First Impressions

by Margaret Thornton

  Shirley and Ellen were dancing, too. Not with one another but with two men from the coach tour. They were brothers, both widowed and in their sixties, holidaying together. They had been seen in company with the two ladies, not that there would be any romantic notions there, thought Mavis. But it was good to see Ellen’s face light up at the unaccustomed attention.

  The evening’s festivities ended at eleven thirty. Dave and Jane danced again as Engelbert Humperdinck sang of the last waltz with you, the song that told of two lonely people together. Jane thought how lovely it would be, never to be lonely again. But was that just an impossible dream?

  Dave’s next words surprised her. ‘Let’s go to my room,’ he said. ‘I’ve got a bottle of wine, and we can have a nice quiet drink together to finish off the evening.’

  Jane burst out laughing. She couldn’t help it. ‘Well, that’s a good chat-up line if ever I heard one!’

  Dave laughed too. ‘Yes, I suppose it sounds like it, but I didn’t mean it like that … I don’t intend to seduce you,’ he added in a whisper. ‘Everyone’s going now, and we can’t very well stay down here. Besides, I want to talk to you, Jane.’

  They went up the stairs to their rooms. ‘Oh dear! There’s only one glass,’ he said. ‘You’d better bring your own.’

  Jane felt bemused as she went along the corridor to Dave’s room with the glass provided by the hotel. She had already had quite enough to drink, but she knew that what Dave had said would be true. She knew he was not the sort of man to take liberties with her.

  It was the first time she had been in anyone else’s room. They were almost identical with regard to decor. Not elaborate, just homely and functional with pine furniture and folkweave curtains and cushions. Dave had already drawn the cork from the bottle of Riesling and he poured out a glass for each of them.

  ‘It’s been a good evening, hasn’t it?’ he began, as they perched together on the edge of the bed. There was nowhere else to sit apart from one semi-easy chair at the other side of the room, and she felt it might look rather stand-offish if she sat there.

  ‘Cheers.’ He raised his glass and she did the same. ‘Here’s to the rest of our wonderful holiday. It’s been a very happy one, unexpectedly happy, thanks to you, Jane.’

  He put his glass down on the bedside table and put an arm around her. She put her glass down as well, welcoming his embrace and his tender kiss. But he did not continue kissing her. He took hold of both her hands, looking earnestly into her eyes.

  ‘Jane,’ he began, ‘I’ve only known you for a few days, but I feel that I already know you so well; that we both know each other really well … and I believe that I love you. No … I’m sure that I love you. And … dare I hope that you feel the same?’

  ‘Yes … yes, I do,’ she answered. ‘But it’s less than a week since we met. I’ve been trying to tell myself that it’s just a holiday thing; that we’ve been thrown together and that it was inevitable that we should get friendly.’

  ‘But if we’d disliked one another on sight we wouldn’t have even tried to be friendly, would we?’ said Dave. ‘There are spare seats on the coach; one of us could have moved. But we didn’t, because the attraction was there, right from the start.’

  ‘Yes, so it was,’ said Jane. ‘And I do believe I’m falling in love with you.’

  He kissed her again. ‘It sounds corny to say that I’ve never felt like this before, but it’s true, I haven’t … well, not for ages. And I’ve been very cautious about showing my feelings to anyone. But now, I would like to think that we might have a future together, don’t you, Jane?’

  ‘Yes, I do,’ she replied. ‘I know that we’re both single, as they say nowadays. I’m a widow, which is what they used to say, and so are you … a widower. But it isn’t quite so simple, is it? There are other commitments.’ She shook her head. ‘What on earth would I do about Mother? She depends on me so much. And you have your farm to run, and we live so far apart.’

  ‘Not so very far, love,’ he said. ‘A hundred miles or so. What’s that? Yes, I know there are difficulties, but I’m sure we could carry on seeing one another. We both drive, it shouldn’t be too impossible.’

