“Mary. I can’t thank you enough for all that you have done for Alex and me.”
“Alex is a good friend, and when she told me the story of her time with you I could not help but have compassion for her situation.”
“Not mine?” he said.
“Yours as well.”
“You know that she wants me to leave her.”
Mary sighed.
“How can I do it?”
“Because you must.”
He shook his head. “What a tangle. My thoughts are like the knot garden at that house, the childhood home of your queen.”
“Hatfield?”
“The same.” He noticed Mary’s tired face and said, “Forgive me for keeping you. You must be depleted of strength. Please go and rest yourself.”
“I’ll come back for you when I can.”
He nodded and sagged back on the bed when she left. He stared at the ceiling as the sun rose, casting shafts of light across the wooden planks of the floor. Hampden Manor was a country house, not a castle, and wood and glass were much more in evidence than they were back home in Ireland. He did not miss the damp chill of stone floors and mossy walls, but he did miss Aidan and Rory, the comfort of their camaraderie in this pivotal moment of his life.
He had a son. His blood would endure, mixed with the fragile ichor of the child’s English mother, down through the generations to a time, perhaps, when their descendants would not be enemies and could live together in peace.
He did not think he could sleep, but he must have, for when Mary touched his shoulder the sun was higher, and its buttery light spread across the bed.
“She’s awake,” Mary said. “You can come and see her now.”
Burke leaped off the bed, stopping only to pull a shirt over his head, and then followed her down the hall to Alex’s room.
His first thought upon entering was that she looked very small and white in the large bed, the baby even tinier nestled into the curve of her arm. As he approached, her gaze lifted from the child to him and she smiled dreamily.
“What do you think of him?” she asked as Burke bent to kiss her forehead.
Burke gazed at the red, wrinkled face and said, “He looks like a monkey.”
“You’ve never seen a monkey!”
“A little old man, then. A little old man with apoplexy.”
“I think he’s beautiful. See his hair? The same lovely color as yours.”
“Poor little scrapper, he would have done much better to look like you.”
“I’m going to call him Michael. That was your father’s name, wasn’t it?”
Burke nodded mutely.
“It’s a good English name, too. No one will ever know,” she said softly.
“No one will ever know,” he repeated in a despairing tone, clutching her hand.
Alex’s eyes closed and Mary laid her hand on his shoulder. “Best to come away now,” she said.
Burke raised Alex’s hand to his mouth and kissed it, then put it gently back on the bedcover. He touched the baby’s eyes with his second and third fingers, said something in Gaelic and then abruptly left the room.
When Alex awoke again it was late afternoon, and Mary was sitting beside her bed.
“The baby?” she said.
“With the nurse.”
“And Burke?”
Mary’s expression changed.
“He’s gone.”
Chapter 11
Come live with me, and be my love;
And we will all the pleasures prove...
—Christopher Marlowe, “The Passionate Shepherd to His Love”
“Gone?” Alex echoed.
“As you requested,” Mary reminded her.
“But...”
“You didn’t think he would leave so soon?”
Alex looked away.
“You didn’t think he would leave at all?”
“Mary, stop.”
“You can hardly fault him for doing what you asked after you were so insistent upon it.”
“But he only saw the baby once!”
“Would it be easier for him to go if he remained to see the baby on a daily basis?”
Alex closed her eyes. “I can hardly absorb it,” she whispered. “Here and gone, so fast. As if he were a fantasy.”
“He was no fantasy. I saw him, too.”
“Did he say anything to you before he left?”
Mary shook her head. “No.”
Alex was silent for almost a minute and then said, “Would you mind leaving me alone for a time, Mary?”
Mary rose and slipped quietly from the room, closing the door behind her.
Alex turned her face into the pillow and wept.
* * * *
Burke was not gone, or rather, he had not gone far. He was, in fact, in the stables at Hampden Manor, making himself useful. On the day of his son’s birth, instead of setting out on the road, he had convinced Evans to take him on to do whatever work was required in exchange for room and board. The Welshman, who did the hiring for the jobs on the estate outside the main house, saw Burke’s size and apparent agility and looked no farther. Since Tim, the stableboy, lived in the village and went home at night, there was room for another full-time hand.
In the winter no one rode for sport, and Burke correctly guessed that a new mother like Alex would not be taking exercise for a couple of months, until the weather improved. In the meantime, he contented himself with feeding on scraps of information about his lover and son from the casual remarks Evans made: “The mistress has recovered right smartly from the birth” or “The young master is as fair a child as was ever born in this kingdom, I’ll warrant.” Burke listened and said nothing. He filed away all the information and did his assigned chores with efficiency and without complaint. At the end of a couple of months, Evans was pleased at his good fortune in acquiring such reliable help. It enabled him to put his feet up and act in a supervisory capacity while Burke did most of the work. He didn’t know why Burke had turned up after a snowstorm and didn’t ask, afraid that too much curiosity would cause Burke’s ready hands and strong back to disappear as quickly as they had arrived.
