You’ll love it there. It’s so beautiful this time of year.”
I knew she’d never been to Tahoe. She hadn’t left Illinois once in nine years.
We made our way through the line, checking our luggage and breezing through security. Once they called us to board, we found our seats and Melanie and I got settled. Her posture stiffened as we began to taxi down the runway. She pressed her back into the seat and held my hand a little firmer than normal.
“You okay?” I squeezed back.
“Yeah. I just haven’t flown in so long. I kind of forgot what it feels like.”
She held her breath as the plane ascended, wincing when the plane dipped slightly just as it pulled from the ground. Her body slowly relaxed into mine the higher we climbed. She watched out the window as Chicago disappeared from view. She looked deep in thought.
“What are you thinking about?”
She snapped her head up in surprise.
“Oh.” She glanced back out the window as the last of the city fell away. She sank into me when I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her near. “I was just thinking about when I first came to Illinois...how it felt like a death sentence. Now,” she said, playing with my fingers, “leaving for the first time,” she turned enough so she could look at me, “it feels like I’m leaving it all behind.”
She was leaving it all behind. I just wasn’t ready to tell her yet.
Instead, I wrapped her up in me. I kissed her softly, reverently, making a silent oath to her and myself that that was exactly what we were doing. We were leaving it all behind.
****
Carefully, I maneuvered the rented SUV over the snowy roads, relying on the GPS to guide me through Tahoe City. We traveled slowly as we made our way out to the small cabin I’d rented in North Shore. The forest was dense and thick, the night sky covered in heavy clouds as snow flurried around us. The headlights reflected against the white, creating a blinding brilliance that had me gripping the steering wheel while I contended with near-zero visibility. I turned onto a dirt road, wet and muddied, and followed the narrow path to a small clearing that housed a gray stone and wood cabin.
Lights glowed from within, the porch illuminated by the lamp hanging beside the door. The snow on the deck had been shoveled. The rental agent made arrangements for everything to be ready for our arrival, the lights and furnace on, a fire waiting, and the kitchen stocked with everything we’d need for our stay.
Melanie squealed, clapping her hands together when she took in her surroundings for the first time. She unbuckled and leaned forward to get a closer look as the SUV slid to a complete stop. “Daniel...this is amazing.”
I couldn’t help but smile. She was carefree, without a worry, joyous—exactly the way I wanted her to be every day of her life. This kind of freedom was something I was determined to give her. She stuffed her head into her snowcap and wrapped her scarf around her neck. Her hair billowed out beneath the cap, the brown locks wild and frizzy from the long day of travel and the humidity in the air. She looked absolutely adorable. I didn’t realize I was staring until she looked at me, grinning. “What?”
I shook myself out of it and beamed at her. “I’m just so happy right now.”
She reached out and touched my cheek. “Me too.”
I nodded against her palm, before I grabbed her wrist and brought her hand to my mouth, placing a small kiss on the soft, pink skin.
“Are you ready?”
She nodded vigorously, opened the door, and cautiously stepped out into mounds of soft, white powder.
We were both laughing by the time we made it to the porch, grabbing each other for support as we more so slid across the ground than walked.
I slipped the key into the lock, turned the knob, and pulled Melanie into the warmth.
“Oh, Daniel,” she whispered with a sharp intake of air, rewarding me with the biggest smile.
“Do you like it?”
“It’s perfect.” Her eyes scanned the room, roaming over the darkened planks of the wooden floor. She glanced at the small kitchen and round dining table to the right, but was drawn to the spacious living room. A fire roared in the massive fireplace; the entire face of the wall surrounding it had different variations of gray stone. They meshed perfectly with the walls of rustic, gray wood that completed the rest of the room. The wall of windows that faced the lake was now black and reflecting the flames. She dropped my hand and walked toward the fireplace, running her hand over the back of the large maroon leather couch placed comfortably in the middle of the room. It sat opposite the fire, the gulf between blanketed by a plush black rug.
She glanced at the banister made of thick wood and wrought iron, protectively guarding the stairs that led to the one bedroom over the kitchen.
She turned and took two steps back to wrap her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest. “Thank you.” She looked up, her eyes glowing and open, drawing me into their depths. I captured her lips in a slow kiss, unrushed for the first time in a month. She twisted her arms around my neck. My intense reaction was immediate, my hands at her waist, pulling her against me, instant heat. Forcing myself to slow down, I stepped back and unwound the scarf from her neck and tugged the cap from her head. Her hair was a mess but still so soft when I sank my fingers into it and drew her back to me.
She shivered when my cold hands ran down her throat, exposing her chest. I kissed the soft, pale skin there while my hands loosened the belt of her jacket, pushing it from her shoulders and onto the floor.
