Eugenia peered at her, then at Nell. “Maybe. I suppose you must, or you wouldn’t have stopped him.”
“I think you know why these men are here, Eugenia. They know. They know you were in some type of asylum…weren’t you?”
She looked away, not meeting Mollie’s eyes. “They can’t know that.”
“But they do. And even if you believe that’s your child, the fact is that legally, she is Mr. Deming’s daughter. He adopted her. He can have you arrested for taking her away.”
“He doesn’t care about her!” she cried, clutching Nell, who squirmed again.
“He does, I promise that he does. He may not care in the same way you and I do, but in his own way, he cares. He risked his life making that lunge for you. You all could have gone over the edge.”
Regarding Deming—who was standing now, brushing snow off himself and glaring at her—Eugenia nodded reluctantly. “Maybe he does. But she belongs with me.”
“But look around. You’re a smart girl. Do you think they’re going to let you go free? They’re either going to put you in jail, or bring you to a place where you can get help. But you won’t be leaving here a free woman.”
“Then I’ll leave here my own way,” she said, edging a few inches closer to the precipice. “And I’ll take my baby with me. She belongs with me.”
“She deserves to die? Eugenia, you can’t mean that. You’re a mother. You love her. A mother does whatever it takes to protect her baby. No matter how painful it might be. Remember? She does whatever it takes in order to make sure her daughter lives a long, happy, healthy life. Whatever sacrifices, whatever it costs, whatever pain she must suffer—a mother gives her daughter life. Not death.”
“I don’t know what to do. I can’t live without her.”
“I know. Believe me, I know that feeling very well. It seems as if your entire life is crashing down around you. But your feelings don’t matter, if you love your child. Only her welfare matters.”
“But…she needs me. She needs her mother. How can I leave her? How can I abandon her, and let her go to an orphan asylum all over again?”
Mollie understood that sentiment all too well. It might be cloaked in madness, but it was a mother’s fear of separation from her child, nonetheless. “Isn’t there someone who could look after her for you? Someone you trust? Her father?”
She shook her head. “He won’t have anything to do with us. He fired me as soon as he found out, and told his wife he caught me stealing, because he said he couldn’t have his wife know he’d been with her lady’s maid. He gave me money to keep my mouth shut, but it didn’t last long, and that wasn’t what I wanted from him, anyway. I tried talking to him. I did. I followed him to his office, and to church, but he didn’t acknowledge me. Finally, he had me arrested—told them I was insane. He’s a horrible person…”
“Don’t you have family?”
“They disowned me. Said I shamed them.” She swiped tears away and hoisted Nell up higher on her hip.
“There must be someone you know, someone you can trust. A neighbor? A friend?”
Eugenia looked down at Nell’s face for a long moment, then fixed her gaze on Mollie. “You,” she said flatly. “You’re the only one who’s never lied to me. And you lost your baby, so I know you know how it feels. I know you’ll take good care of her.”
Mollie’s heart soared, but she pressed her lips, maintaining a calm façade. “I would never let any harm come to her, I promise you that.”
Eugenia nodded once. “Alright. But she’s not yours, you know. You’re just taking care of her for me.” She glanced up toward the men who stood stock-still at the edge of the trees, their hands out from their bodies, ready to pull their sidearms if need be. “Only because I can’t, right now.” She held Nell tight, giving her a kiss on the cheek, and heaving a shaky sigh. “You be a good girl, Ramona. I’ll come for you someday. I promise, I’ll come, and we’ll be a family again.” Tears dripped from Eugenia’s chin as she took a hesitant step forward.
It was all Mollie could do to remain where she was. She didn’t want to spook the girl. Instinct told her to hold still, and let Eugenia make the decision to come with her. Her hands itched to reach out, to snatch her baby from the arms of the disturbed woman. Instead, she clenched her fists tight at her side, her nails digging into the fingertips of the gloves she wore.
Murmuring a few more words into Nell’s ear, Eugenia slowly advanced, a step at a time, jiggling Nell as if she were a colicky newborn. Nell had stopped weeping, but her breath still hitched, and she gazed wide-eyed with confusion as Eugenia gently held her out toward Mollie.
