I'd gone back to playing with Jackson. Then I heard the bedroom door open. Lance walked out in a pair of sweats, and my eyes went straight to the v leading into them.
“Don't leave,” he said in a deep but tired tone.
“What?” I asked.
“I don't want you to go,” he said.
“You don't get it,” I said.
“What don't I get exactly?” he asked, as he walked over and let his body fall onto the couch.
I turned away and walked into the kitchen.
“Lauren,” he snapped, as he came around the corner and walked up behind me. “Tell me.”
I shook my head but didn't speak. When his hands touched my shoulders, I felt the tears I'd been fighting slip from my eyes. He turned me around and instantly had concern in his eyes.
“Talk to me,” he said. “What don't I get?”
“What happens when you're tired of having toys around, Lance?” I began, as my tears continued to fall. “I don't have a job. When I moved here, I quit doing side jobs. This job is what I've worked so hard for. It's my only chance to give Jackson what he deserves.”
Lance opened his mouth to say something, but I put my hand up and he stopped.
“Your family is all I know here. It's not my home. I don't have one anymore. I lost everything I knew as family and home. I don't belong anywhere. Moving there is going to be no different than starting someplace else. I was supposed to come here until I could get on my feet. This job is that way, Lance. Don't you see that? I can't stay here forever. What's going to happen when you decide you finally want a relationship and not just a friend with benefits? It's going to be so damn hard right now. I can't imagine what it would be like later. Jackson is getting way too close to you and your family. Your parents have been amazing. Did you hear it today? Did you hear Jackson call your dad grandpa? Did you see the smile on your dad's face? I couldn't take it. You're so damn lucky to have what you do, but I can't let him get any more attached. He's already had to deal with enough, and he's so damn young. It's not just going to break my heart when whatever we have going on is over. I have to think about him. We've already both gotten way too comfortable here.”
“Don't go,” he said.
“Did you even hear what I just said, Lance?” I asked.
“Yes, you said it would break your heart,” he said. “You have feelings for me.”
I shook my head and looked down at my feet.
“Of course I do,” I said. “You're the only one I've been with since I was sixteen.”
“Then don't leave,” he said, as if it were that easy.
“If I turn this down, I'll never have an opportunity to make Jackson proud.”
“You don't think he could be proud of you here?” he asked.
“Not like he would there,” I said.
Lance nodded and I could have sworn I saw hurt in his eyes. Then it was gone, and something else was there. He stood a bit taller and looked down at me with a look that made me shudder.
“So we're not good enough for you here,” he said.
Then he turned and began to walk away.
“Lance,” I said. “That's not what I meant.”
He stopped but didn't turn around.
“Do what you want,” he said. “I can't make you stay here with me. Just know that you're not the only one you'll be hurting if you leave.”
Then he was gone. When I knocked on the bedroom door to let him know the pizza was ready, he didn't answer. When I turned the knob on the door, it was locked.
I fed Jackson and picked at my own food, but Lance was all I could think about. What did he mean I wasn't the only one that would be hurt? Was he talking about Jackson? Was he talking about himself? He had gotten pissed about Eric. He'd even mentioned him when I told him they'd offered me the job. My mind was a mess. I had a decision to make, and it wasn't an easy one. It was one that was going to change my life either way.
I got Jackson ready and put him to bed. When I walked up to Lance's bedroom door and turned the knob, I was surprised that it opened. I quietly changed and slid into the bed under the covers. There was no way I wanted to wake him up. I was already a mess and didn't need any help making it worse. He lifted his arm, wrapped it around me, and pulled me close without a word. Once again, I realized how safe he made me feel. He saved me once. I don't know what I would have done without him.
I stared up at the ceiling most of the night weighing out my options. Taking the job would put an end to so many of my concerns. I'd have a job, a place to live, and a way to take care of Jackson. It was really an obvious decision. I'd also be walking away from Lance. We weren't committed to each other in any way, but he made me feel things I never thought I could feel. Could I stay and risk my son's future for my own heart? There was no way to know what would happen between Lance and me. He could change his mind as soon as someone better came along. I was so confused when it came to him. His family was amazing, and they treated us really good, but would that all stop the second whatever it was that was going on between their son and me was over? Could I take the job and leave not knowing what would have happened if I would have stayed?
When I opened my eyes, I looked over and Lance was gone. I hadn't even felt my eyes close. There was light coming in through the window. Where was he? I got up and walked over to look in Jackson's room, but he was gone. When I walked into the living room, my heart melted. Lance was on the couch with Jackson in his arms. The television was on, but they were both asleep. He'd gotten up with him for me. The sight in front of me pulled at my heart, and Lance's words came back to me. Sure, I'd have the job of my dreams. I'd be able to give Jackson everything he could ever want except for one thing, time with me. I looked back down at the man that owned my heart and the boy that I would do anything for and knew I had to take the risk, for both of us.
