*****
As many times as I’ve been hurt, I had yet to figure out how to take it with grace. I fell like anyone else who had made a big mistake would fall—screaming my head off and flapping my arms, hoping to suddenly develop a talent for flying. I hit the ground with a chorus of snaps, groans, and thuds.
The good news is that I didn’t go splat in the street or the sidewalk. Instead, I landed in one of the big bushes that lined the walkway to the building. The bad news was that whatever that bush grew, it had thorns. So in addition to the broken bones that inevitably accompanied a fall like that, I also had a bunch of little thorns stabbing me all over.
I lay there, unable to move for what seemed like a long time. I didn’t know exactly how long it was because I couldn’t raise my hand to see my watch. But, it was long enough for me to spend a little time thinking. Surprisingly, this is not far off from what I expected the night to end. But, how pathetic was that?
Being a C-list Super on probation was one thing. I’d done that for so long that I had a routine. I understood my place in the universe. But this boyfriend/girlfriend thing might be a little too much for me. I couldn’t even get through dinner without falling off a building. This was probably going to end badly—even more badly than lying in a bush full of thorns with a body full of broken bones.
I lay there in the bushes doing my healing thing and wondering if it was time to break up with the nicest guy in the world who just so happened to live two floors up in the building where I lived and worked. How does that work?
As I slowly regained feeling in my body, I decided it was time to face the music. Crawling out of the bush, my hand made contact with something hard and smooth. It was the little ceramic dish that started the whole thing. I grabbed it and considered it a sign. What it was a sign of, I had no idea. But it had to mean something.
*****
“What the hell, Audrey? You were out on the fire escape so long, I went to check on you. Where did you go?”
I made my way back up to Lorrie and Justin’s apartment with the dish that I’d taken a tumble for. I tried to brush the dirt and leaves from my clothes and hair in the elevator ride up. After picking the twigs and thorns from my hair, I hoped I didn’t look like I’d just crawled out of a bush. It would make it a lot harder to do this if I did.
I tried to open the door to Lorrie and Justin’s apartment quietly. I thought maybe I could sneak back in and act like I’d lost track of time out on the fire escape. That plan was blown to pieces because I barely got the door open before it was being yanked from the other side. Mike stood there in the doorway, looking incredibly worried and angry.
I held up the dish. “I dropped this when I was out there on the fire escape and had to go down and get it.”
Behind him, Lorrie came waddling up with a concern look on her face. “Are you OK? You went outside without your coat?”
“I’m so sorry. I dropped your dish.” I handed the dish to Mike who handed it back to Lorrie.
She made a face. “Oh. It’s just an ashtray. You didn’t have to go all the way downstairs to get it. How did you even get out without us seeing —”
“A better question is why did you even leave without saying anything?” Mike interrupted.
“I didn’t want to disturb you guys. You were watching your show and everything. It was just a few minutes.”
Mike’s voice got very quiet. “I’ve been calling your phone for almost an hour.” The quietness worried me more than the questions. They weren’t buying it. Or rather, they knew I was leaving something out and they couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “We should go,” he said to Lorrie.
They disappeared back inside the apartment. I could hear them murmuring something to others and then Mike came back out with our coats. He handed mine to me and started walking to elevator.
I shrugged on my coat and followed him. “Mike, I’m sorry. It was just one of those things.”
He didn’t look at me. He just jabbed the down button and stared straight ahead. “You seem to always have one of those things, Audrey. Next time, just say you don’t want to come.”
And that’s when I realized that I might not have to break up with Mike. He was already very close to breaking up with me.
Chapter 11
Mike didn’t speak the entire ride home and he didn’t invite me up to his place, either. I apologized a couple of more times but it didn’t make things better. I went to bed alone, still wondering what to do next. I’d been thinking I needed to get out of this situation but the possibility of being dumped made me want to rethink the entire thing.