  He did not kiss her again, not just then. He picked up his glass of wine and she did the same. He knew that he was not being entirely truthful with her, in fact he was allowing her to believe something that was a lie. What was more, he had had the chance to tell her the truth, and he felt he couldn’t do it, not after they had spent such a lovely evening together. Jane believed that his wife had died. He had said that he had lost his wife, and Jane had presumed that she was dead. But Judith was very much alive. She was in a relationship with another man, as she had been ever since she had left Dave, but she refused to consider a divorce because of her Catholic upbringing.

  ‘Is something the matter?’ asked Jane. ‘You’ve gone very quiet.’

  ‘No, not really,’ he replied. ‘I was just thinking about what you said, mainly about your mother. There must be some way round it all. She wouldn’t be so heartless as to deny you a chance of happiness, would she?’

  ‘I don’t know. If she met you I feel sure she would like you. Let’s just wait and see, shall we, Dave, and enjoy the rest of our holiday? We have to return to reality in a few days’ time. This is an unreal situation in a way, isn’t it? A carefree holiday, no worries, no decisions to make. Let’s see how things go when we get back home. Of course I want to carry on seeing you. I shall do all that I can to make sure I do, so long as we both feel the same?’

  ‘I will, my darling. I assure you, I will.’ It was the first time he had used the endearment. He kissed her again and again. Their embraces became more passionate until they both realized it was time to call a halt.

  Jane stood up rather abruptly. ‘I must go, Dave.’ She kissed him lightly on the cheek. ‘Don’t let’s worry about it, not just yet. Goodnight, sleep well.’

  ‘Goodnight, my dear, See you in the morning.’

  He would tell her tomorrow, Dave decided. Tomorrow night when they had returned from the excursion. He didn’t want to spoil what promised to be one of the best days of the tour. Maybe she would understand and not think it too much of an issue. There was a much more relaxed attitude now about couples living together out of wedlock. It was something Dave had thought he would never do; he was a trifle old-fashioned in that respect. He knew now, though, that his life had not been complete. He had been contented enough on his own, with his work and his family … and then he had met Jane. He did not want to miss out on the chance of being happy and fulfilled again.

  Sixteen

  There was a resounding cheer on Sunday from the company of the Galaxy tour, when Mike entered the dining room carrying Shirley’s missing suitcase. They had all sympathized with her, understanding how they might feel if parted from their possessions. As it turned out she had managed quite well. She had come to realize that there were others with far worse problems and, on the lighter side, she had enjoyed a good spending spree and had persuaded Ellen to do the same.

  The Sunday excursion was to Lake Constance, a large lake, almost an inland sea, which bordered on three countries, Germany, Austria and Switzerland. The distance from Freiburg was around a hundred miles, so they would need to make an early start.

  Arthur was due to come out of hospital that morning and, to Mavis’s delight, the doctor had said that he might be allowed to go on the excursion with the rest of the group, provided he took very great care. He would be facing a long journey home in a few days’ time, so this would get him used to the coach travelling again.

  Both the hospital staff and the coach drivers did all they could to help. He was taken back to the guest house in an ambulance, and Mike delayed the start of the journey for fifteen minutes to make sure he was comfortably settled in his seat.

  ‘By heck! This is grand,’ he said to his wife as the coach sped along the road. They were using mainly the Autobahn route as the journey was quite a long one. ‘I’d
never have believed that I’d be out and about again so soon. They’ve worked wonders at that hospital. I tell you, Mavis, I was scared to death when I came round and realized where I was. I thought I’d had it, really I did.’

  ‘Well, thank the good Lord you’re still here with us.’ Mavis took hold of his hand and squeezed it gently. ‘I was worried, too, that night when I left you in hospital. You seemed to be recovering, but I was scared that you might have a relapse. But it wasn’t as bad as we feared, after all.’

  ‘No, and I’m still here to tell the tale.’ Arthur laughed quietly. ‘It was quite an experience meeting that German fellow last night. He’s a grand chap, Mavis, and he did me a world of good. I’m sorry you couldn’t meet him an’ all.’

  ‘Yes, I’m sorry, too. You were able to swap stories then, about the war?’

