by Lauren Runow
My heart sinks. Yeah, you neither…
“What?” I’m really trying to sound excited for her, before I crush her completely.
“Not only do I get to stay for Fashion Week, Alex told me he’s been so impressed with my work that I get to do an entire show as the lead photographer!”
I light up; genuinely excited by her news as I pick her up, swinging her around. “Allison, that’s wonderful! I knew you would do well. I’m so proud of you.”
Allison’s hugging me tightly as I swing her around. Then I hear her take a sharp breath in and I know she noticed my suitcase sitting on our bed.
She pulls back to look at me, questioning what she sees, “What’s going on? Charlie, why are your suitcases out?”
I put her down, my chest feeling like an elephant is stepping right on top of me.
“Charlie, what happened? Are you leaving me? I don’t understand. Why? What’s going on?” I can sense her starting to panic.
I grab her hands, looking into her eyes as tears start to fill my eyes.
Allison’s voice starts to crack as her eyes swell up, “Charlie, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Allison, I would never leave you. Please know that.”
“So then what’s going on?”
“Allison, you know I love you. Please remember that. I pray to God that you love me, too. And you will continue to love me.”
“Charlie, you’re freaking me out. What’s going on?”
“Allison, I have to go back to San Francisco. Please know that I wish I could stay here but I have to go back. My flight leaves in two hours.”
“What? Why? Charlie, what’s going on? Why do you have to go back so San Francisco?”
I walk to the couch, sitting down, putting my head in my hands, trying to fight back the tears flowing down. Allison walks over to comfort me. I’m happy she does but I know I don’t deserve her comfort. I put us in the mess. No matter how much I want to blame Diane, I’m just as at fault as she is, probably more.
“Please talk to me. Is it Jason? Did something happen?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.”
“Then tell me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, whatever it is.”
“I just don’t want you to hate me.”
“Why? Why would I hate you? Please, you’re freaking me out, what’s going on?”
“Allison, it’s Jacquelyn,” I pause to look at her. Allison takes a deep breath in as she goes pale white. “I spoke to your mom today.”
Allison gets up, frustrated. “I told you, I want nothing to do with her.”
“She knows that. She’s been trying to get a hold of us to tell me something.”
“What, what could she have to tell you that’s so important?”
“Fuck, Allison. Why? Why did this have to happen?” Tears start to fall again.
Allison walks over to me, kneeling down, holding my hands, “Baby, tell me. What’s going on?”
“Allison, Jacquelyn is, I guess you could say, brain dead and on life support.”
Allison just looks at me, emotionless over what I just said. “Ok, so why do you have to go back?” Her voice is callous but I know that is about to change, maybe forever when it comes to how she feels about me.
I look at her, scared to speak but I take a deep breath, knowing I have to. “Allison, she’s pregnant.”
Allison falls from her kneeling position to the floor, letting go of my hands, speechless.
I look away, embarrassed.
“And they think it’s yours?” Allison’s voice cracks, and I know she’s afraid of the words she just asked.
I look at her, tears rolling down my face and just shake my head yes.
Allison starts to cry, putting her face in her hands.
I grab her, hugging her tightly. “Please. Please Allison, don’t cry.”
“Don’t cry? What am I supposed to do, Charlie?” She jerks away from me, obviously offended.
I tilt my head back in frustration. “I’m sorry. Allison, I’m so sorry. Please believe me.”
“Charlie, fuck. This is just too much! What am I supposed to think? What’s going to happen?”
“That’s the thing,” I pause.
Allison looks up to me, “What?”
“Turns out she doesn’t have any family. And was serious about me living with her and divorced her husband.”
“Ok, so what does all of this mean?”
“Since she has no next of kin…” I look away, not believing the words coming out of my mouth.
“What, Charlie?”
“Allison, it’s my decision if they keep her alive till the baby is born or terminate the pregnancy now.”
Allison falls back, lying on the floor, covering her eyes. “You have got to be shitting me?”
I move closer to her, “Allison, I don’t know what to do?”
“Charlie, what do you want?”
“I want you.”
She lets out a deep sigh, looking over to me sitting next to her, “Charlie,” she shakes her head, “This is bigger than you and I. This is a baby.” She pauses as tears start to fall down her face. “Wait… How do they know it’s yours? I thought you said you always used protection before me.”
Fuck me. I look down. “Allison, I didn’t lie. You were the first woman I was with where I didn’t use protection.”
She looks at me, squinting her eyes, trying to understand.
“After I ended it with you your mom made me go back one more time.” I stop, grabbing her hands, “Please know it was the absolute worst moment of my life. I was completely dead inside by the thought of losing you and I wasn’t paying attention. I let her use me, like everyone else always did, and I wanted it over as soon as possible. I didn’t realize I wasn’t wearing a condom until.”