The next night, I walked the eight blocks to Mellie’s place hoping that whatever was going to happen that night would take my mind off of all the not-so-cool things that were happening all around me. Following the engagement, she and Kevin had moved into an apartment near Prospect Park. While the life she was living was further away from my life than ever, the actual apartment where it was happening was closer than ever.
Mellie opened the door with a big smile on her face, a glass of wine in her hand, and the sound of female laughter trailing behind her. With her dark hair, blue eyes, and good looks, Mellie looked like an Eastern European model. But I loved her because she had a wicked sense of humor and was always down to eat. You wouldn’t know this by looking at her but she could really put it away. “Audrey! You’re on time!”
As we hugged, I murmured “Liar. I’m at least fifteen minutes late.”
“Oh, honey, that’s your version of being on time.” I couldn’t argue with the truth. She led me into her apartment and showed me where I could put all of my winter wear. As I got rid of my coat, scarf, gloves, and hat, I looked around. She had a cute little place that had obviously been recently renovated. Exposed brick mixed with shiny stainless steel. Open plan kitchen with an island that looked out onto the living room. Loft ceilings. Skylight in the living room. Big windows lining one side of the apartment and I could see a deck out there. The last time I’d checked, Mellie lived in a mediocre third floor walk-up with two roommates. She had definitely been upgraded.
I put up my stuff and joined the other ladies in the living room. I recognized two of the girls but I hadn’t met the redhead yet. Mellie introduced me to everyone. “Everyone this is Audrey. Audrey, you remember Gloria and Cheyenne. You met them at brunch. And this is Bridget, my best friend from high school.” I waved at all of them awkwardly until Mellie pushed a big glass of red wine into my hand. I would have preferred a beer but at this point, I was happy to drink any alcohol available. I downed it in three gulps and asked for another one.
Bridget wrinkled her perky little nose. “You may want to slow down a bit. We’ve got a lot of work to do here.”
“Work?” I thought I was coming to a dinner.
“Well, you know,” Mellie explained. “We want to get some details down and get started on projects. We’re also going to have some tapas that Cheyenne brought.”
I considered myself a food connoisseur but I didn’t know what tapas were. “What are tapas?”
Cheyenne, the blonde one, chimed in. “It means, like, finger foods. And it’s all gluten free, cruelty free, preservative free, allergen free, organic, and made by hand locally.”
So. . . It’s probably a plate of ice cubes, I thought. Awesome.
Bridget clapped her hands together. “OK, let’s get started. As you know, I’m the Maid of Honor, so I’ll be in charge of organizing the bridesmaids. Obviously we need to plan a bridal shower and a bachelorette party—”
“Do we know dates, yet?” Gloria interrupted. I remembered that she was a real estate agent. She was already pulling out her phone, going through her calendar. “My schedule gets packed really quickly. I mean, anything for you, Mellie darling, but I need a timeline.”
Mellie sighed. “That’s been a problem. I want to get married in the fall. This fal
l.”
“This fall??!” everyone in the room besides Mellie and I shouted. Apparently, this wasn’t a good idea. I didn’t know why, though. I just took another gulp of wine.
“Oh my God, Mellie, that’s too soon!” Bridget said it as if Mellie had said she was bringing a date to her husband’s funeral. “There’s so much to plan. Do you even have a venue?”
Mellie nodded. “Brooklyn Bridge Park. It’s where we met.”
“Oh, saying your vows in nature is so poetic. It’s like Mother Earth is at your wedding,” said Cheyenne.
“You’ll need a permit from the parks department,” warned Gloria. “Don’t worry. I know a guy.”
“But how many people can you fit there?” Bridget gasped.
Mellie shrugged. “We were thinking 60 to 75 people tops, including everyone’s plus-ones.”
Some of this stuff was flying right over my head. “What’s a plus one?” I asked.
“A date,” Bridget explained. “Like, I’m bringing my boyfriend.”
“I’m bringing my boyfriend, too,” said Cheyenne.
“Me, too,” added Gloria.