“Daniel,” she said softly, her breath sweet as it spread over my face. My mouth became forceful. She instinctively stepped back, moving across the floor. Her hands dove into my hair as I leaned forward to fumble out of my jacket. I kicked off my shoes as I stepped with her, her body guiding me, leading me. We somehow stumbled up the stairs.
Flames flickered from the bedroom fireplace, casting orange light across windows set in darkness.
I struggled to hold her close and drag the blanket down the bed at the same time. I raked my arm along the swell of pillows at the head of the bed and swept them to the ground, laying Melanie in their place.
I made love to her, soft and slow. The room echoed with whispered words of love and promises of forever. This—loving her—felt so perfect, so right. And tonight marked a new beginning. I was never again going to fall asleep without her in my arms.
****
I awoke to the smell of bacon. My stomach growled. I pried my eyes open to see the clock that read eight-twenty. I couldn’t believe I’d slept so long. Rolling from bed, I dragged on my pants and ran my hands through my hair, trying to tame the disaster that it was.
I crept downstairs, taking a moment to watch Melanie in the kitchen. She was dressed in red flannel pajamas and black fuzzy slippers, her movements lithe as she ma
de her away around the room. It made my soul soar to see her so at ease and doing something she loved so much. I could see the change from that night those few short months ago when she was so broken—so drained. Now there was life in her eyes when she glanced at me over her shoulder when I wrapped my arms around her waist.
“Good morning.” I kissed her cheek.
“Mmm.” She brushed her cheek against mine, keeping her attention on the stove as she flipped the omelets in the skillet. “Good morning. Are you hungry?”
“Famished.” I grabbed a piece of bacon and popped it in my mouth.
“Me too. Could you grab a couple of plates?” She nodded toward a cupboard. I pulled two down and held them out while she filled our plates with ham and cheese omelets, bacon, and toast. I didn’t think I’d ever been hungrier. We settled in next to each other at the little round table.
“This is unbelievable.” She gazed out through the huge windows. They were partially fogged over from the warmth inside meeting with the freezing temperatures outside, though not enough to obstruct the view of the crystal blue water that seemed to go on forever. Only the mountains in the distance gave any indication of its end. The branches of the tall pines lining the yard hung low, heavy-laden with snow that layered everything but the frigid fluid lake.
“I thought you’d love it here.”
We ate in contented silence, just enjoying the peace of the company we shared.
I wiped my mouth when I finished my last bite. “So, what do you want to do today?”
She glanced back out the windows. “I’d be happy just hanging out here all day, if that’s okay with you?”
If it was okay with me? I would be satisfied if we never left once in the next eleven days. Nothing sounded better than being holed up in this cabin with Melanie.
She inclined her head toward the small kitchen. “There’s a ham in the fridge, and I thought I’d make that for Christmas dinner tomorrow, and maybe I could make that Italian casserole for dinner tonight? I think I remember you like it...” she said, her voice trailing off as her mouth lifted in a mischievous smirk. Obviously, she’d noticed.
I grinned at being caught. I’d made sure to order everything needed for it when I made the list for the shopper. Melanie had made the same dish on every special occasion she’d ever cooked for us: the two birthdays she’d spent with me, my high school graduation, and twice for Christmas Eve. I couldn’t think of anything more appropriate.
She shook her head and laughed. “I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t remembered.”
After breakfast, we refilled our coffee cups and settled onto the sofa. I wrapped us in a warm blanket and in silence we watched the snow flurries melt as the flakes landed in the water.
We lay like that for what seemed like hours, lost in thought. I ignored my phone ringing on the kitchen table, unwilling to get up and interrupt my time with Melanie. It became increasingly more difficult when it continued to ring every fifteen minutes or so.
When the phone began to ring again, I groaned and threw my head back into the pillow. I tried to keep my frustration in check, knowing there was only one person who could be so obnoxious.
“Just get it, Daniel.” Melanie sat up abruptly, her frustration as apparent as my own.
“I don’t want to talk to her.” Maybe I was acting like a child as I considered smashing the phone that allowed my mistakes to follow me across the country, but didn’t I deserve a break from her hounding? She had no right to call me, especially here—especially on Christmas Eve.
“What if there’s something wrong?” Melanie was always the voice of reason, though she clearly had no idea of just how unreasonable Vanessa actually was.
“There’s nothing wrong, Melanie. She does this constantly. I just ignore it. It’ll only encourage her if I answer it.”
“Well, you can’t ignore her forever. She’s your...your son’s mother.” With as much effort as she put into being strong, pain still laced each word. She couldn’t even look at me when she said it, her attention trained on her lap while she did what she believed to be the right thing.
When the incessant ringing began again, I forced myself to stand, my tone a sharp hiss when I answered, “What do you want?”
I stood with my back to Melanie, facing the wall, hoping to spare her the conversation. I winced when I heard the whiney voice. “I...I was just calling to say Merry Christmas.”