She stops me, yanking her hands out of mine and holding them up, “Stop right there. Don’t tell me more.”
“Allison, please don’t be mad. I thought I had no choice and that I was losing you forever.”
Allison shakes her head, holding her hands up to her ears like she doesn’t want to hear anything else.
“Allison, what do I do? I need to know what you think.”
“Charlie, it doesn’t matter what I think.”
I grab her hands, holding them tightly. “Allison, yes, it totally matters what you think. I want this to be our decision.”
Allison falls back again, looking up to the ceiling. “No, Charlie. This has to be your decision, not mine.”
“No, don’t say that. I want to be with you. And if you don’t want me to keep it then I won’t.”
Allison looks to me, “No, Charlie, you have to keep me out of this. This is a baby. Your baby, not mine. It needs to be solely your decision.”
“But I have nothing without you!” I plead. “What if I keep it, will you still be with me?”
“Charlie,” she looks directly into my eyes. “I’m not going to answer that. This is your decision.”
“So you’ll leave me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“So you would stay?”
“Charlie, stop. All of this is too much. I’ve only known for two minutes. Before we discuss you and I, you need to decide what you want to do.”
“But how can I leave here not knowing what’s going to happen with us?”
“Charlie, it’s time to man up. Take care of your responsibilities. We’ll figure us out when I get back to San Francisco.”
I put my head on my arm that’s resting on my knees and start to cry. I hate that I’m crying in front of her but I can’t stop it. I’m a total wreck and I have no clue what to do.
“Come on, what time’s your flight? Are you ready?” Allison is trying to be strong enough for both of us and I love her for it.
I look at my watch, “I should probably leave now.”
Allison gets up and offers her hand to help me up. I wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly. “Please Allison, please don’t hate
me.”
“I don’t hate you, Charlie,” she whispers through her cracking voice.
“Allison, I love you.” I lean back, placing my hands on either side of her face, “Please remember that. No matter what happens. I love you. Nothing else matters but this right here.”
Allison hugs me again as I feel tears rolling down her face.
We grab my stuff and stand at the door looking at each other. “Charlie, I can’t walk you down. I don’t want to say goodbye in the hotel lobby.”
I drop my bags, placing my hands on either side of her face again. I’ve never told anyone why I don’t ever say goodbye. Really, no ones ever asked but there is no way I’m going to say it now.
“No, don’t say that. I don’t say goodbye. I never got to say goodbye to my parents and I vowed I would never say it again.”
Allison looks into my eyes, sensing my seriousness about what I just said and tears start to flow down her face again.
“Till we see each other again, Allison.” I kiss her softly before wrapping my arms around her, hugging her tightly.
“Ok, Charlie, till we see each other again.”
Thank you for taking the time to read Charlie and Allison’s story. I hope you love them just as much as I do. Their story continues in Rewritten out now.
Charlie loves Allison more than life itself. But is his love strong enough to end a part of him?
Allison found the man of her dreams but fate keeps slapping them in the face with new challenges making her wonder if everything really does happen for a reason.
There are decisions to be made, relationships to mend and futures to be told all with one question; is their love strong enough to be rewritten?
Music was a big influence in the story of Charlie and Allison. Below is a list of the songs that inspired their romance. Since they’re into all genres of music, you will find there is an eclectic mix to their soundtrack. If you want to be more in the mind of Charlie and Allison, search for these songs on YouTube and enjoy.
Charlie and Allison’s playlist:
• Savior by Rise Against
(The song that Charlie and Allison discuss at the coffee shop about love, save and hate.)
• Porn Star Dancing by My Darkest Days and Just a Lil Bit by 50 Cent
(The songs that play when Charlie and Allison first workout together.)
• Monster by Skillet
(Charlie hears this song at the gym the day after he kisses Allison then runs out of her apartment.)
• Hero by Skillet
(This plays on the radio as Charlie waits for Allison to get out of school before going up to Twin Peaks.)
• Close Your Eyes For This by Parmalee
(When Charlie and Allison are sitting on the back of his mustang at Twin Peaks, this comes on the radio.)
• Leather and Lace by Stevie Nicks
(When Charlie picks Allison up to take her to Stow Lake he emphasizes on Don Henley’s portion that starts at 1 min 45 seconds into the song.)
• The Only Exception by Paramore
(When Charlie hears this song at the concert he knows she is his only exception, especially two minutes into the song.)
• Where It’s At by Dustin Lynch
(Charlie plays this when Allison changes into a sweatshirt that hangs off her shoulder after the concert.)
• My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark by Fall Out Boy
(This plays at the gym the night after they have phone sex.)
