by Lisa De Jong
“I was going to bring you kids with me, but you meant the world to your father. I couldn’t break his heart that way. I knew leaving would be bad enough, and if I tried to take you kids as well, he would have never allowed it. He would have fought tooth and nail for you kids. So one night, I packed my bags, wrote a note for him, and left—never looking back, and never calling to check up on you guys.” Sara, my mother, I didn’t know what to call her, broke into quiet sobs.
I wish I could’ve blamed my tears on the hormones, but I knew I couldn’t. She had said so much; I learned more about the whole reasoning behind her leaving. Now that I knew, I wasn’t sure if I should be angry, content, happy, or relieved. Where do we go from here? How do you begin to build a relationship with someone after so many years of wanting and needing her, knowing that she chose to be selfish? Does she even want to build a relationship, or is this a way to help ease her guilty conscious?
Sara wiped her tears with the back of her hands and looked back at me. We stared at each other for a moment. Her eyes pleaded for forgiveness, and mine screamed with pain and understanding. So many things were going through my mind: more questions, wanting her to explain more of herself.
Just when I felt I was going to blurt out everything and tell her about all of my feelings towards her, the front door opened and closed. All three of us turned our attention towards the door, and Jeremy was standing there, staring at us questioningly. He slowly made his way in our direction.
It may have been the emotional rollercoaster of the last hour I’d endured with my mother, or last night’s mishap with Marcus, or the fact that my pregnancy hormones were getting the best me, but when I saw Jeremy and his familiar, friendly face, I couldn’t help but jump out of my seat and throw myself into his arms.
At first he was wary, and then when I began to sob in his arms, he tightened his embrace. He was my best friend, and I missed him so much. It felt like forever since we’d talked, really talked. I went to him for everything, and now that we had our separate lives, I didn’t realize how much I needed him.
Pulling back, Jeremy slightly lowered his head to look at me. “Hey, what’s the matter?”
Wiping the snot off my nose with the back of my hand, I looked at him. His piercing blue eyes were warm and allowed me to relax. “I’m fine. I just missed you, that’s all.”
He flashed his perfect smile while pulling me in and kissing the top of my head. “I’ve missed you too.”
A screeching noise from the kitchen startled me. When I turned around, Marcus’ chair was farther away from the table. And he was nowhere in sight. Before I could react, I heard a door slam shut. With our arms still wrapped around each other, we looked at each other, and without a second thought we unlocked our hold. Marcus was angry. I know him. He’d always been jealous of Jeremy, and my little “welcoming” display probably set him over the top. Sighing, I fixed my gaze at my mother who was still seated, staring at us.
“Maybe I should go. Do you think we could meet up sometime this week? I would like to maybe treat you to lunch or dinner. We could talk more?” She asked as she stood from her chair. Digging in her purse, she removed a pen and piece of paper. After scribbling something down, she made her way to me. “Here’s my cell and home number. I moved here a month ago. My address is written on there as well.” She handed me the info. I looked at it. Should I give her my information as well, or should I just leave it at that and contact her when I’m ready?
“Thank you. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She gently smiled and walked over towards the front door. I watched as she opened it, and looking over her shoulder, she smiled once again before leaving.
“Who was that?” Jeremy asked as he searched in the fridge.
“Long story, are you staying here tonight?” Now leaning over the kitchen island, he bit into an apple and nodded. “Well I have to fill you in on a lot of stuff. First, I’m going to check on Marcus.”
I debated before opening the door whether I should give him some more time or not. We were doing so well today. Ugh, I hated this about us. We were always up and down. Though, no matter how many times we were down, I still truly loved him. He was everything to me, and I didn’t want him to ever feel in any way insecure or jealous. The last thing I wanted was another argument. I don’t think I had the strength to fight back. Taking a deep breath, I walked into my room. Marcus was lying on my bed, hands behind his head, legs crossed, and eyes shut. I inched over to the edge and noticed he was listening to my iPod.
