by Raeann Blake
“Go get some sleep, Hailey.”
She kept walking and knelt behind him. “Clay,” she whispered.
The breath he’d been holding came out and when her hand touched his shoulder he came off of the ground. He couldn’t look at her without wanting to touch her. Just knowing she was there, so close made him ache inside.
“Hailey, I’m so sorry about last night. I took advantage of you. And I knew I was doing it at the time, but…I just couldn’t seem to stop,” he said without looking back at her.
She took a deep breath and stood up but didn’t move any closer to him. “You didn’t take advantage of me, Clay. I knew what I was doing.”
“You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better. I know that you didn’t. Not really. And I know about the drinks… what they did. They’ll pay for that,” he said hoarsely.
“Please, don’t do that. Don’t fight over something that doesn’t matter now.”
“It does matter. And… I’m sorry about not using a condom. I tried, but…” He stopped talking when he glanced at her and saw her pale enough that he could see it easily even in the soft moonlight.
“What?” Hailey managed hoarsely.
“I…oh, hell. You didn’t know? I… oh, God,” he rasped. He had a hard time making himself lift his eyes to hers but he finally did.
“Hailey, I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”
“No. It’s…it’s okay. It just that I’ve never… I mean I… maybe that’s why it was so…” She finally let her voice trail off and Clay dropped his head.
“God, I’m sorry. I swear that one time with Gail was the only other time. I…goddammit,” he whispered.
She finally managed to find her voice and took one step closer to him then lifted a hand to his cheek. “Clay…it’s okay. It just caught me by surprise, that’s all.”
He jerked his head away and rubbed a hand roughly across his forehead as he stubbed out his cigarette then dropped it in his shirt pocket. “Still think I didn’t take advantage of you?” he asked lowly.
“Yes. I do,” she said softly and pulled his face back around to her. She held his gaze in the moonlight and ran her hand across the stubble on his face.
“Hailey,” he whispered then pulled her roughly to him and crushed his mouth against hers in a way that was reminiscent of the first kiss they had shared. And just as it had before, it softened and grew deeper as he slid one hand up and into the silkiness of her hair. He had just brushed the side of her breast and pulled her firmly against him when he remembered and broke the kiss abruptly, holding her back from him.
“We have to stop. We have to stop now,” he said huskily.
Hailey closed her eyes and drew in several deep breaths then finally nodded and opened them slowly. “I know. Come get some sleep, Clay.”
He wanted to touch her, hold her. He wanted her to touch him. But he couldn’t do any of those things. Instead, he dropped his gaze and then waited for her to start walking before he followed her.
Hailey walked ahead of him and went back to her bag to lie down, pushing her boots off then laying back. She watched him as he walked over to the trashcan and dropped the cigarette butts from his pocket inside it then retrieved his bedroll and walked straight to her without hesitating. He rolled it out right beside her, sat down, pulled off his boots and lay down then turned his head and pointed up at the stars the same as he had earlier. Hailey smiled and turned her head to look up.
Clay shook his head knowing he was making a mistake when he moved his hand enough to touch her arm gently. When she turned her head to look at him again, he let his fingers trail down until they touched hers and then waited. He let out the slow sigh of satisfaction and closed his fingers gently around hers when her hand turned and then slipped into his.
* * *
“Oh, Jeez,” Laine whispered when he stood up and glanced towards Clay. He quickly looked around to see if anybody close was awake. He didn’t see anybody and quietly eased over to them. He touched Clay on the arm and saw his eyes open immediately and then drop down to where he had Hailey pulled tightly against him with her back against his chest, spooned together with his arm firmly around her waist.
“Oh, hell,” he whispered and quickly raised his head to look around them as he slowly moved his arm and then sat up.
“I don’t think anybody else is up yet,” Laine said softly then held Clay’s eyes in a silent question.
“What do you want me to say, Laine,” Clay whispered.
“I want you to tell me that it’s okay with her,” Laine whispered back.
“It’s fine, Laine,” Hailey whispered as she opened her eyes.
“That’s all I need to know. Now get your two lazy butts up. I smell coffee. Shack must be roaming around here somewhere,” Laine whispered.
Clay turned and met Hailey’s eyes and felt that fire start up again. Just one look from her and he was ready to go. He shook his head and set his jaw slightly, reminding himself where he was and who she was as he tugged on his boots before he rose and rolled his bag.
“I can’t believe you didn’t shoot straight up when he mentioned coffee,” Clay said quietly as he worked.
“Oh, I always take a few minutes to…savor the night, let’s say. Dreams or reality…they both deserve to be remembered and treasured for a few minutes before you start the day.”
