by S P Dawes
“How’s that possible?” Asked Martin.
“Hanging and draining,” answered the pathologist, looking from one sickened grimace to the other. “I just say what I see.”
“Thanks Roy Walker,” said Martin dryly, as he watched the pathologist return to his car. “Why bother?”
Jesse scanned his face questioningly.
“Draining the body, then dumping it outside in the elements?” Martin shook his head; he’d never understand some people.
“Unless they need the blood for something,” replied Jesse thoughtfully.
“What like devil bloody worship?” Snapped Martin, feeling queasier the longer he was beside the victim.
“Stranger things have happened,” shrugged Jesse.
“Well, we best get some sodding answers this time, she’s the fourth in two weeks, and it’s getting beyond a fucking joke.” Jesse bent down and scanned the young woman.
She was in her late teens, possibly early twenties. He could imagine her dancing at the nightclub, thinking she had her entire life ahead of her. Glancing around to see anything obscure, he noticed nothing of any value. Everything looked as it would have done a couple of days ago, only now it was a crass cemetery.
“Anyway, I think you’re wrong. It’s about removal. Clean them up, less mess to hide in transport.”
“What’s with this guy?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.” Walking over to the officer in charge of maintaining the scenes log of arrivals, they glanced back to the body. “There’s a reason he’s cutting them open.”
“Yeah, but what is it?”
“That’s the million-dollar question,” answered Jesse.
“Pounds not dollars Jesse, you’re in England.” Martin quipped.
“Never sounds as good though, does it?”
“True. So, your date?”
“Jesus!” Jesse shook his head, making the rest of the way to the uniformed officer.
“You can call me that if you like; I’ve been called worse. But you aren’t getting out of the question.” Martin called. “Details!”
“You know if you want to arrest him for something, I’ll back you up.” He said taking the pen from the constable before signing himself away from the scene. The young officer just smiled nervously as Martin laughed.
It had been almost a week since their date, and whilst they’d grabbed as many chances to speak to each other without raising suspicion as they could, it had left them both wanting more. Working most days meant they didn’t see each other till teatime, when his parents were in attendance. Making a beeline for each other every time they exited the room was both childish and far from covering their private interludes. His mum and dad would go to bed around ten, leaving them a couple of hours to cuddle up on the sofa, but they both had to sleep, to be effective at work, so it was never long enough.
When Jesse had told Hayley, he had booked a table; she had spent most of the day trying to suppress her excitement. She’d never visited a restaurant before. It suddenly felt very grown up.
When they sat in the corner at his request, away from everyone else, the waiter filled their glasses with Sauvignon Blanc. Jesse took hold of her hand across the table. She wore a long, black maxi dress. The heat was unbearable outside, so the least amount of clothing she could wear the better. Her outfit felt light against her skin, which had been lacking at work all day in her heavy jacket in front of the bay window. That was not a thing she wanted to repeat. After heatstroke grabbed her, she had been embarrassed beyond belief when she had come round from hitting the deck.
“Something wrong?” She asked, noticing his brow furrowed.
“Not really, but I’ve noticed you keep steering the conversation away from yourself,” observed Jesse, attempting to tread carefully but make a breakthrough that would allow him to know what he already did, without the heavy burden of guilt that had been weighing on him.
Hayley shifted uncomfortably in the chair. She wasn’t sure what he wanted to know, unless Rob had betrayed her. Panic gripped her chest, if he knew; this was surely the end of them?
Jesse placed his hands over hers. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” He assured her.
Hayley bit her lip nervously, watching his fingers slide over her own. Her brain screamed for her to run, but she liked him and the last thing she needed to do was let him realise what a mistake he was making with her. Tears threatened the back of her eyes and her throat constricted.
“I need you to tell me what happened.”
Hayley shook her head; she wasn’t sure who she was more upset with, herself or Rob?
Jesse sighed and withdrew his hand from hers. His warmth was a loss to her. He was handling this really badly. “I know about the brand on your back.” Jesse blurted out, watching her face register what he had said. He felt like a bastard for bringing it up. He should have waited; it had been selfish to rid himself of his guilt by exposing her own pain.
“Can we go?” Hayley didn’t want to stay anymore. She couldn’t do this, talking about it; reliving it. Pushing her chair back, she moved to stand up. Her feelings were bubbling on the surface and she needed air, or a walk-in fridge to cool off.
“I need to know,” he pleaded. Jesse held her gaze, willing her to speak, to open up.
Standing motionless, she could feel the warmth in his eyes. But her mind returned to that bleak place in her past, that only her nightmares escaped sometimes. Sitting down slowly, she took a long drink from the wineglass in front of her. Placing it back on the table, she watched her fingers play with the stem.
“I’ve been waiting for you to tell me, but you haven’t.”
Hayley wasn’t sure where to begin. He’d never understand and duly realise what a mistake she was. She’d been hoping to get to a place where she felt comfortable to tell him, but wasn’t sure if such a thing existed.
After a lengthy silence, she reached into her handbag and pulled out a necklace, laying it on the table in front of him. “They gave it to me for my holy communion.”
