by C. J. Harper
‘I’m going to die,’ he says.
‘We’ll be back at the hospital soon then someone can take a look at your head.’
‘It’s not my head I’m worried about, it’s your driving.’
‘If you don’t like it then you can drive.’
‘My vision is blurred.’
‘Then you’re stuck with me.’
‘I said my vision was blurred, that doesn’t mean I couldn’t drive better than you are.’
Despite his protests he slumps back on the seat and closes his eyes again. If he’s recovered his sarcasm, he can’t be too ill.
Finally, we reach the edge of the ghost-city where the hospital is, but my heart is pounding because the light is definitely going. I’ve got a very good memory. I know exactly the way to get back to the hospital and as we get closer I drive faster and get less careful. I swing round the last corner hard and the thing that I had been promising myself wouldn’t happen, happens; I slam straight into another car.
‘Efwurd!’ Ven says as he’s catapulted into the seat in front of him. I’m thrust forward and an airbag pops up in my face.
Everything stops.
My seat belt is digging into me. I struggle backwards and beat down the airbag so I can look out of the window.
The other driver is about ten years old. His mouth is stretched into an ‘O’; he obviously wasn’t expecting another car on the road either. He doesn’t seem to be injured.
Behind me Ven is muttering, ‘I should never have let you drive. How could you crash?’ which suggests he’s fine too.
I haven’t got time for this. It’s undeniably dark now. I have to get to Kay. The hospital is at the end of the road. I fling the car door open and start running.
My knee jars agonisingly every time my foot hits the ground. I screw up my face and push myself to keep up the pace. Is she all right? I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that idiot has put Kay’s life in danger just because he’s got some paranoid idea we’re from the Leadership.
The hospital looms up in front me. Don’t stop, don’t stop, is all I have the energy to think as I force my leaden legs towards it. I fix my eyes on the space between the two buildings. There’s nothing but the surging sound of blood in my ears and the alleyway in front of me. I power down the narrow space past the closed door that Paulo let us in last night and to the back entrance that we came out of this morning. I hammer on the door. Come on, come on. I shove past someone with a gun and I’m vaguely aware of someone else calling, ‘Don’t shoot him!’ but my whole focus is on getting up the stairs. My breath is coming in gasps. I feel like my lungs are ripping. Please let her be alive. I run down the corridor so fast that I can’t stop and I slam into the door of the lock-up room. I hammer with my fists.
‘Kay! We’re back! Don’t hurt her!’
I reach for the handle, I don’t expect it to be unlocked, but it is and the door swings open.
The room is empty.
I start throwing open doors all down the corridor and shouting Kay’s name. I can’t find her. When I get back to the top of the stairs, Ven is struggling up the last few steps.
‘Where is she?’ I say, grabbing him. ‘What the hell have they done with her?’
Ven looks down at my hands on his shirt.
‘If they’ve hurt her, I swear I will kill you.’
‘Don’t threaten me,’ Ven says slowly.
He still thinks that he can intimidate me. ‘I’ll do more than threaten you.’
Ven pulls a face of tired resignation like I am a pestering little kid.
Rage explodes inside me and I spring forward and pin him against the wall. ‘Listen to me. I know that when you look at me you see this gangly, cowardly boy, but let me tell you this: when it comes to Kay it doesn’t matter how thin or how weak I am. I am quite capable of murdering anyone who hurts her. Do you understand? If someone has harmed her, I will kill you.’ The words have come pouring out of my mouth. I am so blisteringly angry that time has slowed down while my mind gallops ahead. I see Ven in perfect clarity. I am going to make him pay and nothing will stop me.
He looks past me, over my shoulder. ‘I think he likes you,’ he says to someone behind me.
I swing round.
It’s Kay.
She’s all right. My Kay is stood with Paulo and she is most definitely still alive. Ven has a big fat grin on his face. He thinks it’s funny. He has completely forgotten that I rescued him and he thinks nearly having Kay killed is funny. I thrust my face close to his.