Mollie accepted Nell with slow and deliberate care. At last, her daughter was wrapped in her embrace once more! It was the most delicious sensation Mollie had ever felt—having her child in her arms again. She was so heavy! She was all pudgy arms and legs beneath the heavy swaddling of blankets, and she struggled to free her arms. Where has my tiny little girl gone?
Behind her, the crunching of a dozen pairs of feet rushing across the snow at last drew her attention. She whirled, walking quickly toward them, eager to put distance between Nell and Eugenia—but also placing herself in their path. “Stop!” she cried, holding up a hand, while simultaneously struggling to balance Nell on her hip. The men stopped in their tracks, and by the looks on their faces, they were as surprised as she was that they’d obeyed.
“I promised her you weren’t here to do her harm,” Mollie called out. “If you all rush her, she’ll go over the edge, and you all risk going over, yourselves.”
She cast a glance over her shoulder, and sure enough, Eugenia had backed up a step or two, fear emblazoned across her face as she edge perilously closer to the edge.
The men turned toward the sheriff, and he held out a hand to indicate that they should remain halted. Then he walked forward a few paces, until he stood abreast of Deming and Noah.
“We have to take her in, Mrs. Jamison.”
“I know,” she said, her voice low, “but can’t we do it gently? I don’t want to upset N—I mean, the baby.” She cast a cautious glance back at Eugenia, but she hadn’t moved. “Do you have to take her to the jail? It doesn’t seem like that’s where she belongs.”
“She kidnapped your child,” he hissed in a loud whisper.
“I know, but she to her, the baby is Ramona. Her own child. I don’t think she ever meant any harm. She needs help, not prison.”
“There is no help for someone like her. And the city of Helena needs protection from someone who could be a danger to society. Something has to be done with her.”
“Couldn’t we call in a doctor? To check her out?” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “It seems like she needs a doctor more than a warden.”
He sighed. “Fine. But she still has to be taken in. Until we figure out what to do.”
“Come along, Eugenia. I think it will be less upsetting for the baby if we just walk back ourselves, don’t you think?” She didn’t wait for a response, but walked ahead until she stood beside her husband. With distance between Nell and the precipice—and Eugenia Fulton—she could breathe again. “Noah, could you take her?” She handed Nell to Noah with painful reluctance, but she needed to help get Eugenia quietly into the sheriff’s custody, for Nell’s sake—but she didn’t want her child near Eugenia ever again. Taking a deep breath, she walked back toward Eugenia.
“I don’t want to go back.” Eugenia stated. She hadn’t moved, only stood and crossed her arms.
“Come now, you can’t stay out here all night. It’s getting late, and the baby needs to get back to a safe, warm place. You don’t want to cause any delays, do you? The sun will be going down soon, and we need to get back to town before dark. It’s not safe out here for babies. Let’s go.” She reached out to Eugenia, waving her forward.
The woman hunched over, looking exhausted and defeated. “Fine. I’ll go. But I don’t want to go to the asylum. I’d rather be locked up in jail.”
“Why don’t you and the sheriff talk about that when you get back to town? It’s been a long day for everyone, and I’m sure no one wants to stand around out here debating when we could all be back in town, warming our feet and having a good, hearty meal.”
“You haven’t tasted the food they bring over to the jail,” the sheriff muttered.
She had, but she shushed him instead of correcting him, and heaved a sigh of relief as Eugenia obeyed, walking slowly toward her. She patted Eugenia on the shoulder as she guided her back to the group of men. She stood by as the sheriff explained he needed to Eugenia that he needed to bind her hands in front of her, for the safety of everyone. She sobbed as her hands were bound, staring the whole time at Nell, and telling Mollie about all of the things that “Ramona” liked or needed.
Ten minutes later, Eugenia was atop the horse she’d ridden in on, her hands fastened to the saddle, and the horse’s lead fastened to the rear of the saddle of the officer’s horse that went ahead of her. Two men rode beside her, and the sheriff followed up behind her, to make sure nothing went awry.