• Riot by Three Days Grace
(When Charlie is trying to forget about Allison and drive to his appointment with Jacquelyn he puts this on.)
• Sure Be Cool If You Did by Blake Shelton
(This is the first video link that Charlie sends Allison.)
• Addicted by Saving Abel
(This is the second video link that Charlie sends Allison.)
• Sing by Unwritten Law
(This is the third video link that Charlie sends Allison.)
• Leader of the Broken Hearts by Papa Roach
(This is the fourth video link that Charlie sends Allison.)
• Lettin’ The Night Roll by Justin Moore
(Charlie plays this as they drive from Napa to Vacaville.)
• Elva by Unwritten Law
(Charlie sings a few words from this song to Allison the night after they first have sex.)
• You Save Me by Kenny Chesney
(This plays in the car when they leave the hotel in Tahoe.)
• The Rock Show by Blink 182
(Charlie playfully says this is his song dedicated to her because it talks about falling in love with a girl from the rock show.)
• Problem by Ariana Grande
(Allison dances to this song at the club before Charlie shows up.)
• Stay by Rihanna
(Charlie blasts this song from his car to get Allison to change her mind.)
• Burnin’ It Down by Jason Aldean
(Charlie puts this on to bring their mood down from the Molly.)
• All I Want to Do by Sugarland
(Allison sings this to Charlie as she gets ready for work.)
• Lost in this Moment by Big & Rich, Love, Love, Love by Unwritten Law and S&M by Rihanna
(Charlie sends these video links to Allison while she’s at work.)
• Deuces by Chris Brown
(Allison responds to the S&M video with this song.)
• Started From the Bottom by Drake
(When Allison says she has the meeting with Alex Charlie sends her this.)
The story of Allison and Charlie wouldn’t be what it is today without my fabulous best friend and the best beta reader a girl could ever have, Sonia Aguero. She was the first person I told, well besides my husband, that I even wrote a book and not only was she supportive, she dove right in, giving me suggestions on parts that needed changed, clothes they wore and things that should be added. You can thank her for the phone sex scene. I really don’t know what I would do without her in my life, not only because of this book, but because she has been there for every aspect since seventh grade. I love you girl!
I owe everything to my wonderful husband Chris. I am so thankful that I have such a supportive husband who not only allows me to follow my dreams; he sits beside me, encouraging me and all of my crazy ideas, and when I say crazy, I mean crazy. When I wanted to start a community magazine – he encouraged me to do so when everyone else thought I was crazy. Eight years later and the magazine is stronger than ever. I got the idea of opening a kid’s science museum as a non-profit – he became our treasure. I wanted to write a book – he sat quietly beside me while I worked every night after we put the kids to bed and I lived with my computer on my lap. With his support, every new adventure in our lives has been amazing and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.
I also want to thank the first people who took the time to read the book and give me their feedback. Lacy Pryde, Allison Baker, Angie Bates, Michelle Strand, Tamara Lush, Amy Gentili and Leah Purnell, I can’t thank you all enough. All of your insight, edits and time meant the world to me. Reading from a word doc is a pain and I really appreciate you taking the time to help me follow my dreams. I can’t forget too, my first editor, my mother-in-law Judy Runow. Her comment of, “Girl, where do you find the time? Where do you get the imagination? And I want to ask something else but he’s my son,” will forever crack me up!
Thank you Dallin Stuber for painting the amazing picture of the Golden Gate Bridge and to Brianne Leymaster for taking my design concept for the cover and making it so much better!
Thank you to my Mom, Dad and Step-Mom for all of your support through the years. I thought my religious Dad would be upset that his little girl wrote a sex novel but when he found out his only words were, “Well, if anyone could write a book it would be you.” I can’t tell you how much those words meant to me. Thank you!
Thank you especially to my Mom for teaching me my love of music and that, “Music truly is the
doctor.” And to my sister Amber for being an Unwritten Law groupie with me!
Last, but definitely not least, I want to thank Autumn Hull from The Autumn Review and Wordsmith Publicity for taking a chance on an unknown author and giving me guidance to make this story what it is today. I know it wouldn’t have gotten out there without your help and I truly appreciate it!
Lauren Runow is a lover of music and songs that speak to her or make her dance. She is a graduate from the Academy of Art in San Francisco and lives in Northern California with her husband and two wild and crazy boys. If she’s not at her local CrossFit or working on the community magazine her husband and her publish together, she’s at the baseball field with her boys or taking them to the skatepark.
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Unwritten Copyright © 2014 by Lauren Runow
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-9966922-0-5
This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means. Including electronic or photographic reproduction in whole or in part, without the written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Names, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.