‘I’m not here for your amusement,’ I say. ‘I saved your life earlier. Only an idiot could still believe that we’ve got anything to do with the Leadership. We could help bring those bastards down, but if you don’t start treating us with respect we’re leaving.’
Ven wipes a fleck of my spit from his face and shrugs. ‘Fine.’ He sidesteps away from me. ‘From now on I’ll treat you the same way I treat everybody else in the Resistance.’ He limps off down the corridor and mutters, ‘Although I wouldn’t exactly call that respect.’
‘Bastard,’ I say. ‘Conceited, moronic, arrogant, heartless, bastard.’ There’s so much anger in me that I can’t contain it. A red wave whips through me and I kick the wall. ‘Bastard, bastard, bastard.’
‘Blake,’ Kay says.
With a huge effort I manage to relax my shoulders and look at her.
‘What?’ I say, but I can feel my venom ebbing.
‘What happened?’ she touches my face.
I must look a right state. My hair is full of plaster and I imagine there are bruises on my face. I don’t know where to begin about the factory.
‘I’ll tell you later,’ I say eventually.
Paulo clears his throat. ‘You both need to come with me.’ He looks apologetic.
‘Are you locking us up again?’ I ask. ‘Because—’
‘I thought maybe you should eat,’ he interrupts.
‘Oh. Okay.’
So we meekly follow Paulo downstairs. Solar lanterns are positioned on each landing, but they are far enough apart that at the mid-point between each floor the darkness takes over and I have to be careful not to trip on any of the pieces of plaster littering the steps.
‘This place is a mess,’ Kay says.
I can just imagine what Ven’s response would be to that remark, but Paulo says, ‘We move around a lot. Housekeeping isn’t our top priority. Don’t worry, the kitchens are clean.’
I’m so hungry I hardly care.
‘Did you really save Ven?’ Paulo asks.
‘Yes, I damn well did. I could have left him. He’ll have to give up on this Leadership spies nonsense now.’
‘Did he say that?’ Kay asks.
‘Say what?’ I ask. ‘That he was an idiot? No, but he knows he made a mistake.’
‘The thing is,’ Paulo says, ‘we were told a pair of spies, a boy and a girl, were going to turn up here pretending to be from an Academy. You can see why Ven was suspicious when you told us that’s where you come from.’
I think of words other than ‘suspicious’ to describe Ven’s behaviour, but clearly this is the closest to an apology that we’re going to get.
Paulo leads us into the old hospital cafeteria. High above us, the ceiling sags in places, and dark stains crawl across the walls, but at least the hexagonal tables and plastic chairs look clean. Although the room is empty, the smell of cooked vegetables and the clanking of saucepans and chinking of crockery coming from the kitchen suggests that food is on its way.
‘I just need a word with Ven about all this,’ Paulo says, walking away. He sticks his head through the kitchen door, says a few words and then leaves the cafeteria. A serving hatch connecting to the kitchen slides open. We can’t see anyone, but clearly Paulo has got someone watching us. It’s so ridiculous that I laugh.
‘This is crazy. After everything I’ve been through for that idiot today,’ I say. ‘I should have smacked him while my anger was overriding my natural cowardice.’
Kay smiles. ‘You were going to do fighting for me,’ she says.
‘Of course I was.’
‘You hate fighting. You must really big hate him.’
She looks at me. I thought she might be dead, but she’s not, she’s here, with me, her face all lit up. The curve of her bottom lip sends a jolt right through me. Without thinking, I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her gently to me. ‘It’s not about him, it’s about you. I’ll always fight for you.’
‘You’re nice.’ She gives me a look that makes my fingertips fizz.
The kitchen door behind her swings open and someone comes out carrying a stack of plates. We separate. I can feel colour rushing to my cheeks. When they’ve gone back into the kitchen Kay touches my arm. ‘You’re nice,’ she repeats, ‘but when I’m there you should let me do the front fighting.’
I grin. ‘Okay, I’ll hang around in the background scorching people with my deadly wit.’
We’re staring at each other again.
I’m going to kiss her.