  ‘Aye, but we didn’t dwell on it too much. He felt the same as I did, that it was horrific, just … dreadful.’ He shook his head sorrowfully. ‘He said he was relieved when he was taken prisoner, so that he could escape from what he was being forced to do. All that bombing and destruction … He didn’t want to be a part of it at all, especially when he realized what was going on. They didn’t know, Mavis, a lot of ’em, not till afterwards. They weren’t to be blamed. It was just that Hitler and his cronies.’

  ‘So you’re changing your mind about the Germans, are you?’ Mavis smiled at him understandingly.

  ‘Aye, I suppose I am. I’ve had to, haven’t I? The ones I’ve seen so far, they’re great folk. A bit humourless, maybe; a bit prim and proper. Not Ingrid, though, she was a real lively young lass. She reminded me of our Melissa, she was so bright and cheerful. She made me feel tons better, same as Melissa always does. Well, like all our grandchildren do. We’ve a lot to be thankful for, haven’t we, Mavis?’

  ‘We certainly have,’ she replied. Arthur sounded like a different person since his traumatic experience. She couldn’t help but wonder if the old Arthur might surface again when they got back home. What did it matter, though? She still cared deeply for him, warts and all.

  ‘Just relax now, Arthur,’ she told him. ‘Look at the scenery, or have a little doze. It’ll be a long day, so just take it easy now.’

  They had a coffee and comfort stop mid-morning, and arrived at their destination, the lakeside town of Constance – the same name as the lake – in time for lunch. It was a pleasant town with a new pedestrianized zone as well as the old town with narrow cobbled streets and alleyways, similar to other German towns they had already visited. From the harbour there was a magnificent view across the lake to the Swiss and Austrian mountains.

  They stayed only a short time in the town, to have a stroll around or a quick bite to eat if they so wished. The main part of the tour was to the flower island of Mainau, situated in the German part of the lake and reached by a causeway from the town. They were to be there for three hours to see all the sights that the island had to offer. A short enough time, and they all agreed afterwards that they could have spent a whole day there and still not seen it all.

  When they arrived at the island Mavis discovered to her relief – she had been rather worried – that wheelchairs were available and, what was more, there was no shortage of men who were willing to push Arthur around. It was finally decided that Trevor and Malcolm, the two brothers who had formed a casual friendship with Shirley and Ellen, were to take turns with the wheelchair. And so the six of them set off together to view the delights of the island.

  They had already been told by Mike, in his commentary, that the island had been created by Frederick the First, the Grand Duke of Baden in 1853. He had been responsible for the planting of the arboretum and for the building of the Baroque summer palace.

  Throughout their stay there the people from the coach tour kept encountering one another at the various places of interest: the gardens, hothouses and numerous cafes. The island was an enormous flower-filled park with enchanting vistas at every turn.

  The little group of six stopped to take a rest in the Italian rose garden, a fairyland of pergolas, sculptures and fountains, containing, it was reputed, more than five hundred varieties of rose. Their fragrance scented the air, and the varied hues of the flowers, from purest white to lemon, gold, delicate pink, scarlet and deep purplish red, were a wondrous sight to see.

  They strolled through the Mediterranean terraces, a haven for palm trees, colourful pot plants, and purple bougainvillea cascading from gigantic urns. At every turn there were rhododendron and azalea bushes, coming to the end of their flowering period. The hothouses were filled with exotic blooms too delicate to exist out of doors, and in one of the conservatories there was a myriad of butterflies flittering amongst the flowers.

  At the end of the afternoon when they arrived back at the coach they could not stop enthusing about all that they had seen.

  ‘We’ve had some wonderful tours this week,’ said Dave, speaking for them all, ‘but I think this one beats the lot. Thanks very much, Mike and Bill, for bringing us to this lovely place.’

  Mike laughed. ‘Don’t thank us, thank Galaxy Travel. They arranged it all. We’re glad you enjoyed it. By the way, it’s the last trip you’ll take with Bill and me, apart from the journey home, of course. Tomorrow we have to take a rest day – the company is very strict about that – so that we’re in good shape to travel back to the UK. So it’s a free day for you folks tomorrow to do as you wish. You could take a bus into Freiburg again, or have a saunter round the countryside. We’ll tell you later on about the starting off time on Tuesday. Now, relax and enjoy the journey back. It’s full speed ahead now, back to our hotel.’