Alex, for her part, was lonely. Mary had returned to her own house shortly after Michael was born, and even though the baby kept her busy, the short cold days and long cold nights, with only the servants for company, made her realize fully how much she had lost. She felt housebound and stifled. On the first warm day in early April she announced to Mrs. Curry her intention of taking a ride, and she set out for the stables.
The last of the snow was melting, softening the ground underfoot, and the clumps of forsythia bushes along the path from the house were just bringing forth their yellow buds. Alex’s spirits lifted in the thin sunshine as she listened to the birds and tried not think of where she was and what she’d been doing at the same time the previous year. As she swept through the door into the stable, Evans, who had been seated on a crate, whittling, leapt to his feet.
“My lady,” he said in surprise. “We haven’t seen you down here in a good while. How can I be of service?”
“Good morning, Evans. I thought as the morning was fine I might take a short jaunt, get myself back in riding trim. Which horse might be suitable, do you think?”
Evans cast a brief glance at the stalls and then seemed to have an idea.
“We’ve a new bay, ma’am, with a frisky temperament and a fine step. Would you like to try him out?”
“Very well. Where is he?”
“Being curried in the back. He’ll be all fresh for Your Ladyship. I’ll send the new man out with him.”
“What new man?” Alex asked.
“Oh, a lad I took on over the winter, a good hand with horseflesh. I’ll go and find him.”
Alex tapped her riding gloves against her thigh as she waited for the horse to arrive. She was examining a new bridle hanging on the wall, wondering where Tim was, when she heard a step behind her. She turned to see Burke facing her, holding
the reins of the bay.
She was so astonished that words failed her. He looked wonderful, so healthy and handsome, which didn’t help her self-control. She licked her lips and then said in a carefully controlled voice, “Are you the ‘new man’ Evans described?”
“I am.”
“How new?”
“Almost three months.”
“You’ve been here the whole time. You never left the estate at all?”
He inclined his head.
“Oh, you are a devious man,” Alex said.
“I’d never deny it.”
“Did Mary know?”
“No one knows, except you and me. Evans thinks I came in off the roads and decided to stay until the spring, when traveling would become easier.”
“You did this just to be near me?” she whispered.
“You made it clear you wouldn’t have me in the house.”
The bay whinnied, and Burke stroked its nose. The horse, considerably fatter and happier than it had been in Southampton, stamped its feet, wanting the promised exercise.
“Are you going to turn me out again?” Burke asked.
“I don’t know what to do where you’re concerned. I never have,” she answered softly.
“What do you think of the bay?” Evans said behind them.
“He’s a handsome horse, Evans,” Alex replied, trying to keep her voice level.
“He arrived with Kevin here, looking something the worse for the trip, as did his master,” Evans said, chuckling. “But we’ve built him up, and now he exceeds most of the others in strength and speed, and he’s as keen as a whetstone, too. Takes orders like a military brute, doesn’t he, Kevin?”
“He does,” Burke said.
“What’s his name?” Alex asked, making conversation for Evans’ benefit.
“Dealanach,” Burke said. “Gaelic for lightning.‘“
“That’s a mouthful. I think I’ll call him Dee.”
“He responds to that,” Evans said.
“Since this is my first ride since my confinement, I am loath to go out alone,” Alex said. “I’d like to take Kevin along with me, if you don’t need him.”
Burke was silent, watching her face.
“Certainly, my lady,” Evans said, beaming, glad of the opportunity to display his new assistant as well as the fine new horse.
“I think I’ll ride Dee. Do you have a suitable mount for .. . for Kevin?”
“How about Jasper?”
Burke nodded. “I’ll get him ready.” He selected a bridle from a peg on the tack wall and went down the row of stalls.
“How are you feeling, my lady?” Evans asked. “You gave us all quite a fright when the baby came early. I had a wild ride to get the midwife, that much I can tell you.”
“Yes, and I don’t think I ever thanked you properly for it, Evans, so let me do so now.”
“And the young master?”
“Beautiful. Thriving.”
“Ah, that is happy news. I always ask Mrs. Curry when I see her and she has nothing but good to say of his habits. Sleeps through the night, does he?”
“Yes.”
“You are lucky in that. I remember that my first son was almost a year old before he slept through. Drove my wife, God rest her soul, almost to distraction. Now my daughter, she was quite different. ...”
Burke returned, leading the second horse and sparing Alex a recital on the nocturnal behavior of all six of Evans’ children.
“You’ll be riding astride?” Evans asked Alex, noting her boyish attire.
“Yes, I don’t like sidesaddle unless I am forced into it by my clothing.”
They walked the horses outside, and Evans gave her a leg up while Burke mounted smoothly and turned his horse to watch her. Alex patted the horse’s neck and then kicked him sharply. He surged ahead, sprinting for the road, and Burke had no choice but to follow.
Alex ran him flat out for a couple of miles, throwing up mud and tussocks of grass, not slowing until she reached the edge of the trees bordering Hampden Park. Then she allowed the horse to canter into the shade.
Burke pulled up alongside her. “What were you trying to prove?” he asked. “That you could lose me?”
