by Jenika Snow
Always with the guilt trip. Even though it was their fault that they were in this situation, Mona’s mother always seemed to be good at turning things around and making Mona feel like crap.
“I’ll be there.”
The music in the background intensified and Mona knew her mother was placated, for the time being. “Okay, honey, I’ll see you next weekend.”
That was it. No “good luck on your finals,” or “drive home safety.” Mona should have been used to it, but it still stung. This certainly would be a holiday she wouldn’t forget.
Chapter Fifteen
Mona pulled into her mother’s driveway and took a deep breath. She left her car on as she looked at the house she had grown up in. It looked the same, but the snow covering everything made it look clean and wholesome. It went against everything Mona knew about the place.
This was the first time she would be seeing her mother outside of a locked facility. Uneasiness washed through her at the idea that everything would go back to the way it was. Hadn’t she said she wouldn’t go back here? Hadn’t she sworn to herself that she would start anew? If her mother could try to get better then Mona owed it to her to try and patch up their relationship. Her father was another story, though.
She turned off the car, grabbed her bag, and got out of the car. Once her door was shut it took her a moment to get her legs moving toward the front door. The last time she had been to this house was when she had been running away from it.
The front door swung open and her mother stood on the other side watching her. A smile played on her lips and Mona felt a touch of remembrance go through her. She didn’t even recognize her mom. She looked younger, more vibrant. Maybe things were changing?
“Come on, honey, it’s freezing out here.” To emphasize her point she wrapped her arms around herself and started rubbing vigorously.
Mona stepped into the house, knowing that could very well be the worst thing she had ever done.
****
“Mona, will you go to the grocery store and pick me up these ingredients?” Her mother handed her a list. “I thought I had everything I needed for dinner, but come to find out I don’t.”
Several days had passed since Mona returned home. She had successfully managed to stay inside and avoid anyone and everyone. The last thing she needed was to run into people that would further remind her of what she no longer had. Her time with her mother had actually been very pleasurable. They had baked together, played cards, even watched a few sappy holiday movies together. Right now her mother was covered in flour with her hair pinned back and the holiday music blaring in the background. The situation was surreal. Mona knew she couldn’t be cooped up in the house the whole time, but she had hoped.
“Sure.” She grabbed her coat and keys and headed out the door.
The roads were slick as she made her way to the grocery store. When she pulled into the parking lot it was already packed. In and out, Mona. She grabbed a cart on her way in and made a beeline toward the aisles she needed.
With the last item in her cart, she grabbed the shopping list and double checked to make sure she had everything. Confident she hadn’t missed anything, she shoved the piece of paper into her pocket and started pushing the cart. When she rounded the corner her cart slammed into another one, making a loud crashing noise and drawing attention. She felt her face heat as she mumbled her apologies. It wasn’t until she looked up that she realized whose cart she’d crashed into.
Time seemed to stand still. There he stood, one of the two people she prayed she wouldn’t run into when she came back to town. Of course you would see him. Isaac stared down at her with equal surprise. The scent of his cologne immediately surrounded her and it took everything inside of her not to moan in want. It had been so long since she had seen him. Of course he looked the same, although he appeared rougher around the edges, more alluring. He had a day’s worth of stubble across his jaw, but that only intensified the attractiveness of him.
A moment of stunned silence descended upon them and Mona started to become increasingly nervous with each passing second. What could she say? Hi? How have you been? How is Holly? Question after question slammed into her brain, but none of them made it out of her mouth.
“Hi, Mona.”
The way he said her name caused her insides to grow warm and tingly. Stop it right now. She needed to keep her strength, needed to remember that he would soon be a father again and there was no place in his life for her.
“How have you been?”
She stood there like an idiot, her mouth hanging open and her eyes no doubt as big as saucers. Her heart beat hard and fast in her chest as she stared up at him. She had imagined this meeting a million times, but now that she was faced with it she felt like a deer in headlights. Forcing the lump in her throat down, Mona finally formed words.
“I’ve been good, and you?” She licked her dry lips and gripped the handle on the shopping cart, hard. Why was she so nervous?
He shrugged his broad shoulders. “I’ve been better.” Another moment of uncomfortable silence passed between them.
“Listen, Mona…”
She pasted on a fake smile. “It was really good seeing you. Give Holly my regards.” She wanted to ask about Kara, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She didn’t wait for him to reply, but instead walked as fast as she could to the checkout. She resisted the urge to turn around and see if he was watching her. She needed to get out of there and away from Isaac. It was just too damn painful to see him.
****
Mona sat on her bed and stared at her ceiling. All she had been able to think about was her meeting with Isaac the day before. She closed her eyes and imagined him again. His light hair slightly mussed, his seductive blue eyes that reminded her all of the naughty things they had done together, his powerful body that he’d used to thrust in and out of her. Just thinking about it made her wet, a bad reaction when she had no way to ease her suffering. Well, not the way she really wanted too anyway.