Clay stopped working and lifted his eyes to hers then looked around them. “Dreams? Have you been having dreams, too?” he whispered.
“I have. You have?” she asked in surprise.
“Yeah. That’s why I haven’t been able to sleep. Every time I go to sleep…” He stopped and shook his head when Charlie shifted and then sat straight up.
“Oh, man what a great night. I love this shit,” he said with a wide smile.
Clay and Hailey both laughed quietly and started back to work on their rolls.
“Let’s grab a cup of coffee and go smoke a cigarette. We let the ones that rode first shift eat first then they’ll go out and relieve the third shift so they can come in and eat before we head out,” Clay said as they walked towards the wagon.
“Hey, boss. Heard you singing last night. We haven’t heard that in a while,” Charlie said as he fell in beside them.
“Huh. It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance.”
“You should hear them when he and Laine aren’t riding together. If you thought that was special last night, you sit up on the ridge above them as they circle that herd. They’ll get opposite each other and one of them will start and the other one join in. And they’ll keep it up, goin’ around that herd in opposite directions. Now that’s something to hear.”
“Hush, boy,” Laine growled.
“Aw, come on, Laine. Don’t tell me you won’t sing for me,” Hailey teased.
“Uh-uh. I’ll sing to the cows. I am not singing to a girl,” Laine said then smiled brightly up at Clay when Hailey rushed to him and kissed him on the cheek.
“Not even for a kiss?” she asked sweetly.
“Well, now…we’ll talk about it. Might take more than one to convince me.”
Hailey and Charlie both burst out laughing when Clay rolled his eyes and kept walking.
Hailey was still laughing when she turned to follow Clay and found Lynn watching her steadily. She squared her shoulders and didn’t let her gaze waver.
“Good morning, Lynn. I hope you slept well,” she said pleasantly as she walked past her then stopped and gave Shack a kiss on the cheek as he handed her a cup of coffee.
“Thank you. I think somebody mentioned a cigarette?” she said as she turned to look at Clay.
He nodded and motioned for them to walk away from where the others were gathering to eat. “Let’s get out of their way,” he said as he turned. He caught Lynn’s gaze following them and frowned at her until she turned away.
Clay lit two cigarettes as they walked and handed one to her. “I guess I owe that damned horse an apology, too.”
Hailey grinned up at him and nodded. “I think you do. He did well. He did want to take off after one that somebody else was already chasing down, but other than that I didn’t see anything that he did wrong.”
“I didn’t see that.”
“I didn’t want you to see that,” Hailey admitted then looked up at him innocently when he stopped and turned a narrowed gaze to her.
“Excuse me?” he said quietly. He had thought the horse had behaved perfectly. If he’d known that he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have let her ride night herd on him.
“Now before you get all bent out of shape, it’s not all about the horse. No horse is perfect, Clay. It about whether or not he’s close enough that the rider can keep him on the right path. And I did. Right?”
He held her eyes seriously for several minutes then finally nodded and started walking again. “Yeah. I guess. Still…”
“He did very well for his first time. You have to admit that. And he just wanted to chase him down because he likes to run. And he really can fly.”
Clay’s steps stopped again and he turned back to her with a knowing gaze and shook his head. “Oh, no you don’t. You are not gonna bait me into a race. It’s not happening.”
“Now where did you get an idea like that?” Hailey asked innocently then burst out laughing when Clay leaned his head back and looked up at the sky then back down to her to find a perfectly solemn face.
He shook his finger at her and shook his head. “No. Absolutely not.”
“Hmmm. Okay,” she said and took a drag off the cigarette and then a sip of coffee.
“Okay,” he said and took two steps before he stopped and turned back to her. “Wait. That was too easy. What are you up to?” he growled.
He heard more than one of the men, including Laine and Shack roar with laughter and he dropped his head. “Oh, hell. I’m tellin’ you…it ain’t happening.”
“Okay.”
“Stop that,” he said then had to laugh when he looked back at her and saw the sly smile on her face.
“You know I can fire you, right?”
“Uh-huh,” she said sweetly.
Clay let his eyes drift closed and sighed deeply. “Drink your coffee,” he muttered.
Chapter Thirteen
“Alright, let’s mount up. Hailey, you’ll take…”
“Drag, right?” Hailey said easily.
“Uh—no. You’re not ridin’ drag,” Laine said quietly.
Hailey lifted her head to meet his gaze with a frown and asked, “Why not? The newest hands always get drag first.”
Everybody knew that drag was the worst position any time you moved a herd. The dust kicked up by the cattle settled around you like a fog and within minutes you were covered with it, breathing it, tasting it, practically seeping in through your pores. But somebody had to ride it. And any place she’d ever heard of, that task always fell to the newest hands. Sort of an initiation.
