by Lauren Runow
Sonia is just as shocked, “Wow! Did you really just say that? I’m… I’m shocked!”
“Oh, Sonia, he’s just so, so, ugh, I don’t know what it is. He’s everything I have ever wanted. He’s romantic, obviously,” I point to the phone to make my point. “When we’re together, we can talk for hours or sit totally comfortable in silence. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
“I don’t know what it is. He won’t open up to me. We’ve been at my place twice now, kissing and both times he stops, just saying sorry and leaving. He did stay once but didn’t try anything. Just laid with me all night. Weird, huh?”
“Wow, a guy slept next to you and didn’t try anything?” Sonia’s not hiding her surprise.
“After he left my house the other day he called and wanted to have phone sex.”
Sonia laughs, “Really?”
“Yeah, it was hot! But then I was like, wait, why aren’t we doing this for real? And I told him to come over. He just keeps saying ‘I can’t…’”
“Is he religious? Do you think he’s a virgin?”
I choke on my food at the thought, “Holy hell! Do you think? Oh, that’s weird. He’s in, like, his late twenties, twenty-eight I think he said. Do you think?”
Sonia just shrugs, “Not sure what else it could be?”
“Ok, well, he’ll tell me eventually, I know he will.”
It’s late at night and I can’t sleep. All I can think about is Charlie. I want to see him. I consider calling him but it’s so late I’m not sure if he’ll be awake. And it’s not like I can convince him to come over. I wish he would. Maybe I can ask him just to lay with me again?
Just when I get up the courage to call him my phone dings, alerting me of a text.
It’s a link to a YouTube video again with no other words. Smiling I click the link, starting the song. This one is darker. Not the love songs he’s been sending all week.
It starts with clouds and lightening as the words Papa Roach come across the screen. I look to the link of the video, reading Leader of the Broken Hearts and I frown. What is he trying to say?
I listen to the guitar play, watching the video. It starts with an orphanage and a little boy walking out. A single tear falls down my face as I listen to the words.
It’s been five days since I’ve seen Allison. My text messages to her have helped but I’m still craving to be near her. Jacquelyn has been a good enough distraction this week but I’m nervous now for the upcoming weekend with no appointments to keep me busy.
I’ve gotten myself into a routine this week of going to the gym, then Jacquelyn’s, gym again, eating and going straight to bed. No time to think, just fuck and workout hard. That’s it.
Jacquelyn and I have fucked every way from here to next Tuesday and I’m running out of ideas. I’ve used all of my tricks so it’s time to pull out the big guns today for our last hurrah of her weeklong sex-capade, so I pack a bag and head out to her place.
Upon arrival, I ask her to stay in the living room while I get everything set up. She smiles like a giddy schoolgirl and sits, waiting patiently. In her bedroom, I pull out twenty candles and light them all over her room along with spraying pure lavender into the air. Switching on my phone, I start my playlist of slow, romantic orchestra music with long violin sections and a woman’s voice softly singing.
I strip down to my black Calvin Klein boxer briefs and walk into the living room.
“I’m ready for you, Ms. Sanders.” I hold out my hand offering it to her.
Jacquelyn grabs my hand, raising her eyebrows to me. “What do you have planned for me today, Mr. Ashley?”
I look away from her as we walk down the hallway toward her bedroom. “Have you ever heard of tantric sex?” one eyebrow lifted, I cock my head to the side to look at her.
“Have I ever,” her voice filled with excitement.
“Well then, please follow me.” I walk in front of her, holding her hand while she follows close by.
“Mr. Ashley…” her eyes light up in awe as she enters the room twinkling with candlelight.
I grab her tightly with one arm as I undo each button of her blouse very slowly. I keep trying to look deep into her eyes but every time I do my stomach turns and I quickly look away. Part of tantric sex is looking at each other for long lengths of time but no matter how hard I try, I can’t do it. I close my eyes and hope she doesn’t notice.
Moving as slowly as I can, I remove her shirt and start to slide her skirt down her legs, leaving her panties on. I inch closer to the floor as her skirt comes down and I’m kneeling at her feet where I whisper without looking up to her, “Step out of your skirt.”
She does and I start at her feet, tantalizingly kissing her toes and moving up her leg until my nose is right at her pussy. She spreads her feet a little wider, giving me access and I nuzzle into her, teasing her through her panties before reaching up and sliding them down to her feet, pulling them off completely.
Starting at the back of her heels, I kiss the side of her leg, moving all the way up, past her breast where I stop and suck her nipple before teasing it with my teeth. Moving up, slowly again, I whisper in her ear, “Lie down on the bed, face down.”
I squirt massage oil in a thin line running all the way down to the base of her lower back, wrapping her back with the length of my hands, moving up and down, applying pressure where it is needed and carefully caressing every where else. Jacquelyn moans in appreciation and it helps me become Mr. Ashley that much more.
Opening my mouth again, I lick and kiss starting at the base of her neck, down her back, over her tight ass, down her legs to her feet where I suck on each toe individually.