Mr. Deming helped Mollie mount her horse, and Noah handed Nell up to her. It took a minute or two to find the most comfortable position to sit sidesaddle, yet not let Nell’s weight make her unbalanced. Once Nell was properly wrapped up, Mollie wrapped her coat around Nell, rather than button it up against the growing chill in the air.
“You’ll be cold,” Noah said as he came alongside her on his own horse.
“No, she’ll keep me warm,” she said, kissing Nell’s soft strawberry blonde curls.
“She’s beautiful.”
Mollie smiled at him, tears stinging her eyes. “Isn’t she? Most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
Nell looked up at Mollie, her eyelids drooping with sleep. Mollie had hoped that Nell would recognize her—or at least instinctually remember her voice, her smell…something. But she didn’t appear to. Mollie had to settle for being grateful that Nell hadn’t cried in her arms, or struggled to get away. Perhaps being handed off between the Demings and their staff so often made her less likely to be shy with a stranger.
Stranger. I’m a stranger to her! She bit her lip to hold back the tears. She didn’t want to spoil things by letting herself get carried away.
Noah leaned over in his saddle and squeezed her shoulder. “You’ve got the rest of her life to get to know each other. Don’t be sad.”
How does he do that? He knows just what I’m thinking. She flashed him a strained smile. “I know you’re right. But I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving the months that were stolen from us.”
“No, I wouldn’t expect so. But try to look toward the future. We’re going to be a family.”
“A family,” she breathed. Something she hadn’t dared to hope for, when Nell was born.
The sheriff gave the signal, and the group moved out, making their way slowly down the trail, one at a time, and back toward the main road.
Chapter 34
Sunday, April 5, 1891
The Jamison Home
“Noah, have you seen the bag with all the baby sundries in it? I swear, I had it all ready, but I can’t remember where I put it.”
“No, I’ve been busy in here keeping this little wiggler under control,” he called from Nell’s bedroom. “I haven’t even had time to shave yet.”
“Well, you get no sympathies here. My hair hasn’t even been brushed, much less put up, and I still need to find extra diapers to put in the bag. I don’t know how she goes through them so quickly—I just washed them all yesterday!”
A crash erupted from the bedroom, followed by a heavy sigh from Noah.
“Oh, Nellll,” he said.
Mollie giggled and walked quietly away to try to find the bag, before Noah could beg for help.
Thirty minutes later Mollie finally had herself and Nell ready, and everything gathered together and ready to go. Noah rushed in the back door from getting the horse hitched up to the buggy.
“I can’t believe how much longer it takes to get ready for church with only one little girl to look after.”
“I know! I never took her to church before…you know…but even just getting her ready for a walk had been a chore. And I often had my sister to help me! It was the only thing Chloe enjoyed doing—dressing Nell. It was like her own personal baby doll.”
“Well, I wish she was here right now. We could use the help. Have you ever thought about us taking a trip back to Boston someday, to visit Chloe, and let her see Nell? I know you said that Chloe was all broken up over Nell being taken away by your mother.”
“She was. But I don’t know how I can bring Nell to see Chloe without having contact with my mother. Chloe isn’t ten yet, and she’ll be under Ma’s control for several more years. I may have forgiven Ma in that letter I sent last week, but who knows how she’ll react to the news that I’ve got Nell back? And even if she expressed remorse—which I doubt she will—how can I ever trust her around Nell again?”
“That’s a good point.” Noah looked down at Nell, his brow furrowed with concern. “I don’t ever want to put her at risk. But I feel bad for poor Chloe—she’s lost both you and Nell.”
“I know. It must be very lonely for her at home. I don’t even know if Ma will give Chloe the letter I wrote to her—Chloe will feel so abandoned if she never hears from me. If I don’t receive a letter back from Chloe, I’ll keep trying to write, but it’s possible I may have to wait until Chloe is grown up, and Ma can’t control her anymore. Perhaps then we can offer to pay for her to come out for a visit.”
