by Raeann Blake
Chapter Seventeen
“Do you do that a lot? Ride the fence line?” Hailey asked after she finished explaining about the reports.
Laine walked around behind her and slid onto the stool beside her and watched her spoon food onto her plate.
“Not as much as I’d like. We used to, but not so much anymore. But now that you’re here, maybe we can do it more often.”
Hailey nodded then glanced at Clay’s firm jaw line and quickly said, “Sure. I can make sure that anything that needs taking care of is ready for Clay first thing in the morning. And anything that comes up during the day can wait until he gets back.”
She felt like she was walking a tightrope. The worry that those things Lynn had said had already taken root made her wary to do her job. But at the same time, she knew that he needed her to do them.
He didn’t understand why he was suddenly feeling combative, but he was. “Are you saying you can’t do your job without me hovering over your shoulder?” he snapped.
Hailey lifted a level gaze to him and said, “No, I’m not saying that. I’m feeling my way to make sure I don’t step over any boundaries or do anything that you don’t feel is my place to do. If there are any areas that you feel I’m ready to take on without your supervision, maybe you should let me know that.”
“And why are you suddenly worried about that? You damn sure haven’t been worried about it before now,” Clay growled. He knew he was wrong and he just couldn’t shut up.
“I see. Then before you leave, maybe we should take a few minutes for you to tell me exactly which areas you would like for me to handle on my own,” she said quietly as she looked back down at her plate.
“Fine,” Clay said lowly then started eating, ignoring the frown on Laine’s face.
Hailey ate in silence and then carried her plate to the sink. “Thank you, Isobell. I’ll be in my office when you’re ready. I’ll do whatever you say, Clay. But just so you know, she knew you were both there. She knew that you would both hear her. And she knew what hearing it would do.”
She’d kept her voice quiet and steady, her eyes clear. And she walked through the door without waiting for any kind of answer.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Laine asked.
“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Clay snapped at him.
Laine studied him as he shoved his plate back and cradled the coffee cup in his hands without looking up. When Clay didn’t make any move to follow her, Laine rose and started for the door. “Well if you’re not gonna find out, I am.”
“Stay out of it, Laine.”
He turned back to him slowly and asked, “Are you ordering me not to talk to her?”
Clay turned his head to look at him then finally dropped his eyes. “No. I’m not ordering you to do anything.”
Laine waited for just a heartbeat then turned and walked straight to Hailey’s office. He stopped in the doorway and watched her work silently.
“Yeah?” Hailey finally asked.
“What did that mean?” he asked softly.
“I thought it was pretty plain,” she said without looking up.
“Hailey, stop working and look at me. I wouldn’t be in here if I’d understood it. Tell me what that was about. It sounded to me like it was about me and him both. If that’s true, then I’d like to know what my part in it is,” he said as he walked into the room and settled in a chair across from her.
She sighed and finally looked up at him. “The things she said. About me taking over, wanting the ranch. She planted the seeds of doubt. I heard in your voice last night. I hear it in his this morning.”
“Whoa. Wait a minute. What do you mean you heard it in my voice last night? When? What did I say?”
“It wasn’t what you said, Laine. It was the way you said it. What you said after you sent for Lynn. You made it pretty clear that I wasn’t supposed to overstep my bounds and get into your area. And that’s fine, you’re right. I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Hailey, you misunderstood. I wasn’t thinking that at all. I don’t like having to dress down one of the hands. And given the friction already between the two of you, I was just trying to keep you apart and distant from that. Darlin’, I’m sorry. I never thought that. I can’t believe that you thought I did,” he said gently as he leaned forward and propped his arms on the desk, leveling a steady gaze at her.
“Oh. I…I thought…then I’m sorry for misunderstanding. I’m just trying to find my place, Laine. And the line keeps moving. Every time I think I found it, it shifts and I find myself over it and scrambling to get back to the other side. I just…”
She stopped talking when Clay stepped into the doorway and leveled a gaze at her. “Laine, let me talk to Hailey for a few minutes then we’ll head out.”
“Sure,” he said then rose and reached across the desk to take her hand and lifted it to his lips then shot her that bright smile when she looked up at him. She tried to smile back but couldn’t and just nodded instead then waited silently as he went out and Clay stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
He was silent for a long time then finally said softly, “I’m trying to find the line, too. I know I’m hard to work for, Hailey. I don’t see that changing. And I know my mood swings are not easy to deal with. But I’m asking you to try. I can’t help that it’s hard for me to trust you. I’ve been burned too many times to just willingly stick my hand back over the fire and hold it there. I want you to keep doing what you’ve been doing. I don’t wanna see you back down again the way you did in the kitchen. I like that you fight back. I hired a confident, self-assured, and highly competent business manager. Don’t let me run her off. I need that woman to handle the business side of this ranch.”