Kneeling on the bed beside him, I kept my distance. He popped opened an eye. Smiling, he took off the earbuds. With one hand still behind his head, he reached the other out to me. I took it, and he pulled me into him. I fell on chest and giggled. “What are you doing?” I asked, lifting my head to him.
“Chillaxing.” I burst out laughing, my mixed-use words sounded funny coming out of him, especially with his slight Boston accent.
He raised an eyebrow, and his smile grew crooked. “You find that funny? You should hear how it sounds when you say it.”
Slapping his chest, I yelled, “Hey!” Chuckling, he shifted his body so that I was flat on my back. He was on top of me with his stomach pressed against mine. He was searching my face, lost in thought.
I wonder sometimes what goes on in his head: all he has seen, the secrets he must keep, the dark path he’d chosen and refused to break from. Would he ever leave it? Would our love be enough for him to walk away from it? Or will this be his life even twenty years from now like his father’s? If that’s the case, then what am I doing? Can I truly live this way? His face grew sad, and he wiped the tears that I unknowingly shed, two simple drops that rolled down the side of my temples and onto the pillow.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. I didn’t want to answer him. I didn’t want to argue anymore. I just wanted to finally be happy, to be a family. I have to stop thinking about what tomorrow will bring and live for today. Tomorrow isn’t promised, and I can’t think of any reason why we shouldn’t be together at this moment. The love he’d shown me was deeper than most. Right then, at that very instant, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
“Ask me again?” I whispered.
His brows creased questioningly. “Ask you what?”
“Ask me again.” His eyes brightened when he realized what I was asking.
He leaned on his elbows, and his expression grew serious. Running his fingers through my hair, he licked his lips before speaking. “Mia, before you I was lost. And the moment I laid eyes on your beautiful face, I knew … I just knew I had to make you mine. I found a woman that makes me terrified to love for the first time. Finally I found the only woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m not asking. I’m begging you if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife.”
My heart swelled with each word. The love we had may not have been perfect, but it was love and no less. I had a beautiful, strong man, who was more damaged than I was, and throughout everything, we could still hold on even through the tears and laughter. How could I have given that up? Tears stung my eyes as I blurted out, “Yes.”
“Really?” He asked uncertain by my answer.
“Yes, I’ll marry you, Marcus. I know fifty years from now in your arms is where I want to be.” His eyes sparkled with his smile. He breathed out in relief and kissed me deeply and passionately.
We allowed ourselves to forget everything because at that moment we were happy and nothing could ruin it.
****
After Marcus fell asleep, I spent some time with Jeremy in the living room. We watched a comedy, snacked on junk food, and talked about the past week. I told him everything that happened, minus Marcus’ second life, but I spent hours telling him about my long-lost mother, the pregnancy, and the proposal. He was shocked, concerned, and happy for me. Jeremy was more worried about my career. I assured him that I was going to finish school, and even though it might take me an extra year, I was going to finish, no matter what.
&n
bsp; He was very supportive and confident that I would be a wonderful mother. Although, I wasn’t certain that I could, I vowed that I would try my absolute best to show unconditional love and support throughout my child’s life.
The next few days were better than expected. Morning sickness, for some unexplained reason, occurred at noon and in the evenings as well! Every smell bothered me except for one: Marcus. He was thankful for that—afraid that I would end up hating him. He said he read an article that said some women began to hate or resent their partner during pregnancy. I couldn’t see how that was possible. If anything, I felt clingier towards him. I wanted him around, and every time he left the room to even use the bathroom, I was emotional. It was super pathetic I know, but for some reason I had to be near him always.
That weekend he surprised me with a beautiful ring. I knew he was going to get me one even though I told him I didn’t need it. The look on his face was unforgettable when he handed me the small red box. He bit on his bottom lip, nervously awaiting my reaction, and his eyes gleamed with excitement.