“That would have been foolish,” Alex said, dismounting and tethering Dee to a tree. “I know no one can outride you.”
“I thought Dee had been turned into a pookah,” Burke said, tying his mount beside hers.
“What’s that?”
“A spirit horse, with breath of fire and crystalline eyes,” he replied, running his hand along Jasper’s flank.
“Evans would be very surprised to find one of those in his stable,” Alex said. She sat on the damp ground and drew up her knees. “You should be ashamed of yourself for taking advantage of a trusting, genial soul like him.”
“I’m not taking advantage of him. He’s getting a powerful load of work out of me. He’s very happy with his bargain. Ask him.”
“That’s not at all what I meant, and you know it,” Alex replied.
Burke knelt in front of her and took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. “Aren’t you happy to see me at all?” he asked quietly.
“Of course I am.”
“Doesn’t seem like it.”
“It’s just that...”
“You thought your problem was solved, and here I am turning up again.”
“That’s not how I would put it.”
“Well?”
“How I am supposed to resist you now?” she burst out. “I’m not pregnant anymore, I can’t use that as an excuse, and you’re no longer half-starved and exhausted. You look like you did in Ireland when I could hardly keep my hands off you!”
He reached for her, but she twisted out of his grasp. “It isn’t fair,” she moaned.
“Don’t resist me,” he said. “Give in.”
“I’m a married woman!”
“Oh, don’t start harping on that string again. You’re about as married as I am, and that’s not much.” He seized her and pulled her down onto the wet grass, crushing her mouth with his.
Alex had known this would happen, she had brought him with her for this reason. She missed him and longed for him so—his touch, his smell, the feel of his mouth on hers. She had conjured them so often in her dreams that the reality was irresistible. She clung to him, yielding, fitting her body to his. He felt her submission and pressed her closer, bearing her down to the ground. Alex sighed, and he pressed his advantage.
Yet when it came right down to it, she couldn’t go through with the betrayal.
“No!” she said, pulling away from him.
“Are you going to give me another speech about your wedding vows?” he demanded, his face inches from hers.
“Let me go or I’ll slap you,” she said between her teeth.
He released her so suddenly that she slid into the muck, splashing her clothes.
“Excuse me, Your Ladyship,” he said bitterly. “I must have gotten the wrong impression, I thought you’d asked for my company. I wager I’m hearing things.”
“I asked for your company, but not this.”
“What did you think was going to happen, with the two of us out here alone? I want you, Alexandra. Why do you ken I’ve been sleeping in that freezing barn for three months, because I like listening to Evans snore?”
“The barn is not freezing, we keep it very warm.” She wiped her clothes ineffectually.
“So, am I being dismissed again?” He stood, hands on hips, surveying her. “Since I am such a temptation, I’m guessing you won’t want me so close by.”
“Don’t ridicule me,” she said, her lower lip trembling.
“Do you think you could restrain yourself until the thaw is over? A couple of weeks, maybe?”
“Oh, shut your mouth.”
“Two weeks?” he persisted.
“Yes, all right, two weeks!” she almost screamed.
“That is kind of you, I’m sure. I will try to keep ou
t of your way until then. I wouldn’t want you to throw yourself on my neck and start the servants talking.”
“You can be such a bastard, Burke,” she said, almost in tears. How dare he act as if she were in the wrong. She was the one trying to honor her vows.
“I’ll see my son before I go,” he said, undoing the knot in his horse’s reins.
“Wait a minute,” Alex said, sitting up.
“I said I’ll see my son, and I’ll pick the time for the visit. Until then don’t disturb yourself. You won’t be bothered by me. If you come to the stables for a ride I’ll stay out of your way, and Evans or Tim can assist you.”
He mounted before she could protest and was off in a flurry of hooves, galloping away.
Alex sat sniveling on the ground, staring down miserably at her soiled clothes and wondering how on earth she was going to explain them to Mrs. Curry.
* * * *
Burke was as good as his word. Alex did not see him again, and it was maddening to know that he was nearby at the stables, within easy reach. She had to restrain herself from going down there several times a day. The certainty that he knew exactly what he was putting her through made her want to kill him and drag him into bed at the same time. A week passed, the weather turned warmer, and by the end of a fortnight Alex jumped every time a door opened or closed. She had no idea when he would appear or how she would explain his presence when he did, but she wanted to see him.
On a crisp day in late April Mrs. Curry came into her room when she was feeding the baby. “Messenger from the queen, my lady,” she said.
Alex handed her the baby and refastened her bodice. “Make sure you rock him before you put him down,” she said. This was supposed to ward off colic.
The housekeeper nodded, cooing to the child.
“You can send him in,” Alex said.
The yeoman of the guard entered as Mrs. Curry left. “Lady Selby,” he said, bowing.
“Good morning.”
“I am requested by Her Majesty to inform you that she requires your presence to attend upon her at Whitehall.”
“I am always happy to do Her Majesty’s bidding,” Alex replied.
The guardsman inclined his head.
“Do you know if a similar message has been sent to Lady Howard?”
The guard looked surprised. “Why, yes, madam.”
The Highwayman Page 19