And then they all just looked at me. It took a minute to realize they were all waiting for me to volunteer who I was bringing to the wedding. I guess this is what Mellie meant by bonding. But I couldn’t predict what was going to happen in the fall. I couldn’t even predict what was going to happen next week. “Me? I’m going solo. More cake for me.” They all looked at me with pity.
“Or maybe we could fix you up with one of groomsmen,” Bridget offered.
“Or not.” I poured myself another glass of wine as the girls started throwing around dates for the bridal shower and the bachelorette’s night.
Mellie got up and moved toward the kitchen. “Cheyenne, let’s start putting out the food.” As she walked past me, she whispered “Slow down.”
Easy for her to say. This was her show. I was just an innocent bystander here to all of this. While Cheyenne and Mellie started putting out plates and dishes, Bridget pulled out some swatches. “As we all know, or should know, yellow is Mellie’s favorite color. She has decided to do shades of yellow in the bridesmaids’ dresses. Each one of us can pick our shade and then we’ll order the dresses. As the Maid of Honor, I’ll choose first.” She raised a finger to her dimpled chin and thought for a moment. “Buttercup! I really thought I was going to go with Sunshine but Buttercup is calling me!”
I didn’t know if a color had ever called me. I didn’t know whether to be jealous or embarrassed for her. I chose to just top off my wine.
By now, Mellie and Cheyenne had finished bringing all of the food over and were serving. Mellie took away my wine glass and pushed a plate of beige finger foods at me. “Eat. You have to finish this before I’ll let you have more wine.” I took a bite of something and practically choked on its tastelessness. It needed salt, bacon, and cheese. I was basically eating cardboard.
Meanwhile, Bridget was pushing the swatches over to Gloria, who took a few seconds before she decided on Honey. And Cheyenne chose a color called Dandelion, which she explained was also the color of her aura, according to her psychic.
Finally, it was my turn. Honestly, all of the colors looked the same to me. I could have picked any of them. So I decided to just browse the names until I found that spoke to me. It only took a minute but I found it. I handed the swatch back to Bridget, who sat there with an expectant look on her face and a pen and pad to write down my choice. “I think I’ll go with Nacho Cheese. For some reason, it’s all I can think about right now.”
*****
“Did you call Mom on me?”
By the time I left Mellie’s, I’d spent four hours drinking wine and nodding emphatically as Bridget told us what Mellie’s wedding was going to be like. I’d eaten the nutritional equivalent of cardboard and been attacked by Bridget with a tape measure for my dress measurements. I needed pizza. Stat!
As I set my sights on the pizza place, my phone rang. It was Ella, which was funny because all of that wedding talk that night made me think of her outburst the other day. I thought maybe she was calling to tell me that she was engaged and pregnant. Instead she was calling to yell at me for telling Mom about her nervous breakdown. “Come on, Ella. What did you expect me to do?”
Ella sighed through the phone. “I know. I had a little. . . moment there. It’s just that it’s a big thing, Audrey. You wouldn’t understand,” she said, echoing Mom from a few days earlier.
“Apparently.” I didn’t know what else to say so I just changed the subject. “How’s Din-Din?”
“Pregnant,” Ella deadpanned. “Rodney put a flyer up at his gym about adopting them out. We already have three leads. Of course, we’ll do due diligence, on these people. I have a few interviews this week.”
I sighed. I’d assumed that she was over the Rodney thing since she’d talked to Mom but I guess I was wrong. “Tell me you’re not getting back together with Rodney.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I like him. Even after we broke up, I kept going to the same gym so I could see him. I broke up with him over superficial things. I was worried about what my colleagues would think about him if I brought him to the staff Christmas party. I wanted you to stop making fun of me.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault?”
“No. It was my fault for not just enjoying the fact that he’s a good guy who likes me a lot and makes me feel happy. I’m not going to waste my time dating guys just because they look good on paper. I like Rodney. He likes me. That should be enough. I don’t know if this is going to end in marriage and kids but I’m too old to not be happy.”
