“Do you have feelings for her, Lance?” he asked in a serious tone.
“Not good ones,” I said. “On top of it all, she had one of the guys' numbers in her pocket, and it fell out on my floor when she took off.”
“That pisses you off?” he asked.
“Of course it does,” I said louder than I should have. “Was she going to do him just to get ahead? If so, that's total bullshit.”
“Are you sure that's why it pissed you off?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Of course it is. I already told you that I can't stand her. If you met her, you'd know exactly what I mean. You want to watch a movie?”
“Really?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I'm done talking about her. I just want to relax. My ass has to get to work in the morning. There's no way I'm letting someone like her win this.”
“Okay,” he said, with a shake of his head. “Turn on a movie.”
It was actually pretty cool spending time with my dad like that. I knew I was totally going to regret the things I'd said, but I did feel a bit better getting some of it off my chest. Having bro time with my dad wasn't so bad. We didn't have baseball or anything else connecting us. When we were talking and hanging out together, it felt good. It was definitely something I wanted to do again.
When he finally left, I walked into my office and sat down in front of my laptop. As soon as it came to life, I saw the message.
Lauren: I'm sorry.
I felt the rumble in my chest before I heard the growl escape me. The paper with Eric's number kept drawing me to it. Should I say something back, I wondered? She wasn't screwing with me. I wasn't that guy, and there was no way I was going to be either.
“Fuck that,” I said, as I deleted the message and shut my laptop. “I'm going to bed.”
Chapter 3
Lauren
Two weeks had gone by and I was screwed. I hadn't been able to concentrate at all. Lance never responded to my message, and it was driving me crazy. I gave him space. I didn't mess with him once. It didn't help. I was hoping he'd feel bad and eventually message me, but he didn't. He didn't give a shit. It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. I should have brushed it off and moved on with my work, but I couldn't. Knowing he was right there, on the other side of my computer, was irritating me. Why hadn't he responded? He'd seen it, I knew he had. Maybe I was reading way more into things than I should have been. He was probably out at another bar meeting someone else. We were only together twice. That didn't mean anything to either of us, right?
Didn't he know that I never apologized to anyone for anything? It had been a first, and he hadn't even cared. What had he thought when he read it? I'd taken a step, a risk, and it hadn't mattered. Did he even care that I'd taken off in the middle of the night? I hadn't messed with him at all, and it was driving me nuts not seeing his name pop up on my screen. Maybe if I acted as if nothing happened, we could go back to the way it was, I thought. How was it? I messed with him until he got irritated enough to finally answer. That was exactly how things were. I didn't want him anyway. I was tired. That had to be it. My mind and feelings had gotten away from me for a bit in that hotel room. There was nothing between us. It was just a one time thing, well a two time thing actually. Back to normal, I thought. Just act normal. The normal me would fuck with him.
Me: Don't be such a pussy.
When I heard the ding, I felt instant relief.
Lance: Screw you.
It was something, right?
Me: What's your problem?
Lance: If you don't know, then fuck you!
Me: You can't possibly be pissed that I left.
Lance: And why not?
Me: Seriously! Don't be a fucking baby. You did the same thing to me.
Lance: Fine.
Me: Fine?
Lance: Yep, fine.
Me: I didn't do a damn thing wrong.
Wait a second, I thought. Why are you groveling? What I did was no worse than him. His was worse actually. It made me late, and I looked like a total loser for that.
I sat staring at the screen, waiting for him to reply. When he didn't, I let out a growl and got up to walk away. I didn't have time for him or his attitude. I had more important things to think about. Then I heard the ding and hurried right back to check it.