When I flipped open the small lid, a glistening four-carat, princess-cut diamond brightened my eyes. Tiny diamonds wrapped around the platinum band. It had an antique style to it. I was surprised by how breathtaking a piece of jewelry could be. I was afraid to touch such an elegant piece, so he slid it on my finger. I’m such a simple person, never going crazy with jewelry, and although the ring was big and elegant, it was simple. I loved it.
Everything was going well, and we continued to keep the pregnancy hidden for a while. Marcus was a little upset that I told Jeremy about the pregnancy. So I allowed him to tell Jimmie, but that was it. We did announce our engagement to his entire family at Sunday dinner. Everyone was ecstatic, especially Theresa and Elle. Theresa began to plan the wedding at the dinner table.
Marcus and I tried to tell her we were in no rush and didn’t want anything big. She refused to listen, claiming that a winter wedding would be beautiful, and the family was too big not to have a huge wedding. I didn’t know how I would feel walking down the aisle with a huge belly. I allowed her to share her ideas. Once we announced the pregnancy, we could convince her to wait until after the baby was born.
Rumors began to spread very quickly at the office. Some were that I was knocked-up; that’s why he was marrying me. That wasn’t entirely false, but still. Others were that I was only marrying him for his money. That was completely false. I never thought of Marcus’ money once. I never even thought about how much he or his firm was worth, because it was never my intention to get his money. It bothered me that people thought that of me. Marcus didn’t allow any of the rumors to bother him. I envied that about him: how he just let it slide off his shoulders, not allowing any comment to affect him. I guess he was used to worse speculations spreading throughout the media, and simple office gossip didn’t faze him.
After a couple weeks, it was the beginning of August and my externship was over. The first day spent without Marcus was dreadful, so I focused on spending time with Sara. We met up every day for the next few days. My mother explained that she mailed another letter, hoping that Michael would have a change of heart. When the letter returned from the post office, she began to search for a new address. That was when she found out about his death. It was a little difficult for her to find me since I wasn’t listed, so she hired a private detective. That explained the black SUV. The entire time I thought it had something to do with Marcus. I was completely wrong!
We managed to slowly establish a relationship. I wasn’t sure what type of relationship it was, but we were working on that. I finally felt that my life was coming together. I’d gained a beautiful family with the DeLucas. Jeremy and I still had our close relationship. Soon I would be a mother, and recently I gained my mother. At one point in my life, I was at my lowest and thought nothing could possibly lift me from the miserable grief I’d suffered. Now I could honestly say I was the happiest I’d ever been.
Nothing could go wrong.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Oh, Mia, thank you so much!” Theresa jumped from the couch and rushed to the door as soon as I entered. Grabbing her purse, she was halfway out before I could answer. Turning back, she finished the rest of her sentence. “The last time she ate was this afternoon. She’s in her room, playing her game. Oh and also I’ve been meaning to tell you I want to plan a surprise birthday party for Marcus’ thirtieth.”
I’d almost forgotten his birthday; it was the next month at the end of September. “Can I help with the planning?” Theresa is very big on events, but I really wanted to help her with this.
She smiled before answering, “Of course! I have to run. See you soon, and thanks again for watching Elle at last minute.”
“It’s not a problem, Theresa. Go, you don’t want to be late.” She waved and ran out the door.
Elle’s sitter had surgery last week, so Theresa had been watching her. Though today she had to run to a doctor’s appointment she had forgotten about, and she called me immediately when the office called to verify the appointment.
Luckily, I was home doing nothing, just stuffing my face with Oreo cookies: the only craving in my pregnancy thus far. At ten weeks, I hadn’t gained any weight. I did feel bloated and had slight cramping, oh yeah and the “morning” sickness. Other than that, I’d been fine. Marcus and I were excited to share the news in a couple weeks with his family.
On my way to Elle’s room, I heard a knock at the door. I thought it was weird. There were never any visitors except for during the family dinners, and Theresa has a spare key. Maybe she’d left something behind and forgot it. I made my way to the door, and I was shocked when I caught sight of Romeo, Marcus’ younger cousin.
