by Casey Crisp
However, despite my defeatist and self-deprecating thoughts, Alex’s arms were suddenly wrapped around my trembling body with a tight embrace. I was so surprised by the unexpected gesture that I simply allowed him to hold me, panting hard against his warm chest. His breath fanned out against my hair from where he whispered into my ear. “You don’t deserve this, Brynn. I know why you wouldn’t believe me back then, and I know that I have no right to say anything. I’m only here because I know what can make it better.”
He moved his face closer to mine, and I was shocked by how gorgeous he looked even in such close proximity. “What do you mean?”
“Revenge.” He practically purred. “Come out with me tonight, Brynn. I promise that it will make the pain go away.”
“That doesn’t seem right,” I told him with a shaky exhale. “Even after what he did to me. That just seems like a cheap way to get back at someone.”
Alex shook his head vehemently as if he was the one who had been betrayed. “Sometimes it’s fine to act out when the person who wronged you did something this despicable.”
Alex’s passion was vivid in the way he spoke and I wondered if he had once suffered through the same thing. “Are you an expert on this, Alex?”
“I am,” he said determinedly before a wicked smile crossed his lips. “The bitch who wronged me had the nerve to tell me that she was sorry.” Alex chuckled darkly and gently smoothed his fingers through my hair. “Let’s just say that she learned the hard way what it feels like to throw away a good thing.”
I let out a deep breath. “Is that why you’re the way you are now, Mr. Casanova?”
“Maybe I’ve just never met the right girl,” he teased, but I saw in his eyes that his little admission was exactly the reason why he no longer invested in the long-term. It made me consider the differences between Rose and Alex because my sister refused all boys when she was heartbroken while Alex chose to indulge all women. What did that mean for their respective personalities?
“So what kind of revenge were you thinking?” I asked, trying to switch topics.
“It’s nothing too serious,” Alex grinned mischievously. “You should show Jonathan that you’re not bothered by what he did. Let’s make him really think about his mistake.”
“You want me to go out with you?” I sighed because I knew that it was a reckless decision, but I no longer cared about propriety. “Where are we going?”
“To a club,” Alex said. “How do you feel about dancing?”
“You know that I’m not very good at it,” I admitted.
Alex reached down, taking my wrist into one hand. “Just follow my lead, Miss Starr,” he said. “I’ll always help you.”
***
The boutique screamed money from every top-name designer brand that covered the walls and decorated the floors, and a couple of well-dressed women greeted Alex by name when we walked inside. “I need a dress for my girlfriend,” he told them, and I felt my face flush at his words.
“Right away, Mr. Vonderheide!” They immediately conceded, grabbing me by my wrists before dragging me towards the dressing rooms at the back.
I stumbled along behind them, trying my best to keep up with their longer strides. Eventually, we arrived outside of a stall and the two women spoke quickly, pacing around me in critical circles: “What size are you? What designer do you usually wear? Are you comfortable with mermaid or tea-lengths?”
I was overwhelmed by the questions, and I could only manage a tentative nod that seemed to please the women because they clapped their hands together. A few minutes later, they both returned with several dresses draped over their arms. “In you go!” The first assistant smiled while she escorted me inside one of the spacious dressing rooms. She immediately closed the curtain, and there was no time to feel embarrassed before they were asking me to undress. My face was beet-red but I did as they requested, allowing them to exchange my casual jeans and t-shirt for an array of beautiful gowns in all manners of colors and designs. They made faces at me as I tried on each one as if scrutinizing every detail. Finally, a sheath, sky-blue slip dress seemed to please them both. “It’s perfect!” They both agreed before ushering me back into the waiting area. “Mr. Vonderheide!”
I tried not to react as Alex’s eyes ran up and down my figure. “She’ll take it.” Alex smirked while holding up his credit card.
“But Alex!” I protested, watching one of the women accept the card. “I can’t ask you to buy this for me.”
Alex’s tone was teasing. “I told you that I would help you, didn’t I? Trust me, this is just pocket change to me.”
I kept my mouth shut at his bragging because I knew that it was still a really nice gesture. Truthfully? Alex didn’t have to help me. He wanted to extend the courtesy, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about his unexpected virtuousness. It was extremely uncharacteristic, especially since Alex had every right in the world to hold Jonathan’s unfaithfulness over my head.
However, Alex simply paid for the dress and escorted me out of the store to where his Mustang was parked along the sidewalk. Thereafter, we drove in comfortable silence, the only sound coming from the radio playing music. Remarkably, I felt like I should’ve been incredibly nervous around Alex, but I wasn’t remotely uncomfortable. Instead, I found myself beaming from my spot in the passenger seat next to him. His attention certainly fed my ego, even if he could be an obnoxious tease most of the time. How could any woman not feel special wrapped in the arms of Alex Vonderheide? Of course, I would never admit that to him aloud as his pride was already hubris enough.