Hailey drew in a deep breath and met his eyes steadily. “I’m not going anywhere, Clay. If you decide I shouldn’t be here, you’ll have to fire me.”
“Okay. I’m gonna go ride and I’ll be back later,” he said quietly and opened the door.
“Have a good ride,” she said quietly.
Clay stopped in the doorway. Without turning around he said, “Hailey, if you asked me to pick one thing about you to change, I wouldn’t be able to think of one. I like you just the way you are.”
Before she could say anything he was gone. She knew it wasn’t over. It would come up again. And it was already evident that the blurring of lines between boss/employee and man/woman was going to be a factor in whether or not they were going to be able to work together. The employee side of her knew not to take things personally, not let things get to her. What she had faced here had so far not compared to what she had faced at home and she had handled those times easily. But the woman that he had awakened in her did take it personally, and some of those things hurt. If she could put away that side of her, or at least find a comfortable balance between the two of them, then maybe she would be okay. So far she wasn’t finding that to be an easy task.
She sank down in the chair and turned her head to look out the window. If she was going to be honest, she might as well admit that something Lynn said had taken root in her mind, too.
He might screw you. But he won’t keep you.
She leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes. For the first time in a very long time, she missed having a mother. Somebody to talk to about life. Somebody who loved her enough to tell her the truth and help her deal with the things that she didn’t know how to deal with. Someone to explain why things were the way they were or tell her how they were supposed to be. But she had not had that luxury. Instead she’d had Filmore Lambert. She knew that wasn’t fair. He loved her. He hadn’t really been like Clay’s father. In some of his ways and ideas, maybe. But she knew he loved her.
She opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling then whispered, “I don’t guess you could tell me what to do now, Daddy.”
She turned to look out the window again when she heard the horses and watched as Clay and Laine rode out together. They weren�
��t as different as she first thought. There were differences, yes. But not the night and day that she had originally seen. Once you got underneath Clay’s gruff exterior, they were much more alike than they were different.
“Hailey, are you okay?”
She turned her head to find Isobell beside her desk with a fresh cup of coffee. “I’m fine, Isobell. Thank you. You didn’t have to do that. Everything will be just fine. Have you ever gone out on any of the drives?” she asked to change the subject.
“I have. Once in a while I’ll go when Shack’s not up to his best and Laine thinks he might need a little help. He’s sixty-two now and even though that’s not all that old, he has a hard time getting around sometimes. Not often. But a lot of broken bones over the years make it hard for him. He used to ride in the rodeo, did you know that?”
Hailey shook her head and said, “No. Really? What event?”
“Broncs and bulls. He had his share of injuries. Probably a lot more than he’ll admit to. It takes a toll on the body and age doesn’t help it any.”
“He’s sixty-two. Don’t tell him, but I thought he was older.”
“The sun and wind up here can age you pretty fast when you’re out in it as much as he has been over the years. Yeah, he just turned sixty-two actually. He’s the oldest man here. Jean Ann’s just behind him at fifty-nine. I don’t know what Clay would do without Shack. I don’t know what he’d do without Laine, either. And I’m beginning to wonder what he’d do without you. You drink that coffee before it gets cold. I’ve got a fresh pot on,” she said as she smiled at her then turned and went through the door before Hailey could say anything.
She blew out a quick breath and whispered, “I hope we never have to find out what he’d do without me.”
* * *
They had ridden in silence for close to an hour before Clay asked the question. He’d been going over the morning in his mind and tried to pinpoint what had been said or done that made him feel like starting an argument with her. Even not knowing that, he’d done it and then been surprised by her reaction to it. He’d fully expected her to fight back. The voice that sounded very much like she’d given up had left him speechless for a few minutes. At least long enough that she could get out the door before he could come up with any words. All of the doubts that he had, all of the mistrust couldn’t make him want her to change. He didn’t know when he’d come to expect her to point out to him when he was wrong, but when she didn’t it put just a little more wobble in that rotation of his world that he had not managed to steady yet.
“Did you find out the big secret?” he finally asked.
Laine blew out a disgusted laugh and said, “Oh, yeah. Best fairy tale I’ve heard in a long time.”
Clay waited silently and when he didn’t go on he turned his head to look at him. Laine didn’t often wear a scowl on his face, but he had one now.
“And?”
Laine glanced at him and then away as he blew out a long breath. He was really hoping that Clay wouldn’t ask. But since he had, he had no choice but to tell him.
“First, I talked to her about watchin’ you like she does. I pretty much told her to get over it or find the gate.”