She was still getting on my nerves with this old shit. “You’re not old! You’re only three years older than me!”
“And you’re getting old, too. Don’t let the fact that you live like a teenager fool you. One day you’ll feel the same way I do.”
A part of me envied how simple it was for her. It was that simple for Mellie, too. Why wasn’t it that simple for me? Was she right? Was it just a matter of time? I didn’t know, but I did know one thing. “Ella?”
“Yeah?”
“If you get married, I cannot be your bridesmaid. I know I’m supposed to but I just can’t do it.” I told her about Mellie getting married and recapped the bridesmaid night to her.
Ella laughed and continued to laugh for a full two minutes. Finally, she said, “Oh, Audrey, I wouldn’t ask you to be in my wedding. I want my wedding to be good.”
Chapter 12
I got the text message right after I got off the phone with Ella. Nathaniel had a way of popping up just when I’d forgotten how messed up things were.
Be at St. Jude at dawn. No excuses.
I knew texting back that I hadn’t seen dawn in a long time wouldn’t be met very well. So I just went to bed as soon as I finished my pizza and dragged myself out bed as early possible the next morning.
I took the train over to St Jude and arrived at the parking lot just as the sun crested over the horizon. Rocky, Frankie, and Nathaniel were already there. Frankie was hopping back and forth from foot to foot, trying to use his abilities to keep himself warm. Rocky had on last night’s makeup, wore a pair of sunglasses, and held a Starbucks cup she was nursing. Nathaniel wore his early morning best scowl.
“We are fucking this whole thing up,” he announced. He used the word “we” but he was looking at me. “Monday night was a complete failure. All we succeeded in doing is driving El Gato further underground. The Noches are laying low. It’s going to be that much harder to do this now.”
Now, I was pretty damn sure that everyone was looking at me. Well, that’s just fucking ridiculous. I wasn’t even allowed to go inside. Why am I being blamed for everything?
Nathaniel went on. “Our numbers are on the line here. Our reputa
tions are at stake here. The time for half-assing it is over.”
I shivered in my coat and rubbed my gloved hands together. It was freezing. And this Bravehart moment could have been done over text.
“All of us work this district. All of us have contacts. I want you to reach out to everyone you know and get something on the Noches and El Gato. Somebody knows something and I want that information. I want something by tomorrow. Understood?” We all mumbled our agreement and Nathaniel dismissed us. Rocky and Frankie took off in their super impressive ways and I started to walk off in my unimpressive way.
“Hold up, Audrey.” Nathaniel hadn’t taken off like I was used to him leaving. Instead, he walked over to me. “I meant what I said about Supers being an elite group. Not everyone with powers should be on the job.”
Whoa. That’s not what you want to hear from the person who supposed to sign off on your probation. “Nathaniel, I’m here for whatever you need.”
“I need results from you.” I nodded like I actually believed I could deliver anything related to a result. “If not, go concentrated on your boyfriend. Get married. Maybe have a couple of kids. And leave the work to the real Supers.”
Chapter 13
After that inspirational meeting behind the church, I spent the rest of the day hiding out in my apartment. I only left because I had a dinner date with Mike that night.
I hadn’t seen him since Tues night. We’d exchanged a few short texts that left a funny feeling in my stomach. He’d asked to see me before but I’d had been busy with Nathaniel and the mission. But I couldn’t exactly say that, either. Instead, I pretended to be very caught up in Mellie’s wedding plans. He was hosting a poker game on Saturday night and was probably working late on Friday. So we setting on Thursday dinner at his place.
I climbed the stairs to 3A around seven with a twelve pack of beer and the intention to make it a short night. Basically, we’d agreed to stop talking about me disappearing at this friend’s house. I could understand why he was upset but I couldn’t tell him any more than I’d already told him. I tried to imagine doing all of this hiding long-term. I couldn’t.
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