I grab the bottle again, squirting oil into my hands and start massaging both feet at the same time, one in each hand, pressing my thumb on the arch of her foot, sliding up and down either foot in an opposite rhythmic motion.
Softly, I urge her to turn around so we’re facing each other, sitting up right. I try to look into her eyes but fail again.
Looking down at her hands, I hold them tightly, pulling her closer to me. “Come here,” I command, holding up a condom, “put this on me.”
My focus is down to make sure she’s putting the condom on correctly and, really, so I don’t have to look at her.
“Here,” I whisper, grabbing her hand again, “Climb on top of me. Facing me, sitting upright, wrap your legs around my back.”
I guide her into position and slowly insert my cock inside her. I sit still for a second, letting her relish in the feeling of me before I slowly start to move my hips back and forth, grinding myself against her, letting the weight of her body force us together.
I continue this movement until I can feel her body start to tighten and slowly stop my movement, feeling her unwind before starting all over again.
I can tell she’s getting tightly wound and ready to explode so I switch things up, laying her on her back, kissing her neck as I move. Now standing next to the bed with her laying flat on the very edge. Lifting her legs up so her toes are around my neck, I bury myself into her slick pussy again, starting my slow, tantric fucking all over again, stopping then starting again just like before.
One last time, I pull out just as I feel her tensing with her release. I sit back on my knees, putting my hand on her hips as I whisper, “Here, come sit like me, on your knees but facing away from me.” She does and I fill her from behind.
With her legs closed tight like this I have to really push myself inside her heat. She let’s out the most amazing, deep, holy-shit moan as I stretch her to the max and it’s exactly what I need to get me going.
I know it’s time, so I curve one arm around her waist and one arm around her breast, pulling her in closer whispering into her ear, “Cum for me baby.”
On cue, Jacquelyn explodes in the most intense, satisfying, glorious orgasm and I follow right after her.
Jacquelyn, still reeling from her orgasm, falls down on the bed saying, “I love you.”
I laugh, thinking nothing of her words. I mean, it’s not the first time someone has proclaimed their love for me after I fuck them senseless. It’s just the high from the orgasm and I never make a big deal out of it so I don’t embarrass them.
I just smirk saying, “I am glad you approve, Ms. Sanders.”
“No, I mean it, Mr. Ashley.” She sits up with determination in her voice and leans toward me. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. All of this,” she holds up her hands as she looks around her room, “this is all mine. It’s my money, not my husband’s. I left him. This could all be yours. And we could be together.” She pauses looking straight into my eyes, “Forever.”
Her words ring through my head.
Are you fucking kidding me?
My head is spinning from her proposal. I’m only here because you pay me to be. FUCK.
I jump up, quickly put on my pants and search for my shirt. “Look, Ms. Sanders, this has been fun and all. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s not like that. I can’t really be with you. You don’t even know me.”
Jacquelyn jumps up, wrapping her arms around me, “I know you feel it, too. You don’t have to hide it. You want me and I can make all of your dreams come true. Look around. Anything you want, even your wildest dreams could be yours. I have more money than you could ever imagine. And I want you to have it, too. We could live the rest of our lives in beautiful, sexual bliss.” Her voice is pleading, sounding desperate as she pulls on my neck.
I’m trying to figure out what I can do while still being non-confrontational, because this woman is crazy. What if this turns into a Stephen King Misery type of situation?
I place my hands on either side of her face and kiss her lightly. “I’m sorry, I just can’t. Please understand. Sex was all this was.”
I grab my keys and head out the door as fast as I can; leaving her standing naked in her bedroom still lit with candles everywhere.
While driving down the long driveway I call Ms. Devine. “Well, hello there Mr. Ashley, have you had a nice afternoon fucking your brains out?”
“You have to find Jacquelyn someone else,” I snap into the phone.
“Oh darling, what happened?” her voice concerned but chastising my demand.
“She said she loves me. She wants to leave her husband and have me move into her house!” I’m yelling, still in disbelief.
“Wow, you are a good fuck, aren’t you? I will have to try you sometime,” she giggles. “Don’t worry darling. I will talk to her. Please don’t jump to conclusions, I am sure everything will work out fine, trust me.”
“No! I’m done, you hear me?” The anger in my voice surprises even me. “I’m done!” I know my words mean so much more than just Jacquelyn and I feel it so deep inside, freeing me and it feels amazing.
“No worries, darling. Let me talk to her.” She hangs up, not listening to the fact that I’m done – I quit.
I’m still completely rattled from the day’s events and want nothing more but to see Allison. I swipe on my phone, pull up her name and our most recent text messages. I type out:
Hello, how have you been?
Then delete it all, thinking it’s lame and try for:
Can I take you to dinner?
Then delete that. Fuck. I really just want to say, “Please come over, I need you, I want you.” But I can’t… I’m that much of a pussy.
I guess I never fully deleted the last text because my finger accidently hits the send button, sending her an empty text with just a blank space. Quickly I throw down the phone. Shit. How did I do that?
A second later my phone dings with a message. Quickly, I pick it up displaying her reply:
Hello…?