When he stopped talking again, Clay waited several minutes before he finally turned a steady gaze to him for long enough that Laine noticed and finished it.
“She claims that Hailey’s playing you. And that all of that mess with the Anderson’s was a set up. Said she knew they were doublin’ the shots and it was all a big scheme to get you to come ‘rescue’ her. But she wouldn’t tell me how she supposedly knew this. I told her if she couldn’t tell me how she got the information, then it wasn’t worth my time or yours.”
“I didn’t say anything to her about coming to the bar. How would she have known that I would?” Clay asked with a frown.
“According to her, Hailey thought if you didn’t show up that one of the hands would stop her from leaving with the Anderson’s with her so drunk. And then she was going to fight them until one of them called you to come get her,” Laine said snidely.
When Clay turned a deep frown back to the front of the horse without speaking, Laine watched him cautiously for a few minutes.
“You can’t honestly tell me that you’re thinking about it.”
“You can honestly tell me that you’re not?” Clay shot right back.
“You’re goddamned right I can. Fuck, Clay. She didn’t set up any of that. If Lynn had proof or anybody had told her that, she wouldn’t have waited until now to say something about it. She would have been knockin’ on your door as soon as she heard it. She wanted that job. And she wants to be where Hailey is. Everything Lynn said is designed to make you doubt her and mistrust her. Are you seriously gonna let her get away with it?” Laine snapped.
“How do you know it’s all a lie? How do you know that she didn’t set it up? She could be workin’ for Yates herself. Maybe she’s the one that he sent out here. Who the fuck would go to these lengths, make up something like this, for a goddamn job?”
“Oh, man. Clay, I don’t believe you. You’ve been in that house with her for a week now and you can’t already see that she’s not made like that?”
“Every woman wants something, Laine. She got in. That’s more than most have done. Now she just has to get what she wants and get back out again.”
“Clay, listen to yourself. You’re talking about Hailey. The only things she has done is to come in here and straighten out the things you needed straightening out, made you smile, made you laugh for the first time since I’ve been on this place, and brightened up the whole ranch. How can you even think that she would do any of those things? Lynn is the one who’s like other women. Not Hailey. And if you go stormin’ in that house and accuse of her of things like that you’re gonna break her spirit, buddy.”
Clay was quiet for a few minutes then glanced at him then away again. “What do you mean break her spirit?”
“The way she was this morning. She’ll be like that all the time. Clay, I don’t have much, if any more experience with women than you do. But I think Hailey is the kind of woman who just gives everything inside of her. She does that with everything that she does. And giving herself to any man wouldn’t be any different. When you give that much of yourself, it leaves you wide open. If you accuse her of something like that, you might as well take a gun and shoot the side of her that’s everything that you like. Because you’ll kill it just as sure as if you had.”
“Well how in the hell am I supposed to know what to do? How am I supposed to know who’s telling the truth? And how do I know what the right thing is to say? I can’t trust her, Laine. I just can’t.”
“But you’re gonna trust Lynn? The one person who’s done nothing but try to stir up shit for the last three days? That’s who you’re gonna trust?” Laine asked seriously.
“I didn’t say that. But I don’t know what to do. I can’t trust either one of them. I trust you. And I trust Shack. That’s it, Laine. I can’t trust a woman,” Clay admitted quietly.
“Then trust me on this, Clay. If you let her see that you give even the slightest credence to anything that Lynn said yesterday or last night, you’re going to change her in a way that you may never be able to fix. If you want her to stay here, if you want her to stay the same spunky, funny, confident woman you hired then you can’t let her see that. Because if she sees it, she’ll be the one who won’t trust. And the person she won’t trust is you. Every word she says, everything she does will be tempered with that mistrust, expecting you to turn on her at any second. She could probably stay here forever and take anything you dish out…except that. I don’t think she’s hard enough inside to stand up to that.”
“I don’t want her to change,” Clay admitted hoarsely.
“Then start working on how to trust her, Clay. If you don’t, you’re going to lose her. And that’s going to be a loss for all of us.”
* * *
“Double-C Bar,” Hailey said as she an
swered the phone on the first ring.
“Hailey, it’s Kathy. Is Clay there?”
“No, he and Laine are out riding the fence line. Can I have him call you?” Hailey asked as she leaned back in the chair and rubbed her eyes. She really hadn’t slept much and she knew Clay hadn’t either.
“Would you? Tell him I’m running errands so call my cell. How is it going there? Are you settling in?”
“It’s going great. We just got back from taking the herd to the north pasture last night. I could have just stayed out there and been happy,” Hailey said then smiled when Kathy laughed.