I grabbed my phone, walked back into Lance's bedroom, and sat down on the bed. My heart was racing. Was I doing the right thing? Shit! I finally got up the nerve and made the call.
“Hello, Lauren,” the man answered with a happy sound in his voice. “I hope you're calling to give me some good news. Will you be joining our team?”
I sat frozen for a moment.
“Lauren,” he said sounding a little less happy.
“I'm sorry,” I said. “I'm going to have to turn it down.”
“Seriously?” he asked.
“Some things have changed in my life, and I need to stay where I am for now,” I said. “I really am sorry. I'd love to work with you again, I just can't leave right now.”
“What is wrong with you two?” he mumbled.
“What?” I asked.
“You both acted like this job was the only thing you wanted in life, and you've both turned it down.”
“Lance turned it down?” I asked, feeling completely confused.
“He did,” the man said. “He never even gave it a second thought. As soon as I called him, he told me no. I even told him to think on it, but he said he didn't need too. When you agreed to call me back today, I was hopeful.”
“You offered him the job before you offered it to me?” I asked.
“I called him about an hour before I called you,” he said. “Please don't get the wrong idea, Lauren. We were giving you both a job. You two did amazing work. You started out obviously not liking each other, but it was also obvious that you came together to find the answer. That was what made our decision. You worked as a team. That's what we want. If you change your mind, let me know. I do look forward to working with you in the future.”
I hung up the phone feeling more confused than ever. He'd turned down the job, his dream job. He'd done it right away. He hadn't even needed to think about it. Why?
When I walked out of the room in total shock, I saw Lance standing in the kitchen, making coffee, with his back to me. Without thinking, I walked up behind him, ran my hands down his back and around his waist, and leaned my head against his shoulder.
“You tur
ned it down,” I said. “They offered you the job, and you turned in down without a second thought. Is that true?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I couldn't leave you two,” he said.
“You have feelings for me?” I asked.
He turned in my arms and lifted my chin until our eyes connected.
“I love you,” he said.
“What?” I asked, again feeling totally shocked.
“Your mom was wrong,” he said. “I want you, both of you. I love you, Lauren. I love Jackson too.”
Tears poured from my eyes. He said he loved me. I couldn't believe it. He loved us. He took my cheeks in his hands and crashed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands dove into his hair, and I kissed him back harder and with more passion than I ever had before. His hands moved down, grabbed my ass, and lifted until I wrapped my legs around his waist. Then he carried me to the bedroom and showed me just how much he meant it.
We both collapsed on the bed with our limbs tangled together. I turned in his arms, leaned up on my elbow, brushed his hair out of his eyes, and looked into them.
“They were offering us both a job,” I said.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Does that change your mind? We could go there together.”
“It doesn't,” he said. “I want Jackson here around my family. If we're both working there, he'll be in daycare and we'll barely see him. If we're here, he'll be home with you while I'm at work.”
“What about while I'm at work?” I asked.
“You don't need to work,” he said.
“Yes, I do,” I said. “I need to contribute, Lance. I'm not just going to live off of you. I can't do that.”
“How about this,” he said. “You stay home until Jackson starts school next year. Then you can work with James. He asked me not long ago if you'd be interested in a job.”
“Why didn't you tell me?” I asked. “Wait, why didn't you tell me about turning the job down?”
“I wanted you to make your own decision. I didn't want to say anything that might change your mind for any reason.”
“You really don't want to go?” I asked. “Not long ago, you said that was the only thing on your list you had left to accomplish. There is no way I want you to give that up because of us.”
“My list changed the day you sat your ass down next to me in that bar,” he said. “We need to do what's best for Jackson and that is raising him here with my family. Don't think of it as you living off me. Think of it more as you living beneath me.”
He rolled us so I was on my back and he was hovering over me.
“See,” he said with a smile. “Living beneath me.”
“You're something else,” I said with a laugh.
“You can always go hang out with my sister and ogle baseball players all day,” he said with a jealous look in his eyes.
“You're the only one I want to ogle. I love you,” I said, as I grabbed hold of his hair and pulled his mouth to mine. “You and your crazy family.”
“Say it again,” he said, as his hips moved forward and his already hard cock rubbed against me.
“I love you,” I said.
He spread my legs with his knee and I felt the tip of his cock against my entrance.
“Again,” he said, as he grabbed my leg and lifted my ass off the bed.
“I love you, Lance Smith,” I cried out, as he thrust into me in one quick movement. “Fuck! I love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby,” he said, as he claimed my body as his. “You're mine. I'll never do anything to screw that up. Just so you know, I'll kick all those baseball players' asses if I need to.”
When we finally fell back down onto the bed again, I closed my eyes so thankful for the man next to me. He was mine, and he'd never know just how much he meant to me.