My heart swoops around my chest. She smiles wide just for me. I lean towards her and our lips touch. Great bolts of happiness streak through me. I reach out and fit my hand to the nape of her neck. She presses against me. Our mouths open and when her tongue touches mine something cracks open inside of me and I want her so badly. I want—
A group of people come into the cafeteria. I break away from Kay, my heart still thundering. Paulo reappears and ushers us to one of the tables which is laid with bowls, spoons and a basket of bread.
‘Ven says you’re on trial,’ he tells us. ‘You don’t have to be locked up but . . .’
‘You’re watching us,’ I finish for him.
Paulo shrugs.
‘Blake saved Ven!’ Kay says. ‘It’s not . . . It’s not being . . .’ Kay looks to me for the words she wants.
‘It lacks gratitude,’ I say.
Paulo snorts. ‘This is as grateful as Ven gets.’
Which is the first thing he’s said that suggests that he isn’t entirely oblivious to the fact that Ven is an arrogant idiot.
Paulo goes to help distribute the dishes of food around the tables. I wonder what he really thinks of Ven. How come Ven gets to boss him about anyway?
‘He should stand up to Ven,’ I say to Kay.
‘I think it was him who didn’t let them kill me like you were thinking. I could hear some person saying, “It’s getting too dark and you know what he said.” And then Paulo came to that locking room and taked me away to another place. I think he was hiding me and then we heard you shouting.’ She tightens her ponytail. ‘So Paulo doesn’t all times do the thing that Ven says.’
‘Who is Ven to be telling people what to do anyway?’ I ask.
‘I think he’s important,’ Kay says.
‘Do you think maybe he’s the son of the man in charge?’
Kay catches my eye and I realise what I’ve said. ‘Yes, okay, being the son of the man in charge hasn’t exactly given me power and influence.’ My lips twitch. ‘And then there was the being shot at, the imprisonment, and that time they erased my life.’
Kay smiles. ‘Yeah, I thought The Leader’s son would be getting me all nice food and things to wear. But you get me crawling in a tunnel and chased by the guards.’
I shake my head in mock shame. ‘I’m such a catch.’
Kay laughs and as she does she clutches my arm. Even after today, just being near her makes me feel good.
‘You don’t have to have influence. I like you with no influence.’
She makes me feel like the most important person in the world.
A boy with curly hair reaches between us to put a huge lidded tureen down on the table.
‘Dig in,’ he says pulling out a chair for himself and sitting down. ‘You must be Blake and Kay. I’m Toren.’
I don’t know whether to smile at him or not. I don’t know where we are with these people. But Toren beams unreservedly at me while cramming a piece of bread into his mouth, so I manage a half-smile in return.
I lift the lid of the tureen and serve us a portion of the stew inside. After months of Academy slop I can’t wait to eat a real meal. Kay is watching me carefully and I realise with a stab that she is used to eating at the Academy, where they expect the Specials to gulp down slop directly from a feeding nozzle. I lift my spoon and give her an encouraging smile. She follows my lead and we both take eager gulps of stew.
‘I see you’ve made yourself at home.’ It’s Ven. His head is bandaged and he a little looks better. He sits down heavily.
‘Shouldn’t you be in sick bay?’ Toren asks.
I don’t hear Ven’s reply because I’m watching the rest of Resistance swarm into the room. They chat and jostle as they take their seats and I can tell by the way that they attack their food that mealtimes are looked forward to. But something is weird. Something that’s been bugging me since we got here.
‘Where are the adults?’ I say.
Kay breaks off talking to Paulo, who has sat down next to her. She glances around the room. The youngest person I can see is a little girl of four or five who is struggling to handle her cutlery, but even Ven can’t be more than twenty.
‘There aren’t any,’ Ven says, turning to face me. ‘I don’t know if you were born with this mistrust of what others say, or if it’s a result of the shunning that you’ve doubtless experienced during your life, but I meant it in the car when I said I’m in charge.’ He leans back in his chair. ‘I’m the oldest person here.’