  Several of them felt dejected thinking about going back home in two days’ time. Jane was one of them. It was all coming to an end. It had been so exciting, such a happy time, just like a dream, and all so unexpected. She thought about what Dave had said last night. Could she dare to hope that they might have a future together? She hadn’t rung her mother for a few days. She was loath to burst the bubble of happiness that enclosed her, She decided it would be time enough to break the news to Mother – if she could ever find the courage to do so – when she saw her again.

  Dave, also, was deep in thought. He knew that he would have to talk to Jane again, later that evening, and this time he would have to be absolutely truthful with her. He was in a quandary. He could not ask her outright to be his ‘mistress’, an outdated expression that he would not use, but it amounted to the same thing. But he had to make it clear to her that he wanted her to be more than a friend, although he was unable to promise her the security of marriage. Did it matter, though, nowadays? He was coming to the conclusion that living together – not straight away, of course, but sometime in the future – was the only solution. He was sure that he and Jane could be happy together. But how would she feel about it?

  Dinner was a little later that evening to give everyone a chance to freshen up after the tiring day. After the meal Dave asked Jane if she felt like taking a stroll down to the village, if she was not too tired.

  ‘We could have a drink at the beer garden, like we did the first evening,’ he suggested. ‘That is if you feel up to it?’

  ‘Of course I do,’ she replied. That had been a memorable evening, with the feeling of a developing romance. Dave had kissed her a few times on the way back to the hotel, and she had known that she was growing very fond of him. She was sure now that she would like to think – to hope – that they could have a future together. But was that all that it amounted to, just a forlorn hope?

  They walked hand in hand down the country road that led to the village, and to the beer garden they had discovered the first evening. There were a few others from the coach party sitting in the garden area, including Bill and Christine. Jane and Dave said hello to them then found a secluded table at the other side. Not that they wanted to be unfriendly but they both knew that there were personal things that they wanted to talk about, and their time together was growing shorter, only two more days
and they would be on their way home. It was clear, as well, that Bill and Christine were very contented on their own.

  ‘White wine for you?’ asked Dave when the waiter appeared.

  ‘Yes, please … Well, a spritzer, I think,’ she replied. It would last longer, and more than a couple of glasses of wine – which she had already drunk at dinner time – made her feel woozy. Dave ordered the drinks – lager for himself – then they sat quietly until they arrived.

  When he had taken a good gulp of his lager Dave looked intently at Jane and took hold of her hand. ‘Jane,’ he began, ‘I have to tell you something.’

  She guessed by the serious tone of his voice that it was something of importance. She wondered for a brief moment if he was beginning to regret what he had said about them sharing a future together. Maybe she had not seemed enthusiastic enough about the prospect, putting obstacles in the way, chiefly the problem of her mother. She looked at him in silence, waiting for what would come next.

  ‘I haven’t been entirely honest with you,’ he went on. ‘You are under the impression that I am a widower, and I know that it is my fault. I have let you go on believing so, when I should have told you. The truth is … I’m so sorry, Jane … I still have a wife. Judith is very much alive.’ She gave an involuntary gasp, and Dave leaned closer to her.

  ‘I feel dreadful about this, my love, please believe me. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could say we are divorced, but we’re not.’

  Jane shook her head in bewilderment. ‘But … I don’t understand. What are you saying, Dave? You are separated … living apart, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yes, of course we are. Judith left me four years ago to go and live with someone else, someone more exciting than I am who can give her the sort of life she wants to live – glitter and glamour, parties and exotic holidays. She’s still with him – I’ve never met him – but according to my son, Peter, they’re very happy together.’

  ‘Then why are you not divorced? That’s what you said, isn’t it? Surely there are grounds for divorce?’ Jane was stunned. This had come right out of the blue. She could scarcely take it in. She was so sure that he had said his wife had died. Now she remembered that what he had actually said was that he had lost his wife. So what else was she to think? That was what the words implied; that the woman was dead. And he had let her go on thinking so.