In any case, Alex had been honest when he said that we were going to a club, and this one looked particularly raunchy with its loud music easily heard from the streets from where we parked. The lights were bright and colorful, and I imagined that the inside was just as elaborate. I tried not to concern myself with the details, especially once Alex wrapped his hand firmly around mine. He led me inside with a knowing smile and I immediately winced at the pounding acoustics that would inevitably leave a faint ringing in my ears. I wasn’t fond of loud music because I cherished my hearing, and I had always felt uncomfortable at parties.
Yet, as I walked by Alex’s side with my body draped in money, I somehow managed to feel confident. It certainly helped that the eyes that were drawn our way were full of envy and lust, a powerful and intoxicating combination. It was certainly empowering, and I found myself smiling despite my earlier breakdown.
Alex paused at the bar and ordered us two drinks that I’m sure were alcoholic, but I also knew that he would get his way. In the meantime, I was unexpectedly drawn to the immense dance floor occupied by a flash of bodies moving in intimate synchrony with their partners. It was impossible to look away because I had never seen anything like that before.
“Here you go, Miss Starr,” Alex said, handing me what looked like one of the cocktails my mom often consumed when she thought my sisters and I weren’t paying attention. A tentative sip confirmed my theory, even as the fruity taste overpowered the faint hint of alcohol.
“It’s good,” I tried to tell Alex over the music as he pulled me along to a secluded table near the far-reaches of the club. I went to sit down but paused when he continued to hold tightly to my arm. I raised a brow at his lascivious grin.
“Sit on my lap.”
His voice was gravelly in my ear. “Why?” I asked with a shiver, but I refused to protest when he encouraged me to obey his simple command.
“Relax, Miss Starr,” he said. “I need you to remember why we’re here.” I nodded, words failing me in such close proximity to the school’s notorious playboy. “I wonder what your ex would think about seeing you here with me?” he asked while examining the smooth screen of his cell phone. I swallowed hard and tensed as his arm wrapped around my waist, despite his earlier suggestion to relax.
“Are you going to send him a picture?” I asked.
“I think it’s appropriate,” he agreed, face situated right next to mine. �
��Tell me, Miss Starr, what do you think would really make Jonathan regret his actions?”
“I think just seeing me like this would be enough,” I said while wondering, only briefly, what Jonathan was doing at that moment.
“But we’re looking to go so much further,” Alex said, repositioning me on his lap so that he could look at me easier. “I want him to reconsider whether one night was really enough.”
I doubted that my face could get any redder as I started hitting him on the chest repeatedly. “Don’t say things like that!”
Alex laughed, grabbing my hands to stop my movements. “I’m kidding, Miss Starr. What about a kiss instead?”
“A kiss?” I hesitated, remembering the last time Alex initiated such an intimate exchange. However, I also remembered Jonathan’s reaction, the way I followed him outside like some sort of desperate girlfriend. “This is the last time.”
Alex seemed satisfied, holding up his phone. “I’ll make sure that he gets a good shot.”
I forced down my reservations, closing my eyes when I felt Alex brush his lips against mine with a ghostly touch. My heart was beating erratically against my chest, blood rushing through my ears to drown out the music of the club. It was a lucid dream, and I felt like I could fly away when the only thing grounding me to reality was Alex.
I suddenly saw the flash of his camera and attempted to pull away, but I found myself tied to the moment by his hand on the back of my head. But I’d rather stay in place as I felt his lips moving across mine hypnotically, aware of the pressure of his tongue across my bottom lip. I could taste alcohol, and all rational thought vanished in a sudden desire for more of his intoxicating closeness. Alex held my hips tightly to bring me flush against his chest, and I fisted my hands into the lapels of his suit jacket. He kissed me passionately, and I ignored the tightness forming around my lungs in exchange for his tempting taste.
It was nice to be lost in this strange intimacy, completely unaware of everything except for Alex. The way he pulsed around me, driving my desire with a skill that only practiced hands could master to fill every empty spot Jonathan had left behind in exchange for something that could only be described as sinful. But there was also an overpowering heat somewhere in the middle of those good feelings that I quickly realized was dangerous. I pulled away immediately, breathing hard as I fought to regain my bearings. I opened my eyes and trembled at the dark lust in Alex’s eyes that forced my hands to shake against his shoulders.
I slowly moved into the vacant seat next to him, working through the sluggish fog wrapped around my head. Ironically, we both lost control of the situation, even under the guise of our true purpose for initiating such an intimate moment. “Did you get the picture?” I asked while clearing my throat.
Alex smirked as he slid his phone across the table. I took it willingly and opened the camera, smiling almost giddily when I saw the image that he captured. “This is great.”
“It was,” Alex said distantly, but I ignored him as I tried to imagine Jonathan’s reaction. Despite my earlier reservations, I wanted him to feel just as betrayed as I felt when Sydney had sent me the picture of the two of them together.
“Thank you, Alex,” I finally said, shrugging sheepishly. “I wasn’t sure what would happen tonight, but I don’t regret it.”
“Have I become a negative influence on you, Miss Starr?” he teased, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“It’s the opposite.” Alex sighed, and he turned his head to look at me. “Would you like to dance with me, Brynn?”
“Do you remember the last time I danced with you?”