Jesse glanced from it to her. She was gazing at the jewellery, but her mind had wandered. He’d seen a cross like that before. It was strange, more decorative than the standard, but he couldn’t place where.
“You’re Catholic?” Jesse commented. He was unsure how this revelation would answer anything he wanted to know, but he’d go with it. She was clearly struggling, stuck in a past she didn’t want to be in.
“My Dad became one. He chose the bottle and gambling,” she said rolling her eyes, but still not meeting his. “He lost everything, including our home.”
Hayley took another drink, and Jesse held his hand out to hold hers, but she refused to take it.
“He got in with some people. They helped him feed us, clothe us, they were devout Catholics and Dad repaid them for their kindness by being baptised. We were all to do the same. They were part of a small church and they seemed to have their own belief system, not anything I had come across before, but then I was only a kid,” she shrugged. “The men had all the power and the women just...” she looked up to the ceiling, attempting to tip the tears inside that were threatening to leave.
Jesse listened intently; he didn’t like where this story was going. Jesse straightened and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He had an overwhelming urge to pull her to him, but his training had told him not to touch an abused victim, unless requested. He needed to give her time; she needed to know she could trust him.
The waiter came over to see if they were ready to order. Shaking their heads, he retreated to the bar.
“To be honest, I couldn’t wait to get out of there when I was old enough. I took a little Saturday job just delivering papers, and sometimes they’d give me a couple of quid for helping in the shop. But then Frank found out, and he made my Dad promise to make me ‘repent’. So, they made me work in one of his houses as a cleaner. It turned out to be more of a skivvy as I didn’t get paid and I was doing twelve-hour days, sometime
s longer.”
“Frank had a son.” Hayley took a deep breath, and Jesse smiled slightly to give her the courage to continue. “He was a harsh man, horrible to his wife and even worse towards him, I once saw him hit him across the back with a red-hot iron from the fireplace, just because he’d taken some jam out of the cupboard.”
Jesse watched her eyes cloud over again.
“I felt sorry for him. He was only a little older than me, so I’d soak his cuts, bandage his bruises, and wash his face. We were close, as much as naïve kids get, anyway. But then his Dad sent him away. Something to do with the family business, and when he returned, he wasn’t the same.” Hayley put her head down and bit on to her quivering lip to quench the feelings.
Jesse moved his chair round and took her hands, sod training, she needed to know he had her. He couldn’t allow her to go through this experience without some comfort.
“It’s OK,” he said, tightening his grip.
“When he came back, he was harder,” she looked into Jesse’s eyes this time, and saw compassion, concern and a flash of fear. “He’d seen stuff, done things; I tried to make him happy, but everything I did just pissed him off. Then one day my Dad told me to get ready for my Holy communion. I didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t have a choice. So, I kicked and screamed and my Dad got really embarrassed. The next day I was told they had seen me as a woman in the ‘eyes of the lord’ and it was my duty to ‘bear fruit’.” Jesse’s stomach tightened. “I didn’t have a clue what that meant. They dressed me in a white gown again and paraded me in front of everyone. When I got to the top of the alter, I realised what was going on, my Dad was giving me away. I went crazy. Frank threw everyone out. He said I’d brought ‘disgrace to the church’, so, it was down to my dutiful husband to-be to show me the ‘devil in my ways’.”
Hayley looked down at the table, away from his eyes. “They laid me down on the alter and held me there till I passed out. The next day they did it all again. But that time I gave in.” She glanced back at Jesse and there were tears threatening to fall down his face. She hadn’t realised, but her cheeks had dampened too. “The night of our wedding he told me I needed to prove I was his. To declare that no one else could even think of touching me, so he branded me.”
Stunned, Jesse didn’t know what to say, his stomach was convulsing. A silence descended between them while they both contemplated everything that had transpired. After a while Jesse wiped her tears with his hands, holding her face in them.
“Before I escaped, I threw the necklace in the fireplace. Last week it was on my locker. I think it was them who destroyed my flat too. I think the doll represented the baby I was supposed to have. They told us the eyes were the windows to the soul. They took the doll’s eyes out because they deem me soulless.” He registered the fear in her eyes and realised she had been carrying it around for a while.
Jesse watched the waiter arrive to take their orders, but they hadn’t even looked at the menu. Realising he’d stepped into a delicate situation, he backed away and said he’d leave them a further five minutes.
“I don’t know what to say.” Jesse’s throat was as dry as the Sahara Desert, and Hayley could see he was finding it difficult to come to terms with but didn’t know how to comfort him. Watching him look around the room, scanning and rubbing his chin, she wondered if he was planning his escape route. Maybe he was trying to decide whether she was telling the truth, she thought.
“I’m not lying, I promise,”
Jesse turned to her, shocked. She sounded like a little girl, waiting for the repercussions.
“I know you’re not,” he whispered, moving her hair behind her ear, Jesse leaned over and kissed her lips. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”
She smiled, but doubted he’d have any way of stopping them if they wanted to take her back. She just hoped it was some kind of weird coincidence, otherwise it meant she was on borrowed time.
“Can we not talk about this anymore?” She asked, wanting to enjoy the rest of the evening, if they still had one.
“We can do whatever you want,” he replied before kissing her.