The phone ringing pulled her out of her daydream, but she didn’t get up to answer it. A minute passed and then she heard her mother telling her the call was for her. Picking up the phone, Mona lay back down as she held the receiver to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Mona?”
Her eyes snapped open and she sat up. “Kara?” Her pulse quickened.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
Nothing was said for several long moments and finally Mona cleared her throat and spoke. “How are you? It feels like forever since I talked with you.”
“Yeah, it does feel like a long time. I’m doing pretty well, for the most part.”
Mona swallowed at the strange tone in Kara’s voice. No doubt her best friend was thinking about the betrayal. “I’m surprised you’re calling.” Maybe Mona shouldn’t have said anything, but Kara was the last person she’d expected a phone call from.
“Yeah, me too.” There was an awkward stretch of silence and then Kara cleared her throat. “But I’ve been thinking a lot while in school and I think I’m ready for us to talk.”
Mona’s mouth went dry and she swallowed. This was what she had been waiting for, but for the life of her the only response she could mutter was, “Okay.”
“Can you come over tomorrow at about noon?”
Going to Kara’s house was the last place Mona wanted to be, but she wasn’t going to complain about where they met. She only wanted to see Kara and tell her how sorry she was, again.
Chapter Sixteen
Mona took a deep, calming breath and lifted the knocker on Kara and Isaac’s home. She banged it on the door twice and took a step back. Her hands shook so bad she had to clasp them in front of her to keep them still. It was so cold out that Mona’s breaths came out of her in little white clouds. That was what she focused on, those white puffs that surrounded her like a fog. Lord, her heart was beating so fast she thought for sure it would jump right out of her chest.
The first thing that regi
stered in her brain was the lock turning. Why she was so nervous was beyond her. True, things hadn’t gone down very well, but the very thought of seeing Isaac again or Kara frightened her immensely. When the door finally opened Mona stopped breathing. Kara stood on the other side, her eyes looking far too large on her face. It wasn’t the fact that Kara stood in front of her that shocked her, but something far different.
“Kara…” That was the only coherent thing she could get out as she stared at her best friend.
“Come on in, it’s freezing.” Kara stepped to the side and Mona walked in.
The chill that had settled in her bones started to immediately dissipate once the front door was shut. They stared at each other for several long moments, and finally Mona found the strength and courage to say more than just her name.
“Kara, you’re…” Mona glanced down at Kara’s swollen abdomen. Kara instinctively placed her hand over her belly and started rubbing it. “How? I mean, what happened?” Kara breathed out and gestured for them to go into the living room.
They sat on the couch, opposite of each other, and didn’t speak for several long moments. Mona didn’t know if she should be the one to really start talking or if she should let Kara lead. After an internal debate she decided on the latter.
“As you can see I’m pregnant.” Kara said it in the sarcastic way she was known for. “I assure you I didn’t start screwing a million different guys in college.”
“I didn’t think that at all.”
“I know, but that has been the main consensus since I have been back and everyone is seeing this.” She gestured to her belly.
Mona didn’t know if Kara realized she was rhythmically rubbing her belly.
“I’m surprised you hadn’t heard about this.” When Mona shook her head, Kara continued. “I found out I was pregnant shortly after Holly dropped her own bomb about being pregnant.”
Mona swallowed. Hearing Kara say it shouldn’t have made it seem so fresh, but it did. “I’ve been renting an apartment by my school and haven’t been home. This is the first time since I started that I came back.”
“So you haven’t heard anything?” Kara sounded incredulous.
Mona knitted her brows and shook her head. “Besides my best fr…” Mona stopped herself. “Besides you telling me you’re pregnant right now, I’m in the dark about everything that has been happening in this town.”
A moment of silence passed between them and then Kara spilled everything. “Let me start by saying I’m sorry.”
Mona felt her eyes grow wide. “For what?”
“For everything. For not believing you when you warned me about Marcus, for not being there for you when you needed me. I knew you cared about my dad, and even though you two had a relationship behind my back, I had no right to treat you the way I did after you confided in me.” Kara started to tear up, which only made Mona do the same. “You’ve always been there for me, and when my judgment went to shit with Marcus, you were only looking out for me. I love you like a sister, Mona, and I should have given you my support instead of running away.”
Mona was speechless. This certainly wasn’t what she’d expected to hear from Kara. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Can we put what happened behind us? I want to support you in whatever you do, and if that means being with my father, then I support you one hundred percent.”
Mona opened her mouth, but before she could say anything Kara started talking again.
“Don’t respond right away. Just listen to everything and then tell me what you think.” Mona nodded and Kara continued. “Well, when I found out I was pregnant I told Marcus. He denied it was his until his face was blue, of course, but I didn’t care. I knew I would keep this baby and would raise it without him. I didn’t care about being a single mother because that’s what I wanted. Marcus is the last person that should be procreating, but shit happens.”