“Yes, but I only want to make you feel good.”
“Alex...” I hesitated, but only because those were precarious words that I could easily take out of context...unless that was his intention.
I gasped when Alex took his phone from me, messing around for several seconds. “I sent the picture to him and I posted it on my Instagram.”
My eyes nearly bugged out of my head at his revelation. “You did what! The whole school will see that.”
“Exactly!” He grinned. “I think it’s enough to keep the conversation away from Jonathan and Sydney. The whole school probably knows about that too.”
I knew that he was right, so I decided that there were more important things to worry about. “I guess it’s fine.”
I tried to sound annoyed, but I knew that I failed miserably when he chuckled. “Why do you want to dance, anyway?”
“Do you really want to know?” Alex asked, leaning in closer as if trying to upend my control. “I’m afraid to get so vulgar with you, Miss Starr.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, shifting away from him in the booth, trying to create some distance.
“I mean, I can’t possibly reveal all of my kinks to you, but I think you can fill in the missing parts,” he said, eyes locked onto mine.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, this was Alex Vonderheide we were talking about and he definitely did not lack in experience. But it wasn’t so much the words themselves as opposed to the fact that he had said them to me. Alex chose to reveal such explicit things about what he wanted from me. His intensity was almost too much to handle, but I practically salivated at the devilish implications. “Why?”
“Why do you think?” he asked, regarding me carefully. “I’m breaking every rule that I have for you, Miss Starr. I promised myself that I wouldn’t grow close to another girl, but here you are driving me over the edge. I promised myself that I wouldn’t care so much about another girl, but when I heard about what Jonathan did to you, all I saw was red.”
I shivered at his explanation, even as he continued to speak over the music. “Let me be clear, I’m incredibly attracted to you, and when I had you on my lap, I thought about how good you would feel lying underneath me.” He paused and my entire body shook at his words. “I wouldn’t be any good for you, and that’s why I’ve never acted on these feelings before. I don’t want to be tied down to one girl, not after what happened to me in the past, and I know that you would want me all to yourself. You deserve that, but I can’t make you happy. I’m afraid that after I had you in my bed, I wouldn’t feel like this anymore and you would be heartbroken again.”
“Doesn’t that mean we should stay away from each other?”
“Consider it an indulgence tonight.”
“So you don’t want to be with me?” I winced at my childish words, hating how weak my voice sounded.
“I’m afraid to be with you,” Alex admitted, looking so out of his element at that moment. “But I care about you enough that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Of course, I want you more than you realize, but nothing good will come out of our situation. I know that’s why it's wrong for me to have you in any way tonight because it will only feed that desire, but I can’t help myself. I guess it’s selfish of me to ask for a kiss or something as simple as a dance, but I’m practically begging you to let me have those things tonight.”
I tried to process his words over my own mixed emotions: lust and repulsion, anger and despair, confusion and understanding. The loud music and the heavy smell of Alex’s cologne certainly weren’t helping matters. Paradoxically, I understood what he was saying, but why was he revealing such honest sentiments? If he didn’t want to indulge, then he should’ve kept his mouth shut. Instead, he had told me everything, and that was enough for me to agree to his request for a dance. I knew that it was stupid and wrong, and I didn’t fully understand the difficult emotions weighing down on my shoulders, but I still gave into him. I allowed him to take my hand and walk with me into the middle of the crowd that didn’t pay us any attention. “Feel the music,” he said, resting his chin on my shoulder. “You don’t have to be anything more than yourself.”
I was gone after his declaration, lost in a strange memory with Alex while we danced to raunchy music amongst other couples who had no qualms about being with their
significant others. However, Alex had made it clear that we would never amount to anything significant. Regrettably, if I had only known just how much he would hurt me, then perhaps my next mistakes might have been avoided.
Winter
Nicole
“Guess what, Nicole?”
I withheld a sigh as I turned around to face Beckett. He stood behind me wearing a proud smirk, dark-colored hair parted to expose the full effect of his dark irises. I tried to ignore Alex who appeared entirely disinterested as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers, but I still aimed a glare in his direction as he was certainly not high on my list of favorite people. After everything that he did to Brynn and then sharing it with the entire school? Yeah, I hated him for perfectly valid reasons.
“What do you want?” I asked, although I was pretty confident that I already knew what Beckett was going to say.
“I’m here to cash in on my favor,” he replied. “I need your help, and I have no doubt that you’ll play your part well.”
“What is it?”
“I need you to come with me to the winter formal,” he replied.
“You just want a date to the formal?” I snorted in disbelief. “I’m not here to put myself down, but I know a lot of girls who would rush at the opportunity.”
“Not the winter formal here!” He snickered. “It’s at another high school.”
“Oh?” I narrowed my eyes. “What’s this really about, Beckett? You want me to go with you to another school’s winter formal?”
“Don’t worry, Nicole, it’s nothing too dramatic,” Beckett said. “I’ll come pick you up and we’ll go together.”
“There has to be a reason why you’re going to another school,” I ventured, and the gears were already turning in my head subconsciously.