“I’ll get cleaned up,” she answered, standing up.
“Hey.” Turning back to him, his eyes were glassy. “You’re amazing.”
Hayley smiled, feeling her heart explode.
Jesse continued watching her walk to the ladies. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it hadn’t been that. Now he was torn between wanting to murder someone and grab her and never let go. Neither response was probably what she needed. But she amazed him. He couldn’t believe she had carried that around with her for so long and still appeared to function as a well-adjusted adult. He’d never have known until they’d got intimate.
Was that why she had kept him at bay, worried about what he’d see? Or was she simply not ready? Who could blame her, that was one hell of a leap for anyone?
When she got back, they scanned the menu and decided on what to eat; the waiter brought them their dishes once they were ready.
“When did he tell you?” Asked Hayley, deciding to break her own rule, but she just couldn’t ignore it, it had been playing on her mind.
Jesse glanced at her, unsure what she was referring to.
“I asked him not to; I wanted to say in my own time.” Dawning on him that she’d spoken with Nick, he nodded thoughtfully. Jesse thought she’d be angry about him speaking with Nick behind her back, but she seemed to be accepting of it.
“I don’t suppose he thought he had much choice,” answered Jesse.
“Why do you say that?” Hayley asked whilst cutting into her fillet of chicken.
“I showed him my warrant card.”
Hayley nearly choked, but when she looked at Jesse he wasn’t smiling or laughing like she presumed he would be. She left it, feeling as though she had delved into something she shouldn’t have between Rob and Jesse.
They continued the night speaking about Jesse’s family, the outings they’d enjoyed, and his university days. She spoke about some things she’d seen at the pub when she had worked behind the bar in the evenings, and her college days whilst training. The day she took her tool kit on the train full of knives and having the contents gone through by the police because they deemed them as lethal weapons.
Jesse couldn’t help looking at her now and then when she wasn’t taking any notice of him. She had delicate features. He couldn’t get his head around anyone trying to hurt her, or how she didn’t spend her life depressed. But he supposed she must have her moments just like everyone else.
Jesse had booked Hayley a room when she had gone to the toilet and paid on his credit card. He’d done it on the premise that they couldn’t keep turning up five minutes apart, but also that she’d be safe there till he could look into what she had told him. If someone really was out to get her, he needed to sort it out.
The evening had started awkwardly, but regardless they’d had a pleasant time, she was easy to speak to. He would never have guessed what she’d been through, thought Jesse, watching her as he paid at the bar for the meal.
Handing her a key for the room, he grabbed his coat off his chair. “Where do I go?”
Jesse offered to show her. He pushed a door at the back of the room, which opened out onto a courtyard filled with wildflowers and a pebble footpath that led to a renovated barn. The night was drawing in, but the sun was still just on the horizon, making the night sky look beautiful with its rich pink shades.
“The sky looks amazing; I wish I’d brought my camera.” Hayley looked up. The clouds reminded her of the scene in Dumbo with all the elephants dancing around. She could imagine them organising themselves into gymnastic poses.
Jesse watched her in her own little world and smiled. Opening the door to the old stone-built barn with wooden frames and woollen carpets. He led her down a long corridor boasting dark wooden doors numbered from one to ten. She took the key out of her pocket, noting she had number seven.
; Unlocking the door and stepping inside she ushered Jesse in, shutting it behind him she asked, “Will you stay?”
Jesse looked at her, shocked.
“Just for a bit,” she clarified.
Walking over to the curtains, he looked out before drawing them. Turning around, he saw Hayley sat on the end of the bed with a smirk on her face
“I meant as a friend, not as a security guard,” she answered, laughing.
“A friend?” He inquired, walking over to her. Her big blue eyes staring up at him. “Do you usually kiss all your friends?” He watched Hayley smile and then shrug.
“Maybe,” she giggled, thinking she had definitely had enough wine when she hiccupped.
“Care to show me how friendly these kisses get?” He asked, taking her hands and pulling her off the bed to stand. “So, I know how jealous I have to get?”
They kissed, and she didn’t want him to stop this time. He made her feel safe, alive, but protected. After all, he knew, and he was still there. The scars wouldn’t be such a shock. All the hairs on her arms stood up as he kissed her neck and shoulders, then ran his fingers down her back gently and she flinched, more out of habit than pain.
“Just tell me if you don’t want something,” he whispered in her ear as he feather-touched it. “Do you want me to stop?”
She turned her head to face him and kissed him on the lips. Unable to speak, she let him know that was the last thing she wanted him to do.
Jesse smiled whilst carrying on kissing her. She could feel his lips brushing her shoulders. Moving her jaw back to allow him space to carry on, he pulled her hips towards him, and she let out a gasp. Then he moved his palms down to her thighs and hitched her dress until he had gathered enough in his hands to lift the rest over her head.
Standing in only her underwear and shoes, she unbuttoned his shirt before pulling it off. Hayley was nervous, but he was urgent in his kisses and it gave her the confidence to carry on. Pulling at his belt, she unzipped his trousers before he held her arms and pushed her back slightly. Looking up at him with alarm, she wondered if she’d done something wrong?