“Well, normally, but…”
“Well, I’m the newest hand. Who else?” she asked and turned her head to find Lynn watching her steadily. She remembered how long Charlie had said she’d been there and pointed a finger at her.
“You’re new, too. Right? You’re riding drag?””
“Yeah,” Lynn finally said lowly.
“Okay. Then Lynn and I are riding drag. Unless you think we can’t handle it,” Hailey challenged.
“Now, Hailey, I didn’t say that. It’s just that…”
“It’s just that what? Don’t you dare say it’s because we’re both women.”
Clay listened silently. He didn’t want the two of them riding together either. But he had no doubt that Laine wasn’t going to win this without a fight that neither one of them wanted to happen.
“Hell. Fine. Ride drag. We ride it in spells. After a couple of hours, somebody will come back and switch with you to give you a break. After another couple of hours you’ll switch back. Let’s move ‘em out,” Laine called and glanced once at Hailey then shook his head and turned away.
Clay watched Lynn steadily as she looked away with a disgusted look and shook her head. When she looked back to see Hailey walking to the horses, she jerked a neckerchief out of her back pocket and tied it angrily around her neck to have it ready to cover her mouth and nose. When she looked up to find Clay watching her with a pair of cold eyes she quickly looked away and followed Hailey’s path.
As they rode out with Hailey some distance in the lead, Clay finally turned back to Laine.
“I hope that’s not a mistake,” Laine said quietly.
“The bigger mistake would have been if you’d told her no.”
“Voice of experience.”
“No. I just think you’d have been in for a fight that we don’t want or need right now. We’ll keep an eye on them. They’re gonna be too busy to get into it too much. Let’s go. Shack, you ready?”
“Waitin’ on you boys.”
Clay looked between them and then finally grinned. “Okay. Let’s go drive some cattle.”
Hailey reined Soldier to a walk then a stop as she waited for the herd to start moving. She calmly reached to her back pocket and pulled out the neckerchief then tied it around her neck. When Lynn rode up beside her she didn’t turn to look at her, keeping her eyes on the herd instead.
“I guess you think that was cute,” Lynn said lowly.
“That back there? No. I don’t know about you, but where I come from a woman in the saddle has to fight prejudice from every direction. I didn’t put up with it there. I’m not going to put up with here. New hands always ride drag,” Hailey said easily.
“You’re not one of the hands.”
Hailey smiled slightly at the venom she could hear in the woman’s voice and finally turned to meet her eyes squarely. “Today I am. If you have issues with that, then I’ll be glad to discuss it with you later. Right now, we’ve got cattle to tend. And the cattle always come first. Unless you want to be the one to go back to Laine and tell him I was wrong. That two women really can’t handle drag.”
“You really are a little bitch under all that sweetness, aren’t you?” Lynn snapped.
Hailey let the smile widen but kept her eyes hard and said, “Yes, ma’am. I certainly am. Kindred spirits?”
She saw the woman’s mouth open then snap shut before she wheeled her horse and rode across the back of the herd. Hailey waited until she had pulled the neckerchief up over her nose before she let the real smile show.
She glanced up when Clay rode up beside her and stopped. “Everything okay?”
“Peachy,” she said brightly.
“Uh-huh. You know you look like you’re about to rob a bank, don’t you?” he said then grinned.
“That’s my second job. Go to work cowboy. Get this herd moving.”
Clay laughed and started to urge Ringo forward. She couldn’t help but tilt her head and watch him ride away.
“Uh-uh-uh,” she whispered to herself.
As the herd moved slowly forward, she and Lynn both worked back and forth across the back of the herd to keep the stragglers moving. She had to admit that the woman was more than capable. She sat her horse well, kept her eyes on the herd and kept her side moving at an even pace. She didn’t have any illusions that they could be friends. Not if Charlie was right about what he thought. Doubly so if anybody found out that she and Clay…
Her thoughts shifted directions and latched on to his admission about not using a condom. She hadn’t realized it at all. Now that she thought back, of course he didn’t. She knew he didn’t. But it had never registered in her mind before he said it out loud. She was doubly, no triple glad that she had decided early on that she needed to be on birth control. Not because she slept around. Because she was the lone woman working in the middle of a group of rowdy cowboys. She had never had any problems before she made the decision, and hadn’t had any after. But she had decided one day that it was foolish to not take the precaution just in case any of those men should ever get out of contro
l. Now she was glad she had. She could almost see Clay’s face if she had to go to him and tell him she was pregnant. No matter how much he might want a baby, no matter how much he wanted the one Gail had lost, she knew that he might look at her when she told him, but he would see Gail. No, it was better that she didn’t have to face that possibility.