His shoulders were slouched over; his hands were shoved in the front pocket of his jeans, and his clothes were filled with mud. When he looked up, I gasped at the sight of his bruised face. He had a black, swollen left eye, the bridge of his nose was split open, and dry blood covered his nostrils and the side of his face. His lips were swollen and gashed open. “Oh my God, Romeo, what happened?” I reached out for him, grabbing his shoulders.
“He got himself into a little mess.” I was so focused on Romeo that I didn’t see Lou Sorrento standing just a few feet beside him. My heart dropped at the closeness. This was the first time I’d seen him face-to-face, and my anger began to slowly rise. He was responsible for Marcus’ other life, and I knew he was responsible for Romeo’s appearance.
Offering his hand, he brightly smiled. “Hi, I’m Lou. You must be the lovely Mia? It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Looking down at his hand, I didn’t take it. He would have no respect from me. I didn’t know what type of relationship he and Marcus had beside the obvious employment relationship, but I refused to show him any form of decency. His eyes widened with amusement, and then he rubbed the untaken hand against his chest. “Okay I need to talk with Marky. He’s ignoring my calls.”
“Marcus isn’t here, but when he arrives, I’ll make sure to tell him you’re looking for him. Goodbye.” Pulling Romeo into the house, I quickly walked in. Lou stopped the door with his foot, pushing his way in and shut the door behind him.
My heart began to race. What’s he doing here? Will Marcus be upset that he’s in the house? Has he ever been in this house? “I think I’ll stand here and wait for him. He needs to clear up the mess his idiot cousin made. I’m sure he wouldn’t miss any of your calls. If you call him, maybe I could be out of your hair sooner.”
Ignoring him, I walked over to Romeo, placing my hand on his face. He flinched in pain. “What did you get yourself into?” I whispered. Romeo couldn’t look at me; he was too ashamed. He clearly was not going to answer me. I had no choice but to call Marcus. Glaring at Lou, I wanted to smack the smart-ass grin off his face. Walking over to my purse, I grabbed my phone and made the call.
After one ring he picked up. “Hey, babe.” It sounded like he was in the car. I could hear wind blowing and other vehicles driving
by.
“Marcus?” I failed desperately to hide the shakiness in my voice.
Knowing me very well, he asked, “What’s wrong?”
Taking a deep breath, I tried to think of the best way to explain this. I walked over to the corner where no one could hear my conversation. “Romeo is here. He’s badly beaten, and Lou is with him. Lou won’t leave until he speaks with you.”
There were a few seconds of silence before he yelled, “What the fuck!” A few thumping noises along with the horn sounding off rang my ears. I knew my man well enough to know that he’d just punched the steering a few times, upset. Taking a deep breath, he was silent for a moment before responding again. “Put Lou on the phone.”
Hesitating for a second, I intently stared at Lou. He was seated on a chair in the living room, facing me. His legs were crossed, his elbow was on the armrest with a closed fist underneath his chin, and still he had that stupid amused grin. Clearing my throat, I spoke. “He’s on the phone.” He stretched out the hand that was lying on his lap.
I flashed a cocky look and smacked my hand to my hip. I further extended my arm with the cell phone. I was not one of his employees. He could very well walk his ass over and grab the phone. When I tapped my foot, he laughed once, shook his head, and stood from his seat. Striding over, he took the phone from my hand and placed it to his ear, not taking his eyes off of me the entire time.
“Marky.” He grinned. Taking a few steps back, I watched him closely. He was only a few inches taller than me. He had a medium build, thick salt-and-pepper hair that was neatly brushed back, and light brown eyes that narrowed as he listened attentively over the phone. If I didn’t hate him so much, I might’ve thought he was a good-looking man. Then I thought of all the pain Marcus and I had gone through because of him. I only saw him as an evil, malicious, disgusting man.