“That sounds like a wonderful idea. But I hope you can work things out with your family before then.”
“Me too,” she said softly. “It’s not easy to forgive what Ma did, but I know that just like Eugenia, in her own twisted way, Ma thought she was doing the right thing. Still, that doesn’t mean I feel safe, yet, having Nell around her.”
“No, I suppose not.” He gave Mollie’s arm a squeeze. “Are you ready?”
“Oh!” She’d been so lost in thought, she’d forgotten they were late for church. “Yes, I think so. Here, can you take Nell for me? I’ll get the bag.”
“Did you find extra diapers?”
“Yes, and there were still some in the bag from last week. Thank goodness—I certainly can’t be doing laundry on a Sunday. Not if I can help it. I’m starting to understand why Mrs. Deming had a nanny. The laundry alone is a chore, not to mention all the boiling of her vegetables and mashing them into a thin pulp! And it’s only been a few days since Miss Tuttle left.”
Mollie had stayed a week at the Deming household, as Mr. Deming had suggested, and then Daphne Tuttle spent a week at the Jamison home, helping Nell feel more comfortable during the transition, and helping out with all the baby-related chores.
“I know,” Noah said, scrutinizing Mollie’s face. “You’ve been looking so tired lately, now that you’re taking on all the chores yourself. Maybe I should help out.”
“And do what?” She laughed. “Wash soiled diapers? Mash up the baby food?”
“Well…I don’t know…” he shifted uncomfortably. “Maybe watch Nell while you take a nap some time?”
“Thank you, you’re a dear. But I have too much work to do—I can’t even consider taking a nap. Besides, you should be the one resting. I feel terrible—you should be enjoying the first year of our marriage, child-free, just getting to know me. Instead…”
“Don’t you say it,” he warned. “I can use this first year to get to know you and Nell both, just as easy as I could to get to know only you. And it’s only one baby. It’s not like you had twins. Unless you have any other secrets to share?”
He waggled his eyebrows at her, and she swatted his arm.
“Don’t tease me about that. You know I already feel guilty for keeping that secret in the first place.”
“Fine. But don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly happy with the way things are. Now that Miss Tuttle is gone, we both have a chance t
o get to know Nell in earnest. In fact,” he said, tweaking Nell’s nose and causing her to giggle, “it’s making me look forward to having children of our own. I mean—not that Nell isn’t ours, she is, of course—but I meant a newborn baby. We both missed that part of Nell’s life, now that she’s a big one-year-old girl…right, Nell? Isn’t that right?”
Mollie laughed at his attempts at baby talk. He looks so sweet with her. He’s already a wonderful father. She rubbed her stomach absentmindedly, and wondered if it was the right time to tell him.
“What?” Noah asked. He was staring at her, one eyebrow cocked in amusement.
“Nothing…it’s just that…uh…I’m glad to hear you say that.”
“Say what?”
“That you’re looking forward to expanding the family. Because…” she blushed, unable to find the words.
“Are you saying…?”
She nodded, blinking back tears.
He let out a whoop, startling Nell, but when Nell saw his face, she broke out into a matching grin. Noah leaned forward and hugged Mollie tight, with Nell getting a bit squished in between them. Then he gave her a long, hard kiss. “I love you so much.”
Mollie reached up and caressed his cheek. “I love you too.”
“Did you hear that, Nell? You’re gonna have a little brother or sister! Yes you are.” He danced around the room for a few seconds, making Nell burst into giggles.
A knock on the back door interrupted them.
“Come in, Lettie!” Mollie called, and picked up the bag of baby sundries. She put her finger to her lips, to indicate to Noah that she wanted to hold back on sharing the good news just yet. She wanted it to remain their special secret for just a little while longer.
“My, aren’t you two ready yet?” Lettie called from the kitchen.
“We are now,” Noah said, following Mollie into the kitchen.
“Oh, let me see that little bundle of sweetness!” Lettie leaned forward to plant several loud kisses on Nell’s cheek, much to Nell’s delight.
Mail Order Devastation (Montana Mail Order Brides, Book 4) Page 23