Chapter 4
Lance
Those two weeks were just like the rest, I didn't get shit done. Each time I thought about her, it made me even more aggravated. The only difference between that and the normal was the bit of peace and quiet I got. She'd been silent. I couldn't believe it myself. It was driving her crazy that I hadn't responded, I knew it was. Was I full of myself? Not at all. She was going nuts. I was sure of it. It wasn't the fact that she'd want to hear from me. It was the fact that I'd blown her off. She wanted a reaction, and I wasn't giving her that. I wasn't sure what exactly she was apologizing for, there were so many options. Part of me felt guilty. It couldn't have been easy for her to say she was sorry, especially to me. Another part of me, the part she screwed with for years and the part that had Eric's number, was hoping it was driving her crazy.
I was hard at work when I heard the very familiar ding and knew right away that it was her. She couldn't take it. I had to answer when she called me a pussy. She's damn lucky I wasn't close to her, or I would've spanked her ass red. Just the thought made my dick twitch in my sweats. Shit! I gave her the satisfaction of going back and forth a few times. She thought I was pissed that she'd left. A little confident on her part. Why would she think I'd care that she was gone. It would have just made it easier for me in the morning. I normally would have been just fine with it, but I wasn't, not that time. She obviously didn't know just how pissed I was. There was definitely more to it than that.
When I replied with fine, I knew she was about to blow her stack. Then she questioned it. Yep, fine was my answer. I could see her face like it was right in front of me. Her cheeks were probably as red as apples. She probably had smoke coming from her ears. Just the thought made me laugh, until I thought about the number and was seeing red myself. I read her final line over and over. I had no intention of responding, not ever again. Each time I read the line, I became a little more pissed. When I couldn't take it any longer, I picked up the piece of paper and typed out the phone number. Then I hit send.
Lauren: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Good, I thought. She was just as mad as I was.
Me: Eric's number. I thought you might need it.
Lauren: Where did you get it?
Me: It must have fallen out of your pocket the night we fucked.
Yep, fucked. I was letting her know being with her didn't mean shit to me. We fucked. That was it.
Lauren: I wasn't going to call him.
Me: Oh, so you were just saving it then. That's good to know.
She didn't reply, and I couldn't stop the emotions from coming out through my fingers.
Me: Were you thinking you might change your mind?
Before she could respond, I was typing again.
Me: Maybe you were keeping it in case you needed to fuck him for some last minute help.
Lauren: Bullshit!
Me: Really?
Lauren: Yes, really.
I was gone. There was no stopping me.
Me: Or are you too wrapped up in Jackson, whoever he is?
Lauren: What?
Like she didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. Did she think I was a fool?
Me: I heard you on the phone in the hallway of the hotel. “I love you, baby.” That was what, an hour before you showed up at my door?
A few minutes went by before she responded. I bet she was trying to figure out what to say.
Lauren: If you were so pissed, why'd you let me in?
That was it. Who did she think she was?
Me: Fuck you!
Lauren: Lance
I was done, but I needed one more answer. If she was playing around with
Jackson and Eric along with me, maybe there was even more to her games.
Me: Did you know it was me?
Lauren: What?
Me: That night at the bar. Did you know I was Locksmith?
Lauren: No! What kind of person do you think I am?
Me: I don't believe you.
Lauren: Lance
Me: Just call Eric or Jackson or whoever you want, but leave me the fuck alone. I don't have time for this shit.
Lauren: Let me explain.
Me: Don't bother. I have work to do. Kicking your ass for starters. Goodbye, Lauren.
Lauren: Lance
Me: I said goodbye!
Chapter 5
Lauren
“Fuck!” I snapped out into my empty room.
I slammed the lid of my laptop down, walked over and fell onto my bed, and I cried. There was no way I was going to get together with Eric, but I had kept his number in case I needed help. Lance had every right to be pissed. He couldn't have gotten help from any of the guys. If I'd called and gotten Eric's help, it would have been wrong. I didn't plan on doing it, but I could see why Lance thought what he did. I'd been in such a hurry with my whirlwind of emotions when I left his room that night. The paper must have fallen out of my pocket when I grabbed my phone to use it for light. Shit! How could he think I'd do something with Eric? There was no way. The guy gave me the creeps. Wait, I thought. What did he care? Was it just about me getting help on the project? It sure didn't seem like that was all he was pissed about.