Chapter 24
Lance
We spent the next month getting into a new flow. I worked each weekday with James, and Lauren stayed home with Jackson. I was really getting used to having dinner as soon as I walked in each night. My mom had invited the two of them out with her from time to time, and Jackson asked all the time to go stay with my parents. They'd even turned my bedroom into his. It was strange to see him sitting on my dad's lap watching baseball with him. I knew I'd have to watch that shit when he got older. My boy would not be pushed into anything he didn't want. He could do whatever he wanted, I'd make damn sure of that.
I think Lauren was beginning to understand why Sammie had kept the news of her pregnancy from my parents for so long. She'd get a text at least once a week from Sammie asking if she could bring Jillian over to hang out with Jackson. It was more about running from my dad than it was letting her daughter play. She'd complain to Lauren the entire time she was there. Lauren said she understood. She also said she would have loved it if her dad had been there for her pregnancy. I felt so bad that she'd been dealt two shitty parents when I'd been able to get two amazing ones. Each time Sammie was there, James ended up coming over after work as well. Those two had me laughing so hard when they talked about my dad being up their asses all the time. It was nice seeing Lauren hanging out with my sister here and there. They were beginning to become good friends. The only time I didn't appreciate it was when my sister would call and ruin a perfectly good moment, if you know what I mean. I'd even turned the phone on vibrate and left it in the kitchen a few nights. It was like Sammie could sense exactly when to call. The woman never shut up long enough for Lauren to get her off the phone.
Jilly and Jackson were three years apart, but he loved when she was around. I think he felt like a big brother. I knew the poor girl was going to have one heck of a time trying to date when she was older. Between all the men in the family, the punks wouldn't stand a chance. We'd gotten a bed and dresser on one side of the office so she could have her own little space at our place when she was there, which was a lot.
Everything was perfect. Lauren was one of us, there was no doubt about that. She smiled a little more each day. I noticed she barely ever mentioned her mom anymore, and that made me happy. She deserved so much more, and I hoped she felt she was getting that with us. Every single one of us loved her and Jackson. My dad gave her shit all the time, just like he did us. My mom was even beginning to get in on the action. Lauren wasn't the least bit fazed with the whole ballplayer thing anymore. To her, my dad and James were just like anyone else. She didn't hesitate to take Jackson out into the yard and throw the ball around with all of them. I joined in a few times too. It shocked the shit out of my dad which only made me laugh. Lauren truly was part of the family.
My mom called Lauren to invite us to dinner. Of course, she didn't know that I was the one that set it up in the first place. I'd never been so damn nervous in all my life. Lauren must have sensed it. She kept asking me if I was okay. I told her I was, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I was so worried she was going to turn me down. She'd been through more than she ever should have been, and her mom had her convinced that no man was going to love her. As much as I told her I did, I could always see a bit of doubt in her eyes. It was like she was always waiting for someone to pull the rug out from under her. It broke my heart knowing she felt that way, and I knew one day she'd know she was more loved than she could ever dream. Little did she know, I would have done anything for her without a second thought. She was it. She was mine.
Dinner was over and we were all still at the table. I stood up knowing that I was about to take a step I thought I wouldn't take for years to come with the last person I ever thought I'd be taking it with. When I looked down at Lauren and my parents went silent, she looked up at me with a worried look on her face. I went down on one knee in front of her, and Jackson came over to stand beside me.
“You drove me crazy for years through my computer. I knew I was going to meet you one day, and I was going to take you down. When I met you in that bar, there was something th
ere. There was something different about you. When I walked into that meeting and learned that you, the woman from the bar, were the same person that had messed with me all those years, I didn't know what to think. You drove me crazy. I couldn't get you out of my head. The harder I tried to forget about you, the more I knew that I needed you. When you showed up at my apartment, I couldn't believe it. I knew that I needed to walk away, but I couldn't do it. When your grandma died, I didn't think you needed me, but I had to go to you. I'm so glad I did. I'm so damn glad you agreed to move here, and I'm just as glad that you turned that job down. I can't imagine my life without the two of you in it, and I can't imagine being anywhere but here. The two of you are my family. You're theirs too. I love you both more than I ever thought I could love anyone.”
I pulled the ring box out of my pocket and handed it to Jackson. He opened it and held it up to Lauren.
“Will you marry Lance?”
Lauren's eyes were wide, as she looked down at the ring in Jackson's hands.
“Really?” she asked, as she covered her mouth.
“What do you mean really?” I asked.
“You want to marry me?” she asked.
“More than anything in this world,” I said.
“Yes,” she said with tears in her eyes. “All those times I messed with you, I felt like someone was there. You saved me. I don't know where I would have been without you. You were there for me when nobody else was. I love you so much, Lance Smith. I'd love nothing more than to be your wife.”
My parents, James, and Sammie all stood up and walked toward Lauren. Jackson looked over at me with a smile so wide.
“She said yes, Daddy,” he said.
Everyone stopped and silence filled the air. I couldn't stop the tears as they started.
Hacked by Love, Part 3 Page 14