She was kidding me? Eight calls to wish me a Merry Christmas? I sucked in a deep breath, trying to control my anger.
“Vanessa, nothing has changed. I told you not to call me unless it’s about the baby.”
There was silence before she spoke, quiet and pleading, “Please, Daniel. It’s Christmas and...and I’m alone.”
I exhaled heavily. I had no idea how to deal with this woman. She was completely obsessed and driving me insane. A soft, warm hand came to rest on the bare skin of my lower back—Melanie literally standing by my side while I dealt with Vanessa. I pulled Melanie to me, leaning on her for support. I swallowed hard, desperately trying to be civil to the woman who was trying to ruin my life—the life that had just been given back to me.
I spoke to her, keeping my tone even and void of the complete hatred I felt for her, “Vanessa, I’m sorry you’re alone on Christmas, but you have to understand...that has nothing to do with me.” I couldn’t believe I’d gotten that out and still maintained my composure. I focused on the electricity that circulated through my body as Melanie comforted me.
“You need to leave me alone, Vanessa. You’re just making this harder on yourself.”
I could feel her objection through the phone before she even voiced it. “I’m not giving up on us, Daniel.”
“Then you’re wasting your time,” I said, actually feeling sorry for her for being so incredibly pathetic.
“Daniel—”
“Just leave me alone, Vanessa...please.” Melanie squeezed me, shouldering some of the burden in this hopeless situation.
I waited, praying Vanessa would agree and just move on with her life. Really, I should have known better than to hope for something like that.
“I can’t do that.”
I shook my head at her futile determination, realizing it was no use. There was nothing I could say that would convince her to stop this foolish game.
“Goodbye, Vanessa.” I ended the call before she had a chance to respond. I shut off the phone, not willing to give her another chance to disturb our holiday.
I looked down at Melanie, her eyes brimming with concern for me and the pain I’d caused her with my choices. I hated myself for putting her through this. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
She shook her head sharply. “I’m here, no matter what, remember?”
“Yeah,” I said as I kissed the top of her head.
I knew she would be. There was no question of her devotion, but how could I not feel terrible for putting her through it?
We were going to have to deal with Vanessa for the next eighteen years.
****
I held the knife steady as I cut into the tomato, slicing through it before turning it to the side so I could dice it, taking the one job Melanie had trusted me with very seriously.
Even though we were alone, it was still the first Christmas we’d spent together in years, so we’d decided to dress up for dinner just like we would have done had we been spending it at my family’s house. Right now, I was really enjoying that decision. Melanie moved around the kitchen, looking absolutely amazing in a red dress, her breasts just peeking out from the V-neck. The skirt swished around her knees as she made her way back and forth between the counter and oven.
I found it difficult to pay attention to the task in front of me. My body was painfully aware of every move she made, even though I was trying to give my regard to the very sharp blade coming dangerously close to the tips of my fingers.
She glanced over my shoulder. “I’m ready for those whenever you’re finished.”
&n
bsp; “Just a sec.” I finished up quickly.
She pecked my lips. “Thanks.”
I sat back and watched as she spread them over the top of the mixture and slid the dish into the oven.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” I inspected the bottles nestled in the small rack and picked out a red that would go well with our dinner.
“Mmm, yeah. That’d be nice.” She moved on to prepare the salad.
I popped the cork and filled two wine glasses halfway.
“Here you go, beautiful.” I set the glass next to her on the counter, reaching up to massage her shoulders, regretting that I was so incompetent in the kitchen. I figured I could at least make her feel good while she made my favorite dinner.
Luckily, Melanie agreed, groaning at my touch. “That...feels...so...good.”
I kissed the back of her head, my nose immersed in her rich brown curls. Swimming in the perfume that was only Melanie, I allowed her aura to ground me. My nerves had spiked, just a bit, knowing where this evening was going. I just had no idea what her reaction would be.
All I knew was I wanted her. I needed to share my life with her—completely—not this messed up situation where I was awarded only a small allowance of her. I was already wholly hers, and I could not bear another day where she was not wholly mine. But above all of that, I needed her safe.
While we waited for our dinner to cook, we moved to the couch, sipped our wine, and immersed ourselves in conversation until the buzzer called us to dinner.
The casserole was every bit as delicious as I remembered, maybe even better. I was sure that impression had a lot to do with the fact that Melanie and I were spending our first Christmas together in nearly a decade. I was now a firm believer in the old adage that you could never truly appreciate something until you’d been without it.
We ate by candlelight. Melanie’s face glowed, not just from the flicker of the flame, but with her joy. The smile on her face never faded. Her cheeks were the perfect shade of rose, emitting waves of heat, drawing me in. I found myself constantly reaching out to touch the soft flesh, running the back of my hand over her precious face. We laughed and loved as we ate and drank. We celebrated us. This was a meal I would never forget.