Kara chuckled softly but it wasn’t one of humor. “My dad wasn’t too pleased, to say the least, but he had his own plate full.” The look of Mona’s face must have spoken volumes because Kara’s expression looked almost sympathetic. “My dad was all gung-ho on taking Marcus to court, but it was like the heavens smiled down on us because shortly after I found out about the baby he was arrested for rape.”
“Oh God, Kara. I’m so sorry.”
Kara shrugged. “I’ve come to grips with it. It is what it is and I can’t change it, but I can make things better for this little one.” Kara smiled broadly as she rubbed her belly some more. “Needless to say, once he was arrested for rape, several more girls stepped forward. He got the maximum and won’t be getting out for a very long time.”
Mona was once again speechless. Things had certainly changed since she had been away. “The house is going to be full with two little babies running around.” Mona swallowed roughly.
“I can’t believe you haven’t heard.”
Mona shook her head. “What else could there possibly be?” Oh God, please don’t tell me Isaac and Holly eloped.
“Holly isn’t pregnant, never was.”
Mona’s heart stopped. “Wh-What?”
“Yeah, the lying bitch made it all up. Apparently she is one of those psycho exes that will do just about anything to be with her obsession.”
“How did you guys find out, well, aside from the obvious?”
“My dad overheard her on the phone talking about needing some ultrasound pictures. I guess she thought she would get pregnant in the meantime and then there wouldn’t be any questions, but once she was caught she couldn’t make up her lies fast enough. You know my dad and how persuasive he is at getting the truth.”
Holy fucking shit. Holly wasn’t pregnant?
“He kicked her ass to the curb and got a restraining order when she wouldn’t leave him alone.” Kara chuckled again and this time it was filled with humor. “She lost her job, and last I heard moved out of state.”
Mona felt her mouth hanging open at everything Kara revealed. Holy shit. “Wow, I really did miss a lot.”
Kara didn’t respond, but instead just stared at her. “I was so pissed at you for keeping that from me, but after all of this happened, I knew that you are my best friend and we have to stick together. Besides, I can’t have a baby without you around to help me. She needs her Auntie Mona.”
“Oh, Kara, I’m so sorry for everything.” Tears tracked down Mona’s face. She got up and sat next to Kara. Wrapping her arms around her best friend, she hugged her until they had no more tears to cry. At that exact moment, the sound of the front door opening broke the silence. Mona and Kara pulled back and wiped the tears away.
“I’ve got some stuff to do upstairs.” Just like that she was gone, leaving Mona alone to face Isaac.
She felt him watching her. She turned and saw him standing in the entryway, staring at her with such intensity that her whole body shook. He still held his briefcase, and with his black pressed suit and blood red silk tie, Isaac looked like power personified. He set the briefcase down took a step toward her. Mona didn’t dare move—she probably couldn’t even if she wanted to.
“I didn’t expect to see you here, ever.”
Neither had she, but a lot of things had come to light in the past half hour. “Kara asked me to come over.” She sounded timid, like she was frightened to even say anything. Her nerves were shot, and the closer he came to her the more the anticipation for what would happen next increased.
He didn’t respond, just nodded once and took a seat across from her, right where Kara had been sitting. What could she say that hadn’t already been said? Although things were different now, nothing had really changed. Despite Kara giving her blessing to a relationship with her father, Mona didn’t know if she and Isaac could rekindle what they once had. It still felt so fresh to her. The love she felt for him still had her dreaming of him at night.
“You’re still the last thing I think about before I go to bed and the first thing on my mind when I wake up.”
He nodded again and ran his hand through his hair. “There is so much I want say to make this right. I tried to call you but your number didn’t work.”
That had been the first thing she had done when she moved into her apartment, changed her number. She wanted a fresh start, and that had seemed like the most logical place to start.
“I assumed you wanted nothing to do with me so I didn’t pursue it, but you have to know that I thought about you, think about you, every single day.”
They didn’t say anything else for a very long time. The silence was almost deafening. Here she sat, hearing the exact thing she had wanted to hear come out of his mouth since she had left, and she sat there like an idiot.
“Things are so much different now, Mona. Kara doesn’t want us to be apart, and neither do I, but I know that you probably need time, and I’m willing to wait, for however long you need.”
Mona stood and sat next to him. He leaned back, looking slightly surprised that she was that close to him.
“It was hard, so very hard being away from you. I don’t know what will become of our relationship.” She stopped talking and stared into his eyes. Could she do this? Really be with Isaac? “I’m willing to try, one step at a time.”
He smiled down at her and lifted his hand. The feel of his finger on her cheek had her closing her eyes and holding back the tears. There was so much more she had to say, so much more she wanted to ask the both of them, but she would take it one day at a time.
“We have all the time in the world, Mona.” His breath teased her lips and then he was kissing her. If she hadn’t been feeling the intense emotions going through her she would have thought it a dream. It seemed like forever since his mouth had been on hers, yet it was still so very familiar.
“I shouldn’t have let you leave that day. I should have fought harder for you.”