‘What happened to all the grown-ups?’ I ask. It crosses my mind that maybe Ven has led some horrible rebellion where all the adults were massacred.
Ven stretches his arms above his head. ‘In your previous life as a Learning Community puppet, at what age do students leave the padded bosom of your luxurious existence?’
Why can he never just answer the question? And I notice that he now seems to have accepted that I really did come from a Learning Community. ‘I don’t see what that—’
‘What age?’
‘Twenty-one, but—’
He turns to Kay. ‘And what about you, my elven friend? Remind us what age the Specials get shipped off to the factory.’
I know that Kay doesn’t know what elven means, but her expression suggests that she doesn’t like the sound of it. ‘Seventeen,’ she says with tight lips.
‘What age do you think we start work here?’ Ven asks.
I can see where this is going. There’s no need for him to labour his point. All I did was ask a simple question. ‘Eighteen months,’ I say.
‘Seven. Everyone here over the age of seven has a job to do. When you reach thirteen you can be sent on a mission – and from the fun we had earlier trying to prove your point, you’ll remember that those can be life threatening.’
Trying to prove my point? Is he blaming me for everything that happened earlier?
Ven stabs a chunk of carrot with his fork. ‘Thirteen, we send you out and expect you to stay alive.’ He bites hard into the carrot. ‘So don’t tell me that there are no “grown-ups” here.’
‘You know what I mean,’ I persist. ‘Why is there no one middle-aged here?’
‘I find it odd that you’re so concerned about the old folk. If what you’ve told us is true then you’re not exactly one to recognise the authority of the elderly.’
I bristle at the ‘if what you’ve told us is true’. But it’s funny that he should think of me as a rebel. Until a few months ago I was a model student who did everything asked of him. I don’t reply. I’m realising that the way to handle Ven is to wait. He’ll tell you what he wants to tell you and nothing more. Everyone else at the table is waiting too.
Ven takes two more leisurely mouthfuls. ‘The life expectancy of a Resistance member . . .’ he pauses to swallow ‘. . . is nineteen years. And that’s not just because we tend to get shot or beaten to death when the Leadership catch us.’ He leans close to Kay and says in a stage whisper,
‘It’s also because this place is slowly poisoning us all.’
‘What?’ Kay says.
My face is rigid with horror. ‘Poison?’
‘That’s right. You didn’t think that the Leadership would let us have this chunk of land unless there was something wrong with it, did you? Something bone-meltingly, lung-charringly wrong with it.’ He slaps me on the back. ‘Deep breaths, young man, deep breaths.’
I look to Paulo for an explanation.
He shrugs. ‘The weapons the Greater Power used, they’re still affecting the area. It’s bad for your health.’
‘That’s horrible.’ I find myself taking shallow breaths as if I can somehow avoid inhaling whatever toxins are in the air. We’ve got to get out of here and soon.
‘Being at here is killing you?’ Kay asks.
Paulo nods. ‘We have to make the most of the time that we have.’
‘Paulo’s death sentence makes him want to stand about admiring sunsets,’ Ven says. ‘Personally, it makes me want to shoot stuff.’
‘Why are you staying here when you know you’re going to die?’ Kay says.
Toren seems puzzled by her horror. ‘This is our home,’ he says.
‘But there are other places to live,’ I say. ‘You could live on the other side of the fence.’
‘I’d rather strive to do right for nineteen years than live a comfortable lie till I grow old,’ Paulo says.
I watch Kay’s face as she takes this sentiment in.
I’m surprised that Ven isn’t spouting more of his opinions. ‘You’re strangely quiet,’ I say to him.
‘Couldn’t speak.’ He shakes his head. ‘The emotion of Paulo’s speech – it . . .’ he wipes away an imaginary tear ‘. . . it had me choking on my own vomit.’ He pushes back his chair and stands up.
He really is nasty.
‘I still don’t understand why someone like you is even part of the Resistance,’ I say.
He picks up his bowl and as he’s walking away he turns back. ‘Like I said, I like shooting stuff.’