My heart is in my throat. Thankful I don’t have to actually speak, I reply.
Hi.
Hi yourself. Good to hear from you with actual words. No video this time, huh?
My heart breaks.
Sorry.
There’s a long pause in our text conversation, and I still have no idea what to say. She finally types, breaking the silence.
Did you just text to say hi?
Yeah.
Nothing else?
No.
Wait yes…
Shit. I’ve never been this torn.
Yes what?
I don’t know.
Can I come see you?
Yes, please! I need you here…
Ok.
There’s another long pause.
You have to give me your address. Stalker tendencies aren’t my specialty ;-)
425 1st St. #11
Ok, see you soon.
I exhale, feeling a huge weight lifted off my chest and for the first time all week, I feel like I can breathe.
Just a few minutes later there’s a knock at the door. I wasn’t expecting her so fast and my heart pounds as I open the door halfway, leaning against it.
We stare at each other as she stands in the hallway. She’s dressed in a long, tight, striped skirt with a slit all the way up her leg and a tight black top to match. I’m lost in her eyes and soft pink lips. After a few seconds she tilts her head to the side raising her eyebrows giving me a look of are you going to ask me in?
It takes me out of my daydream and I feel like an idiot for just staring at her. I open the door further, shyly saying, “Please, come in.”
After she walks in, I close the door and walk back into my apartment being very quiet. She makes her way through the long open room to the large picturesque window with the view of the Bay Bridge that is all lit up with twinkling lights. “Wow, what a view.”
She turns to look at me and I’m caught staring at her. I quickly turn to the fridge, like a complete idiot, saying, “Yeah, I love turning out the lights and just watching the cars go by. Can I pour you a glass of wine?”
“Yes, thank you,” she pauses, watching me like she’s gauging my mood. I’m a nervous wreck and so obvious about it. Real smooth, Ashley.
She finally speaks and I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding, feeling the tension from my shoulders release slightly. “Your text was perfect timing. I was just getting out of my class on New Montgomery. How have you been?”
I can tell by her tone that she’s trying to act nonchalant but I know she’s wondering why I haven’t called her all week. Walking toward her with two glasses of Silver Oak Cabernet, I hand her one trying to avoid the topic.
She doesn’t know I’ve been fucking different woman. I’ve been at work. That’s all it is – work, so I respond, “Fine, and you?”
“Good. I developed that picture you took. Do you want to see it?”
A genuine smile comes over my face; I’d forgotten how good it feels to really smile. “I’d love to.”
Allison walks over to the chair where she set her bag down to pull out the photo. Looking at it first, then handing it to me. Holding it up, I gaze down at it expressionless. I’m speechless from the sight. It’s amazing. It’s everything I feel for this girl, right here, in my hands, staring back at me.
I sit down on the couch, never taking my eyes off the photo, letting out a deep sigh before looking up to her still standing. “I love it,” I whisper, barely able to get the words out. “May I keep it?”
Allison walks over and sits down beside me. “Sure, I can make myself another one.”
I smile sweetly at her and place a small kiss on her cheek. “Thank you.”
I get up and walk over to the fridge where I find a magnet to put it on the front of my otherwise bare fridge and step back to admire it more.
I turn around to smile at her and all of a sudden I’m even more nervous than before.
What now? I’ve never had a girl in my apartment. I’ve never really hung out with a girl, at least one that I wasn’t there to just fuck and leave. What do I do? What do we talk about?
I’m looking around, searching for something to break the silence. “Um, uh, can I make you dinner?”
“You cook?�
�� her voice an octave higher in surprise.
I laugh, “Yes, I cook. I actually like to cook.” I feel my voice leveling out and I’m glad I’ve found something to do. “Do you have any strong dislikes or likes?”
“Well then, I’m impressed. Surprise me,” Allison smiles as she walks to the breakfast bar and sits down on the stool.
I open the fridge to see what to make. “How about fish tacos?”
“That would be great. Where did you learn how to cook?”
I pause with my back to her; still looking in the fridge not sure if I want to go down that road. Taking a deep breath in, I take a chance. “My mom taught me. I used to sit just like you are now and watch her cook. She would give me simple tasks and always made it fun.”
“How sweet.”
She doesn’t ask any more questions about cooking or my mom and I breathe a sigh of relief that she doesn’t.
Our simple conversations come back, just like every time we’ve been together before, while I cook dinner and we finish off the bottle of wine.
Allison talks about her photo project at school and Nichole’s modeling gig in L.A. I’m mostly quiet, just listening to her stories and focusing on cooking. I feel so comfortable with her and for the first time all week I’m truly relaxed.
Dinner is ready and I’m happy that I’ve impressed Allison with my cooking skills. I fried corn tortillas coating them in olive oil and parmesan cheese, placing cod filets in the tortilla, topping it with Mexican Crema, avocado, cheese and a homemade salsa. We both sit at the small table next to the breakfast bar and begin to eat.
“Charlie, this is amazing. You can cook for me whenever you want,” she says smiling as she takes another bite.