He'd heard me on the phone with Jackson. I didn't know how. I hadn't seen him in the hallway. He was in his room, at least I thought he was. When I showed up at his door, he seemed relaxed. Not for one second did I think he'd just gotten back. I couldn't help my mind from wandering back to that night. The way he stood tall with his arms crossed over his chest was so damn sexy. He exuded power and control. Every part of me wanted to please him. Damn! Back on track, I told myself. That was the problem with him, he was messing with my head. The man was driving me crazy.
Did he care, I found myself wondering? He'd mentioned Eric and Jackson in the same sentence. He thought I was with both of them. How the fuck was I supposed to have time for that? What did the man think, I had double the hours in a day that he did? It was ridiculous. I thought back to his messages and could picture his face and body like he was right there. He was pissed, there was no hiding it. I could see him standing with his shoulders back and a serious look on his face. Just the thought made me shiver.
What kind of woman did he think I was, I wondered? Did he honestly think I was in bed with him right after I'd told another man I loved him? That was not me. My days of sleeping around were over not long after they'd started. Wait, I thought. What did I care? He was the one in the bar. He was the one that started the whole thing. How many times had he done that? Was it a regular thing for him? Was I really the one being played?
I pushed myself up and off of my bed before walking to the kitchen to get something warm to drink. When I felt something touch my back as I backed away from the coffee pot, I jumped.
“Grandma,” I gasped.
“I'm sorry, Lauren,” she said. “I didn't mean to scare you. I was just coming to get a drink myself. Are you having coffee at this time of night?”
“Just a little,” I said. “I needed something warm. This was the only thing I could think of. I'm going to bed right after.”
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Fine,” I said.
“You want to talk about anything?” she asked.
“I'm good,” I said.
“Really?” she asked with a sly grin on her face.
“Yes,” I said.
“Sit down,” she said. “What's going on, and before you give me the whole nothing answer, I'm letting you know that I'm not buying it.”
I let out a sigh and sat down in the chair across from where she was standing. She sat down too and waited patiently for me say something.
“It's the guy I'm competing with for the job,” I said.
“What about him?” she asked.
I opened my mouth and things started pouring out of it. She'd asked for it, right? I told her everything, well almost everything. I left out what we did behind closed doors. My grandma didn't need to hear that stuff.
“Your grandpa wasn't always easy to deal with. He was so damn stubborn,” was the first thing she said, and I was shocked.
How could she compare what I'd just told her to the crazy, awesome love she had with my grandpa? It wasn't even close to the same.
“It's not like that,” I said. “You must have missed something. I just got done telling you that I can't stand the guy. He's cocky, demanding, irritating, and a pain in my butt. He is the opposite of grandpa or anyone decent for that matter. I'm telling you, he's the worst.
“I see,” she said.
“What?” I asked.
She narrowed her eyes at me, but I could see the smile playing at the corners of her lips.
“Not a thing,” she said. “You don't like him?”
“Of course not,” I said.
“He doesn't like you?” she asked.
“Nope,” I answered.
“He's furious that you might be talking to other guys, and you're going crazy worrying about what he thinks of you,” she said.
“Right,” I said. “I don't want him to think bad of me.”
“You like him,” she said.
“Yes, I mean no. I don't know,” I said. “That doesn't matter.”
“You need to talk to him,” she said.
“I can't,” I said. “He's so mad. No, the man is furious. He thinks I'm a player and that I might be willing to sleep with a guy to get help with my work. I've tried talking to him. He won't even answer my messages anymore. The man is unreasonable, Grandma.”
She shook her head, and I could see her grin growing.
“What do I say if I even find a way to get him to talk to me?” I asked. “The minute he finds out who Jackson is, he's going to judge me. He does that a lot. It isn't going to sound any better that I had a child at seventeen. If anything, it's going to make his point stronger and freak him out.”
“How do you know that?” she asked.
“Mom's right,” I said. “Nobody is going to want me.”
“You can't let what your mother says get to you, Lauren,” she said. “She's just bitter about her own life. She knew who your father was before she married him and had you. Someone let her know right away. She just wasn't smart enough to walk away. Your mother is miserable, that's her own fault. That's not for you to think about. You need to talk to him.”
“How?” I asked.
“You said you have his number,” she said.
“If I call him, he'll flip. He doesn't know about the number. He already thinks I'm crazy. There's no way I want him to think I'm a crazy stalker. He'd just hang up anyway.”
“He's in Pennsylvania, right?” she asked.
“Yes, why?” I asked.
“Go there. It's not that far away, a few hours maybe,” she said.
“Crazy stalker,” I reminded her.
“Be the pain in the ass he thinks you are,” she said with a chuckle. “He can't turn you off or hang you up. He'll have no choice but to hear you out.”
“What am I going to say?” I asked.
“That's for you to figure out,” she said with a smile. “You have the whole drive to think about that. Go get some sleep and head out first thing in the morning. I'll take care of Jackson.”
“Grandma,” I said, ready to argue it with her. “I have work to do.”
“Don't give me any excuses, Lauren,” she said. “I don't think you'll miss much work being gone one day. You need to get your head straight before you screw up the job I've been hearing about forever. When you come back, you need to be able to get back to work or give up. The choice is yours. Now get your ass to sleep. You better be gone when I wake up tomorrow.”
�
��But,” I began, but she cut me off.
“Go,” she said sternly. “It's obvious that you need to figure this out. The sooner the better. Tomorrow is soon enough. Off to bed.”
I stood up and hugged her tight.
“Where would I be without you?” I asked.
“There's no need to talk about that,” she said, as she pulled away and motioned toward the doorway. “Bed.”
I was up, dressed, and on my way early the next morning. How I manged to fall asleep, I didn't know, but I was able to get a couple of hours in before my eyes were open wide again. My stomach felt sick, and I wanted to back out. The only thing stopping me was my grandma. She would have pushed and pushed until I finally gave in anyway. She was always right, so I decided to trust her opinion on the subject.
The drive wasn't too bad. It was actually much better than I thought. I was barely off the highway at all. The closer I got, the more questions ran through my mind. Would he be alone? What if someone else was there? Would he even answer the damn door? Would he freak out and act like I was crazy?
My stomach was in knots when I parked my car just outside of his apartment. It seemed to be in a good neighborhood, but I was still surprised. I'd expected him to live somewhere fancy, like a huge building with his place on the top floor. That wasn't the case at all. It was just an average looking place, like one that I'd live in if I had my own place.
Halfway up the walk, I realized that I was no better than him. I'd just judged him the same way he'd judged me. I shook my head at my thoughts and continued walking. When I lifted my hand and knocked on the door, I felt like I was going to lose it. Please don't be a jerk and turn me away, I pleaded in my mind with the man on the other side of the door. At least, I hoped it was him.
Chapter 6
Lance
I barely slept a wink, no idea why. Every time my eyes closed, I saw her face. Her being the good Lauren, not the evil one. Just the thought made me laugh. Anyway, I was up and ready to work. I'd made myself some coffee and just sat down at my desk. The first thing I did was look for a message I thought for sure would be waiting, but there was none. Good, I thought. Maybe she got the point. Maybe I'd be able to get through the day without having to see a reminder of her. That would be a nice change. I opened the stuff I needed on my screen and had the papers I'd been using next to me. My hand went through my hair, and I realized I really needed to get it cut. That shit was getting long. What was going on with me? I wasn't usually one to just let it all go, but there I was in sweats, no shirt, and morning messy hair. If I was lucky, maybe my family would leave me alone for the weekend as well. If so, I was going to work my ass off all weekend and finally make some progress. I wanted to beat her ass more than ever. That job was mine.
Hacked by Love, Part 3 Page 2